*OOC - It's very silly, but it made me laugh writing this. Look forward to your response Joshie, and good luck bro*
OK, so where were we? Oh yes, I’d passed a medical examination, with a little coaxing from me towards the Doctor who was concerned about my mental state. Since then, I had lost a battle with the Starrman, but the war was still very much ongoing. And after being made aware of the troubles brewing in GCW, I had made my way over there and already instilled myself as the light amongst the Darkness, vanquishing the criminal whose name I had already forgotten, and the ‘Enigma’ who had been a worthy adversary, but had fallen like all the others. As I awaited my next assignment on behalf of the city, hopefully a date with the one they called ‘Harker’ a woman I believed possessed super hearing, hence the name, I had become aware of a new gathering of the Underworld. Something that was going under the guise of the ‘God of Wrestling’. What it was I didn’t know, but I was going to find out.
INDIANAPOLIS – 2 DAYS TILL GOW
The minute I arrived in Indianapolis, the stench hit me like a tidal wave. The criminal odor was one I had come to recognize over the years, and it was a relief to know I was on the right track. The gathering was going to take place at somewhere they were calling the ‘Indiana Farmers Coliseum’ which sounded very much like a den of iniquity to me, and so I decided to scope out the place, observing the comings and goings like any true superhero would. Truth be told, stood on a corner of the street in my superhero suit, with my military strength binoculars, I was garnering my fair share of attention from the locals.
“Yo, love the Gimp Suit”
Standard… pull your jeans up sunshine
“Halloweens not for a month yet?”
Yeah, well you’ve had your mask on all year fucknuts. And my own personal favorite…
“Look at this idiot, he thinks he’s Deadpool.”
I mean, the cheek of it, to think that I was imitating him, when in fact it was Wade who was copying me. Anyway, eventually someone arrives to open up the building, and just as I am about to make my way over the street and question him, a tap on my shoulder grabs my attention. I turn, and face one of the esteemed Indianapolis Police Department.
Zero: Good morning Officer, have you been sent as my back up?
He looks me up and down, taking in the wonder of my physique…obviously.
Officer: Back up Sir?
Zero: Yes, your department has obviously got wind of the shenanigans taking place inside that building.
He looks across the road where I am pointing, squinting to see better. To be fair to the officer, he was a little out of shape, and obviously his eyesight wasn’t the best either.
Officer: I don’t know of any shenanigans Sir, I was sent down her to investigate a complaint.
Keep up man… I sincerely hoped this wasn’t the best Indianapolis had to offer, or it looked like I was taking them down alone.
Zero: Yes, the criminal masterminds that are dwelling within that building.
Officer: No, a pervert that was standing on the corner of the street watching women get changed.
Now, I was on a pretty serious case here, but being the friendly neighborhood Zero that I am, I had to admit that this sounded interesting.
Zero: Ah, I see… so you actually approached me to help you apprehend a felon, now I understand. When was this villain last seen?
Officer: He was last seen on the corner of this very street, wearing what was described as a ‘gimp suit’ and looking very shady.
Zero: Good… that means we have something to go on. Hold on…
I wasn’t of exceptional intelligence for nothing people, the officer was talking about me.
Zero: I assure you officer, I have been doing nothing of the sort
I hold out my hand, which isn’t taken. This guy took his job very seriously.
Officer: Our witness states that you have been looking into her window for the last half an hour, the first part of which she was getting changed for work and saw you looking with those binoculars.
I have no clue why I suddenly put my hands behind my back seeing as he had obviously seen the binoculars already. I look over to where the Officer was talking about and sure enough, it could have been misconstrued where I was looking. I was furious, absolutely livid… not with the accusation’s, but with the fact I had obviously missed out on a pair of breasts, which let’s face it, even the saggy ones are at least worth taking a look.
Zero: I can assure you officer, I was doing nothing of the sort.
Officer: Yeah, well why don’t you come with me and explain yourself down at the station.
Zero: No can do I’m afraid… as I said, I am on a stake out.
I don’t know what I said, but before I know it my head is pressed against a wall, and my hands behind my back handcuffed. Of course I could have broken free, but I had decided that actually I was going to see how this panned out. My mind was going into overdrive, maybe, just maybe the police force were in on this. Perhaps the mastermind behind all of this was actually the Chief of Police, corrupted by greed like many I had seen in the past. If I was going to get to the bottom of this, I had to dive straight into the hornets’ nest, and this Officer was about to give me my reason for being there.
LATER
At the precinct, it becomes pretty obvious that no one is buying my story, such in the flimsy hook in which I am attached to a table, my head cuffs still binding me. Not going to lie, it was taking all my will power to stop me from just breaking free and walking out the station, but a ruckus right now wasn’t what I needed. So I decide to co-operate, knowing that although the police thought they were in control, it was I was held all the cards. Not literally, it’s a metaphor… look it up.
Officer: So, name?
Zero: The Iron Dragon, Zero.
Officer: Real name?
Zero: To give you that would reveal my true identity, and none of us need that officer.
Officer: Real name?
Zero: ….
The officer sighs, shaking his head
Officer: OK, for the benefit of the tape, ‘Zero’ has refused to give his real name.
Zero: Not for the benefit of the tape…
Officer: Please, ‘Zero’ my shift is nearly done, I need to get back to my wife and kids, let’s not make this take any longer than it has to ok.
Daft statement to make, after all that only served to make me want to keep him here longer. He was lucky however I had to get back too, who knows what had been happening whilst he was here. Damn me for not having a sidekick. *Makes mental note to create a sidekick*
Officer: Now, tell me, what you were doing loitering on the corner of that street?
Zero: I assure you good sir, I do not loiter. I observe yes…
Probably the wrong thing to say since I was being accused of being a pervert.
Zero: And yes, I love the female frame as much as the next man… unless they are homosexual… not that there is anything wrong with that.
Officer: So you weren’t looking into women’s bedroom windows with these binoculars.
Zero: No, I wasn’t.
Officer: These are a serious piece of kit, can I ask where you got them from?
Zero: A friend had them made for me
Officer: A friend?
Yeah, a friend you fuckers haven’t found yet. I don’t say that obviously.
Zero: Yes, every super hero has a ‘guy’ who invents stuff. He was going to build the lens into my suit but…
The officer waves his hand
Officer: Yes, the suit… what kind of person wears something like in the daytime?
Zero: Well that’s simple, a superhero of course.
The officer leans back in his chair, eyeing Zero with suspicion.
Officer: OK, I’ll bite… let’s say you WERE watching the Coliseum… why?
Zero: As I’ve been trying to tell you, ‘something’ is going down there very soon, and I was trying to find out what. The longer you keep me here, the more it suggests that I am right…
Officer: Right?
Zero: You are all a part of it, you’re the facilitators for whatever is happening there. Let me guess, the police chief is watching from behind that mirrored glass right, listening to every word.
Officer: The chief is a very busy man Sir, I assure you he doesn’t get involved in cases like this.
Zero: Yes, busy preparing for the endgame… I’m right aren’t I?
The officer turns to his colleague who has just been listening, and his colleague shrugs.
Officer: I assure you, we in the Indianapolis Police Department are only committed to catching the bad guys.
Zero: If that was right, you’d allow me to question your ‘chief’ right now
Officer: Well that’s obviously not going to happen
Zero: Very predictable… does the department have something to hide?
I could see he was getting frustrated, and as he takes off his glasses and folds them on the table before rubbing his eyes I knew that he was buckling, and the truth would soon be revealed.
Officer: Look son, I don’t know what your ‘deal’ is…
I don’t think I could have made it any clearer to be fair, but I allow him to continue without interruption.
Officer: But, I’m willing to accept that this is a real strange misunderstanding, and I’m going to let you go
Of course he was going to let me go, he didn’t want me anywhere near the ‘Chief’.
Officer: But seriously…
He pushes the binoculars across the table, and then stands, uncuffing me
Officer: Be careful where you point those things in future ok? You never know what you are going to see.
What that a threat? It certainly seemed like one, like I was poking just a little bit too close to the truth. I had to get back to the Coliseum though to see what was going on, so I make a mental note to return later and investigate the Indianapolis PD, because there was definitely something fishy going on.
Officer: Now get out of here, and stay out of trouble.
At this point, I try my very best to think of a witty comeback, or a threat of my own, that I was watching them. But, right now I was needed elsewhere, and I had no more time I could waste. I would head back to the Coliseum hopefully having missed nothing, and continue my stake out, this time perhaps with a little more discretion. Indianapolis needed me, and I wasn’t going to let them down.
LATER STILL
Bored… that pretty much summed it up right now. If there was a criminal undercurrent in this place, it wasn’t revealing itself. The only people I had seen coming and going were the staff, and there was sign of any of the catalogue of villains I had expected, not even the one that they called ‘Frost’, who apparently could freeze your testicles just by holding them as long as she didn’t ‘Let it go’ (cheap, I know.) I was starting to believe that this was a none-starter, and perhaps this was nothing more than a wrestling event when a blinding flash of inspiration hit me as hard as a twenty stone girl sat on your face. And that’s hard Ladies and Gentlemen. What if… the ‘complaint’ had been made by this woman to take me well and truly off the scent, and I’d missed ‘Frost’, ‘The Knight’ and ‘The Doctor’ taking care of business. I knew which apartment it was… and I decided to take a look. Counting the doors in the corridor the same as I had counted the windows, a method I had learned from Joey in the television series ‘Friends’ I knocked on the door, which opens with a creak. I step into the room, and quickly dive into a forward roll, evading the chair that smashes against the wall. I dive forwards, taking down the assailant with my super-fast agility, and pin them to the floor. It’s only now that I realize that it is Frost, and everything started to piece together.
(At this point I must reiterate that this is not really Selena Frost, and is merely an actor playing the part of ‘Frost’ one of the criminal element that I spoke about. You remember that right? Anyway, any further information can be found at Zero@irondragon.com but it’s not really Selena Frost. Just like Selena Frost isn’t Elsa… cool?)
Zero: You… you were the one who told the police that I was perving on you? I know you have a history of lying and deceit, but Frost… why would you go to such lengths as to undress in front of the window?
Frost: I didn’t… I hired the one they call ‘Kandis’ to do it
Damn, now I was really pissed that I hadn’t seen the show. I curse the Coliseum and its magnificent architecture for distracting me.
Zero: All to get me out the way huh?
Frost: Oh Zero… when will we get one over on your super ways?
Now, let’s get one thing straight. Frost had for years made out that she was one of the ‘good’ ones, and during my time there, I had realized that the people of SCW loved her. Many had seen through her personality however, no more so than the ‘Angel’ who like me was all ‘For the People’. Frost had been lucky that the mere mortals didn’t possess the same intelligence as ours, and thus she had carved a niche for herself, fooling everyone. However in this moment, her telling me how great I was, I knew that possibly for the first time in her life she wasn’t lying.
Zero: That is impossible Frost, I will always be one stop ahead.
And you know something, usually I would have been, but her compliments had distracted me for just a second, her kick to the side of my face knocking me out for longer than that. When I woke, predictably, Frost was gone, though that familiar stench of evil still remained
THE NEXT DAY – 1 DAY TILL GOW
I could have carried on the search during the night, but it is a little known fact that superhero’s do NOT get paid overtime, go figure. So once I was off the clock, I had settled down with a Jack Daniels, and ended up sleeping in my super suit, which I tended not to do because it made my balls sweaty and itchy. Having applied some talcum powder to the affected area, and given them a money shot of Ax for Men, I leave my hotel room and head off into the big city, and once again find myself the target of ridicule, my mood starting to take a nose dive.
“Hey, do you know Iron Man?”
Idiot, Iron Man died serving his country in something termed the ‘Endgame’.
“Sugar, is that a weapon in your trousers or are you just pleased to see me.”
I’ll let the hooker off, she was very complementary of my bulge and so she should be.
“Halloween is next month…”
He didn’t finished the sentence, he couldn’t. It was repetitive, and being repetitive was against the rules. It was very clearly stated.
But anyway you get the gist, being out and about, the people of this fair city had obviously never seen an ‘actual’ Super Hero, and to their credit weren’t including Amelia Robson in that…another fraud. I was about to give it up and head back to GCW, my mood at an all-time low and almost regretting the powers I’d been given, until passing a coffee shop, I happened to look inside. There, was someone I recognized. Someone who I had idolized for years. I had to say hello, so I enter the coffee shop, and ignoring the girl who asked me what she could get me. As I reach the table, he doesn’t look up.
Zero: *Cough* look over here
Finally, his attention is diverted to me
“Can I help you bro?”
Zero: I was passing, and I saw you… I just had to say hello. You are ‘Helms’ aren’t you?
(At this point I must reiterate that this is not really David Helms, and is merely an actor playing the part of ‘Helms’. As before further information can be found at Zero@irondragon.com .)
Helms: Yeah, that’s me alright. Bang.
Helms was actually a super hero from a bygone era, who also had something to do with the God of Wrestling. I didn’t know if he had come out of retirement or not, but I did know that if there was bad stuff going on in Indianapolis, he’d know about it. That’s if he hadn’t gone senile by now however because he had to be pushing sixty. I sit myself down, and to his credit he didn’t seem frustrated at the interruption
Zero: Can I ask you a question?
Helms: Sure, always happy to meet a fan, even a weirdly dressed one. Bang.
He obviously wasn’t up to date with the latest superhero trends so I ignore that comment.
Zero: How did you do it? Be a hero for so long I mean?
He pauses, obviously the old brain matter wasn’t working as quickly as it should. Apparently his wife was a real ‘Hellkat’ so the poor guy was probably spending his retirement having the life sucked from him, quite literally. After about five minutes he clicks back into gear. I knew he would eventually after my dealings with ‘The Knight’ another old codger who’d come out of retirement though I wasn’t sure if he was hero or not… you never were. Bit like the ‘Masons’ a group of siblings who didn’t seem to know themselves which side they were on.
Helms: It’s about being committed to your beliefs and staying ‘Good’. No matter what. Bang.
I could clearly remember him being ‘hooked up’ with the ‘Syren’ who prayed on other women by using her amazing breasts and was perhaps one of the evilest of them all, but I let it go (sorry Frost), now getting annoyed with him adding ‘Bang’ to every sentence.
Zero: So, as long as I still believe I’m doing the right thing… everything is Golden, no matter what anyone else says?
That was a long sentence, and I deduced I might be here for a while, but he was obviously warming up now, and answers pretty quickly.
Helms: Exactly
And then he is gone, concentrating only on his coffee and back to dreaming of a much simpler time when the mind and body still worked in unison. I wave my hand in front of his face and nothing, so I get up and leave, not sure he’d even noticed and once again ignoring the girl who knew she had lost out on a tip. Leaving the coffee shop, I once again felt energized. As ‘Helms’ had said, if I had belief, then there was no reason for me to cease the fight. They might not have realized it now, but Indianapolis needed me, just like EMERGE and SCW had needed me before.
THE DAY AFTER THE NEXT DAY – GOW DAY (for those not keeping count)
Over the course of the last twenty four hours, I had grown more and more suspicious. Although the Coliseum seemed like the epicenter, there had been sightings of criminals all over the city. Amongst those sightings had been Raab, related to the mind flayer known as ‘OAP’, and the ‘Steward’ who had one of the biggest gangs of hoodlums in the business. I had seen none of these personally, and it was only due to the many sources I had now here that I was learning the truth. However, quite accidently, on the other side of the street I had seen one of the most mysterious criminals of them all, the elusive ‘Hudson’. Hudson was known for his lack of morals, and a willingness to torture his victims, and use anyone he pleased as a pawn. But Hudson was also potentially the Hench pin behind this ‘God of Wrestling façade, and it is with great excitement that I follow him, every step justifying my suspicions. Finally he arrives at the Coliseum, and after looking to make sure no one was following him, not a very good look I might add seeing as I was stood thirty yards away in a red suit. And with me praying to whatever the God of Superheros is… probably Superman, he finally opens the doors to the Coliseum and steps inside
Zero: Gotcha…
I quickly walk over the road, looking left and right as I do (road safety kids) before opening the door and stepping into the Coliseum, and whatever evil it is I may face.
/ZERO HOUR
“If you would like to understand the success I have had during my time you only have to take a look at one of my former haunts, EMERGE, and the multitude of copycats now coming out the woodwork to fight the criminals of our cities. When I left EMERGE, I feared for them, but now the Incredible Dulk and JOOT have taken a stand against the group known only as ‘Unforgiven’ which I’ll be honest sounds like a the title of a porn film, the star having slipped into the wrong hole.”
I stand atop the Indiana War Memorial, and you don’t need to ask how I got up here. All you need to know is that I am, stood ignoring the height I am at, because I’m brave, plus the fall wouldn’t hurt me, because I’m Zero… the hero… etc
“What this shows, is that for all my naysayers, and those that don’t buy into the powers I possess, in EMERGE, in SCW and soon in GCW, I have given those people the belief to take back their cities. I have given them the strength to say ‘No More’ to those that want to leech off them. I have shown the people, yes the people, that there is a future for all of them, free from tyranny. Because there are people like me, who will never stop fighting for what is right. People like me, with extraordinary powers, and know how to use them for good. People like me, whose selfless acts ensure a life for the ‘normal’ people.
People…
Like…
Me…
… Who will not back down from the likes of you… HUDSON.”
I pause for a moment, a crowd of course forming below me. The Ambulance service had arrived, I wouldn’t be needing that, and people seemed afraid although they had no reason to be. Don’t try this at home though… you’re not Zero
“Hudson, what you are is a throwback from a by-gone age. Someone who still yearns for the ‘olden days’ and in your case quite rightly so. You have seen ‘Syren’s’ and ‘Angels’ and of course ‘Barbree’s’ take your spot at the head of the table, and on so many occasions you have very nearly fallen into the abyss. You’ve tried to go ‘straight’ a thousand times, you tried to be the ‘big bad’ that everyone fears, but no matter what persona we have been treated to, no matter how many times the Leopard changes it’s spots, you have always failed to find that pot at the end of the rainbow that gave you what you truly desired. Relevancy.
I mean, it’s not that long ago since Xander, You and the fat oaf Cherry ruled the roost over SCW. There was a time not that far in the past, that you were all living the life, Gold and Accolades dripping off you like the most expensive of perspiration. But now, Cherry is often unheard of, Xander picks on the innocent that cannot fight their battles and you… oh yes, you Hudson, you attach yourself to the highest bidder, like some modern day bounty hunter because you are no longer able to do the job yourself. I’m sure just like Helms and ‘The Knight’ you were retired, you were leaving it to those much younger that had surpassed you many moons ago. And yet the moment a ‘God’ is mentioned, here you are, searched for that notoriety you once had before you became old hat.”
His hands go to his hips, the people below gasping, believing he’d lose his balance
“Do you know what a ‘God’ truly is Hudson? A God isn’t someone who prays on the weak like you do. Allow me to explain. A God is a superhuman being, or someone having power over nature. That will be me then. A God is someone who is influential…”
I wink
“Admired.”
I point down towards my fans
“Or adored… tell me Hudson, how could you with your history be considered a God. No one likes you, no one admires you, and let’s face it, you’re about as influential as a packet of Cheetos, so it begs the question, how are you even in the reckoning, when you have no attributes that a ‘God’ possesses?”
I take a seat, why not, Superheros deserve a rest too.
“Let me tell you Hudson, you are in the reckoning quite simply because of everything you did in the past. Like Cruze, like Knight and like Valiant, the only reason you were accepted was due to the ‘fairytale’ factor of seeing people like you once more. For all your attributes, of strength, ability and experience, the fact still remains that I am stronger, faster, fitter and more powerful than you could ever be. That’s not someone being blasé, or discounting who you are Hudson. The simple fact of the matter is if you take those descriptions, and apply them to anyone in the world today, you’re applying them to me, because buddy boy, I’m just about as close to a ‘God’ as you are ever going to get.”
He gets back to his feet, and holds out his arms as if about to jump, just as it looks like he is going to, the camera cuts, and then comes back on again, at ground level just as Zero ‘lands’
“But Hudson, it’s not all doom and gloom for you, I’m not going to predict your demise, or threaten to send you back from whence you came. The only think I’m going to do is make an example, to all the other criminals that frequent these gatherings and our cities. I’m going to make it clear that I am not some ‘parody’ of a super hero, I’m the real thing, and not someone who was pretending to be a pirate just a few months ago. You may not become a God over the next few weeks, but there are at least some guarantees, because people are going to get misty eyed seeing you. And reminiscing over past glories. Your name will indeed sell tickets, as will all the other relics eager to claim some imaginary status, or have one last moment in the spotlight…”
A kid walks over, clearly a plant, and holds out a poster of Zero. The kids face is a picture, as he was only doing it for the free PlayStation that Zero had offered just moments before he went on air. Zero signs the poster, and then ruffles the kids hair, before sending him on his way.
“But let me leave you with this one last thought. I haven’t said that you haven’t achieved anything, because you have. I’m not saying that you can’t conjure a shock or two every now and then, because let’s face it, that would be a fools remark, and I’m no fool. I also know that old dogs know a fair few tricks, and if I wasn’t who I am, you would be perfectly capable of going all the way.”
He punches his right hand into his left palm, bringing both up so that they connect around where his heart would be.
“But my friend, when these brackets were drawn, you got the short straw. And in this first round, you will be vanquished, and your ‘God-like’ ambitions up in smoke.
So that last thought? How many failures can you take until everything you ever did means nothing? In fact, maybe you are already there?”
He brings his hands down and then in front of him, creating a diamond shape with his fingers and holding it out in front of him.
“There is only ONE God around here Hudson… and you my friend are looking at him.”
He starts to walk away from the camera, and surprisingly everyone who has amassed around him start to cheer and chant his name. We are talking balloons, bells, whistles, and the works. After all, it’s not only Sienna Swann that has close ties with Rent-A-Crowd, and if you pay someone enough, they’ll cheer. They always do.