June 9, 2019
Schoenburg Castle
Oberwesel, Germany
10:04pm
The sound of the engine starting and the shifting of the car snapped the Frost wives out of the near sleep they were in. How they had begun drifting to sleep, neither of them knew, but as they saw the vehicle moving and parts of the castle becoming farther away, it was the younger Frost, still in her wedding gown, that was speaking.
“Wait!” Deanna cried as she leaned forward towards the fenced barrier that kept the two officers in front separated from them. “What about the children? Our kids are still back there!” she implored.
A string of German words came out, none of which Selena or Deanna understood.
“Children!” Deanna tried. “Kinder!”
“Ma’am, please sit back and relax.” Came the firm tone of the officer sitting in the front beside the driver.
“Relax? You put handcuffs on-“
“Ma’am!” the tone was now more warning and threatening than the last. “I said to sit back!”
“Deanna…” the voice came from Selena, who gently pulled on her wife’s arms to drawn her back into her embrace. The redhead resisted at first but, like a calling from home, she melted into her wife’s arms. “I’m sure Gerda has them and I told Regan everything… she will make sure they are alright.”
The Snow Queen tried to sound sure and calm as she said those words but she could not stop the slight tremble in her voice. She had no reason to doubt Regan or Gerda – they both loved her children and would do anything for them. But then again, Selena had no reason to believe she would ever be at this moment in her life.
And as the car drove down the path and off the castle grounds, the platinum-blonde founder herself doubting a lot of things she once believed.
I of the Storm
“The Renewal of Vows”
- Day Four: June 6th, 2019 -
Elsianna had been found shortly after disappearing from morning breakfast. Deanna and Selena had scoured the castle grounds until they had found the young girl hiding at the old basilisk tower, on its highest floor. They hadn’t demanded an answer, nor had they punished the girl. They had just sat there with her, Selena holding her oldest daughter until the rain had stopped and then carried her back to her room. Elsa had repeated apologized to them both – as if all of this was her fault.
I’m sorry…
I’m sorry…
I’m sorry…
Her daughter’s broken voice continued to ring in Selena’s ears the rest of the day and into the night, preventing the young woman from sleeping. This was why she was outside at one in the morning, dressed in her black leggings, black running shoes, and tight, black top that left her back bare save for a few laces that tied in an X-pattern. The night sky was clear and the moonlight cast its glow along the fields and stone cobblewalks where Selena stood. Her body, meanwhile, moved like wind that blew her blonde hair back. She would throw some punches, followed by a few kicks and then, suddenly, twist her body into a backwards hand spring. There was no specific ‘pattern’ to her routine – she wouldn’t throw a certain number of punches or kicks. She was just moving – almost as if she was trying to burn herself out so she could stop thinking about how useless she felt. How was she going to fix this? How was she going to help her daughter?
Useless… she performed a backflip.
Useless! she threw a couple of strikes into the air.
Useless! Useless! Useless! Useless!!!
“You’re not useless.” The voice caught the young Frost off-guard and, on instinct, she threw her leg out with a spinning-crescent kick (years of being jumped from behind by the likes of Xander Valentine, Josh Hudson, and Sienna Swann to name a few) to the voice behind her.
Imagine the surprise on the platinum-blonde’s face when the source of that voice, without flinching, caught the leg with one hand, causing Selena to lose her balance and fall backwards onto the stones of the cobblewalk with a “Ooof!” and “Ow!” escaping her lips. Shaking her head, Selena cast her eyes up to see the toned, lithe form of her sister-in-arms, Regan Street. Like Selena, the Hellcat wore tight black leggings but also a white, baggy t-shirt. Reaching down, she offered a hand to Selena.
“Sorry.” Selena mumbled, taking the hand as she was pulled up to her feet. “I wasn’t expecting company.”
“So I gathered.” Regan nodded, reaching around to crack her shoulder and back a little. “Most people are asleep at this hour.”
Selena shrugged. “Can’t sleep.” She replied simply before moving to stretch her legs.
“Again, that’s obvious. What’s not obvious is what’s eating you.”
Selena said nothing in response, moving out of her stretch to launch herself into a cartwheel.
“See, this is what I don’t get.” Regan called after her. “Here, ya have a woman – hot as hell –“
“Thanks?” Selena shrugged.
“- with an equally attractive and, let’s face it – adorable – wife, on the cusp of getting remarried in what? Less than forty-eight hours?”
“Close-“
“And she’s on vacation in a castle – what the hell would have her so upset that she’s out here, in the cold outside-“
“I like the cold.” Selena tried to say.
“In the middle of the night?”
“Okay!” Selena’s voice rang out against the cold of the night air. “Elsa is hurting and I don’t know how to fix it to make it better.”
Before her, Selena could see Regan’s eyes widen in alarm, concern for her goddaughter evident. “What happened?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.” Selena answered sharply. “In case you haven’t noticed…” she threw a roundhouse kick to the side, away from Regan.
The Hellcat offered a moment of silence before nodding her head. “Okay.” She stated before cracking her neck a little and rolling her shoulders. “Try that on me.” She ordered.
It was Selena’s turn to have wide eyes. “What?”
“Spar with me.” Regan clarified before taking up a fighter stance.
The whole image was enough to make Selena smile. “Last time you and I fought, you smashed my head with a chair.”
Regan shrugged. “No chairs here.”
“You could use the rocks in the cobblestone.”
“Oh come on.”
“Smash my head with the potted plans over there?” teased Selena as she gestured to the heavy pots that neither she or Regan could hop to lift high enough to smash on the other.
“Either spar with me or tell me what’s wrong with Elsianna.” Regan hissed. “Your call.”
The teasing smile disappeared from Selena’s face as she gazed at her former rival. It had been there bloody fights that had regained their love and respect for one another. Hell, SCW forbade them from fighting each other ever again due to the war they waged. No one had that issue but the two of them – which only served to bring them closer together as sisters.
And Selena sure as hell did not want to talk about her failings as a mother. With a loud sigh and roll of her eyes, she adopted a similar stance as Regan. She only had a second to set herself before a stiff kick caught her in the side. She threw her arm back to block but she was still pushed a few inches to the side.
“Hmmphh.” She groaned. “So much for ‘ready, set, go”…”
“Sorry, were you not ready?” Regan teased with a smile.
“I swear to Odin, Regan, if you give me a black eye-“
A flurry of strikes suddenly rained down on her, causing Selena to silence herself in order to focus on blocking each one.
“Make sure I don’t hit you in the face then!” Regan playfully mocked as she continued her assault. “Or you can tell me what’s wrong with Elsa.”
She threw a solid roundhouse, and Selena spotted her opening, side-stepping Regan and throwing her own roundhouse above Regan’s leg to catch her in the ribs, earning an “ommph” from Regan.
“That’s one for me!” Selena stated proudly, only to be gasping for air as Regan regained her footing and socked Selena right in the solar-plexis!
“Hey!” gasped the Snow Queen. “I thought we were sparring!”
“We are.” Regan shrugged, unsure of what she did wrong. “You dropped your guard.”
“Because I scored a hit. That’s how sparring works!”
Regan’s eyes widened in sudden realization, though she played it off with a laugh. “I… thought we were playing Hellcat rules.”
“What are-“ Selena started but Regan cut her off.
“I make the rules.” Regan grinned playfully before resuming her fighter stance.
“Oh you-“
It was Selena’s turn to unleash a flurry of attacks. Unlike Regan’s, who were more playful and teasing, Selena’s were expertly calculated and fueled by her own frustration at herself. Kick, punch, spin kick, she picked each one a microsecond before launching it.
“Selena, easy!” Regan warned as she continued to block each strike.
“No!” the Snow Queen barked. “I’m not just going to play by everyone else’s rules!”
“Selena!” Regan tried again but to no avail as Selena began to kick harder.
“I’m sick of feeling useless!!” Selena growled. In her mind, Regan was gone. In her place was every person that had hurt her or her family.
Josh Hudson dropping a crate on her foot.
Xander Valentine who had endangered her wife.
Wentworth Stanton whose son had burned her daughter!!
“I AM NOT USELESS!!!” screamed the platinum-blonde as she pushed Regan back to a nearby stone rail. It was a solid stone that outlined part of the nearby garden. For Selena? It was better than any weapon. And with “I make the rules…”, words she had heard over and over from the bastard that had harmed her and her family – she just wanted it stop! Make them stop!
With a snarl, Selena broke away from Regan and leapt the two steps needed to reach the stone guard. Planting one foot at the top, she threw herself around – aiming her roundhouse kick right for the head!
“Sister!” came the scream from Regan – and it struck through the haze, through Selena’s rage and self-hatred. But before she could stop herself she felt herself being plucked from mid-air as Regan leapt up and tackled Selena to the ground! She hadn’t dodged the Defying Gravity kick – she had wanted to stop Selena’s rampage!
The two landed in a pile of limbs and grunts with the Hellcat on top, throwing Selena’s hands up and down onto the ground, pinning her with all her weight.
“STOP IT!” Regan ordered as Selena initially thrashed under her, her chest heaving up and down. But as quickly as Selena had ‘snapped’, the haze in her eyes was gone and she stared wide-eyed at the woman above her.
“Regan…” she barely whispered, as if, with the adrenaline gone, she was reliving everything that had just happened in the last few seconds – her brain catching up with the rest of her. “I’m… I almost…”
“Kicked my head off?” Regan breathed, a little winded herself. “What the hell happened?”
“I…” Selena opened her mouth to answer, her jaw quivering and her eyes suddenly stinging with unshed tears at what she almost did – another failing of hers… failing as a sister when Regan only wanted to help her. Had come out in the cold in the middle of the night just to help her. And THIS was how Selena had repaid her?
Turning her head to the side, Selena slammed her eyes shut, feeling the coldness of the cobblestone and the cool wetness of her tears being forced out. “I’m sorry…” she whispered.
A few seconds passed and she felt nothing. But then, the Snow Queen felt herself being lifted by hands under her armpits until she felt herself sitting against the cold surface of stone, her bareback feeling wonderful against it. Opening her eyes slowly, and sniffling a little, Selena turned to see Regan sitting against the wall beside her, running a hand through her hair before taking Selena’s hand in hers.
“Talk.” She ordered. “What’s going on?”
Selena simply gazed at Regan for a moment before she took a deep breath. “Elsianna is fading because of her injury.” Selena sighed. “She barely speaks, she doesn’t play with her siblings. She keeps her arms and hands in her sleeves and all it take is one person so mention her scars and she runs away.”
“Is that what happened today?” Regan asked of her goddaughter.
Selena nodded. “I don’t know how to help her anymore. She has no faith in herself. She’s terrified of fire of any kind and she’s too scared to be ring bearer.”
“But that doesn’t scare you, does it?”
Selena shook her head. “I’m afraid she’s going to spiral deeper and deeper into her pain and feeling inadequate. I’m afraid she’s going to close herself off from the rest of the world. I’m afraid…”
She couldn’t say the last part so Regan said it for her. “You’re afraid she’s going to become you – what you were before SCW…”
The tears flowed freely down Selena’s face as she nodded. Before SCW, Selena had embraced the hatred from her home in Nome, Alaska. She was “the crazy miner’s daughter”, “The Snow Queen”, a freak and unworthy of anything. She had hidden away from the world as much as she could, with her child made of snow and her alcohol – a demon that still haunted her more than she could admit. She had believed the hate and all the bullshit that had plagued her. She had believed that she was unworthy of love or praise or kindness or any happiness whatsoever, and she had been ready to drink herself into oblivion for it.
SCW had changed all that. She owed everything she was to it and the people within it. SCW had given her hope, faith, something to fight for and believe in. And through SCW, she had gained a new life, new friends, a sister and most of all, love. Yes there were hardships but compared to what she had been? Selena would rather have died than go back to that.
And here was her baby – her Elsianna – headed the same way.
“I don’t know what to do, Regan.” She held her head in her hands. “I don’t know what to do…”
Regan let her sob for a few moments – Selena needed to get this out of her system. Not just for herself but for Deanna and so a solution could be found. A few moments passed and Selena sobs quieted, her shaking stilled. With a deep breath, she lifted her torso to, once more, lay against the cold stone. The storm from yesterday had kept the surfaces moist and cool, and Selena gazed up at the stars above as she settled against it.
“What saved you?” came the question from Regan.
“Isn’t it obvious?” Selena whispered. “SCW. But that’s impossible.”
“Why?” Regan asked.
“Because Elsianna is seven.” Selena answered as if the question was beyond stupid.
“No, I mean – why is it impossible? SCW gave you something to believe. Something to value in yourself. Before the tournaments and titles, right? Remember how you once thought you weren’t worthy enough to be World Champion?”
Selena nodded her head – she had won two tournaments in a row and still, being world champion seemed beyond her. Beyond someone as ordinary as her.
“Now do you feel that way?” Regan asked.
Slowly, Selena shook her head. “No. I feel I could be a good World champion.”
“There? See?” Regan shrugged. “Elsianna just needs to believe in something enough that she overcomes her fears and her self-esteem issues.”
A scoff came from the platinum-blonde. “You make it sound so easy.”
“That’s because it is.” Chastised the Hellcat. “Just give her something worth fighting for.”
Selena raked her brain but came up with nothing. She knew her daughter. She loved fantasies and stories and wonder and magic and all of that – but fighting for something? Elsa had never had to truly do that. It was Selena that had fought the battles of her family. Hell, she was in the midst of one now…
She quickly shook her head to dispel the thoughts. This was not the time for such things. She had another day before things… happened.
“Anything?” Regan asked.
“I can’t…. no.” Selena sighed.
An irritated huff came from Regan. “I’ll give you a hint.” She stated before pointing to a nearby section of the castle.
Turning her head, Selena saw the windows lining the wall – and one was illuminated. One she recognized because she and Deanna had chosen it for its closeness to their room.
“The children’s room?” she asked.
“Betcha ten dollars there’s a little baby that can’t sleep.” Regan prided gently. “Could use her mommy.”
“Yeah.” Selena sighed, unsure of where Regan was going with this. “Thanks, Regan. And I’m sorry about…”
Regan waved her off. “Would have missed me anyway.” She said in dismissal.
With a roll of her eyes, Selena leaned in to kiss her sister’s cheek before pushing herself up and heading to the sector of the castle, using the lit window as her guide. Quietly, so as not to disturb the other guests, she made her way of the stairs until she stood outside the door of her children’s room. Gerda had insisted that she still be babysitter so the “lovebirds could frolic” – Selena wondering where that woman got her ideas for wordplay from.
Quietly, she rapped her knuckles against the door. A second passed and the door was immediately opened with Gerda standing there, a long, white nightgown covering her small frame.
“Ssssh…” she ordered before taking Selena’s hand and guiding her inside.
“What is it-“ Selena whispered. “I saw the light on outside and-“
“On the wings of the butterfly, let all your cares sleep away…
For now is the end of the day…”
The voice caused Selena to freeze on the spot, for it was a voice she knew, singing a song that was only hers and one other person. Slowly, as quietly as she could, Selena stepped around Gerda and up against the wall, leaning towards the open door where the light was coming from.
“If you close your eyes and count to ten…
You’ll hear your dreams are calling again…
Just follow the moon, for all too soon a new day will appear…
You’ll have nothing to fear…”
Leaning an inch more, Selena gazed into the small room where the crib and bed were. There, standing there in a black nightgown was her Elsianna. And in Elsianna’s arms, safe and content, was Amiliah, Selena’s youngest and Elsa’s baby sister. The baby had no doubt been crying and Elsianna was cradling her to sleep, her bare, scarred hands on full display. Still, Elsianna smiled and sang.
“For wherever you are and forever… I’ll be here.”
She lowered herself to sit on the bed, her back to Selena, who crept into the room behind her. Slowly, so as not to frighten Elsianna, Selena placed a hand on her daughter’s scarred one. She saw her daughter become ramrod stiff as she turned her head and saw the older woman.
“M-m-mother…” she stammered, unable to hide her hands because of the baby she held.
“No. no…” Selena whispered, taking her daughter’s shaking hands into her own. “You’re fine.” She smiled. “You’ve got this.”
“You…you need to take care her…”The young girl tried. “I’ll drop her if you don’t…”
“No you won’t.” Selena smiled – Regan’s words from earlier ripping in her brain with revelations. “You love her too much to let her down.”
Silence met the two as Elsa looked at her beloved sister. “Why can’t we go back to before?” she asked. “I’m…I’m weak…” she half-cried.
“No, you’re not, snowflake.” Selena stated. “Weak would be giving up when the world is against you. Weak is believing every wrong thing they say. You are not weak.”
Straightening her back a little, Selena ran a finger through her daughter’s bangs, tucking a long strand behind her ear. “I would not have trust my and your mom’s rings to someone that was weak. I would not trust Amiliah to someone that was weak.”
Elsianna’s head shot up to stare at her mother. “Ami?” she asked in concern.
“You need to be her protector, Elsa.” Selena stated. “At the renewal, she will need you more than you know. Need you to be strong. To protect her. Like I protect you and Deanna.”
“I…” then child looked down at the still sleeping baby, tears filling her own eyes. “I can’t… I’m not strong enough.”
Lifting her head, a figure caught Selena’s eyes as it stood on the nightstand. It was red and black and made Selena smile. It was Sir Crackshell, Elsianna’s beloved nutcracker – her favorite toy. The knight she believed could do anything, fight monsters with her, solve mysteries with her…
“Wait here…” Selena asked before sprinting out of the room. She ran down the stairs to the outside, spying Regan who was walking across the walkway.
“How did-“ Regan started but Selena ran right past her.
“Working on it!” she shot out as she barreled her way into her own room. The lights were off but Selena moved quickly, opening a drawer to look at socks, scarves and other items.
“Where – gotta be something here-“ her voice was barely a whisper as Deanna slept in the near bed, the moonlight assisting the Snow Queen in her search. Eventually, Selena’s fingers felt the white satin she was looking for and she pulled the two items out of the drawer before running back the way she had come, even passing Regan again on the way.
“You were right!” she shot to the Hellcat as she kept running.
“I usually am.” Came the teasing response.
Once more, the platinum-blonde was up the stairs and knocking on the door. Once more, Gerda let her in, a playful smirk on her face.
“Last time, I promise.” Selena huffed as she walked into Amiliah’s and Elsianna’s room, her daughter looking up at her as she continued to hold the little Ami – her hands still shaking.
“Here.” Selena smiled, holding out the items before her daughter. In her hand was a pair of satin – white gloves. Slowly, she sat beside Elsa as she spoke. “Do you remember when mommy spent most of January in Nome?”
Slowly, Elsa nodded her head. “You needed to be ready to win the shiny.” Elsa answered, referring to the United States Championship.
“That’s right. See Nome… There’s no place colder than that.”
“What about the Arctic?” Elsianna asked, her voice still a whisper to not awaken Amiliah.
“Debatable.” Selena answered.
“Antarctica?”
“Meh…”
“The North Pole?”
“Snowflake, if the North Pole was so cold, how would Santa, the reindeer and hundreds of elves live up there without fur coats? Hmmm?”
The child opened her mouth but then closed it when she had no answer. She was only a child after all.
“Anyway…” Selena pressed on. “I went there because I had lost my way – I doubted whether I was strong enough to face the challenge that was in front of me. I doubted myself so badly that, for a while, I thought failure was all I would know.”
“You did?” Elsianna’s eyes were wide, as if she understood how her mother was feeling.
Selena nodded. “I spent weeks in your grandfather’s cave, spending my days hiking mountain sides and facing wolves and braving the cold. And every day, I wore these gloves.” She held the thing gloves out to Elsianna. “I thought if I did, I’d capture the magic of Nome that I was looking for. And I could take that magic back to work and face my challenge head on.”
“Did you?”
Another nod came from the platinum-blonde. “I did.” She replied, recalling her January match with Bree Lancaster. “And I won.”
Elsa gasped. “Wow.” She replied, eyeing the white gloves.
“The magic was there when I needed it, snowflake.” Selena replied, placing the gloves between her and her daughter. “Now, you need it.”
The child gazed at the gloves and Selena could see the want in her eyes, breaking through amidst the fear the child felt. Slowly, Selena took sleeping Amiliah out of Elsianna’s hands and held the baby as Elsa, hands shaking, took the gloves off the bed and slipped them on. Taking a deep breath, Elsianna wiggled her fingers, her eyes watching her hands.
“I don’t feel anything.” She replied.
“Oh?” Selena asked before gently placing Amiliah back into Elsianna’s hands. “How bout now?”
Standing up to take her sister, Elsianna looked down at her hands and Ami. “Nothing.” She sighed. “Maybe they don’t work for me…”
“Then why have your hands stopped shaking, little one?” Selena asked with a smile.
Elsianna’s head jerked back down to the limbs that held Amiliah. The baby remained in her hands, asleep, but the shaking had stopped.
“It…it worked!” a bright smile lit Elsianna’s face for the first time today. Gently, she place little Ami in her crib before she rushed into her mother’s arms, hugging her tight. “Thank you, mommy!” she cried happily. “Thank you thank you thank you thank you!”
“You’re welcome.” Selena smiled, leaning down to kiss her daughter’s forehead. “Now off to bed with you.”
Happily, Elsianna crawled into her bed beside Amiliah’s crib, Selena giving Ami a kiss as well before she headed for the door. “Mommy?” came Elsa’s voice.
“Yes, my love?”
“I won’t let you or Amiliah down. I promise.”
It was Selena’s turn to smile. “I know, snowflake.” She replied as she turned off the light. “I know.”
The Snow Queen gave her good nights to Gerda before she made her way back to her room, walking this time. She didn’t say a word as she traveled. Didn’t say a word as she entered her room and changed into her sapphire blue nightgown. Didn’t say a word as she got into bed and nestled next to Deanna.
“Selena?” came the voice of the awake Deanna.
“Hmmm?” Selena hummed as she squeezed the redhead as she spooned her.
“Did I say you run in here and fly off with the white gloves for my wedding dress?”
“Yes, you did.” Selena replied simply, moving her head to kiss the nape of Deanna’s neck.
“Hmmm. Okay.” Deanna sighed. “Where are they now?”
“Needed to give them to Elsa…. Give her something to believe.”
There’s a moment of silence.
“Is she happy?”
“She called me, ‘Mommy’ again instead of mother.” Selena beamed.
She felt Deanna wiggle a little closer to her wife before the redhead muttered, “Good.”
“Told her they were magic gloves and…”
“Minx…Minx…” Deanna firmly interrupted, squeezing the hands wrapped around her. “It’s late. Our daughter is happy. That’s good enough for me. You can explain all the new rules for this in the morning.”
Selena nodded and settled further to sleep with her wife. Good enough… it was better than worthless…
Maybe, for now, good enough was…well…. Good enough.