THE FRUSTRATION
“Do you know what it’s like to have to look over your shoulder all the time? To tell anyone and everyone who will listen that your career… no… your life is in danger because a face from your past just won’t leave you alone? That bitterness and jealousy have contributed to you feeling so unsafe that you avoid contact with people for fear that you’re giving up your position?”
*sigh*
“Recently, I started receiving these letters from an ex… from my ex. This was the man who brought me into professional wrestling, a career I didn’t know I wanted until I got here. Then, like what happens so many times in the business it’s basically a cliche, he grew jealous of my popularity, so much so that he… and I can’t actually prove this so you’re going to have to take my word for it… he drugged my water before the biggest event in our shared company’s history so that I would make a spectacle of myself, prompting me from getting blacklisted. First I was absolutely humiliated. I was cited for criminal narcotics charges that were only defeated because the prosecution could never prove definitively that I had intentionally taken the drugs in question - something they couldn’t do because I didn’t. I was put through rehab for a drug addiction I didn’t have. The whole “Wild One” thing that I leaned into in the ring and in my wrestling career? It’s kind of funny, really… I haven’t had a drink since I was 18. I make a conscious effort to always be in control of my body because the last time I wasn’t, I almost lost everything.”
*sniffle*
“I did a lot of things in my early career that I’m not proud of. But I’ve grown from that. I’ve moved on. I’ve worked to give myself a new lease on life only to find the sins of my past coming out to haunt me… I don’t know why-... wait. That’s a lie. I know exactly why he’s doing what he’s doing now. This was always his dream. This was always his fantasy, to get into the wrestling business was his goal. To reach a global platform like EMERGE was his endgame. And now he’s seeing me in the position that was always designed for him when he was why I was in the business to begin with and he just can’t take it. There’s a reason why I’m not using his name, either. I don’t want him to have the press. I don’t want him to get his name out there for stalking me and mentally tormenting me and using that to get a lucrative contract offer because, quite frankly, based on the stories I’ve heard, there are people in the industry who would see those actions as a reason to hire him. I don’t want to risk one of the owners of EMERGE being one of those people and hiring him thinking there are dollar signs behind having me confront him in their ring. I don’t want to confront him in the ring. I don’t want to work with him. I don’t want to see him. I don’t want to be reminded of his name or the pain and anguish he caused me and held over my head for years.”
*head shake*
“I’m not… I’m not looking for sympathy here. I’m not looking for advice. I’m not looking to be shamed for what I did or didn’t do or told what I should or shouldn’t do. I’m also not making excuses for my lacklustre performances of late in an EMERGE ring. I just… I want to clear the air, you know? I’m not looking for extra attention, but I do want people to know that, if they’re in a similar spot to me, that it is ok to seek help. There are people who will support you, who believe in you. Give them a chance, ok?”
*half-hearted smile*
“Thank you…”
Another voice chimes in…
“You just helped a lot of people today.”
The scene rises up showing Madeline Masters sitting in front of a blank canvas. She looks towards the camera that had been recording her, nodding her head. Her hands tremble as she exhales loudly, months of pent up frustration and fear washing out of her. The scene fades…
**********
THE LIGHT
Freddie Badrock thought he was having himself a pretty good day. After obsessively stalking his ex-girlfriend, Madeline Masters, throughout North America - payback she “deserved” for becoming a bigger star than he had on the back of “his” hard work - the news that EMERGE was moving to the UK meant that her career was over. There was no way she would follow the company overseas, and he had done enough that ultimately no other company would want to risk their reputation to hire her. Basically he had ensured his position within an elite class of bullies and assholes, and felt as though he won. And so, there was a celebration in order. Having found a backwater hole to liquor himself up in, indulging in a few lines, he was on top of the world. As his night wore on, he felt as though nothing could break his spirits.
Until he got home.
As he went to his washroom, eager for the little blue pill that would make his night longer (and more pleasurable for the tattoo-laden woman he had decided to share it with), he pushed through the door, turning the light on.
“Hello, Frederick.”
Freddie staggered back against the counter, as if he had seen a ghost.
“Fucking impossible,” he blurted out. “You’re not here… you’re in…”
Madeline Masters stepped forward, striking him across the cheek, leaving a mark as a trickle of blood buds on his cheek. She was there, alright. She was real.
“I am,” she “reassured” him. “Usually when people send someone into a drug-fueled depression and try to ruin their lives, they at least have the foresight to get their locks changed.”
Madeline holds out a key in her hand, tossing it towards him. The key slid across the floor, with Freddie stepping on it to prevent her from picking it up again.
“I have waited a long time for this meeting, you know?” she confidently strides within the washroom.
“Freddie?” the woman asks from the bedroom. “Are you okay?”
“You’re fine,” Madeline says in a hushed tone, motioning her arm towards the door. Freddie nods his head.
“I… I’m fine,” he hollers out. “Just misplaced what I was looking for.”
The woman coos gleefully from the bedroom.
“So what the fuck are you doing here?” he asks, finally mustering up some courage to confront her. “Couldn’t resist another go-round?”
Freddie licks his lips as Madeline rolls her eyes. “No, Freddie,” she responds. “I don’t want to experience what you consider sex again. What? You’re going to fuck that whore for 10 minutes, get yourself off, and fall asleep so she can use one of the toys you have stowed away to finish herself off?”
“That is…” Freddie finds himself speechless. Madeline curls a smile on her lips.
“Still the same old, predictable wretch of a man,” she shakes her head. “I was young and stupid when I fell for you. Luckily, I’ve grown out of that.”
Now, Freddie laughs. “Is that what this is now? “The Light”?”
Madeline grins, bowing her head slightly. “And you claim I’m the obsessed one. Still keeping tabs on my career, are you?”
“It should be MY career,” he snaps out at her, trying to keep his tone hushed as well so as not to arouse suspicion in his aroused guest. Madeline simply nods.
“Yes, yes, I remember your jealous streak well,” she strides past him, looking herself in the mirror. “Truth be told, the reason you never made it is you were an average talent booked by an average promoter. Rosen knew you’d never make it outside of his purview, so he kept you happy, knowing that anyone else he could get his hands on could be lost to the big leagues… SCW… GCW…”
“EMERGE?” Freddie says scornfully. Madeline simply grins again.
“I know you’ve been in contact with the people in charge there, Freddie,” she says confidently, touching up her lip gloss as she keeps an eye on him behind her. “Funny enough, you probably would get along with Silas Mason pretty well. You two have a lot in common.”
“Then why haven’t they offered me a contract, huh?” Freddie asks, cynicism and skepticism simply dripping from his voice. Madeline shrugs her shoulders.
“Maybe they value the loyalty of the roster they have above the toxic reputations of “talent” they don’t,” she says, shrugging her shoulders. “Or maybe they recognize your “reference” and know how much of a bum Rosen is too. I don’t suspect a Mason and a Rosen would get along very well.”
“So he should love to poach me then!” Freddie blurts out.
“Should? Maybe…” Madeline grins. “But Michael Rosen is the only person putting in a good word for you, what is that word really worth? Especially knowing how quickly you’d burn out.”
“I would NEVER…” Freddie glares at Madeline’s reflection in his mirror. “I’m not like you.”
Madeline grins bitterly, hanging her head. “No… you’re not,” she says. “You’re not like me. I would never drug someone I say I care about to sabotage them. I would let them make their own mistakes.”
“You had that coming!” he forcefully asserts, his blood absolutely boiling. Madeline simply grins.
“Perhaps I did,” she confidently states. “After all, I was the one who was going to leave. I was the one the big leagues were looking at. I didn’t have a whole lot of training, but I had something you never did.”
“I OOZE charisma!” Freddie was already getting defensive.
“Not that,” she says, wagging a finger at him. “Potential. You hit your peak. Mine wasn’t even in view. You were never going to survive in the big waters. Me? I thrive under the pressure.”
“Pfft… “thrive”...” Freddie cynically scoffs.
“You scoff, and that is the problem,” Madeline responds in a chastising, almost condescending manner. “You were never one to be able to see the bigger picture. You only ever considered your own path. At Black Out, they taught me to see beyond myself. I have embraced that. I see more than just my own road. I see the light in the darkness cascading over not only my own company, but the industry. And it is that reason that people like me are not only going to survive, but thrive.”
“You’re going to burn out like the rest of the “lights”,” Freddie warns. Madeline, however, laughs, dismissing his derision.
“Your skepticism is noted,” she again condescends towards him. “The funny thing is, since finding myself and my way, I no longer find myself fearing what you may do. Your power over me is gone. Because NOTHING you do, no threats, no stalking, nothing at all can darken my skies! I AM the Light in the Darkness, Freddie. And you? You’re just a burnout. Have a good life. Enjoy whatever STDs you pick up tonight.”
Confidently, Madeline pushes past Freddie, leaving him speechless. For the first time in years, she was in control of herself, not looking over her shoulder as she exits. She passes through his bedroom, and the woman in his bed quickly covers up, though Madeline doesn’t pay her a second thought. Exiting his apartment, she moves towards the sidewalk, and the scene fades to white…
**********
“I want to bring you back in time to February 16, 2020. On this day, the first EMERGE-tangent podcast, “Shootin’ the Breeze”, had its first episode. Typically, I don’t pay attention to what outside media sources have to say about me, but this presented a misconception about me that I feel should be addressed. On that show, I was referred to as, and I quote…
“...a former party girl, who gave the impression that she’d let anyone in her knickers for a line of coke…now talking about some light, as if she’s God or something…”
Do you understand why I feel it important to address this? Clearly, as one of the esteemed hosts of this podcast demonstrated so eloquently, such understanding may be difficult to attain. But it does appear that my rebirth, if you will, as “The Light” has been somewhat difficult to translate for others. So I wanted to open your eyes so that you, too, may see things through my eyes, that you might gaze upon the world with the clarity that only light can bring through darkness.
For what is darkness but an absence of light? Biblically, there was darkness, and the first thing God did was cut the darkness by saying four words: “Let there be LIGHT”. So when you see groupings like the Unforgiven attempting to shape EMERGE in their dark visage, what better way to combat the darkness than to turn on a spotlight? Cut through the dark and bathe the company in light? I know this philosophy is a jarring change from when I came in, but let’s be honest here: party girls are a dime a dozen in this industry. You don’t stand out by doing the same thing everyone else does. You stand out by standing up and making yourself impossible not to see.
Well look at me now.
I have been threatened by Cindy Todd directly and yet remain standing. The day may come where The Unforgiven look to make good on her threats. The day MAY come where The Unforgiven DO make good on her threats and take me out. But if that happens, know this: I am not alone in standing up. I will not remain alone and if you strike me down… you only make me a martyr, and the next wave that comes will stand stronger… and stronger… and stronger until the darkness is overwhelmed and light is all that exists. Embracing that idea doesn’t change who I am at my core. It doesn’t make me some kind of self-styled “God”. It means that I don’t accept the status quo as it is. It means I won’t keep my head down and hope I’m not getting noticed. It means I plan on making statements.
Does that explain things to you, boys? Or do I need to come onto your show myself and explain it in simpler terms?
Beyond that, I have a date it seems. A raucous, public date with Tommy Wasley. I tell you, I don’t usually engage in ladder play in public, but here we are. And the winner of our match will be the one walking out with the EMERGE RUSH Championship. Beyond that, Wasley and I are on the same side in the battle for the soul of EMERGE. But within the confines of this match, he looks to continue his reign as RUSH Champion, and I look to put myself on the same trajectory as the likes of Jennifer Helms.
Tommy, I have nothing but respect for you. That respect, if nothing else, is going to push me harder and farther because I know what you can do and respect your ability. I will leave nothing to chance in this match. Tommy, I’m going to make you hurt. I’m going to make you respect me. And I’m going to make you believe in what I can do. Because this isn’t just about the Championship for me… becoming RUSH Champion is the cherry on top, but showing the people who doubted me before… everyone from The Unforgiven to people back home… what I can do will be the sweetest victory of all. If you believed in me before? I look to vindicate you. If you didn’t?
May Invasion shine a bright light onto your ignorance and illuminate your mind.”