06-19-2020, 06:03 AM
06-23-2020, 09:10 PM
06-23-2020, 10:53 PM
DATE: Friday, June 5, 2020
TIME: 3:51 A.M.
CITY: Colonie, New York
LOCATION: Gold Household
[I know what Sasha said. She said I can trust her and her father, especially with how well I know Mr. D. But that’s just the thing. Mr. D has been known to slip now and again in the past too. At one time or another we have all slipped to new lows. I have been through that as well, and no, I do not wish to go that route again. However slowly yet surely I’m realizing that I may not have a choice. Just one more reason for why I have had a lot of very long nights of tossing and turning, in whatever bed I have been in. Including back here at home. The number of times I have apologized to my own wife has been countless, and I have only been back for four nights. Though at this point it may as well have been 4 decades, as that’s what it feels like it has been.]
[Here I am. Up once again before 4 in the morning, in the bathroom, looking at a mirror. The gray hairs have been spreading. My face once again is flushed. I turn on the faucet to the sink and let it run for a bit before dunking my head down and splashing my face with some of the tap water, hoping it will reinvigorate me, but alas that is not so. Seeing it is not helping a towel off my face and hands and just as I finish doing so I hear a familiar female voice, but not Martha’s… instead Sarah’s.]
Sarah:
“Daddy? Are you okay?”
[I turn to the left to see her standing there, with the biggest look of worry I have ever seen from her. This is something I don’t want to see, my worries becoming her worries and Martha’s worries. SCW matters are definitely starting to take a very ill effect on our whole family. This can’t continue. It just can’t. And you know what? I’m not lying to my daughter or holding anything back. She’s old enough to hear the truth. I mean hell, she’s gotten attacked by fellow students and fought her way through that without me even being there to help her.]
Jay:
“No, unfortunately I’m not. Um Sarah, have I woken up your mother too?”
Sarah:
“I don’t think so.”
Jay:
“Okay. Let’s go downstairs. I think it’s time I opened up to you. I have always told you to come to Martha and I whenever you were in trouble and you’ve done that. It’s long my turn to come to you.”
[She speaks softly, in a mouse-like whisper that only she and I can barely hear.]
Sarah:
“Are you sure? I um… I’m scared of what you might say.”
[That makes me do a double take. I have to reset for a few moments before responding to her.]
Jay:
“Don’t be. It’s just between you and me, but if you do want to tell your mom when she wakes up, I won’t stop you. In fact I will make sure to beat you to it.”
Sarah:
“I guess…”
[I share her nervousness as I take her by the hand. We walk downstairs together as I feel my hand gripping hers a little harder and then a little harder. When we make it down to the living room she asks me something.]
Sarah:
“I’m sorry daddy, but can you please let go of my hand? It’s hurting me.”
[I didn’t mean to hurt her. I immediately let go and she plops herself down in the reclining chair, leaving me to take the couch. She turns to me and is just waiting for me to speak. Now it’s up to me to summon the courage I need to tell her everything. Much like how she has been brave at school in the past, I have to be brave for her.]
Jay:
“I’m sorry I squeezed so hard. I guess I’m just nervous. We have never had a talk like this before.”
Sarah:
“It’s okay. I forgive you. This can’t be easy for you. Um… sooo… what’s up dad?”
[It’s tough. I can see over to her eyes and they are filled with wonder. She is nervously twirling her hair, a habit I have found my wife doing sometimes, the same habit I find myself doing sometimes as well.]
Jay:
“It all happened before you were born Sarah. Your mom and I… well… we had a bit of a rough patch many, many years ago. I couldn’t talk to her or face her. It was more my fault than hers.”
Sarah:
“Oh? You aren’t thinking about breaking up with mom, are you dad?”
Jay:
“No, no, no, nothing like that. Sorry Sarah, but please listen.”
[I catch her nodding and placing a hand over her mouth. She always has had that thing for blurting things out. Like mother, like father, like daughter as far as that goes.]
Jay:
“So what happened was I went to confide in our mutual friend from college, Danielle. She immediately saw how in need I was and took me in to live with her. I know it was only meant to be a friendly gesture, but it didn’t take long for tension to mount. It didn’t take long for her to admit something to me that I didn’t see coming.”
[This gets my daughter to sit up and get to the edge of the reclining chair.]
Jay:
“She admitted she had feelings for me, strong ones. I tried to push her away, I really did, but she just wouldn’t take no for an answer.”
Sarah:
“What did you do?”
Jay:
“I eventually gave in and said I would be okay with us getting to know one another better. So we went on several dates and after those I had eased up quite a bit. She had also.”
Sarah:
“You became more than just friends, didn’t you?”
Jay:
“Yes. We found out a lot about one another, but then it happened. The night where the line got crossed, the night where I wish nothing between us had ever happened.”
Sarah:
“What happened dad?”
[Sarah has said that loud enough that it has been worried that Martha will wake up.]
Jay:
“Shh! Try not to wake mom. She already knows as I told her that one morning. I just wasn’t sure if I wanted you to hear it at the time. She needed to.”
Sarah:
“Oh. Sorry.”
[She lowers her voice back to a whisper.]
Sarah:
“What happened? What did you two do?”
[I gulp, hoping she is truly ready to hear this.]
Jay:
“We kissed. It felt good, but… but it didn’t feel right, for the obvious reason. Ever since that moment happened I have tried to forget it, but it’s clear that I just can’t. Me returning to SCW rekindled that memory, for whatever reason. I’m still trying to find inside myself why. It’s why I’m just… out of sorts. I hope you can forgive me like your mom has.”
[She gazes at me for quite a bit before I hear her.]
Sarah:
“Of course I do dad. I guess things happen. Things that we aren’t proud of. I’m really sorry for how much of a pain I was a few years ago. It was just… I never wanted to listen.”
Jay:
“Well you’re listening now. That’s what matters. Come here Sarah.”
[She comes over to me and sits next to me on the couch. I put out my hands to her and she takes them into her own.]
Jay:
“Sarah dear, I want you to promise me something.”
Sarah:
“What?”
[I’m having trouble with the words. She can see this as she looks into my eyes. I do my best to look away, but she just won’t let me.]
Sarah:
“Dad, you’re scaring me by not telling me. Please tell me. I’m a big girl now.”
Jay:
“You are. I want you to promise me that you will deal with situations responsibly, to the best of your ability. I don’t expect you to be perfect. Perfection just isn’t realistic. But please, don’t let someone else drag you down into an abyss that you might not be able to come back from. Please take it from me. As you can see, I don’t think I will be able to repair what has happened in the past, or even what is happening now.”
[I lower my head. I hate disappointing my wife and daughter, but it has become the trend.]
Sarah:
“Hey. Dad? Daddy? Please look at me.”
[I look up and into my child’s eyes.]
Sarah:
“Thank you. Thank you for telling me everything. And yes I do promise to do the best I can with whatever life throws at me. I… I know I’m still young, and I… I never thought you would talk to me like this, but… but I’m here for you dad.”
Jay:
“And I’m glad you are.”
[She looks at me and then cuddles up against me, resting her head down on my right shoulder. I allow her to do so as it is actually comforting, and something she has never done before. In fact this might be the closest I have ever been to my own daughter. I can feel that it’s soothing me, at least somewhat. Before I know it, I find myself drifting off to sleep. She does as well….]
*******
DATE: Friday, June 5, 2020
TIME: 8:15 A.M.
CITY: Colonie, New York
LOCATION: Gold Household
Martha:
“Awww. Now THIS I should take a picture of.”
[With that line both of us slowly stir to a waking status, realizing that Martha has joined us.]
Jay:
“Oh, hey, good morning.”
Sarah:
“Oh, hey, good morning? Come on dad. Here, you’ve had it really rough over the past few months. I’ll let you and mom have the morning together. I’ll make you both breakfast.”
Jay:
“Well, thanks Sarah. You don’t have to do that.”
Sarah:
“I want to. I love both my parents, so much.”
Martha:
“We love you too.”
Jay:
“That we do.”
[I give my daughter a special look that I’ve never showed to her before. She nods and smiles at me before getting off the couch. She heads for the kitchen, not even thinking about changing into daytime clothing. I get up off the couch now and Martha comes fully up to me and hugs me.]
Jay:
“You heard what our daughter said. This morning she wants us to be alone for some time.”
Martha:
“I know. I have an idea.”
[I allow my wife to lead the way upstairs, but she doesn’t stop at the second level. Instead we both ascend to the attic, unbeknownst to our daughter who has chosen to slave for us and make us a special breakfast. When we get to the top of the final staircase, Martha looks at me, with that same gleam she shows on our wedding night.]
Martha:
“There you are. I see that look in your eyes. It’s good to have you back honey. Um… here, take a seat. I will too.”
[I sit down but she doesn’t right away. Instead she slowly slips her nightshirt off over her head and tosses is carelessly aside, leaving her in a pair of white panties. She doesn’t hesitate to drop those before she speaks down towards me.]
Martha:
“Please.”
[I nod, but talk to her as I get my stuff off.]
Jay:
“I have missed you this past half year Martha, but I do need to be honest. I don’t know if this will fully help. You know I love you, but it’s just… I’m distracted by so much. So much.”
[I sit back down and she does too, right on my lap, grabbing for the obvious. The next thing I hear is the two of us softly moaning. I look into her eyes and she looks back into mine.]
Martha:
“I know. Let ME be your distraction Jay. I love you. I always have and always will, no matter what might happen. Right now, please focus on me. Please.”
[I kiss her and can feel that same spark that ignited our flame all those years ago. I shiver and can feel her shake as well. She moves in now as much as she can, so I can feel as much of her against me as possible. That gets louder moans to come from both of us. Hopefully our innocent daughter can’t hear us, though if she can, I bet she’s smiling from ear to ear.]
Martha:
“I’ve missed you too.”
[She thrusts her hips at me once and I just kiss her as deep as I can. We can both feel pleasure and I’m glad that she stays seated on my lap, at least for now. I’m dreading her getting off actually, because then I know I will have to eventually deal with all the problems that have been plaguing me since I have returned to SCW. She snaps me back to attention with another thrust that makes me moan the LOUDEST I ever have! I even tap my left hand a few times against her right side. My sign that I have given in to her. She smiles at me and softly kisses me in return before carefully getting off my lap.]
Martha:
“I love you. Always remember that.”
Jay:
“I will. I love you too. I don’t want to go back if it’s going to just bring us trouble… but I know what must be done. Thanks.”
[Martha nods before she puts her panties back on and scoops up her nightshirt. I put my underwear back on and scoop up my other belongings. We head down from the attic and back towards the bedroom, but not before I take one look back to where we were just sitting. A very happy moment in both of our lives for sure, it being a great reminder that we have been through so much and will probably go through so much more.]
[Once we are changing into our new clothes for today, Martha looks over at me and asks me.]
Martha:
“If you’re okay with it honey, what are you going to do when you go back?”
Jay:
“I will be bringing an old friend that has become a lawyer. You remember Doug Silver. Him and his fiancée are both partners in her law firm, Carter & Associates LLC.”
Martha:
“Of course I remember Doug. I didn’t know he was dating though.”
Jay:
“I didn’t either. I looked up to see what he had been doing and found out he was lawyering up in Clifton Park. I called the office a few days ago and they patched me through to him. We briefly caught up, you know when you were taking care of Sarah and I was upstairs? That was what I was doing. Both Doug and Rachel have agreed to assist me with whatever I need… really with whatever WE need.”
Martha:
“Oh, well thank both of them for me when you next speak to them.”
Jay:
“I will. Hopefully it’s not necessary, but if Sasha and SCW can’t do what they are supposed to do, I have them to call on. Especially being I know Mr. D is not around thanks to The Wonderland.”
Martha:
“What if that doesn’t even work? I’m sure it would, but what if?”
Jay:
“Then I hope you and Sarah won’t hate me. Because at that point I will really have no choice but to go to someone else on the roster that is very frustrated, possibly even more frustrated than myself… though that is debatable. He is aware too. You know who I mean.”
Martha:
“Xander…”
Jay:
“Yup. I know he doesn’t care about anyone else but himself and Artemis, but it’s one thing that the two of us can agree on. We both helped build SCW up, yet here in 2020 so many others are helping to try to set a fire to it that will burn it all to the ground. I know Xander enough to know that he would NOT want that to happen, nor do I obviously. Both of us worked hard to earn our hall of fame status, and you worked so hard and went through so much too Martha. I will be DAMNED if I watch it go down in flames! Especially due to someone that hires untrained thugs to try and do his dirty work for him. I hope to hell that Owen Cruze takes Giovanni out!”
Sarah:
“Is everything okay up there?”
[Now I am the one that has gotten too loud. We hear our daughter yelling up the staircase. I yell back, nicely as I can.]
Jay:
“Yes. Your mom and I are just talking.”
Sarah:
“Okay!”
[I turn my attention back to my wife, who has her lower half dressed. As soon as she sees me look directly at her, she purposely and teasingly wiggles her boobs at me. That’s a good distraction!]
Martha:
“I’m sure everything will happen as it is supposed to, Jay. You’ll be able to help save SCW’s future, along with those bright lights that have been shining.”
Jay:
“I hope I can help. I mean, this morning you’ve helped me as much as you can.”
Martha:
“And you’ve helped me, by being here, and obviously talking to our daughter. She needed that.”
Jay:
“I know she did. Anyways um, we should finish getting dressed and head down to see what she has in store for us, don’t you think?”
Martha:
“Mmhmm...”
[She slips on a shirt and I finish off getting dressed too. Before we leave the room we hug one another gently. I slip her a kiss before we head down the stairs for breakfast. The kitchen does smell very nice. The two of us sit down and Sarah puts two plates down in front of us, before joining us at the table with her own. The three of us all dig in and let me tell you something, I did NOT know my daughter was capable of cooking! The moment I’m done, I commend her.]
Jay:
“Wow Sarah, this was GREAT!”
Sarah:
“Thanks dad. I wanted to give the both of you something special.”
Martha:
“That’s very sweet of you Sarah. And thanks for this morning. Your daddy and I appreciate it.”
Jay:
“Very much so.”
Sarah:
“That’s excellent to hear. I’ll even clean up so you don’t have to.”
[She finishes what’s on her plate and immediately goes to taking care of the dishes. I excuse myself, telling both of them that I just have one more SCW matter that needs to be tended to… but then I would be all theirs for the entire weekend.]
*******
DATE: Friday, June 19, 2020
TIME: 7:02 P.M.
CITY: Tulsa, Oklahoma
LOCATION: BOK Center
[Normally I am not one to appear at the scheduled SCW house shows, but here I am. No I am not competing but I am here to drop Sasha the news that I do have a pair of lawyers at the ready, just as a precautionary measure, just in case she and the rest of her staff are unable to help me with the man that Giovanni Aries 100% hired. Sasha and her staff already haven’t helped her own father in the matter, so I had to err on the side of caution. Not to mention after all these years that I still don’t trust Dean Black.]
[With this on my mind I have pep in my step as I walk down the corridor, coming upon Sasha’s office for the night. I knock on the door but there is no answer. I knock again and wait a bit, still no answer. I go to turn the knob to see if it will turn and it does. Being as polite as I can I knock one last time, but with no response, I feel like I have no choice. When I walk in, I find no one in the room, so I may as well just leave my prepared notice… that I wrote those two weeks ago… with her belongings so she will see the news that she needs to be told, just in case if things go awry. I then leave her office, making sure to close the door. As I head back out of the BOK Center, not wanting to stick around for the house show, I do pass by several roster members that I know. I wave at a couple of the friendly ones and just walk past the ones that are clearly only here for themselves. The second I get outside is when I see Lexy Chapel, presumably still looking for The Dancing Bear. I just roll my eyes and move along. She does see me but can see that I am leaving. I see her then shrug before she goes about her business. I go about mine before anything bad can happen. I already have enough stuff to deal with as it is.]
[I make it to my rental car but am interrupted by a local Tulsa news reporter. At least we are in the back parking lot, with not many other vehicles back here, and no other people as of right now… thankfully.]
News Reporter:
“Hey, you’re Jay Gold. I’m from KTUL. Can I get a word with you?”
Jay:
“I guess. I do want to get out of here quickly though. The next time I want to see an SCW logo or ring is next Wednesday in Little Rock. I have a lot on my mind, which should be clearly evident.”
News Reporter:
“It is. This won’t take longer than you want it to take. In fact, I won’t even ask any questions. The floor is yours.”
[He even passes me his microphone. I look down at it for a few moments before looking towards his camera. I make sure the red light is on, as honestly the whole world needs to hear what I have to say.]
Jay:
“Where do I even begin? I’m sure all of you out there have seen the recent legal issues that have been surrounding me. All those have done is slap more of a burden on me. I have been dealing with far more important things than Giovanni Aries wanting to send me an untrained goon that he hired, just because his two faithful goons got themselves suspended. This random man that wants to sue me should have known that Giovanni was nothing but trouble. Yet clearly this man thought that The Wonderland would rake him in some dough and get him his fifteen minutes of fame.”
“Fame. I know that word. I have lived that word. Fame is an empty cup when you don’t have someone in your world that is loyal to you. Trust me dude, I know you’re out there and you’re going to hear this. Giovanni is NOT loyal. Not one bit. If he was loyal he would have made sure that Cain and Alice didn’t get suspended in the first place. If he was loyal he wouldn’t have put you and that young woman in danger by sending the two of you out to me and Kelsai. And just to think that Kelsai and I were very nice. We just took care of business and got the submission win. It could have been FAR WORSE for you. I don’t know, say if you were facing… Xander Valentine? You would have been DEAD!”
[I pause for a moment, my brain now gearing itself more towards Gavin Taylor.]
Jay:
“Just like my next opponent knows he too would be dead or in a whole lot of danger of being destroyed by Xander. The only difference between you and Gavin though is that Gavin is at least a trained athlete, even though he may not act like it most of the time.”
“Speaking of Gavin Taylor, that is where my focus truly needs to be turned. Even though I have attorney back-up on notice, this will give Sasha one last chance to make things right, before I file a countersuit against you… and possibly against SCW. So Sasha, this is to you, take care of the situation before I have to. Meanwhile I’ll be taking care of you Gavin.”
[I can’t help it but to sneer right at the camera. I turn away for a moment but turn right back. Seriously I’m just in a really miffed state. Even the time away and back home didn’t fully help. But I do have rightful reason to be acting the way I am. At least everyone that loves me or cares for me will truly understand, even I’m saying things that aren’t very popular.]
Jay:
“Gavin, last time around you used an underhanded trick to get a victory against me, and you know what? It took a while, but I came to realize, that’s alright, because guess what came from it for you? Oh that’s right. You STILL haven’t won a championship, have you? You are so desperate to hold a championship belt that you had to go and dig up the previously burned old XIC Championship that Mono Loco and I created, due to our contrasting styles at the time… and James Toreno destroyed some time later.”
“Honestly it’s pathetic. Anyone that needs to hold an irrelevant championship belt just to make themselves feel good has a whole lot of soul searching to do. I mean for someone that said the past doesn’t matter anymore and that it’s all about the future and all about the All-Star, you sure have done a lot of digging into the past. Liana Lewis searching… “resurrecting” the defunct XIC Title… What’s next Gavin? Are you going to go find Greg Cherry, bring him back, and demand to Sasha that I face him in a Thunderdome Match? Wait, I can top that. Will you go try and locate Mr. Showtime? What part of Jay Gold’s SCW history will you roll out with next?”
“No matter what you try to do this time around Gavin, I will say this. I won’t make the same mistake as last time. I am NOT going to give you an opening like that again. You will have to win this match between us fair and square. Then we will be done. One of us is going to get one step closer to the SCW United States Championship, which I have not yet held, being it was only just coming into existence when I left. For me though, Wednesday night Gavin, I won’t be thinking about that championship. Why not? Because this is only the first round of the tournament. You are probably already creating your commercials and gimmicks and new United States Champion clothing line, or at least brainstorming ideas to yourself as to how the All-Star can be best marketed if your wet dream of becoming the United States Champion comes true. That is where your focus most likely is. Prove me wrong on that Gavin and I will take that back.”
[I pause, but make this pause very brief.]
Jay:
“But make no mistake about where my focus will be. You have my undivided attention Gavin, just like I got yours after our first meeting. This one truly is the tiebreaker and I want this one DESPERATELY! I have too much bad shit going on. I NEED something good to happen. If you lose Wednesday night? You’ll live. If I lose Wednesday night? I don’t know. I just don’t.”
[I take a step towards the cameraman, but take it back. I feel like hurting someone, but in this very moment I can hear both of them in my head, both with their sweetest possible voices.]
Sarah:
“Dad, no! Please, remember what we talked about.”
Martha:
“Jay, honey, focus. It will all work out in the end.”
[They’re right. I need to keep it together. If not for myself, for them. I need to look forward and not move back to what has happened…
[I look to the cameraman for a brief second. He looks a bit unsure of himself but continues filming me. I take another look down at his microphone that I am still holding.]
Jay:
“What I do know right now Gavin is you clearly do not understand the gravity of the situation. We all know that you are all just about yourself. You would ditch women like Ava St. Claire and Aubrianna Powers in a heartbeat if it meant putting yourself over. That being said, you are NOT someone the United States needs as its champion right now. If you haven’t noticed the United States has been completely in shambles, first with COVID-19 and more recently the wrongful death of George Floyd. You however are being typical Gavin Taylor. You still want to make everything about you. You clearly don’t care about the United States, you don’t care about the people, you don’t care about the amber waves of grain, and you don’t care about being an SCW United States Champion that the people can actually be proud of. You only care about you. That is where we are polar opposites Gavin. I DO care for others. I DO care about the nation I am from and live in. From what has been happening around us Gavin, people have been getting sick, people have been dying, people have been getting injured in peaceful protests gone wrong. And now you… YOU… just sit there stating about how YOU are what the people of the United States needs as their champion? You are sitting there saying how you will move the United States forward while I will move it backward?”
“You’re full of yourself. If you haven’t been listening to me since the minute I came back on New Year’s Eve. I want to help move SCW FORWARD, not back. I’m different from Matt Hodges. He came back in hopes of reclaiming his former glory, but now his in-ring future is uncertain. I am not like him. I am not like you. I may be of yesteryear but Wednesday night you and the rest of the locker room and even the rest of the world will see what my intentions are. Unlike you, I’m not focused on the United States Championship. Not yet. I am taking this tournament one match at a time and you’re the first one up. Honestly I don’t care if Bree chose you to possibly be her replacement or if you were just inserted in. I highly doubt she picked me to be in this tournament. Sasha likely inserted me to take my mind off the wrongful lawsuit that will be squashed one way or another. Regardless of all of the above Gavin, I’m going to knock you off this perch that you have put yourself on. What comes after that? I don’t know. I guess I, along with everybody else, will have to live each moment as it happens, no matter if that moment is good for us or bad.”
[I walk over to the cameraman and hand him back his microphone as I am finished. Quickly I walk back to my rental car, focused on moving to what must be done in order for me to move forward, away from all my troubles. My focus next is to try and do what has recently been impossible, a quiet, sound night of sleep. After that is tomorrow. Then the day after that. Then the day after that. And hopefully one of these days things will turn for the better. Not just for me and my family, but for the entire country, and for the entire world. We all have endured so much in the past few months, and well, contrary to where Gavin Taylor’s head is at… I actually care. Breakdown will show that.]
TIME: 3:51 A.M.
CITY: Colonie, New York
LOCATION: Gold Household
[I know what Sasha said. She said I can trust her and her father, especially with how well I know Mr. D. But that’s just the thing. Mr. D has been known to slip now and again in the past too. At one time or another we have all slipped to new lows. I have been through that as well, and no, I do not wish to go that route again. However slowly yet surely I’m realizing that I may not have a choice. Just one more reason for why I have had a lot of very long nights of tossing and turning, in whatever bed I have been in. Including back here at home. The number of times I have apologized to my own wife has been countless, and I have only been back for four nights. Though at this point it may as well have been 4 decades, as that’s what it feels like it has been.]
[Here I am. Up once again before 4 in the morning, in the bathroom, looking at a mirror. The gray hairs have been spreading. My face once again is flushed. I turn on the faucet to the sink and let it run for a bit before dunking my head down and splashing my face with some of the tap water, hoping it will reinvigorate me, but alas that is not so. Seeing it is not helping a towel off my face and hands and just as I finish doing so I hear a familiar female voice, but not Martha’s… instead Sarah’s.]
Sarah:
“Daddy? Are you okay?”
[I turn to the left to see her standing there, with the biggest look of worry I have ever seen from her. This is something I don’t want to see, my worries becoming her worries and Martha’s worries. SCW matters are definitely starting to take a very ill effect on our whole family. This can’t continue. It just can’t. And you know what? I’m not lying to my daughter or holding anything back. She’s old enough to hear the truth. I mean hell, she’s gotten attacked by fellow students and fought her way through that without me even being there to help her.]
Jay:
“No, unfortunately I’m not. Um Sarah, have I woken up your mother too?”
Sarah:
“I don’t think so.”
Jay:
“Okay. Let’s go downstairs. I think it’s time I opened up to you. I have always told you to come to Martha and I whenever you were in trouble and you’ve done that. It’s long my turn to come to you.”
[She speaks softly, in a mouse-like whisper that only she and I can barely hear.]
Sarah:
“Are you sure? I um… I’m scared of what you might say.”
[That makes me do a double take. I have to reset for a few moments before responding to her.]
Jay:
“Don’t be. It’s just between you and me, but if you do want to tell your mom when she wakes up, I won’t stop you. In fact I will make sure to beat you to it.”
Sarah:
“I guess…”
[I share her nervousness as I take her by the hand. We walk downstairs together as I feel my hand gripping hers a little harder and then a little harder. When we make it down to the living room she asks me something.]
Sarah:
“I’m sorry daddy, but can you please let go of my hand? It’s hurting me.”
[I didn’t mean to hurt her. I immediately let go and she plops herself down in the reclining chair, leaving me to take the couch. She turns to me and is just waiting for me to speak. Now it’s up to me to summon the courage I need to tell her everything. Much like how she has been brave at school in the past, I have to be brave for her.]
Jay:
“I’m sorry I squeezed so hard. I guess I’m just nervous. We have never had a talk like this before.”
Sarah:
“It’s okay. I forgive you. This can’t be easy for you. Um… sooo… what’s up dad?”
[It’s tough. I can see over to her eyes and they are filled with wonder. She is nervously twirling her hair, a habit I have found my wife doing sometimes, the same habit I find myself doing sometimes as well.]
Jay:
“It all happened before you were born Sarah. Your mom and I… well… we had a bit of a rough patch many, many years ago. I couldn’t talk to her or face her. It was more my fault than hers.”
Sarah:
“Oh? You aren’t thinking about breaking up with mom, are you dad?”
Jay:
“No, no, no, nothing like that. Sorry Sarah, but please listen.”
[I catch her nodding and placing a hand over her mouth. She always has had that thing for blurting things out. Like mother, like father, like daughter as far as that goes.]
Jay:
“So what happened was I went to confide in our mutual friend from college, Danielle. She immediately saw how in need I was and took me in to live with her. I know it was only meant to be a friendly gesture, but it didn’t take long for tension to mount. It didn’t take long for her to admit something to me that I didn’t see coming.”
[This gets my daughter to sit up and get to the edge of the reclining chair.]
Jay:
“She admitted she had feelings for me, strong ones. I tried to push her away, I really did, but she just wouldn’t take no for an answer.”
Sarah:
“What did you do?”
Jay:
“I eventually gave in and said I would be okay with us getting to know one another better. So we went on several dates and after those I had eased up quite a bit. She had also.”
Sarah:
“You became more than just friends, didn’t you?”
Jay:
“Yes. We found out a lot about one another, but then it happened. The night where the line got crossed, the night where I wish nothing between us had ever happened.”
Sarah:
“What happened dad?”
[Sarah has said that loud enough that it has been worried that Martha will wake up.]
Jay:
“Shh! Try not to wake mom. She already knows as I told her that one morning. I just wasn’t sure if I wanted you to hear it at the time. She needed to.”
Sarah:
“Oh. Sorry.”
[She lowers her voice back to a whisper.]
Sarah:
“What happened? What did you two do?”
[I gulp, hoping she is truly ready to hear this.]
Jay:
“We kissed. It felt good, but… but it didn’t feel right, for the obvious reason. Ever since that moment happened I have tried to forget it, but it’s clear that I just can’t. Me returning to SCW rekindled that memory, for whatever reason. I’m still trying to find inside myself why. It’s why I’m just… out of sorts. I hope you can forgive me like your mom has.”
[She gazes at me for quite a bit before I hear her.]
Sarah:
“Of course I do dad. I guess things happen. Things that we aren’t proud of. I’m really sorry for how much of a pain I was a few years ago. It was just… I never wanted to listen.”
Jay:
“Well you’re listening now. That’s what matters. Come here Sarah.”
[She comes over to me and sits next to me on the couch. I put out my hands to her and she takes them into her own.]
Jay:
“Sarah dear, I want you to promise me something.”
Sarah:
“What?”
[I’m having trouble with the words. She can see this as she looks into my eyes. I do my best to look away, but she just won’t let me.]
Sarah:
“Dad, you’re scaring me by not telling me. Please tell me. I’m a big girl now.”
Jay:
“You are. I want you to promise me that you will deal with situations responsibly, to the best of your ability. I don’t expect you to be perfect. Perfection just isn’t realistic. But please, don’t let someone else drag you down into an abyss that you might not be able to come back from. Please take it from me. As you can see, I don’t think I will be able to repair what has happened in the past, or even what is happening now.”
[I lower my head. I hate disappointing my wife and daughter, but it has become the trend.]
Sarah:
“Hey. Dad? Daddy? Please look at me.”
[I look up and into my child’s eyes.]
Sarah:
“Thank you. Thank you for telling me everything. And yes I do promise to do the best I can with whatever life throws at me. I… I know I’m still young, and I… I never thought you would talk to me like this, but… but I’m here for you dad.”
Jay:
“And I’m glad you are.”
[She looks at me and then cuddles up against me, resting her head down on my right shoulder. I allow her to do so as it is actually comforting, and something she has never done before. In fact this might be the closest I have ever been to my own daughter. I can feel that it’s soothing me, at least somewhat. Before I know it, I find myself drifting off to sleep. She does as well….]
*******
DATE: Friday, June 5, 2020
TIME: 8:15 A.M.
CITY: Colonie, New York
LOCATION: Gold Household
Martha:
“Awww. Now THIS I should take a picture of.”
[With that line both of us slowly stir to a waking status, realizing that Martha has joined us.]
Jay:
“Oh, hey, good morning.”
Sarah:
“Oh, hey, good morning? Come on dad. Here, you’ve had it really rough over the past few months. I’ll let you and mom have the morning together. I’ll make you both breakfast.”
Jay:
“Well, thanks Sarah. You don’t have to do that.”
Sarah:
“I want to. I love both my parents, so much.”
Martha:
“We love you too.”
Jay:
“That we do.”
[I give my daughter a special look that I’ve never showed to her before. She nods and smiles at me before getting off the couch. She heads for the kitchen, not even thinking about changing into daytime clothing. I get up off the couch now and Martha comes fully up to me and hugs me.]
Jay:
“You heard what our daughter said. This morning she wants us to be alone for some time.”
Martha:
“I know. I have an idea.”
[I allow my wife to lead the way upstairs, but she doesn’t stop at the second level. Instead we both ascend to the attic, unbeknownst to our daughter who has chosen to slave for us and make us a special breakfast. When we get to the top of the final staircase, Martha looks at me, with that same gleam she shows on our wedding night.]
Martha:
“There you are. I see that look in your eyes. It’s good to have you back honey. Um… here, take a seat. I will too.”
[I sit down but she doesn’t right away. Instead she slowly slips her nightshirt off over her head and tosses is carelessly aside, leaving her in a pair of white panties. She doesn’t hesitate to drop those before she speaks down towards me.]
Martha:
“Please.”
[I nod, but talk to her as I get my stuff off.]
Jay:
“I have missed you this past half year Martha, but I do need to be honest. I don’t know if this will fully help. You know I love you, but it’s just… I’m distracted by so much. So much.”
[I sit back down and she does too, right on my lap, grabbing for the obvious. The next thing I hear is the two of us softly moaning. I look into her eyes and she looks back into mine.]
Martha:
“I know. Let ME be your distraction Jay. I love you. I always have and always will, no matter what might happen. Right now, please focus on me. Please.”
[I kiss her and can feel that same spark that ignited our flame all those years ago. I shiver and can feel her shake as well. She moves in now as much as she can, so I can feel as much of her against me as possible. That gets louder moans to come from both of us. Hopefully our innocent daughter can’t hear us, though if she can, I bet she’s smiling from ear to ear.]
Martha:
“I’ve missed you too.”
[She thrusts her hips at me once and I just kiss her as deep as I can. We can both feel pleasure and I’m glad that she stays seated on my lap, at least for now. I’m dreading her getting off actually, because then I know I will have to eventually deal with all the problems that have been plaguing me since I have returned to SCW. She snaps me back to attention with another thrust that makes me moan the LOUDEST I ever have! I even tap my left hand a few times against her right side. My sign that I have given in to her. She smiles at me and softly kisses me in return before carefully getting off my lap.]
Martha:
“I love you. Always remember that.”
Jay:
“I will. I love you too. I don’t want to go back if it’s going to just bring us trouble… but I know what must be done. Thanks.”
[Martha nods before she puts her panties back on and scoops up her nightshirt. I put my underwear back on and scoop up my other belongings. We head down from the attic and back towards the bedroom, but not before I take one look back to where we were just sitting. A very happy moment in both of our lives for sure, it being a great reminder that we have been through so much and will probably go through so much more.]
[Once we are changing into our new clothes for today, Martha looks over at me and asks me.]
Martha:
“If you’re okay with it honey, what are you going to do when you go back?”
Jay:
“I will be bringing an old friend that has become a lawyer. You remember Doug Silver. Him and his fiancée are both partners in her law firm, Carter & Associates LLC.”
Martha:
“Of course I remember Doug. I didn’t know he was dating though.”
Jay:
“I didn’t either. I looked up to see what he had been doing and found out he was lawyering up in Clifton Park. I called the office a few days ago and they patched me through to him. We briefly caught up, you know when you were taking care of Sarah and I was upstairs? That was what I was doing. Both Doug and Rachel have agreed to assist me with whatever I need… really with whatever WE need.”
Martha:
“Oh, well thank both of them for me when you next speak to them.”
Jay:
“I will. Hopefully it’s not necessary, but if Sasha and SCW can’t do what they are supposed to do, I have them to call on. Especially being I know Mr. D is not around thanks to The Wonderland.”
Martha:
“What if that doesn’t even work? I’m sure it would, but what if?”
Jay:
“Then I hope you and Sarah won’t hate me. Because at that point I will really have no choice but to go to someone else on the roster that is very frustrated, possibly even more frustrated than myself… though that is debatable. He is aware too. You know who I mean.”
Martha:
“Xander…”
Jay:
“Yup. I know he doesn’t care about anyone else but himself and Artemis, but it’s one thing that the two of us can agree on. We both helped build SCW up, yet here in 2020 so many others are helping to try to set a fire to it that will burn it all to the ground. I know Xander enough to know that he would NOT want that to happen, nor do I obviously. Both of us worked hard to earn our hall of fame status, and you worked so hard and went through so much too Martha. I will be DAMNED if I watch it go down in flames! Especially due to someone that hires untrained thugs to try and do his dirty work for him. I hope to hell that Owen Cruze takes Giovanni out!”
Sarah:
“Is everything okay up there?”
[Now I am the one that has gotten too loud. We hear our daughter yelling up the staircase. I yell back, nicely as I can.]
Jay:
“Yes. Your mom and I are just talking.”
Sarah:
“Okay!”
[I turn my attention back to my wife, who has her lower half dressed. As soon as she sees me look directly at her, she purposely and teasingly wiggles her boobs at me. That’s a good distraction!]
Martha:
“I’m sure everything will happen as it is supposed to, Jay. You’ll be able to help save SCW’s future, along with those bright lights that have been shining.”
Jay:
“I hope I can help. I mean, this morning you’ve helped me as much as you can.”
Martha:
“And you’ve helped me, by being here, and obviously talking to our daughter. She needed that.”
Jay:
“I know she did. Anyways um, we should finish getting dressed and head down to see what she has in store for us, don’t you think?”
Martha:
“Mmhmm...”
[She slips on a shirt and I finish off getting dressed too. Before we leave the room we hug one another gently. I slip her a kiss before we head down the stairs for breakfast. The kitchen does smell very nice. The two of us sit down and Sarah puts two plates down in front of us, before joining us at the table with her own. The three of us all dig in and let me tell you something, I did NOT know my daughter was capable of cooking! The moment I’m done, I commend her.]
Jay:
“Wow Sarah, this was GREAT!”
Sarah:
“Thanks dad. I wanted to give the both of you something special.”
Martha:
“That’s very sweet of you Sarah. And thanks for this morning. Your daddy and I appreciate it.”
Jay:
“Very much so.”
Sarah:
“That’s excellent to hear. I’ll even clean up so you don’t have to.”
[She finishes what’s on her plate and immediately goes to taking care of the dishes. I excuse myself, telling both of them that I just have one more SCW matter that needs to be tended to… but then I would be all theirs for the entire weekend.]
*******
DATE: Friday, June 19, 2020
TIME: 7:02 P.M.
CITY: Tulsa, Oklahoma
LOCATION: BOK Center
[Normally I am not one to appear at the scheduled SCW house shows, but here I am. No I am not competing but I am here to drop Sasha the news that I do have a pair of lawyers at the ready, just as a precautionary measure, just in case she and the rest of her staff are unable to help me with the man that Giovanni Aries 100% hired. Sasha and her staff already haven’t helped her own father in the matter, so I had to err on the side of caution. Not to mention after all these years that I still don’t trust Dean Black.]
[With this on my mind I have pep in my step as I walk down the corridor, coming upon Sasha’s office for the night. I knock on the door but there is no answer. I knock again and wait a bit, still no answer. I go to turn the knob to see if it will turn and it does. Being as polite as I can I knock one last time, but with no response, I feel like I have no choice. When I walk in, I find no one in the room, so I may as well just leave my prepared notice… that I wrote those two weeks ago… with her belongings so she will see the news that she needs to be told, just in case if things go awry. I then leave her office, making sure to close the door. As I head back out of the BOK Center, not wanting to stick around for the house show, I do pass by several roster members that I know. I wave at a couple of the friendly ones and just walk past the ones that are clearly only here for themselves. The second I get outside is when I see Lexy Chapel, presumably still looking for The Dancing Bear. I just roll my eyes and move along. She does see me but can see that I am leaving. I see her then shrug before she goes about her business. I go about mine before anything bad can happen. I already have enough stuff to deal with as it is.]
[I make it to my rental car but am interrupted by a local Tulsa news reporter. At least we are in the back parking lot, with not many other vehicles back here, and no other people as of right now… thankfully.]
News Reporter:
“Hey, you’re Jay Gold. I’m from KTUL. Can I get a word with you?”
Jay:
“I guess. I do want to get out of here quickly though. The next time I want to see an SCW logo or ring is next Wednesday in Little Rock. I have a lot on my mind, which should be clearly evident.”
News Reporter:
“It is. This won’t take longer than you want it to take. In fact, I won’t even ask any questions. The floor is yours.”
[He even passes me his microphone. I look down at it for a few moments before looking towards his camera. I make sure the red light is on, as honestly the whole world needs to hear what I have to say.]
Jay:
“Where do I even begin? I’m sure all of you out there have seen the recent legal issues that have been surrounding me. All those have done is slap more of a burden on me. I have been dealing with far more important things than Giovanni Aries wanting to send me an untrained goon that he hired, just because his two faithful goons got themselves suspended. This random man that wants to sue me should have known that Giovanni was nothing but trouble. Yet clearly this man thought that The Wonderland would rake him in some dough and get him his fifteen minutes of fame.”
“Fame. I know that word. I have lived that word. Fame is an empty cup when you don’t have someone in your world that is loyal to you. Trust me dude, I know you’re out there and you’re going to hear this. Giovanni is NOT loyal. Not one bit. If he was loyal he would have made sure that Cain and Alice didn’t get suspended in the first place. If he was loyal he wouldn’t have put you and that young woman in danger by sending the two of you out to me and Kelsai. And just to think that Kelsai and I were very nice. We just took care of business and got the submission win. It could have been FAR WORSE for you. I don’t know, say if you were facing… Xander Valentine? You would have been DEAD!”
[I pause for a moment, my brain now gearing itself more towards Gavin Taylor.]
Jay:
“Just like my next opponent knows he too would be dead or in a whole lot of danger of being destroyed by Xander. The only difference between you and Gavin though is that Gavin is at least a trained athlete, even though he may not act like it most of the time.”
“Speaking of Gavin Taylor, that is where my focus truly needs to be turned. Even though I have attorney back-up on notice, this will give Sasha one last chance to make things right, before I file a countersuit against you… and possibly against SCW. So Sasha, this is to you, take care of the situation before I have to. Meanwhile I’ll be taking care of you Gavin.”
[I can’t help it but to sneer right at the camera. I turn away for a moment but turn right back. Seriously I’m just in a really miffed state. Even the time away and back home didn’t fully help. But I do have rightful reason to be acting the way I am. At least everyone that loves me or cares for me will truly understand, even I’m saying things that aren’t very popular.]
Jay:
“Gavin, last time around you used an underhanded trick to get a victory against me, and you know what? It took a while, but I came to realize, that’s alright, because guess what came from it for you? Oh that’s right. You STILL haven’t won a championship, have you? You are so desperate to hold a championship belt that you had to go and dig up the previously burned old XIC Championship that Mono Loco and I created, due to our contrasting styles at the time… and James Toreno destroyed some time later.”
“Honestly it’s pathetic. Anyone that needs to hold an irrelevant championship belt just to make themselves feel good has a whole lot of soul searching to do. I mean for someone that said the past doesn’t matter anymore and that it’s all about the future and all about the All-Star, you sure have done a lot of digging into the past. Liana Lewis searching… “resurrecting” the defunct XIC Title… What’s next Gavin? Are you going to go find Greg Cherry, bring him back, and demand to Sasha that I face him in a Thunderdome Match? Wait, I can top that. Will you go try and locate Mr. Showtime? What part of Jay Gold’s SCW history will you roll out with next?”
“No matter what you try to do this time around Gavin, I will say this. I won’t make the same mistake as last time. I am NOT going to give you an opening like that again. You will have to win this match between us fair and square. Then we will be done. One of us is going to get one step closer to the SCW United States Championship, which I have not yet held, being it was only just coming into existence when I left. For me though, Wednesday night Gavin, I won’t be thinking about that championship. Why not? Because this is only the first round of the tournament. You are probably already creating your commercials and gimmicks and new United States Champion clothing line, or at least brainstorming ideas to yourself as to how the All-Star can be best marketed if your wet dream of becoming the United States Champion comes true. That is where your focus most likely is. Prove me wrong on that Gavin and I will take that back.”
[I pause, but make this pause very brief.]
Jay:
“But make no mistake about where my focus will be. You have my undivided attention Gavin, just like I got yours after our first meeting. This one truly is the tiebreaker and I want this one DESPERATELY! I have too much bad shit going on. I NEED something good to happen. If you lose Wednesday night? You’ll live. If I lose Wednesday night? I don’t know. I just don’t.”
[I take a step towards the cameraman, but take it back. I feel like hurting someone, but in this very moment I can hear both of them in my head, both with their sweetest possible voices.]
Sarah:
“Dad, no! Please, remember what we talked about.”
Martha:
“Jay, honey, focus. It will all work out in the end.”
[They’re right. I need to keep it together. If not for myself, for them. I need to look forward and not move back to what has happened…
[I look to the cameraman for a brief second. He looks a bit unsure of himself but continues filming me. I take another look down at his microphone that I am still holding.]
Jay:
“What I do know right now Gavin is you clearly do not understand the gravity of the situation. We all know that you are all just about yourself. You would ditch women like Ava St. Claire and Aubrianna Powers in a heartbeat if it meant putting yourself over. That being said, you are NOT someone the United States needs as its champion right now. If you haven’t noticed the United States has been completely in shambles, first with COVID-19 and more recently the wrongful death of George Floyd. You however are being typical Gavin Taylor. You still want to make everything about you. You clearly don’t care about the United States, you don’t care about the people, you don’t care about the amber waves of grain, and you don’t care about being an SCW United States Champion that the people can actually be proud of. You only care about you. That is where we are polar opposites Gavin. I DO care for others. I DO care about the nation I am from and live in. From what has been happening around us Gavin, people have been getting sick, people have been dying, people have been getting injured in peaceful protests gone wrong. And now you… YOU… just sit there stating about how YOU are what the people of the United States needs as their champion? You are sitting there saying how you will move the United States forward while I will move it backward?”
“You’re full of yourself. If you haven’t been listening to me since the minute I came back on New Year’s Eve. I want to help move SCW FORWARD, not back. I’m different from Matt Hodges. He came back in hopes of reclaiming his former glory, but now his in-ring future is uncertain. I am not like him. I am not like you. I may be of yesteryear but Wednesday night you and the rest of the locker room and even the rest of the world will see what my intentions are. Unlike you, I’m not focused on the United States Championship. Not yet. I am taking this tournament one match at a time and you’re the first one up. Honestly I don’t care if Bree chose you to possibly be her replacement or if you were just inserted in. I highly doubt she picked me to be in this tournament. Sasha likely inserted me to take my mind off the wrongful lawsuit that will be squashed one way or another. Regardless of all of the above Gavin, I’m going to knock you off this perch that you have put yourself on. What comes after that? I don’t know. I guess I, along with everybody else, will have to live each moment as it happens, no matter if that moment is good for us or bad.”
[I walk over to the cameraman and hand him back his microphone as I am finished. Quickly I walk back to my rental car, focused on moving to what must be done in order for me to move forward, away from all my troubles. My focus next is to try and do what has recently been impossible, a quiet, sound night of sleep. After that is tomorrow. Then the day after that. Then the day after that. And hopefully one of these days things will turn for the better. Not just for me and my family, but for the entire country, and for the entire world. We all have endured so much in the past few months, and well, contrary to where Gavin Taylor’s head is at… I actually care. Breakdown will show that.]