02-06-2021, 02:32 PM
02-09-2021, 05:21 PM
After months of complaining, accusations, and “lawsuits”, The Silent Majority finally got what they wanted - the SCW Television Title, errr, “Championship of Television”, around the waist of Ricky James. No one can say the title wasn’t earned; after impressive showings in prior weeks, Ricky James was selected to be part of a four person tournament to determine a new television champion. Ricky went ahead and capitalized on this opportunity, impressively defeating Hall of Famer Tommy Valentine and former TV Champ Kelsai Adamson-Mason en route to capturing his coveted Championship of Television.
Most wrestlers in Ricky’s situation would point to their athletic superiority or other in-ring performances and credit their success to that. Ricky James is clearly an impressive athlete and has shown us all what he can do in the ring. The Silent Majority won’t focus on that, though. Yes they’ll mention Ricky “easily defeating” his opponents, but their focus will be more on their out-of-the-ring antics. It’s inconceivable that Sasha is impartial and actually rewards Ricky for his performances accordingly. There has to be a conspiracy. Somehow, someway, The Silent Majority’s consistent spreading of lies and their phony team of lawyers are to credit for Ricky James’ success.
Does Ricky have any pride and self respect? Sure. We know deep down he has faith in his ability in the ring. He will acknowledge he is a superior athlete. But to whom does he owe his success? Ricky has no problem saying it’s a result of the “work” Lucy Huckabee Sanders does for him. Ricky is infatuated with Lucy and has been since she aided in Ricky getting US Citizenship. Despite Lucy not sharing the same feelings for him, Ricky continues to blindly follow Lucy. As he continues to have success, her hold on him grows tighter and tighter.
We saw this control reach another level when Lucy forbade Ricky from speaking with his neighbor, Joe, who has had the second most influence on Ricky since he arrived in the United States. It took a lot for Ricky to begin avoiding a man he sees as a father figure, but Lucy Huckabee Sanders was persuasive enough. Now that Ricky has SCW gold, it seems unlikely he will ever try to reach out to Joe again, as long as LHS continues to control Ricky.
While Lucy takes no responsibility for Ricky’s losses, she of course takes full credit for his victories, and basks in them accordingly. So too does the clown circus that is associated with The Silent Majority, as we take you back to the immediate aftermath of the TV title match at Last Grasp of Reality.
January 24th, 2021
Ball Arena
Denver, Colorado
Sitting in a chair in The Silent Majority’s dressing room, Lucy Huckabee Sanders has a massive smile on her face as she texts up a storm. Rudy Powell, TSM’s Canadian legal counsel, is for some reason in the dressing room as well. Rudy holds Ricky’s newly won SCW TV Title and has a grin on his face.
RP: We did it, Lucy! Look at this. The SCW Television Championship.
Rudy looks up at Lucy, who completely ignores him and continues to text. Mr. Powell awkwardly laughs and looks around the room.
RP: Yup. We finally did it….
Lucy continues to ignore Rudy. Mr. Powell, desperate for attention, begins to whistle, which immediately irritates Lucy, who finally looks up from her phone.
LHS: Oh sorry, I forgot you were here.
Rudy Powell awkwardly laughs again.
RP: That’s the beauty of it, Lucy. I’m always here for you and you don’t even know it! You don’t have to worry. Like I said, I’ll take care of everything for you guys and we will all reap the benefits of this relationship.
LHS: Uh huh…
Lucy rolls her eyes as she turns her attention back to her phone. Rudy once again awkwardly laughs as he looks back at the TV Title as if it were his own. He takes out a handkerchief to wipe sweat off his brow. Ricky James then emerges from the bathroom, having just showered and changed after his big victory. He notices Rudy on the couch and then turns to Lucy.
Ricky: Uh, Luce?
Lucy answers while keeping her eyes on her phone.
LHS: Yeah Ric….
Ricky: What is he doing here?
Rudy Powell chuckles again.
RP: Ricky, I’m always here for you. Just like I told Lucy. She hired me to do a job.
Ricky: And what is that exactly? I thought you were our legal representation for Canada?
RP: I’m much more than that, Ricky.
Rudy laughs again as he looks back down at the title. Ricky looks at Rudy perplexed. Rudy begins dripping sweat again, and Ricky watches as a drop rolls off his forehead, launches off his nose, and drips down onto the title. This infuriates Ricky, who quickly grabs the title away from Rudy.
Ricky: What the hell’s the matter with you? Why are you sweating so much?
Ricky turns to Lucy.
Ricky: Lucy seriously who the hell is this guy and why was he holding my title?
Lucy, clearly upset that this has taken her attention away from her phone, rolls her eyes and then snatches the title away from Ricky.
LHS: OUR title, Ricky. You couldn’t have done it without us. You handle your business in the ring and we take care of everything else.
Ricky looks at Lucy a bit unsure. Lucy gives him the “trust me” look, which puts Ricky a bit more at ease, but he turns back to Rudy and then looks back at Lucy, clearly not understanding what role Rudy plays in all of this. Lucy picks up on this.
LHS: Rudy has connections, Ricky. Don’t worry, he means well. He is only here to help.
Rudy smiles and stands up. He puts his sweaty palm on Ricky’s shoulder, which disgusts Ricky, but Ricky reluctantly allows it to happen.
RP: You’re in good hands, Ric. Tonight was only the beginning. The Silent Majority is going places, big places.
Lucy begins polishing the title as Rudy holds his hand on Ricky’s shoulder and laughs. Ricky looks like Larry David at the end of a ridiculous scene in Curb Your Enthusiasm, unsure of what to make of the situation. He just won gold for the first time in SCW, and the magical moment he dreamed of when he was a young masked wrestler in Mexico has been ruined by a mysterious, sweaty “lawyer”.
Just like the medication, which Ricky continues to take daily, Ricky has no choice but to listen to Lucy here. It seems clear as day that Rudy Powell is an absolute joke, but he seems to have convinced Lucy he is legitimate, and that is enough for Ricky to play along with the charade. What Rudy actually did for The Silent Majority is still unclear, but he appears to be along for the ride at this moment.
This was the immediate aftermath of Ricky James’ TV Title win. A lot has transpired since then. As we saw on Breakdown, The Silent Majority appeared with some modifications to the TV Title itself. They came to the ring to discuss how SCW ratings supposedly spiked the moment Ricky won the title, and the two pledged that Ricky would be a fighting champion, continuing to increase the ratings each week. After some tasteless comments about Regan Street, Ricky and Lucy were interrupted by a vengeful David Helms, who nailed Ricky with the Nightmare on Helms Street.
We now take you to the scenes before and after Ricky’s altercation with the former SCW World Champion.
February 4th, 2021
T-Mobile Center
Kansas City, Missouri
Shortly after Breakdown goes live on air, Ricky James, Lucy Huckabee Sanders, their aid Kellyanne, and their “legal counsel” Rudy Powell are gathered in The Silent Majority’s dressing room. Lucy is texting up a storm while Ricky looks at himself in the mirror, slicking his hair back. Kellyanne is seated at a table with the Television Title laid out across the top. Rudy Powell hovers over her shoulder, taking out his handkerchief every few seconds to wipe sweat off his forehead. Kellyanne begins placing American Flag stickers on the title.
LHS (keeping her eyes on her phone): Almost done, Kellyanne?
Kellyanne: Yup...just having a little trouble getting these to stick.
Ricky: Where did you get them? If they were made in China you know they’re no good.
Kellyanne: Rudy bought them…
Ricky rolls his eyes, still not completely sold on this “Rudy Powell” character. Rudy leans in on Kellyanne and grabs some of the stickers.
RP: No no, Kellyanne. You’re doing it wrong. Let me see here…
Rudy leans in and three drops of sweat drip onto the title. Kellyanne places a sticker over one of the drops and finds that the sweat acts as a better adhesive.
Kellyanne: Oh wow, that works!
RP: I got the magic touch.
Rudy winks at Kellyanne, who is oddly not repulsed by the awkward, creepy, sweaty old man hovering over her shoulder. Lucy interrupts the “moment” between the two.
LHS: How are we doing on those ratings reports, Rudy?
Rudy Powell, flustered, backs away and stutters as he opens up his briefcase.
RP: R-r-right here Lucy. Got ‘em.
Rudy pulls out a stack of papers from his briefcase and hands them to Lucy. The top page is titled “SCW Ratings Report 1/24/2021. Lucy flips through the sheets, which show ratings similar to a Nielsen report, but there is zero indication that any of these “ratings” are official or have been verified.
LHS: Rudy what am I supposed to make of this?
RP: Flip to the chart on the eighth page, here let me -
Rudy walks over to help Lucy but Lucy puts her hand up to stop him.
LHS: I got it, Rudy. Just tell me what page. You don’t have to touch me.
Rudy, defeated, clears his throat and sits back down, nodding.
RP: Page eight there, Lucy.
Lucy flips to the eighth page, which shows a line chart with viewership on the y axis and minute by minute time intervals on the x access. The chart shows an extremely exaggerated peak. A small arrow is drawn at the peak with an asterisk. At the bottom of the sheet, the asterisk explains that the peak was the exact moment Ricky James pinned Kelsai Adamson-Mason to win the TV Title.
RP: Through the roof, Lucy. Our guy is a star. The people tuned in for the end of that match. Once you guys were off screen, it plummeted.
Ricky: What happened after my match?
Kellyanne: Ha, they showed David Helms helping his crippled wife into an ambulance!
The four start laughing hysterically at David and Regan’s misfortune.
Ricky: No wonder why the ratings plummeted!
Kellyane: And Stalina and Shady Sasha were on camera too!
LHS: Gross. I’m surprised the cameraman didn’t pass out while filming that.
The four laugh again for a few moments. Rudy Powell continues to laugh well after the other three finish, which brings about an awkward moment of silence. Ricky finally breaks the silence.
Ricky: So, is my title ready guys?
LHS: OUR title, Ricky. But yes, you can display it proudly. Kellyanne and Rudy added some character to it. For the first time in quite some time, we have restored greatness to the Championship of Television.
Ricky walks over to the title and his eyes light up as he examines the belt, which is now covered in American Flag stickers. Ricky takes a minute to soak in the moment, as he never really had a chance to in the aftermath of his victory. He then grabs the title and drapes it over his shoulder.
Ricky: Ready, Luce?
LHS: Let’s do this. Rudy and Kellyanne, keep guard of the room. There are a lot of left wing lunatics in the back here who aren’t above trying to steal from us.
RP: You got it, Lucy!
Rudy grins as he licks the sweat off his lips, excited at the prospect of being in a room alone with Kellyanne. Ricky and Lucy head out of the room and prepare to hit the ring for their Emergency Ratings Report.
Even right up to the minutes before he hits the ring, Ricky James still appeared uncertain of the whole situation, particularly with Rudy Powell. However, he seemed to become more at ease when he laid eyes on his (regardless of what LHS says, the official title holder IS Ricky James) Championship of Television. Being a champion makes it all worth it for Ricky. Ricky can buy into this garbage because, one way or another, he is becoming very successful. It seems The Silent Majority’s “movement” has some momentum, even if they are an absolute mess behind the scenes.
We already recapped what happened once Ricky and Lucy hit the ring to show off the newly decorated “Championship of Television” and to go over the “ratings reports”. Let’s jump back into the immediate aftermath of David Helms kicking a chair into Ricky’s face.
February 4th, 2021
T-Mobile Center
Kansas City, Missouri
Later that night
The door to The Silent Majority’s door bursts open and Lucy storms in, followed by Ricky James, who holds an icepack on his forehead. Rudy Powell is laid back on a couch, his fly unzipped for some reason. Kellyanne is on her knees on the floor, frantically “looking for something”.
LHS: WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE?
Rudy scrambles to zip up his pants and sits up on the couch.
RP: Just adjusting my pants, it’s not what it looks like.
Kellyanne: I’m just looking for some stickers I dropped!
LHS: Get the hell off the ground, Kellyanne! We got work to do! Did you guys just see what happened?
Rudy and Kellyanne look at each other and shrug. Ricky pulls the ice off his forehead, revealing a large bump that is rapidly swelling.
Ricky: That asshole Helms threw a chair at me!
Rudy stands up and begins to examine Ricky. Ricky quickly pushes Rudy away and reapplies the ice pack.
Ricky: I’m fine, Rudy. Just give me some space right now.
LHS: Rudy, I want to press charges on David Helms, ASAP! Get on it! Kellyanne, Emergency Press Conference time! But not in this shithole state. Get on the phone with your people in Boca Raton and get us set up for tomorrow at 3 PM….NOW!
RP: ON IT LUCY!
Kellyanne: Right away, ma’am.
Kellyanne and Rudy scurry out of the room with their marching orders. Lucy lets out a groan and pulls out her phone, immediately beginning to text again. Ricky winces and begins to sit down on the couch, only to remember the scene he just witnessed with Rudy and Kellyanne. He thinks better of it and instead takes a seat in a separate chair, continuing to hold the ice pack on his head and grimacing. Lucy takes a rare moment to look up from her phone and gives Ricky a disappointed look.
LHS: You see what happens, Ricky?
Ricky: What are you talking about?
LHS: I told you not to hold that title around like that. David Helms was clearly still bitter about losing to Bree and jealous that you were a champion. You taunted him, Ricky. You basically asked for it.
Ricky looks at Lucy in complete disbelief, but struggles to mutter a response of any kind. Still in too much pain, he rolls his eyes and tilts his head back. Lucy resumes texting while she talks to Ricky.
LHS: Rudy will handle this, though. That’s why we pay him.
Ricky picks his head back up.
Ricky: What exactly are we paying him? And whatever happened to Karen?
LHS: Ricky, are you really questioning me right now? Stay focused. You lost focus for a minute out there and got a chair kicked in your face. Now although you were kind of asking for it, that doesn’t make it right. Stop asking questions and just let me handle it. David Helms will be taken care of. You just worry about healing up for tomorrow. We’re going to get ahead of this before the fake news media can spread any lies about what happened.
Ricky sighs but once again accepts what Lucy is telling him. Lucy continues to text, presumably making arrangements for The Silent Majority’s next press conference. Ricky continues to hold the ice on his head as his mind begins to wander.
Was this “Emergency Ratings Update” really worth it? That “on top of the world” feeling Ricky felt when holding that title over his shoulder quickly goes away when you take a chair to the face. Is hanging around with this crowd really worth it for Ricky? How much was his title win as a result of The Silent Majority’s entourage, if any? Do the ends justify the means?
February 5th, 2021
Boca Raton Community Center
We fast forward to the day after Breakdown. Ricky James and Lucy Huckabee Sanders have flown back home to Boca Raton, Florida after a rough night. Ricky and Lucy sit in a small room adjacent to a small auditorium in the community center. The auditorium stage has been furnished with a “TSM” podium and at least a dozen American flags. Back in the small room, Ricky James sits and takes deep breaths, preparing himself to face the media. There is still a noticeable bump on his head from the Nightmare on Helms Street. Lucy is on the phone.
LHS: Yeah. Jay Gold. AGAIN….no, definitely unconstitutional I agree…..yeah we definitely have a case….okay great…….let me know when it’s taken care of. Thanks, Rudy.
Lucy hangs up the phone and sighs. Ricky looks up at her and shakes his head.
Ricky: Jay Gold again? Really? I thought we were past this, Lucy.
LHS: Me too, Ric. But Rudy is taking care of it. Lawsuits have already been filed. There’s no way this match ends up being legitimate.
Ricky looks at Lucy a little skeptical, but stops himself from questioning her. He continues in preparation for the press conference, which consists of reviewing a “file” on Jay Gold, which is just a one-sheeter titled “Fool’s Gold”. Next to the Gold file on the table by Ricky is another stack of papers titled “SCW Ratings Report 2/4/2021”.
LHS: Are you good for today?
Ricky takes a final look at the file, looks back up at Lucy, and flashes a grin.
Ricky: Of course.
LHS: Good. I’ll go see where we’re at.
Lucy steps outside the small room and pokes her head into the auditorium, where she sees a handful of media in the audience. She takes a closer look at the media personnel and her face immediately turns red in anger. She loudly whispers out to Kellyanne.
LHS: Kellyanne! Get over here!
Kellyanne immediately drops what she’s doing and scurries over to Lucy.
Kellyanne: What’s wrong?
LHS: You know exactly what’s wrong! Why is there SCW media here?
Kellyanne: You asked me to get the media…
LHS: Not THAT media! Why did you bring fake news here? Where are our people?!
Kellyanne: Well Lucy I had very little notice and it’s hard to gather that many plant….I mean real news media...
LHS: I don’t want to hear it. You had one job, Kellyanne. You are on thin ice.
Kellyanne: But I…
LHS: THIN. ICE.
Lucy slams the auditorium door in Kellyanne’s face and lets out a scream, which can very clearly be heard by the media members waiting in the auditorium. Lucy storms back into the room and Ricky shoots up from his chair.
Ricky: What’s wrong?
LHS: It’s hard to get good help, Ric. That’s what’s wrong. Kellyanne screwed up again. But whatever. We’ll wing it. These fake news people need to hear the real truth.
Ricky: Agreed. The truth is the truth, and the truth is we are getting screwed over once again. Let’s do this.
Ricky grabs his title belt but Lucy stops him,
LHS: Ahem. We don’t want a repeat of Breakdown do we?
Ricky: Lucy I don’t think David Helms is lurking ready to pounce on me at the community center.
LHS: You never know with these Antifa nutjobs, Ric. You never know.
Ricky: True….fine.
Lucy smiles and grabs the belt, draping it over her own shoulder. She grabs the ratings report as well and then leads Ricky out of the room and into the auditorium. The media members, who had been conversing amongst themselves, all suddenly go quite as they see The Silent Majority emerge. Lucy glares over at Kellyanne, who is on the other side of the stage. Kellyanne quickly scrambles to grab her phone, and within seconds, “Real American” begins to play through the auditorium speakers. Lucy and Ricky make their way up onto the stage. Kellyanne tries to encourage the crowd to cheer, but the media members completely ignore her. Lucy takes the podium, still holding the TV Title over her shoulder. The music slowly fades out.
LHS: Good afternoon, Ladies and Gentlemen. Thank you all for being here today. My name is Lucy Huckabee Sanders, Official Press Secretary of SCW, as you all are well aware. Today we have a very special Emergency Press Conference AND Ratings Update! You will hear from myself and your Champion of Television, Ricky James.
Lucy is interrupted by loud cheering coming from Kellyanne, who seems to have forgotten the audience is legitimate reporters and not TSM plants. After a few seconds Kellyanne realizes everyone is looking at her and shamefully stops clapping. Lucy rolls her eyes and continues.
LHS: As I was saying….we have quite a bit to get to today. A lot has transpired over the past 24 hours and I wanted to give you all some updates. I’d first like to start with the official Ratings Report from Breakdown last night.
Lucy manages to keep the TV TItle draped over her shoulder as she shows off the “Ratings Report” to the media. The font on the report is too small for anyone to make out, as some media members squint to try to read it. Lucy quickly turns the papers back to her before continuing.
LHS: Our minute by minute analysis shows that once again, The Silent Majority drew the highest rating of any individual segment on the show, followed by Xander Valentine choking out David Helms and the Ace Marshall/Holly Adams kiss.
Lucy briefly flashes a “chart” to the reporters, who all look at Lucy like she is crazy, but are seasoned enough now with TSM press conferences to know it is not worth interrupting. Lucy quickly pulls the report back.
LHS: The Silent Majority are responsible for the two highest rated segments on SCW programming in 2021. Coincidentally, David Helms is responsible for the two lowest rated segments on SCW programming in 2021. As you all saw on Breakdown, the ratings took an immediate nosedive when David Helms was seen helping his mentally and physically disabled wife into an ambulance. As you just saw as well, the ratings for this week’s Breakdown immediately plummeted when David Helms rudely interrupted our last Ratings Report. The people want to see The Silent Majority, not you, David Helms.
The reporters let out a collective groan as Lucy continues to spew nonsense.
LHS: For further comment on this week’s ratings, please welcome your CHAMPION OF TELEVISION, RICKY JAMES!
Lucy, despite announcing Ricky as the champion, continues to hold the belt over her shoulder. Ricky steps forward and reporters’ hands shoot up.
Ricky: No questions for now. I will get to them later. I’d like to just make a brief statement on what happened last night. Actually, my statement is going to be a question. And my question for you all is - who throws a chair? I mean honestly. Who throws a chair at people?
Ricky opens up his hand as if he’s legitimately asking the reporters, who all look around unsure.
Ricky: You know where they throw chairs? China. Russia. Communist countries. And apparently New Jersey, the sewer of America where Dirty Dave resides. And after speaking with some very fine people about his history, I am not surprised at this behavior. It is childish and cowardly, which has been the MO for Shady Sasha and her hired left wing hitmen. What happened last night was very obviously a directed attack from Shady Sasha, who is still bitter about me winning the Championship of Television. She does not like seeing beautiful people like The Silent Majority succeed. She can’t stand the fact that Lucy Huckabee Sanders and myself are causing the ratings to skyrocket. She is afraid that if we get too much airtime, she will lose followers and her entire Canadian takeover plan will come crashing down. She wants to silence me. Can you believe it? Shady Sasha wants to silence her own Champion of Television, the greatest Champion of Television, quite frankly, of all time.
Ricky shakes his head.
Ricky: I hate to break it to you, Shady Sasha, but we aren’t going anywhere. You probably thought Dirty David’s little chairshot would take me out for a while. You probably thought I wouldn’t be able to compete next week and you could hand the Championship of Television to your friend Fool’s Gold - and by the way, I will get to him in a bit. Newsflash - I am still here STANDING STRONG as a PROUD PATRIOT.
Ricky lifts his fist up into the air, expecting a reaction, but he, like Kellyanne, quickly realizes the crowd isn’t TSM plants. He tries to maintain a serious face as he lowers his fist.
Ricky: Before we move onto next week, I have a message for you, Dirty David. I know you won’t get it for a while. You’re probably laid up next to your incapacitated wife right now. Congratulations, by the way. Usually your ratings are terrible, but you actually made the top 3 segments this week, as Lucy Huckabee Sanders pointed out. People thoroughly enjoyed watching Xander Valentine choke the life out of you!
Ricky and Lucy begin cackling on stage as the reporters look on absolutely disgusted. The laughing continues for quite some time before Ricky finally regains his composure.
Ricky: Consider yourself lucky, though. If Xander Valentine didn’t get the chance to get his hands on you first, you would have had to deal with me - face to face. Unlike you, I am not a coward who has to sneak attack people. So when you decide to start breathing again, come find me. We have unfinished business, Dirty David. But for now, we will move on. I mentioned sneak attacks, which is the perfect segue to next week. I’d like to bring Lucy Huckabee Sanders back in for a few updates on this “match” next week. Lucy?
Ricky steps back and Lucy, still holding the title, steps forward.
LHS: Thank you, Ricky. Earlier today we received some very unsettling news. Apparently, Shady Sasha is forcing Ricky James to defend his Championship of Television against…...Jay Gold.
Kellyanne immediately begins booing and putting her thumbs down, which still does not draw any reaction from the reporters.
LHS: There are so many things wrong with this, I am not sure where to begin. Let me just start by stating the facts. I will then welcome Ricky back to make a few comments, and we will finish with a few questions. Got it?
The reporters reluctantly nod.
LHS: Good. So, as you all know, Shady Sasha booked this Championship of Television match for next week on Breakdown. She has already also booked a SECOND title defense the following week. This is illegal. This is unconstitutional. There is very clearly an amendment that prohibits cruel and unusual punishment. No champion in the history of SCW has had to defend their title two consecutive weeks.
A couple hands shoot up while other reporters immediately take out their phones, which infuriates Lucy.
LHS: This is UNACCEPTABLE! These matches should not and will not be allowed to happen as they stand right now. I want you all to know that Ricky James WILL compete this upcoming week, but the match will be held under protest. Our legal team has already filed additional lawsuits against SCW and Shady Sasha. Jay Gold is also named as a defendant in the case, because we have overwhelming evidence that he colluded with Shady Sasha to set up this charade of a match. Unfortunately, the case will not be settled in time for Breakdown. However, if this match is ANYTHING but one hundred percent legitimate, it will be stricken from the record book. And as far as the following week goes, we have filed a motion to have the match be completely cancelled. Assuming the match this week is actually legitimate, which we know it likely won’t be, Ricky James is not legally obligated to defend his title again.
The reporters begin to talk amongst themselves, which sets Ricky off. He steps up to the podium and begins screaming.
Ricky: GOD DAMNIT YOU SHOW YOUR OFFICIAL PRESS SECRETARY SOME RESPECT!
A couple reporters chuckle but the group does stop talking. Ricky uses this opportunity to continue as Lucy steps back, surprisingly okay with Ricky taking over.
Ricky: This is a joke. It is beyond ridiculous and beyond unfair. Fool’s Gold has no business getting a title opportunity like this. We have already seen him cheat against me once, a match that has been stricken from the record book. It seems that once the Championship of Television Tournament - which Shady Sasha was forced to create as part of our settlement - ended, Shady Sasha went right back to her corrupt and conspiratal ways. This is a bigger joke than the match with Ashtray Hayes in Germany. This is an even bigger joke than the battle royal at Last Laugh. This might be Shady Sasha’s most egregious move yet.
Ricky slams his hand down on the podium before taking a few deep breaths and continuing.
Ricky: As Lucy Huckabee Sanders mentioned, the legal fight will not be able to be won in time for the match next week. Though Shady Sasha is pretty blatant about her corruption, she was smart enough to beat the system - for now. I will have no choice but to step into the ring with Fool’s Gold once again. If we somehow manage to get an impartial referee who will keep Fool’s Gold in line, this really won’t be a contest, folks. You all saw how easily I was handling him before he cheated against me at Under Attack. I can only hope that if that happens again, the referee will do his job and disqualify Fool’s Gold. I promise you if the match is conducted under fair rules, I will easily retain my Championship of Television. Now, onto your questions.
The reporters’ hands immediately all shoot up. Ricky points to the first person he sees.
Reporter: This question is for either one of you really. Lucy mentioned no champion ever having to defend their title two weeks in a row. That is simply not tr-
Lucy quickly interrupts the reporter.
LHS: I’m sorry, was that a question? No, it wasn’t. Questions only please.
The reporter rolls his eyes and tries to rephrase.
Reporter: Okay, don’t you know-
LHS: NEXT!
The reporter puts his hands up in frustration as Lucy calls on another reporter.
Reporter: On Breakdown the two of you alluded to Ricky James being a fighting champion who would compete every week and boost ratings…
Lucy nods.
LHS: Yes, yes he will.
Reporter: So why are you now saying it’s unfair for him to be booked in consecutive weeks? And no disrespect but Ricky isn’t even guaranteed to come out of Breakdown as champ-
Ricky angrily interrupts.
Ricky: Fake news! You are trying to twist our words around! I said I would APPEAR every week, okay? And for the record, I WILL be a fighting champion, as any champion should be. But once again, I am being treated unfairly. I have probably been treated worse than any champion in SCW history, even slightly worse than Bree Lancaster when Shady Sasha stripped her of her World Championship.
A reporter, having not been called on, interjects.
Reporter: You guys keep saying Bree was stripped of the title, you do know that’s not what happened, right?
Ricky: I know two things happened. The truth, and whatever you fake news media people said happened. We are about the truth, and the truth is Shady Sasha has been screwing over beautiful successful Americans while giving preferential treatment to her Communist buddies - her buddies like Ashtray Hayes and Fool’s Gold who have done absolutely nothing to deserve opportunities. Shady Sasha surrounds herself with the most ridiculous people. It is an absolute circus. I couldn’t imagine surrounding myself with people like that.
A couple reporters begin cackling themselves at Ricky’s hypocrisy. Ricky chooses to ignore them.
Ricky: One more question, that’s it.
The reporters seem to be collectively over The Silent Majority, as one of them is now watching a video of Rudy Powell’s statements prior to Last Grasp of Reality. One reporter slowly raises his hand to humor Ricky.
Ricky: Yes, go ahead.
Reporter: Ricky, in your last match against Jay Gold…
Ricky: That was not a match. That was a setup. That was a charade.
Reporter: Okay, the last time you played charades with Jay Gold….you seemed to get distracted by a mask. You’ve been able to reign it in over the past few weeks, but with a familiar foe challenging you this week, is there any concern those distractions may come back to haunt you?
Ricky stares down the reporter. He does not say anything, just continuing to stare. A legitimate minute of silence passes by, with Ricky continuing to stare down the reporter. The reporter begins to get uncomfortable. Ricky’s eye begins twitching but he maintains eye contact with the reporter, who begins to look around. Finally, Lucy chimes in.
LHS: I would advise that you leave right now. Ladies and gentlemen, this Emergency Press Conference and Ratings report is over. For your Champion of Television Ricky James, I am Lucy Huckabee Sanders, Official Press Secretary of SCW. We are The Silent Majority, for a better SCW.
Lucy nods over to Kellyanne, who takes out her phone and turns “Real American” back on. As the music plays through the speakers, the reporters begin to gather their things. Ricky continues to stare at the last reporter, having not moved or said a word since the question. Lucy whispers something in Ricky’s ear and pats him on the back, but Ricky keeps his eyes focused on the reporter. Ricky watches on as the reporter, who is now over the whole situation, walks out of the auditorium. Lucy eventually grabs Ricky by the arm and pulls him toward her.
LHS: Let it go, Ric.
Most wrestlers in Ricky’s situation would point to their athletic superiority or other in-ring performances and credit their success to that. Ricky James is clearly an impressive athlete and has shown us all what he can do in the ring. The Silent Majority won’t focus on that, though. Yes they’ll mention Ricky “easily defeating” his opponents, but their focus will be more on their out-of-the-ring antics. It’s inconceivable that Sasha is impartial and actually rewards Ricky for his performances accordingly. There has to be a conspiracy. Somehow, someway, The Silent Majority’s consistent spreading of lies and their phony team of lawyers are to credit for Ricky James’ success.
Does Ricky have any pride and self respect? Sure. We know deep down he has faith in his ability in the ring. He will acknowledge he is a superior athlete. But to whom does he owe his success? Ricky has no problem saying it’s a result of the “work” Lucy Huckabee Sanders does for him. Ricky is infatuated with Lucy and has been since she aided in Ricky getting US Citizenship. Despite Lucy not sharing the same feelings for him, Ricky continues to blindly follow Lucy. As he continues to have success, her hold on him grows tighter and tighter.
We saw this control reach another level when Lucy forbade Ricky from speaking with his neighbor, Joe, who has had the second most influence on Ricky since he arrived in the United States. It took a lot for Ricky to begin avoiding a man he sees as a father figure, but Lucy Huckabee Sanders was persuasive enough. Now that Ricky has SCW gold, it seems unlikely he will ever try to reach out to Joe again, as long as LHS continues to control Ricky.
While Lucy takes no responsibility for Ricky’s losses, she of course takes full credit for his victories, and basks in them accordingly. So too does the clown circus that is associated with The Silent Majority, as we take you back to the immediate aftermath of the TV title match at Last Grasp of Reality.
January 24th, 2021
Ball Arena
Denver, Colorado
Sitting in a chair in The Silent Majority’s dressing room, Lucy Huckabee Sanders has a massive smile on her face as she texts up a storm. Rudy Powell, TSM’s Canadian legal counsel, is for some reason in the dressing room as well. Rudy holds Ricky’s newly won SCW TV Title and has a grin on his face.
RP: We did it, Lucy! Look at this. The SCW Television Championship.
Rudy looks up at Lucy, who completely ignores him and continues to text. Mr. Powell awkwardly laughs and looks around the room.
RP: Yup. We finally did it….
Lucy continues to ignore Rudy. Mr. Powell, desperate for attention, begins to whistle, which immediately irritates Lucy, who finally looks up from her phone.
LHS: Oh sorry, I forgot you were here.
Rudy Powell awkwardly laughs again.
RP: That’s the beauty of it, Lucy. I’m always here for you and you don’t even know it! You don’t have to worry. Like I said, I’ll take care of everything for you guys and we will all reap the benefits of this relationship.
LHS: Uh huh…
Lucy rolls her eyes as she turns her attention back to her phone. Rudy once again awkwardly laughs as he looks back at the TV Title as if it were his own. He takes out a handkerchief to wipe sweat off his brow. Ricky James then emerges from the bathroom, having just showered and changed after his big victory. He notices Rudy on the couch and then turns to Lucy.
Ricky: Uh, Luce?
Lucy answers while keeping her eyes on her phone.
LHS: Yeah Ric….
Ricky: What is he doing here?
Rudy Powell chuckles again.
RP: Ricky, I’m always here for you. Just like I told Lucy. She hired me to do a job.
Ricky: And what is that exactly? I thought you were our legal representation for Canada?
RP: I’m much more than that, Ricky.
Rudy laughs again as he looks back down at the title. Ricky looks at Rudy perplexed. Rudy begins dripping sweat again, and Ricky watches as a drop rolls off his forehead, launches off his nose, and drips down onto the title. This infuriates Ricky, who quickly grabs the title away from Rudy.
Ricky: What the hell’s the matter with you? Why are you sweating so much?
Ricky turns to Lucy.
Ricky: Lucy seriously who the hell is this guy and why was he holding my title?
Lucy, clearly upset that this has taken her attention away from her phone, rolls her eyes and then snatches the title away from Ricky.
LHS: OUR title, Ricky. You couldn’t have done it without us. You handle your business in the ring and we take care of everything else.
Ricky looks at Lucy a bit unsure. Lucy gives him the “trust me” look, which puts Ricky a bit more at ease, but he turns back to Rudy and then looks back at Lucy, clearly not understanding what role Rudy plays in all of this. Lucy picks up on this.
LHS: Rudy has connections, Ricky. Don’t worry, he means well. He is only here to help.
Rudy smiles and stands up. He puts his sweaty palm on Ricky’s shoulder, which disgusts Ricky, but Ricky reluctantly allows it to happen.
RP: You’re in good hands, Ric. Tonight was only the beginning. The Silent Majority is going places, big places.
Lucy begins polishing the title as Rudy holds his hand on Ricky’s shoulder and laughs. Ricky looks like Larry David at the end of a ridiculous scene in Curb Your Enthusiasm, unsure of what to make of the situation. He just won gold for the first time in SCW, and the magical moment he dreamed of when he was a young masked wrestler in Mexico has been ruined by a mysterious, sweaty “lawyer”.
Just like the medication, which Ricky continues to take daily, Ricky has no choice but to listen to Lucy here. It seems clear as day that Rudy Powell is an absolute joke, but he seems to have convinced Lucy he is legitimate, and that is enough for Ricky to play along with the charade. What Rudy actually did for The Silent Majority is still unclear, but he appears to be along for the ride at this moment.
This was the immediate aftermath of Ricky James’ TV Title win. A lot has transpired since then. As we saw on Breakdown, The Silent Majority appeared with some modifications to the TV Title itself. They came to the ring to discuss how SCW ratings supposedly spiked the moment Ricky won the title, and the two pledged that Ricky would be a fighting champion, continuing to increase the ratings each week. After some tasteless comments about Regan Street, Ricky and Lucy were interrupted by a vengeful David Helms, who nailed Ricky with the Nightmare on Helms Street.
We now take you to the scenes before and after Ricky’s altercation with the former SCW World Champion.
February 4th, 2021
T-Mobile Center
Kansas City, Missouri
Shortly after Breakdown goes live on air, Ricky James, Lucy Huckabee Sanders, their aid Kellyanne, and their “legal counsel” Rudy Powell are gathered in The Silent Majority’s dressing room. Lucy is texting up a storm while Ricky looks at himself in the mirror, slicking his hair back. Kellyanne is seated at a table with the Television Title laid out across the top. Rudy Powell hovers over her shoulder, taking out his handkerchief every few seconds to wipe sweat off his forehead. Kellyanne begins placing American Flag stickers on the title.
LHS (keeping her eyes on her phone): Almost done, Kellyanne?
Kellyanne: Yup...just having a little trouble getting these to stick.
Ricky: Where did you get them? If they were made in China you know they’re no good.
Kellyanne: Rudy bought them…
Ricky rolls his eyes, still not completely sold on this “Rudy Powell” character. Rudy leans in on Kellyanne and grabs some of the stickers.
RP: No no, Kellyanne. You’re doing it wrong. Let me see here…
Rudy leans in and three drops of sweat drip onto the title. Kellyanne places a sticker over one of the drops and finds that the sweat acts as a better adhesive.
Kellyanne: Oh wow, that works!
RP: I got the magic touch.
Rudy winks at Kellyanne, who is oddly not repulsed by the awkward, creepy, sweaty old man hovering over her shoulder. Lucy interrupts the “moment” between the two.
LHS: How are we doing on those ratings reports, Rudy?
Rudy Powell, flustered, backs away and stutters as he opens up his briefcase.
RP: R-r-right here Lucy. Got ‘em.
Rudy pulls out a stack of papers from his briefcase and hands them to Lucy. The top page is titled “SCW Ratings Report 1/24/2021. Lucy flips through the sheets, which show ratings similar to a Nielsen report, but there is zero indication that any of these “ratings” are official or have been verified.
LHS: Rudy what am I supposed to make of this?
RP: Flip to the chart on the eighth page, here let me -
Rudy walks over to help Lucy but Lucy puts her hand up to stop him.
LHS: I got it, Rudy. Just tell me what page. You don’t have to touch me.
Rudy, defeated, clears his throat and sits back down, nodding.
RP: Page eight there, Lucy.
Lucy flips to the eighth page, which shows a line chart with viewership on the y axis and minute by minute time intervals on the x access. The chart shows an extremely exaggerated peak. A small arrow is drawn at the peak with an asterisk. At the bottom of the sheet, the asterisk explains that the peak was the exact moment Ricky James pinned Kelsai Adamson-Mason to win the TV Title.
RP: Through the roof, Lucy. Our guy is a star. The people tuned in for the end of that match. Once you guys were off screen, it plummeted.
Ricky: What happened after my match?
Kellyanne: Ha, they showed David Helms helping his crippled wife into an ambulance!
The four start laughing hysterically at David and Regan’s misfortune.
Ricky: No wonder why the ratings plummeted!
Kellyane: And Stalina and Shady Sasha were on camera too!
LHS: Gross. I’m surprised the cameraman didn’t pass out while filming that.
The four laugh again for a few moments. Rudy Powell continues to laugh well after the other three finish, which brings about an awkward moment of silence. Ricky finally breaks the silence.
Ricky: So, is my title ready guys?
LHS: OUR title, Ricky. But yes, you can display it proudly. Kellyanne and Rudy added some character to it. For the first time in quite some time, we have restored greatness to the Championship of Television.
Ricky walks over to the title and his eyes light up as he examines the belt, which is now covered in American Flag stickers. Ricky takes a minute to soak in the moment, as he never really had a chance to in the aftermath of his victory. He then grabs the title and drapes it over his shoulder.
Ricky: Ready, Luce?
LHS: Let’s do this. Rudy and Kellyanne, keep guard of the room. There are a lot of left wing lunatics in the back here who aren’t above trying to steal from us.
RP: You got it, Lucy!
Rudy grins as he licks the sweat off his lips, excited at the prospect of being in a room alone with Kellyanne. Ricky and Lucy head out of the room and prepare to hit the ring for their Emergency Ratings Report.
Even right up to the minutes before he hits the ring, Ricky James still appeared uncertain of the whole situation, particularly with Rudy Powell. However, he seemed to become more at ease when he laid eyes on his (regardless of what LHS says, the official title holder IS Ricky James) Championship of Television. Being a champion makes it all worth it for Ricky. Ricky can buy into this garbage because, one way or another, he is becoming very successful. It seems The Silent Majority’s “movement” has some momentum, even if they are an absolute mess behind the scenes.
We already recapped what happened once Ricky and Lucy hit the ring to show off the newly decorated “Championship of Television” and to go over the “ratings reports”. Let’s jump back into the immediate aftermath of David Helms kicking a chair into Ricky’s face.
February 4th, 2021
T-Mobile Center
Kansas City, Missouri
Later that night
The door to The Silent Majority’s door bursts open and Lucy storms in, followed by Ricky James, who holds an icepack on his forehead. Rudy Powell is laid back on a couch, his fly unzipped for some reason. Kellyanne is on her knees on the floor, frantically “looking for something”.
LHS: WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE?
Rudy scrambles to zip up his pants and sits up on the couch.
RP: Just adjusting my pants, it’s not what it looks like.
Kellyanne: I’m just looking for some stickers I dropped!
LHS: Get the hell off the ground, Kellyanne! We got work to do! Did you guys just see what happened?
Rudy and Kellyanne look at each other and shrug. Ricky pulls the ice off his forehead, revealing a large bump that is rapidly swelling.
Ricky: That asshole Helms threw a chair at me!
Rudy stands up and begins to examine Ricky. Ricky quickly pushes Rudy away and reapplies the ice pack.
Ricky: I’m fine, Rudy. Just give me some space right now.
LHS: Rudy, I want to press charges on David Helms, ASAP! Get on it! Kellyanne, Emergency Press Conference time! But not in this shithole state. Get on the phone with your people in Boca Raton and get us set up for tomorrow at 3 PM….NOW!
RP: ON IT LUCY!
Kellyanne: Right away, ma’am.
Kellyanne and Rudy scurry out of the room with their marching orders. Lucy lets out a groan and pulls out her phone, immediately beginning to text again. Ricky winces and begins to sit down on the couch, only to remember the scene he just witnessed with Rudy and Kellyanne. He thinks better of it and instead takes a seat in a separate chair, continuing to hold the ice pack on his head and grimacing. Lucy takes a rare moment to look up from her phone and gives Ricky a disappointed look.
LHS: You see what happens, Ricky?
Ricky: What are you talking about?
LHS: I told you not to hold that title around like that. David Helms was clearly still bitter about losing to Bree and jealous that you were a champion. You taunted him, Ricky. You basically asked for it.
Ricky looks at Lucy in complete disbelief, but struggles to mutter a response of any kind. Still in too much pain, he rolls his eyes and tilts his head back. Lucy resumes texting while she talks to Ricky.
LHS: Rudy will handle this, though. That’s why we pay him.
Ricky picks his head back up.
Ricky: What exactly are we paying him? And whatever happened to Karen?
LHS: Ricky, are you really questioning me right now? Stay focused. You lost focus for a minute out there and got a chair kicked in your face. Now although you were kind of asking for it, that doesn’t make it right. Stop asking questions and just let me handle it. David Helms will be taken care of. You just worry about healing up for tomorrow. We’re going to get ahead of this before the fake news media can spread any lies about what happened.
Ricky sighs but once again accepts what Lucy is telling him. Lucy continues to text, presumably making arrangements for The Silent Majority’s next press conference. Ricky continues to hold the ice on his head as his mind begins to wander.
Was this “Emergency Ratings Update” really worth it? That “on top of the world” feeling Ricky felt when holding that title over his shoulder quickly goes away when you take a chair to the face. Is hanging around with this crowd really worth it for Ricky? How much was his title win as a result of The Silent Majority’s entourage, if any? Do the ends justify the means?
February 5th, 2021
Boca Raton Community Center
We fast forward to the day after Breakdown. Ricky James and Lucy Huckabee Sanders have flown back home to Boca Raton, Florida after a rough night. Ricky and Lucy sit in a small room adjacent to a small auditorium in the community center. The auditorium stage has been furnished with a “TSM” podium and at least a dozen American flags. Back in the small room, Ricky James sits and takes deep breaths, preparing himself to face the media. There is still a noticeable bump on his head from the Nightmare on Helms Street. Lucy is on the phone.
LHS: Yeah. Jay Gold. AGAIN….no, definitely unconstitutional I agree…..yeah we definitely have a case….okay great…….let me know when it’s taken care of. Thanks, Rudy.
Lucy hangs up the phone and sighs. Ricky looks up at her and shakes his head.
Ricky: Jay Gold again? Really? I thought we were past this, Lucy.
LHS: Me too, Ric. But Rudy is taking care of it. Lawsuits have already been filed. There’s no way this match ends up being legitimate.
Ricky looks at Lucy a little skeptical, but stops himself from questioning her. He continues in preparation for the press conference, which consists of reviewing a “file” on Jay Gold, which is just a one-sheeter titled “Fool’s Gold”. Next to the Gold file on the table by Ricky is another stack of papers titled “SCW Ratings Report 2/4/2021”.
LHS: Are you good for today?
Ricky takes a final look at the file, looks back up at Lucy, and flashes a grin.
Ricky: Of course.
LHS: Good. I’ll go see where we’re at.
Lucy steps outside the small room and pokes her head into the auditorium, where she sees a handful of media in the audience. She takes a closer look at the media personnel and her face immediately turns red in anger. She loudly whispers out to Kellyanne.
LHS: Kellyanne! Get over here!
Kellyanne immediately drops what she’s doing and scurries over to Lucy.
Kellyanne: What’s wrong?
LHS: You know exactly what’s wrong! Why is there SCW media here?
Kellyanne: You asked me to get the media…
LHS: Not THAT media! Why did you bring fake news here? Where are our people?!
Kellyanne: Well Lucy I had very little notice and it’s hard to gather that many plant….I mean real news media...
LHS: I don’t want to hear it. You had one job, Kellyanne. You are on thin ice.
Kellyanne: But I…
LHS: THIN. ICE.
Lucy slams the auditorium door in Kellyanne’s face and lets out a scream, which can very clearly be heard by the media members waiting in the auditorium. Lucy storms back into the room and Ricky shoots up from his chair.
Ricky: What’s wrong?
LHS: It’s hard to get good help, Ric. That’s what’s wrong. Kellyanne screwed up again. But whatever. We’ll wing it. These fake news people need to hear the real truth.
Ricky: Agreed. The truth is the truth, and the truth is we are getting screwed over once again. Let’s do this.
Ricky grabs his title belt but Lucy stops him,
LHS: Ahem. We don’t want a repeat of Breakdown do we?
Ricky: Lucy I don’t think David Helms is lurking ready to pounce on me at the community center.
LHS: You never know with these Antifa nutjobs, Ric. You never know.
Ricky: True….fine.
Lucy smiles and grabs the belt, draping it over her own shoulder. She grabs the ratings report as well and then leads Ricky out of the room and into the auditorium. The media members, who had been conversing amongst themselves, all suddenly go quite as they see The Silent Majority emerge. Lucy glares over at Kellyanne, who is on the other side of the stage. Kellyanne quickly scrambles to grab her phone, and within seconds, “Real American” begins to play through the auditorium speakers. Lucy and Ricky make their way up onto the stage. Kellyanne tries to encourage the crowd to cheer, but the media members completely ignore her. Lucy takes the podium, still holding the TV Title over her shoulder. The music slowly fades out.
LHS: Good afternoon, Ladies and Gentlemen. Thank you all for being here today. My name is Lucy Huckabee Sanders, Official Press Secretary of SCW, as you all are well aware. Today we have a very special Emergency Press Conference AND Ratings Update! You will hear from myself and your Champion of Television, Ricky James.
Lucy is interrupted by loud cheering coming from Kellyanne, who seems to have forgotten the audience is legitimate reporters and not TSM plants. After a few seconds Kellyanne realizes everyone is looking at her and shamefully stops clapping. Lucy rolls her eyes and continues.
LHS: As I was saying….we have quite a bit to get to today. A lot has transpired over the past 24 hours and I wanted to give you all some updates. I’d first like to start with the official Ratings Report from Breakdown last night.
Lucy manages to keep the TV TItle draped over her shoulder as she shows off the “Ratings Report” to the media. The font on the report is too small for anyone to make out, as some media members squint to try to read it. Lucy quickly turns the papers back to her before continuing.
LHS: Our minute by minute analysis shows that once again, The Silent Majority drew the highest rating of any individual segment on the show, followed by Xander Valentine choking out David Helms and the Ace Marshall/Holly Adams kiss.
Lucy briefly flashes a “chart” to the reporters, who all look at Lucy like she is crazy, but are seasoned enough now with TSM press conferences to know it is not worth interrupting. Lucy quickly pulls the report back.
LHS: The Silent Majority are responsible for the two highest rated segments on SCW programming in 2021. Coincidentally, David Helms is responsible for the two lowest rated segments on SCW programming in 2021. As you all saw on Breakdown, the ratings took an immediate nosedive when David Helms was seen helping his mentally and physically disabled wife into an ambulance. As you just saw as well, the ratings for this week’s Breakdown immediately plummeted when David Helms rudely interrupted our last Ratings Report. The people want to see The Silent Majority, not you, David Helms.
The reporters let out a collective groan as Lucy continues to spew nonsense.
LHS: For further comment on this week’s ratings, please welcome your CHAMPION OF TELEVISION, RICKY JAMES!
Lucy, despite announcing Ricky as the champion, continues to hold the belt over her shoulder. Ricky steps forward and reporters’ hands shoot up.
Ricky: No questions for now. I will get to them later. I’d like to just make a brief statement on what happened last night. Actually, my statement is going to be a question. And my question for you all is - who throws a chair? I mean honestly. Who throws a chair at people?
Ricky opens up his hand as if he’s legitimately asking the reporters, who all look around unsure.
Ricky: You know where they throw chairs? China. Russia. Communist countries. And apparently New Jersey, the sewer of America where Dirty Dave resides. And after speaking with some very fine people about his history, I am not surprised at this behavior. It is childish and cowardly, which has been the MO for Shady Sasha and her hired left wing hitmen. What happened last night was very obviously a directed attack from Shady Sasha, who is still bitter about me winning the Championship of Television. She does not like seeing beautiful people like The Silent Majority succeed. She can’t stand the fact that Lucy Huckabee Sanders and myself are causing the ratings to skyrocket. She is afraid that if we get too much airtime, she will lose followers and her entire Canadian takeover plan will come crashing down. She wants to silence me. Can you believe it? Shady Sasha wants to silence her own Champion of Television, the greatest Champion of Television, quite frankly, of all time.
Ricky shakes his head.
Ricky: I hate to break it to you, Shady Sasha, but we aren’t going anywhere. You probably thought Dirty David’s little chairshot would take me out for a while. You probably thought I wouldn’t be able to compete next week and you could hand the Championship of Television to your friend Fool’s Gold - and by the way, I will get to him in a bit. Newsflash - I am still here STANDING STRONG as a PROUD PATRIOT.
Ricky lifts his fist up into the air, expecting a reaction, but he, like Kellyanne, quickly realizes the crowd isn’t TSM plants. He tries to maintain a serious face as he lowers his fist.
Ricky: Before we move onto next week, I have a message for you, Dirty David. I know you won’t get it for a while. You’re probably laid up next to your incapacitated wife right now. Congratulations, by the way. Usually your ratings are terrible, but you actually made the top 3 segments this week, as Lucy Huckabee Sanders pointed out. People thoroughly enjoyed watching Xander Valentine choke the life out of you!
Ricky and Lucy begin cackling on stage as the reporters look on absolutely disgusted. The laughing continues for quite some time before Ricky finally regains his composure.
Ricky: Consider yourself lucky, though. If Xander Valentine didn’t get the chance to get his hands on you first, you would have had to deal with me - face to face. Unlike you, I am not a coward who has to sneak attack people. So when you decide to start breathing again, come find me. We have unfinished business, Dirty David. But for now, we will move on. I mentioned sneak attacks, which is the perfect segue to next week. I’d like to bring Lucy Huckabee Sanders back in for a few updates on this “match” next week. Lucy?
Ricky steps back and Lucy, still holding the title, steps forward.
LHS: Thank you, Ricky. Earlier today we received some very unsettling news. Apparently, Shady Sasha is forcing Ricky James to defend his Championship of Television against…...Jay Gold.
Kellyanne immediately begins booing and putting her thumbs down, which still does not draw any reaction from the reporters.
LHS: There are so many things wrong with this, I am not sure where to begin. Let me just start by stating the facts. I will then welcome Ricky back to make a few comments, and we will finish with a few questions. Got it?
The reporters reluctantly nod.
LHS: Good. So, as you all know, Shady Sasha booked this Championship of Television match for next week on Breakdown. She has already also booked a SECOND title defense the following week. This is illegal. This is unconstitutional. There is very clearly an amendment that prohibits cruel and unusual punishment. No champion in the history of SCW has had to defend their title two consecutive weeks.
A couple hands shoot up while other reporters immediately take out their phones, which infuriates Lucy.
LHS: This is UNACCEPTABLE! These matches should not and will not be allowed to happen as they stand right now. I want you all to know that Ricky James WILL compete this upcoming week, but the match will be held under protest. Our legal team has already filed additional lawsuits against SCW and Shady Sasha. Jay Gold is also named as a defendant in the case, because we have overwhelming evidence that he colluded with Shady Sasha to set up this charade of a match. Unfortunately, the case will not be settled in time for Breakdown. However, if this match is ANYTHING but one hundred percent legitimate, it will be stricken from the record book. And as far as the following week goes, we have filed a motion to have the match be completely cancelled. Assuming the match this week is actually legitimate, which we know it likely won’t be, Ricky James is not legally obligated to defend his title again.
The reporters begin to talk amongst themselves, which sets Ricky off. He steps up to the podium and begins screaming.
Ricky: GOD DAMNIT YOU SHOW YOUR OFFICIAL PRESS SECRETARY SOME RESPECT!
A couple reporters chuckle but the group does stop talking. Ricky uses this opportunity to continue as Lucy steps back, surprisingly okay with Ricky taking over.
Ricky: This is a joke. It is beyond ridiculous and beyond unfair. Fool’s Gold has no business getting a title opportunity like this. We have already seen him cheat against me once, a match that has been stricken from the record book. It seems that once the Championship of Television Tournament - which Shady Sasha was forced to create as part of our settlement - ended, Shady Sasha went right back to her corrupt and conspiratal ways. This is a bigger joke than the match with Ashtray Hayes in Germany. This is an even bigger joke than the battle royal at Last Laugh. This might be Shady Sasha’s most egregious move yet.
Ricky slams his hand down on the podium before taking a few deep breaths and continuing.
Ricky: As Lucy Huckabee Sanders mentioned, the legal fight will not be able to be won in time for the match next week. Though Shady Sasha is pretty blatant about her corruption, she was smart enough to beat the system - for now. I will have no choice but to step into the ring with Fool’s Gold once again. If we somehow manage to get an impartial referee who will keep Fool’s Gold in line, this really won’t be a contest, folks. You all saw how easily I was handling him before he cheated against me at Under Attack. I can only hope that if that happens again, the referee will do his job and disqualify Fool’s Gold. I promise you if the match is conducted under fair rules, I will easily retain my Championship of Television. Now, onto your questions.
The reporters’ hands immediately all shoot up. Ricky points to the first person he sees.
Reporter: This question is for either one of you really. Lucy mentioned no champion ever having to defend their title two weeks in a row. That is simply not tr-
Lucy quickly interrupts the reporter.
LHS: I’m sorry, was that a question? No, it wasn’t. Questions only please.
The reporter rolls his eyes and tries to rephrase.
Reporter: Okay, don’t you know-
LHS: NEXT!
The reporter puts his hands up in frustration as Lucy calls on another reporter.
Reporter: On Breakdown the two of you alluded to Ricky James being a fighting champion who would compete every week and boost ratings…
Lucy nods.
LHS: Yes, yes he will.
Reporter: So why are you now saying it’s unfair for him to be booked in consecutive weeks? And no disrespect but Ricky isn’t even guaranteed to come out of Breakdown as champ-
Ricky angrily interrupts.
Ricky: Fake news! You are trying to twist our words around! I said I would APPEAR every week, okay? And for the record, I WILL be a fighting champion, as any champion should be. But once again, I am being treated unfairly. I have probably been treated worse than any champion in SCW history, even slightly worse than Bree Lancaster when Shady Sasha stripped her of her World Championship.
A reporter, having not been called on, interjects.
Reporter: You guys keep saying Bree was stripped of the title, you do know that’s not what happened, right?
Ricky: I know two things happened. The truth, and whatever you fake news media people said happened. We are about the truth, and the truth is Shady Sasha has been screwing over beautiful successful Americans while giving preferential treatment to her Communist buddies - her buddies like Ashtray Hayes and Fool’s Gold who have done absolutely nothing to deserve opportunities. Shady Sasha surrounds herself with the most ridiculous people. It is an absolute circus. I couldn’t imagine surrounding myself with people like that.
A couple reporters begin cackling themselves at Ricky’s hypocrisy. Ricky chooses to ignore them.
Ricky: One more question, that’s it.
The reporters seem to be collectively over The Silent Majority, as one of them is now watching a video of Rudy Powell’s statements prior to Last Grasp of Reality. One reporter slowly raises his hand to humor Ricky.
Ricky: Yes, go ahead.
Reporter: Ricky, in your last match against Jay Gold…
Ricky: That was not a match. That was a setup. That was a charade.
Reporter: Okay, the last time you played charades with Jay Gold….you seemed to get distracted by a mask. You’ve been able to reign it in over the past few weeks, but with a familiar foe challenging you this week, is there any concern those distractions may come back to haunt you?
Ricky stares down the reporter. He does not say anything, just continuing to stare. A legitimate minute of silence passes by, with Ricky continuing to stare down the reporter. The reporter begins to get uncomfortable. Ricky’s eye begins twitching but he maintains eye contact with the reporter, who begins to look around. Finally, Lucy chimes in.
LHS: I would advise that you leave right now. Ladies and gentlemen, this Emergency Press Conference and Ratings report is over. For your Champion of Television Ricky James, I am Lucy Huckabee Sanders, Official Press Secretary of SCW. We are The Silent Majority, for a better SCW.
Lucy nods over to Kellyanne, who takes out her phone and turns “Real American” back on. As the music plays through the speakers, the reporters begin to gather their things. Ricky continues to stare at the last reporter, having not moved or said a word since the question. Lucy whispers something in Ricky’s ear and pats him on the back, but Ricky keeps his eyes focused on the reporter. Ricky watches on as the reporter, who is now over the whole situation, walks out of the auditorium. Lucy eventually grabs Ricky by the arm and pulls him toward her.
LHS: Let it go, Ric.
02-10-2021, 11:36 PM