02-13-2021, 07:19 PM
02-15-2021, 04:03 PM
February 15th, 2021
Egg Harbor Township, NJ
15 minutes west of Atlantic City
Rudy Powell, suited up as usual, sits in a booth at an unknown restaurant, though we can deduce it is likely a pizza place. He has a copy of the New York Post in his hands and he shakes his head as he skims through the news. A waiter approaches Mr. Powell’s table and drops off a Mountain Dew. Rudy puts the paper away and grins at the waiter, who removes Rudy’s empty glass upon placing the new one.
Waiter: Your food should be out any minute now, sir. Can I get you anything else in the meantime?
Rudy licks his lips and laughs. He then motions for the waiter to come closer. The waiter, unsure, looks around briefly before leaning in slightly, still uncomfortable.
RP: You know a gal by the name of Maria?
Waiter: Yeah I know at least 100. Maria who?
RP: I don’t know, something Italian. You should know her, though. Big family around here. Saliva….Salver….Salverino maybe? Her old man runs a casino…
The waiter clearly still has no idea what Rudy is talking about, but he quickly realizes his best option is to humor Mr. Powell.
Waiter: Oh yes of course. What about her?
Rudy looks around suspiciously and then signals for the waiter to come even closer.
Waiter: I’m good right here…
RP: You ever see her around these parts?
Waiter: No, I can honestly say I haven’t.
Rudy looks the waiter up and down, then leans back and begins laughing hysterically. The waiter awkwardly smiles then tries to walk away, but Rudy grabs him by the arm to stop him.
RP: Kid, you don’t want to lie to me. I’m a very powerful man, you know. I have connections. I know Maria Scalabrine is involved with illegal mafia activity and she uses pizza places in Atlantic City like this as a front.
Waiter: Sir this is a Pizza Hut. And we aren’t in Atlantic City.
Rudy releases his grip and backs off. His eyes go wide. He begins to think about the conspiracy theory he read online about government officials running underground child sex trafficking operations at pizza chains. The waiter uses this as an opportunity to head back into the kitchen, as Rudy enters a Ricky-like trance. Two large drops of sweat are seen on Rudy’s forehead. They come close to meeting before a small mole on his forehead causes the drops to separate. The drops of sweat begin a slow descent down Rudy’s face like a novice skier navigating their way down a slope. Rudy quickly snaps out of the trance and his face lights up as he sees the waiter emerge from the kitchen with his order, a large pepperoni pizza. The waiter sets the pizza down at the table.
Waiter: Here you are, sir. Anything else I can get you?
By the time the waiter can finish asking the question, Rudy already has a slice in his hands, ready to eat. The drops of sweat have made their way down both of his cheeks. One drop drips off his face and onto the slice of pizza just as Rudy takes a massive bite. The other drop falls down onto the table. The waiter sees this and looks absolutely repulsed. Seeing Rudy is “occupied”, the waiter starts to walk away, but Rudy shakes his head and puts his finger up. Still chewing, Rudy responds.
RP: One thing. You know of any Italian joints here in the city? You know, a nice large restaurant with a big basement?
The waiter stares at Rudy, completely perplexed. After a few moments, the waiter thinks of a way to mess with him.
Waiter: Well there is an Olive Garden just down the road here. I don’t know too much about it, but I’ve heard some rumors….
Rudy flashes a grin as he finishes chewing. He nods and puts his finger up to his lip, shushing the waiter.
RP: Don’t say that too loud, kid. But I’m on it. Thank you sir.
The waiter gives Rudy a sarcastic thumbs up before turning away and rolling his eyes. Rudy continues destroying his large pizza. He uses part of the New York Post as a towel to wipe off his sweat, which seems to become an even bigger issue for him when he eats.
This ridiculous scene will make some sense a bit later on. Well, it’ll make as much sense as anything involving The Silent Majority, which is becoming more and more of a circus each week. Despite this, Ricky James and Lucy Huckabee Sanders continue to have success.
Ricky James was able to successfully defend his “Championship of Television” this week against Jay Gold - a match we weren’t sure The Silent Majority would even recognize. Ricky won an intense, hard-fought battle with rival Jay Gold. The match was extremely chippy, with the referee allowing both men to skirt the rules a bit. At the end, Ricky used an illegal low blow and grabbed the tights while pinning Gold to secure the victory. Ricky was able to pull this victory off while nursing a leg injury suffered from Jay Gold repeatedly targeting it during the match. It was an impressive showing, though Ricky clearly cheated in winning.
The Silent Majority of course celebrated the match, another “team victory”. Though he needed help to win, Ricky was mostly able to defend his title by himself. That is not what Lucy Huckabee Sanders and Rudy Powell would have you believe, though. It wasn’t Ricky’s resourcefulness and determination. It wasn’t his ability to out-smart a referee and Jay Gold. It was the result of all the “hard work” The Silent Majority puts in at all levels - from Rudy Powell’s phony lawsuits, to Kellyanne’s patchwork press conferences, to Lucy’s “Emergency Ratings Updates”.
This is what Lucy, and now Rudy, will tell Ricky. Ricky will go along with it, even if he is a bit skeptical himself. When all is going right for The Silent Majority, it is easy for all involved to take credit. We will see how long they can keep this up, though. It will be interesting to see what happens if and when Ricky loses, and blame has to be cast.
Until then, it is business as usual for The Silent Majority. We take you to a rare visit into the home of Lucy Huckabee Sanders….
February 15th, 2021
Boca Raton, Florida
Residence of “Lucy Huckabee Sanders”
Ricky sits back in a large recliner in the living room of Lucy Huckabee Sanders’ home, which is absolutely massive. All furniture in the house is of the highest quality, the walls are decorated with expensive art, and the house is in pristine condition. Most noticeable however is what is not in the house. There are no American flags, no signs of “Patriotism”, and no signs of any wrestling memorabilia. There are no obvious indications that the woman we know as Lucy Huckabee Sanders, Official Press Secretary of SCW, lives in the house. We have seen obvious signs in Ricky’s home, but nothing at all like that in Lucy’s home. The only clear sign, other than Lucy and Ricky themselves, is Ricky’s Television Championship belt, which lay across the coffee table in the living room. The belt is covered in even more American flag stickers, almost making the title indistinguishable.
Ricky: So Luce... I’m surprised you let me over here
Lucy, texting away as usual, scoffs before answering, keeping her eyes on her phone.
LHS: Well I didn’t really have a choice, Ricky. You’ve made it so that I have to be with you basically 24/7.
Ricky: Lucy, I’m an adult. That’s ridiculous.
Lucy closes her eyes and takes a deep breath.
LHS: Ricky, adults don’t throw temper tantrums every time they hear the word “mask”.
Ricky: Hey, I held it together last week.
LHS: Barely, and you needed me to help you.
Ricky: I see things a bit differently, Lucy. But whatever you say…
Lucy finishes sending a text then slams her phone down on the table, extremely frustrated with Ricky.
LHS: If I weren’t there, you would have taken that reporter’s head off.
Ricky: I can control myself, Lucy. Look, I will always love your support. You know that. But I’m a big boy. I can handle my business. I took care of Fool’s Gold just like I took care of Kelsai, Tommy, Blake…
LHS: WE, Ricky. WE took care of them. This is a team effort.
Ricky: Okay, Lucy. You and I. You’re ri-
LHS: How do you think we got that referee, Ric? Shady Sasha had her plant ready to go until Rudy stepped in. He made sure you got a fair chance. He made sure that the referee was legitimate.
Ricky: How do you know this, though? And for the record, that referee was still a little shaky. He let Fool’s Gold get away with so much crap…
LHS: It would’ve been worse without Rudy, Ric. Trust me on that. You do trust me, don’t you?
Ricky: Of course I do, ba- Lucy.
LHS: Good. Just focus on what happens inside the ring and let me handle everything else.
Ricky nods his head and sighs. Lucy picks up her phone again and resumes texting. Ricky looks around the house and quickly becomes anxious, rocking back and forth.
Ricky: So….any word on how much longer?
LHS: Just waiting on Rudy. I sent him to Atlantic City to dig up some dirt on our friend, Ms. Salvatore.
Ricky: What happened to the motion to move the match? No luck there?
LHS: I don’t know, Rudy said the courts were dragging their feet. We shifted focus a little bit - he’s hoping to get the match thrown out on the grounds that Maria should be in jail right now for her criminal activity.
Ricky: I have no idea what she did to deserve this match. And what is Sasha’s fascination with making me wrestle women? I hate having to lay my hands on them...I was raised better than that. I mean look, if Sasha wants to watch another one of her female superstars go down like Radical Regan, that’s on her. I can’t be held responsible for what I do to Maria in the ring if Sasha booked the match. But it just doesn’t make sense….something has to be up.
Lucy nods her head in agreement.
LHS: Ricky, this girl is a criminal. Of course something is up. Sasha isn’t going to book you one on one with Snooki and expect a fair match. There’s a plan here. She’s trying to screw us out of our title. If the courts can’t see that, Rudy will make sure the local authorities capture Maria before Thursday.
Ricky: Will he?
Lucy glares at Ricky, who quickly realizes he has begun questioning Lucy against her wishes.
Ricky: I mean…..will he have enough time? And speaking of...it’s getting pretty late. Aren’t you worried he’ll be coming back home soon?
Lucy chooses not to answer Ricky, who just alluded to someone else who lives at Lucy’s residence.
Ricky: How’s he doing, by the way?
Lucy’s face turns the familiar bright red we are used to seeing.
LHS: My personal life is my personal life, Ricky. How many times do we have to go through this?
Ricky: Well as your legal husband I just figured I’d have the right to know about this other guy…
Lucy literally jumps out of her seat, storms over to Ricky, and sticks her finger in his face.
LHS: For the last time, Ric, we are not married. We have a BUSINESS relationship and that is that. What or who I do in my spare time is none of your business, comprende?
Ricky: I’m just saying the State of Texas says…
LHS: Are we in Texas, Ric? No, we’re not. I don’t care what the State of Texas says. I did you a favor because I saw potential in you. We have made it a long way since then. Don’t ruin it with these stupid questions.
Ricky attempts to chime in but Lucy isn’t having it.
LHS: I don’t want to hear anything else from you other than “Yes, Lucy” until we shoot this Ratings Report. Got it?
Ricky bites his tongue and nods. Ricky then mockingly raises his hand to ask a question like a student in a classroom. Lucy sees this and rolls her eyes.
LHS: What, Ricky?
Ricky: May I please use the restroom?
LHS: Jesus Ric….yes. Just clean up after yourself. Maria won’t be in until tomorrow so you have to cover your own tracks.
Ricky: Salvatore?
LHS: No Ric, our maid is also Maria. It’s a common name for peasants.
Ricky: Oh, ha! Makes sense…
Ricky sits up and makes his way to the first floor bathroom as Lucy sits back down, eyes still glued to her phone. Ricky walks down the hallway and looks at the art on the walls. Amongst the art are family photos of Lucy, an unknown older white man, and several children. Ricky can’t help but stare at these photos. Ricky is well aware of Lucy’s other life, but it really hits home as he stands in Lucy’s house, likely owned by the man in the pictures. Sensing Ricky isn’t actually going to the bathroom, Lucy yells out to Ricky.
LHS: Hey, it ain’t a museum, Ric! Keep it moving!
Ricky takes one last look at the photos, which depict Lucy in a much different light - she looks genuinely happy in the photos, with expressions on her face Ricky rarely sees. Ricky sighs and then proceeds to the restroom.
Meanwhile back in New Jersey…
Olive Garden
Mays Landing, NJ
18 miles west of Atlantic City
Rudy Powell takes a seat in a booth meant for 6 people at the Olive Garden, a few minutes down the highway from the Pizza Hut where Rudy Powell just polished off a large pizza and four Mountain Dews. Rudy grabs two sets of silverware, putting one napkin on his lap and using another to wipe the sweat from his brow. The thick Olive Garden napkin is no match for the sweat and quickly becomes damp. A waitress approaches Rudy.
Waitress: Excuse me sir, are you expecting more people to join you?
Rudy scrambles and stutters while answering, which is becoming a familiar scene.
RP: I...i...i….well I spoke with the hostess and explained I have a condition, I need accommodations...I need this booth.
Waitress: Well alright then sir, that’s perfectly okay. Let me just take this extra silverware out of your way…
Rudy quickly grabs the extra sets of silverware.
RP: No no no I need these….I’m a...a bit of a messy eater, sorry.
Rudy awkwardly laughs as the waitress gives him the same perplexed look virtually everyone who meets Rudy gives him.
Waitress: Well sir we have plenty of napkins, I just figured you wouldn’t need six sets of silverware…
Rudy grins at the waitress, making her even more uncomfortable.
RP: As I said, I’m a messy eater….gotta make the dishwasher earn his paycheck, am I right?
Rudy again laughs while the waitress gives him the “Okay……….” look.
Waitress: Well sir, can I get you anything besides water to drink?
RP: Mountain Dew, light ice please.
Waitress: I’m sorry sir, we only serve Coke products here…
Rudy slams his hand down on the table, frightening the waitress. He takes a few moments to calm down before turning back to the waitress and flashing his trademark creepy grin.
RP: Well that’s unfortunate but alright, Dear. I’ll take two sweetened iced teas, please.
The waitress nods and quickly walks away before Rudy can say anything else. Rudy chuckles to himself and begins to look at the menu. It has become apparent the large pepperoni pizza wasn’t enough for him and he has come to Olive Garden for a second lunch. The waitress comes back a few minutes later with Rudy’s iced teas. She places them down as Rudy continues to look at the menu.
RP: So uh... I have to ask. You know a girl by the name of Maria?
Waitress: Maria what? Sir there are hundreds of-
RP: It’s something specific. You’d know her. Maria S…..S….Spaghetti and Meatballs, I’ll take an order of spaghetti and meatballs, please.
The waitress looks at Rudy like the complete psycho he is.
Waitress: Uh..sure thing.
The waitress walks away and rolls her eyes. Rudy sets down the menu and sucks down the iced tea, drops of sweat dripping into his drink. Rudy is flustered as his phone suddenly rings. He scrambles to answer his phone as “Lucy Huckabee Sanders” appears on his screen.
RP: Mr. Powell speaking…
LHS: Rudy! Any luck? Where are we at?
RP: Well Lucy, this one is a tough case to crack, but I’m on it.
Another waiter drops off some breadsticks to Rudy’s table. Rudy immediately puts an entire breadstick in his mouth and continues to talk to Lucy as he chews.
LHS: Well I was hoping you’d have some information by now...we have to shoot this ratings update in the next hour…
RP: *Indistinguishable chewing breadstick noise*
LHS: Rudy I can’t understand you. What the hell are you doing?
RP: Sorry Lucy, just stopping for a quick lunch here. But look, I think this Maria chick and her family are tied into the Democratic pedophile ring.
LHS: Oh????
RP: Yeah, a lot of shady activity over here. They open up these Italian joints all over the city as a front….give me another day or two here and I’ll get some answers.
LHS: Interesting….well, I need something quickly. Are we going with the child trafficking thing? Is that going to get her?
RP: Well you got those ratings reports I sent, right?
LHS: Yes, we got those. They look very similar to last week’s….
RP: Well you guys are a hit! Best thing on TV right now!
Lucy hears the sound of Rudy sucking down his second iced tea, which frustrates her, but she clearly shows a surprising amount of patience with Rudy, completely buying into his bullshit.
LHS: Well I guess that goes without saying….I was hoping we’d have some leads on Maria, though. Ricky should not have to be defending the title two weeks in a row…
RP: I hear ya, Lucy. If you want something juicy, you may want to mention her husband. Maleek Kareem Abdul Jabaar’s his name.
LHS: Wow, straight from the Taliban.
RP: Exactly, Lucy. Wouldn’t be surprised if there are ties there. This is a massive operation here, Lucy. Worldwide. Globalists. And it doesn’t surprise me that Shady Sasha is working with the terrorists. Those Commies always want the terrorists to win.
LHS: Son of a bitch...well, I’ll let you go. Please call me back ASAP with any new info you come across.
RP: Will do, Lucy. I’m digging pretty deep here…
Rudy says this as he sticks his hand in the basket of breadsticks, grabbing the last one and shoving it down his gullet.
LHS: I appreciate it, Rudy. We’ll see you Thursday!
RP: *More indistinguishable chewing sounds*
------------------------------------------------------------
Back in the home of Lucy Huckabee Sanders, Lucy and Ricky wait as Kellyanne and a camera crew finish setting up a makeshift press conference in the house’s workout room. The racks of dumbbells are covered with red, white, and blue pipe and drape. In front of the pipe and drape is the trademark “TSM” podium. Kellyanne scrambles to place a couple flags on either side of the podium. A professional camera is pointed at the podium, and the rest of the workout benches and other equipment have been pushed aside off camera.
LHS: Let’s go people, hurry it up! We have to get this done in one shot and be wrapped up and out of here in less than an hour!
Kellyanne: Does he know we are using this ro---
LHS: Kellyanne, did I ask you to start asking stupid questions?
Kellyanne: I uh….no, no you didn’t.
LHS: Good. The plan is to shoot this quickly and get out of here, leaving no traces of any of this behind. Can you handle that?
Kellyanne: Of course, Lucy! We’re just about ready.
Lucy nods and begins barking out orders.
LHS: OKAY PEOPLE! PLACES!
Lucy claps her hands as the crew finishes putting the room together. She turns back to see Ricky holding the television title over his shoulder.
LHS: Um, Ric?
Ricky: Oh come on, Lucy. We’re in your house, I think I’m safe to hold this here.
Lucy rolls her eyes and sighs.
LHS: Okay, we’ll compromise and put it down on the podium.
Lucy grabs the title from Ricky quickly before he can object and places it on the podium.
LHS: There, our title will be on display for the world to see. Now let’s do this, Ric.
Ricky shakes his head but follows Lucy behind the podium. The camera crew assume their positions, the main cameraman giving Lucy a countdown to behind.
Cameraman: In 5….4…..3…..2…..
LHS: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to a special Emergency Ratings Report. I am Lucy Huckabee Sanders, Official Press Secretary of SCW, here with your Champion of Television, Ricky James! Today we have another ratings report to share with you all. We will then address Shady Sasha’s latest act of negligence: placing Ricky James in a match with a criminal. But first, let’s take a look at the Official Ratings Report for the February 11th edition of Breakdown.
Lucy pulls out a sheet of papers that look eerily similar to previous ratings reports. In fact, Lucy completely overlooked the fact that the date on the report had been crossed out with a new date written underneath. This is very clearly visible on camera, but Lucy ignores it as she flips through the pages. She makes her way through to the line chart of the ratings, which is the exact same chart as last week. She notices Rudy has placed Post-It notes on the chart page and quickly turns the report back to her so the camera cannot see the notes. She takes a minute to look over them before not-so-casually ripping them off the paper and turning the paper back to the camera.
LHS: As you can see here, The Silent Majority once again dominated the ratings last week. Viewership peaked as Ricky James pinned an incapacitated Fool’s Gold in the middle of the ring to retain our Championship of Television. The ratings took an immediate nosedive when the Antifa/Communist Unit, Ashtray Hayes and Acid Trip Turner, took on the Psychocoms, Commie Dreams and Jihad Jordan Minors, in the Tag League Finals. The Tag League, another sham of a tournament from Shady Sasha, was probably the lowest rated set of matches in SCW history. Wildly unpopular, the Tag League almost completely destroyed SCW viewership. Fortunately for you all, The Silent Majority is here to save the ratings!
Kellyanne can be heard cheering loudly off camera. Lucy, clearly annoyed by Kellyanne, tries to keep her cool as she smiles and continues.
LHS: We could go on and on about the “Tag League”. We know why The Silent Majority wasn’t invited. We know it was just another plot to hand out titles to undeserving drug addicts and left wing lunatics. We watched the beautiful Bree Lancaster get screwed YET AGAIN. If I were Bree Lancaster - and I mean we are both equally beautiful - I would be demanding an investigation into this “Tag League” immediately. Bree, I know you are listening, so please don’t hesitate to call us if you need some legal counsel. The same goes for you, Sienna Swann.
Lucy does the “call me” motion to the camera.
LHS: Moving along….this week, for the first time in SCW history, Ricky James will have to defend our Championship of Television for the SECOND STRAIGHT WEEK. As we told you last week, we are working vigorously, 24 hours a day 7 days a week, to get this match thrown out. Our case may not be heard on time, but we have NEW EVIDENCE that cannot be ignored.
Lucy, for the first time that we have ever seen, pulls out a set of reading glasses and puts them on as she reviews another stack of papers.
LHS: Ladies and gentlemen, forget the fact that Maria Salvatore has done absolutely nothing noteworthy in SCW. Forget the fact that she does not deserve a title match. Forget the fact that this is likely yet another handout from Shady Sasha. Ladies and gentlemen, Maria Salvatore has no business being in SCW, let alone being in a Championship of Television match. Maria Salvatore is a criminal with a rap sheet longer than The Silent Majority’s list of SCW accomplishments. We are well aware of her illegal Mafia activity in Atlantic City. Well. Aware. I would highly suggest that anyone looking to gamble in Atlantic City think twice about it. The machines and tables there are rigged, more rigged than a Shady Sasha-booked match. Maria Salvatore is profiting directly off innocent tourists. But it’s worse than that, folks.
Lucy lowers and shakes her head.
LHS: We have reason to believe Maria Salvatore’s husband, Maleek Allahu Akbar, is linked to global terrorist organizations. This is a matter of national and global security, ladies and gentlemen. We do not have faith in Shady Sasha to keep us protected this week, so we have contacted federal authorities. Now we fully expect for this match to be thrown out, but we know you all want to hear from Ricky James. Here to comment on the match that likely will not happen, here is Ricky James!
Kellyanne can be heard applauding as Lucy steps back and Ricky steps forward.
Ricky: Thank you, Lucy. Look, everyone. I am a fighting champion, of course. Nobody fights harder than me. I do not have an issue defending my Championship of Television week after week, even if I am the only superstar to have ever done that in SCW history. I get it - Shady Sasha picks on me because she is jealous of my success. She is jealous of the success of The Silent Majority. And look, I think she can’t deny the ratings any longer. She knows people want to see The Silent Majority, so she has no choice but to book me every week. I actually get that.
Ricky pauses, lowers his head, and puts his fist out, taking a more serious tone.
Ricky: What I don’t get, however, is why Shady Sasha feels the need to put her Champion of Television in serious danger like this. Am I concerned about having to wrestle Maria Fedoratore? HELL NO! I’d be more concerned about her health after having to wrestle me. Look, you all know I am staunchly against laying my hands on a woman. I would never do that outside of the ring. Unfortunately, Shady Sasha and SCW condone the abuse of women. I am not held responsible for anything I do to Maria, or any woman for that matter, in an SCW ring. It has taken me some time, but I have finally come to terms with having to wrestle women in this promotion.
Ricky shakes his fist.
Ricky: No, I am not concerned about a woman half my size. What I AM concerned with is SCW’s vetting process. How do we let a criminal like Maria have a job here? She has links to the mafia. She may have links to a child sex trafficking ring. And today we find out her husband is likely linked to global terrorist organizations. Maria should not just be stripped of this opportunity and she should not just lose her job in SCW - she should be in jail!
Ricky slams his fist down on the podium.
Ricky: This match likely will not happen, folks. The evidence is overwhelming. I would not be surprised if Maria Mussolini is arrested within days, if not hours. Perhaps that will be a wakeup call for Shady Sasha. Or perhaps Shady Sasha will go to jail with her for harboring a fugitive. Whatever the case, I expect some fireworks this week.
Lucy nods her head in agreement behind Ricky. The cameraman looks at his watch and then signals for Ricky to wrap things up.
Ricky: I do not expect this match to take place this week. I really don’t. But if it does, Maria Stalinita is going to wish the match didn’t take place. I will not hold back. You have seen what I’ve done to Fool’s Gold, Tommy Valiumtime, and Bolshevik Blake in recent weeks. You’ve seen what I’ve done to Kelsai Antifa-Mason. It does not matter who steps in the ring with me. I take it personal when I’m in the ring with left-wing scum. Maria might be the worst of the bunch.
Ricky stares right into the camera and shakes his fist again.
Ricky: So Maria Sapranos...if that is your real name….I suggest you turn yourself in. One way or the other, your time in SCW is up. Just like in World War 2, be it this Thursday on Breakdown or before then in a courtroom, the Proud Patriots will take down the Evil Italians. That is a promise.
Ricky continues to stare and shake his fist into the camera as Lucy steps forward again.
LHS: Thank you all for tuning in today. With your Champion of Television, Ricky James, I am Lucy Huckabee Sanders, Official Press Secretary of SCW. We are The SIlent Majority, for a better SCW!
Lucy and Ricky hold their fists up as the cameraman counts them down, slowly turning his camera off. Once Lucy gets clearance, she lowers her arm and resumes barking orders.
LHS: ALRIGHT PEOPLE! LET’S GET OUT OF HERE IN FIVE MINUTES! MOVE!
Kellyanne and the crew scramble to get everything taken down, presumably before the man who lives with Lucy gets home. Lucy is quick to grab the television title and drape it over her shoulder. She signals for Ricky to follow her.
Ricky: Just a sec, Luce. I’ll be right there.
Lucy rolls her eyes and storms out of the room. Ricky waits a moment to make sure Lucy is out of sight. He then pulls a small piece of paper out of his pants pocket and places it between two dumbbells on the rack behind the pipe and drape, without any crew members noticing. He then hurries out of the room to catch up to Lucy as the crew continue to quickly break down the set.
Egg Harbor Township, NJ
15 minutes west of Atlantic City
Rudy Powell, suited up as usual, sits in a booth at an unknown restaurant, though we can deduce it is likely a pizza place. He has a copy of the New York Post in his hands and he shakes his head as he skims through the news. A waiter approaches Mr. Powell’s table and drops off a Mountain Dew. Rudy puts the paper away and grins at the waiter, who removes Rudy’s empty glass upon placing the new one.
Waiter: Your food should be out any minute now, sir. Can I get you anything else in the meantime?
Rudy licks his lips and laughs. He then motions for the waiter to come closer. The waiter, unsure, looks around briefly before leaning in slightly, still uncomfortable.
RP: You know a gal by the name of Maria?
Waiter: Yeah I know at least 100. Maria who?
RP: I don’t know, something Italian. You should know her, though. Big family around here. Saliva….Salver….Salverino maybe? Her old man runs a casino…
The waiter clearly still has no idea what Rudy is talking about, but he quickly realizes his best option is to humor Mr. Powell.
Waiter: Oh yes of course. What about her?
Rudy looks around suspiciously and then signals for the waiter to come even closer.
Waiter: I’m good right here…
RP: You ever see her around these parts?
Waiter: No, I can honestly say I haven’t.
Rudy looks the waiter up and down, then leans back and begins laughing hysterically. The waiter awkwardly smiles then tries to walk away, but Rudy grabs him by the arm to stop him.
RP: Kid, you don’t want to lie to me. I’m a very powerful man, you know. I have connections. I know Maria Scalabrine is involved with illegal mafia activity and she uses pizza places in Atlantic City like this as a front.
Waiter: Sir this is a Pizza Hut. And we aren’t in Atlantic City.
Rudy releases his grip and backs off. His eyes go wide. He begins to think about the conspiracy theory he read online about government officials running underground child sex trafficking operations at pizza chains. The waiter uses this as an opportunity to head back into the kitchen, as Rudy enters a Ricky-like trance. Two large drops of sweat are seen on Rudy’s forehead. They come close to meeting before a small mole on his forehead causes the drops to separate. The drops of sweat begin a slow descent down Rudy’s face like a novice skier navigating their way down a slope. Rudy quickly snaps out of the trance and his face lights up as he sees the waiter emerge from the kitchen with his order, a large pepperoni pizza. The waiter sets the pizza down at the table.
Waiter: Here you are, sir. Anything else I can get you?
By the time the waiter can finish asking the question, Rudy already has a slice in his hands, ready to eat. The drops of sweat have made their way down both of his cheeks. One drop drips off his face and onto the slice of pizza just as Rudy takes a massive bite. The other drop falls down onto the table. The waiter sees this and looks absolutely repulsed. Seeing Rudy is “occupied”, the waiter starts to walk away, but Rudy shakes his head and puts his finger up. Still chewing, Rudy responds.
RP: One thing. You know of any Italian joints here in the city? You know, a nice large restaurant with a big basement?
The waiter stares at Rudy, completely perplexed. After a few moments, the waiter thinks of a way to mess with him.
Waiter: Well there is an Olive Garden just down the road here. I don’t know too much about it, but I’ve heard some rumors….
Rudy flashes a grin as he finishes chewing. He nods and puts his finger up to his lip, shushing the waiter.
RP: Don’t say that too loud, kid. But I’m on it. Thank you sir.
The waiter gives Rudy a sarcastic thumbs up before turning away and rolling his eyes. Rudy continues destroying his large pizza. He uses part of the New York Post as a towel to wipe off his sweat, which seems to become an even bigger issue for him when he eats.
This ridiculous scene will make some sense a bit later on. Well, it’ll make as much sense as anything involving The Silent Majority, which is becoming more and more of a circus each week. Despite this, Ricky James and Lucy Huckabee Sanders continue to have success.
Ricky James was able to successfully defend his “Championship of Television” this week against Jay Gold - a match we weren’t sure The Silent Majority would even recognize. Ricky won an intense, hard-fought battle with rival Jay Gold. The match was extremely chippy, with the referee allowing both men to skirt the rules a bit. At the end, Ricky used an illegal low blow and grabbed the tights while pinning Gold to secure the victory. Ricky was able to pull this victory off while nursing a leg injury suffered from Jay Gold repeatedly targeting it during the match. It was an impressive showing, though Ricky clearly cheated in winning.
The Silent Majority of course celebrated the match, another “team victory”. Though he needed help to win, Ricky was mostly able to defend his title by himself. That is not what Lucy Huckabee Sanders and Rudy Powell would have you believe, though. It wasn’t Ricky’s resourcefulness and determination. It wasn’t his ability to out-smart a referee and Jay Gold. It was the result of all the “hard work” The Silent Majority puts in at all levels - from Rudy Powell’s phony lawsuits, to Kellyanne’s patchwork press conferences, to Lucy’s “Emergency Ratings Updates”.
This is what Lucy, and now Rudy, will tell Ricky. Ricky will go along with it, even if he is a bit skeptical himself. When all is going right for The Silent Majority, it is easy for all involved to take credit. We will see how long they can keep this up, though. It will be interesting to see what happens if and when Ricky loses, and blame has to be cast.
Until then, it is business as usual for The Silent Majority. We take you to a rare visit into the home of Lucy Huckabee Sanders….
February 15th, 2021
Boca Raton, Florida
Residence of “Lucy Huckabee Sanders”
Ricky sits back in a large recliner in the living room of Lucy Huckabee Sanders’ home, which is absolutely massive. All furniture in the house is of the highest quality, the walls are decorated with expensive art, and the house is in pristine condition. Most noticeable however is what is not in the house. There are no American flags, no signs of “Patriotism”, and no signs of any wrestling memorabilia. There are no obvious indications that the woman we know as Lucy Huckabee Sanders, Official Press Secretary of SCW, lives in the house. We have seen obvious signs in Ricky’s home, but nothing at all like that in Lucy’s home. The only clear sign, other than Lucy and Ricky themselves, is Ricky’s Television Championship belt, which lay across the coffee table in the living room. The belt is covered in even more American flag stickers, almost making the title indistinguishable.
Ricky: So Luce... I’m surprised you let me over here
Lucy, texting away as usual, scoffs before answering, keeping her eyes on her phone.
LHS: Well I didn’t really have a choice, Ricky. You’ve made it so that I have to be with you basically 24/7.
Ricky: Lucy, I’m an adult. That’s ridiculous.
Lucy closes her eyes and takes a deep breath.
LHS: Ricky, adults don’t throw temper tantrums every time they hear the word “mask”.
Ricky: Hey, I held it together last week.
LHS: Barely, and you needed me to help you.
Ricky: I see things a bit differently, Lucy. But whatever you say…
Lucy finishes sending a text then slams her phone down on the table, extremely frustrated with Ricky.
LHS: If I weren’t there, you would have taken that reporter’s head off.
Ricky: I can control myself, Lucy. Look, I will always love your support. You know that. But I’m a big boy. I can handle my business. I took care of Fool’s Gold just like I took care of Kelsai, Tommy, Blake…
LHS: WE, Ricky. WE took care of them. This is a team effort.
Ricky: Okay, Lucy. You and I. You’re ri-
LHS: How do you think we got that referee, Ric? Shady Sasha had her plant ready to go until Rudy stepped in. He made sure you got a fair chance. He made sure that the referee was legitimate.
Ricky: How do you know this, though? And for the record, that referee was still a little shaky. He let Fool’s Gold get away with so much crap…
LHS: It would’ve been worse without Rudy, Ric. Trust me on that. You do trust me, don’t you?
Ricky: Of course I do, ba- Lucy.
LHS: Good. Just focus on what happens inside the ring and let me handle everything else.
Ricky nods his head and sighs. Lucy picks up her phone again and resumes texting. Ricky looks around the house and quickly becomes anxious, rocking back and forth.
Ricky: So….any word on how much longer?
LHS: Just waiting on Rudy. I sent him to Atlantic City to dig up some dirt on our friend, Ms. Salvatore.
Ricky: What happened to the motion to move the match? No luck there?
LHS: I don’t know, Rudy said the courts were dragging their feet. We shifted focus a little bit - he’s hoping to get the match thrown out on the grounds that Maria should be in jail right now for her criminal activity.
Ricky: I have no idea what she did to deserve this match. And what is Sasha’s fascination with making me wrestle women? I hate having to lay my hands on them...I was raised better than that. I mean look, if Sasha wants to watch another one of her female superstars go down like Radical Regan, that’s on her. I can’t be held responsible for what I do to Maria in the ring if Sasha booked the match. But it just doesn’t make sense….something has to be up.
Lucy nods her head in agreement.
LHS: Ricky, this girl is a criminal. Of course something is up. Sasha isn’t going to book you one on one with Snooki and expect a fair match. There’s a plan here. She’s trying to screw us out of our title. If the courts can’t see that, Rudy will make sure the local authorities capture Maria before Thursday.
Ricky: Will he?
Lucy glares at Ricky, who quickly realizes he has begun questioning Lucy against her wishes.
Ricky: I mean…..will he have enough time? And speaking of...it’s getting pretty late. Aren’t you worried he’ll be coming back home soon?
Lucy chooses not to answer Ricky, who just alluded to someone else who lives at Lucy’s residence.
Ricky: How’s he doing, by the way?
Lucy’s face turns the familiar bright red we are used to seeing.
LHS: My personal life is my personal life, Ricky. How many times do we have to go through this?
Ricky: Well as your legal husband I just figured I’d have the right to know about this other guy…
Lucy literally jumps out of her seat, storms over to Ricky, and sticks her finger in his face.
LHS: For the last time, Ric, we are not married. We have a BUSINESS relationship and that is that. What or who I do in my spare time is none of your business, comprende?
Ricky: I’m just saying the State of Texas says…
LHS: Are we in Texas, Ric? No, we’re not. I don’t care what the State of Texas says. I did you a favor because I saw potential in you. We have made it a long way since then. Don’t ruin it with these stupid questions.
Ricky attempts to chime in but Lucy isn’t having it.
LHS: I don’t want to hear anything else from you other than “Yes, Lucy” until we shoot this Ratings Report. Got it?
Ricky bites his tongue and nods. Ricky then mockingly raises his hand to ask a question like a student in a classroom. Lucy sees this and rolls her eyes.
LHS: What, Ricky?
Ricky: May I please use the restroom?
LHS: Jesus Ric….yes. Just clean up after yourself. Maria won’t be in until tomorrow so you have to cover your own tracks.
Ricky: Salvatore?
LHS: No Ric, our maid is also Maria. It’s a common name for peasants.
Ricky: Oh, ha! Makes sense…
Ricky sits up and makes his way to the first floor bathroom as Lucy sits back down, eyes still glued to her phone. Ricky walks down the hallway and looks at the art on the walls. Amongst the art are family photos of Lucy, an unknown older white man, and several children. Ricky can’t help but stare at these photos. Ricky is well aware of Lucy’s other life, but it really hits home as he stands in Lucy’s house, likely owned by the man in the pictures. Sensing Ricky isn’t actually going to the bathroom, Lucy yells out to Ricky.
LHS: Hey, it ain’t a museum, Ric! Keep it moving!
Ricky takes one last look at the photos, which depict Lucy in a much different light - she looks genuinely happy in the photos, with expressions on her face Ricky rarely sees. Ricky sighs and then proceeds to the restroom.
Meanwhile back in New Jersey…
Olive Garden
Mays Landing, NJ
18 miles west of Atlantic City
Rudy Powell takes a seat in a booth meant for 6 people at the Olive Garden, a few minutes down the highway from the Pizza Hut where Rudy Powell just polished off a large pizza and four Mountain Dews. Rudy grabs two sets of silverware, putting one napkin on his lap and using another to wipe the sweat from his brow. The thick Olive Garden napkin is no match for the sweat and quickly becomes damp. A waitress approaches Rudy.
Waitress: Excuse me sir, are you expecting more people to join you?
Rudy scrambles and stutters while answering, which is becoming a familiar scene.
RP: I...i...i….well I spoke with the hostess and explained I have a condition, I need accommodations...I need this booth.
Waitress: Well alright then sir, that’s perfectly okay. Let me just take this extra silverware out of your way…
Rudy quickly grabs the extra sets of silverware.
RP: No no no I need these….I’m a...a bit of a messy eater, sorry.
Rudy awkwardly laughs as the waitress gives him the same perplexed look virtually everyone who meets Rudy gives him.
Waitress: Well sir we have plenty of napkins, I just figured you wouldn’t need six sets of silverware…
Rudy grins at the waitress, making her even more uncomfortable.
RP: As I said, I’m a messy eater….gotta make the dishwasher earn his paycheck, am I right?
Rudy again laughs while the waitress gives him the “Okay……….” look.
Waitress: Well sir, can I get you anything besides water to drink?
RP: Mountain Dew, light ice please.
Waitress: I’m sorry sir, we only serve Coke products here…
Rudy slams his hand down on the table, frightening the waitress. He takes a few moments to calm down before turning back to the waitress and flashing his trademark creepy grin.
RP: Well that’s unfortunate but alright, Dear. I’ll take two sweetened iced teas, please.
The waitress nods and quickly walks away before Rudy can say anything else. Rudy chuckles to himself and begins to look at the menu. It has become apparent the large pepperoni pizza wasn’t enough for him and he has come to Olive Garden for a second lunch. The waitress comes back a few minutes later with Rudy’s iced teas. She places them down as Rudy continues to look at the menu.
RP: So uh... I have to ask. You know a girl by the name of Maria?
Waitress: Maria what? Sir there are hundreds of-
RP: It’s something specific. You’d know her. Maria S…..S….Spaghetti and Meatballs, I’ll take an order of spaghetti and meatballs, please.
The waitress looks at Rudy like the complete psycho he is.
Waitress: Uh..sure thing.
The waitress walks away and rolls her eyes. Rudy sets down the menu and sucks down the iced tea, drops of sweat dripping into his drink. Rudy is flustered as his phone suddenly rings. He scrambles to answer his phone as “Lucy Huckabee Sanders” appears on his screen.
RP: Mr. Powell speaking…
LHS: Rudy! Any luck? Where are we at?
RP: Well Lucy, this one is a tough case to crack, but I’m on it.
Another waiter drops off some breadsticks to Rudy’s table. Rudy immediately puts an entire breadstick in his mouth and continues to talk to Lucy as he chews.
LHS: Well I was hoping you’d have some information by now...we have to shoot this ratings update in the next hour…
RP: *Indistinguishable chewing breadstick noise*
LHS: Rudy I can’t understand you. What the hell are you doing?
RP: Sorry Lucy, just stopping for a quick lunch here. But look, I think this Maria chick and her family are tied into the Democratic pedophile ring.
LHS: Oh????
RP: Yeah, a lot of shady activity over here. They open up these Italian joints all over the city as a front….give me another day or two here and I’ll get some answers.
LHS: Interesting….well, I need something quickly. Are we going with the child trafficking thing? Is that going to get her?
RP: Well you got those ratings reports I sent, right?
LHS: Yes, we got those. They look very similar to last week’s….
RP: Well you guys are a hit! Best thing on TV right now!
Lucy hears the sound of Rudy sucking down his second iced tea, which frustrates her, but she clearly shows a surprising amount of patience with Rudy, completely buying into his bullshit.
LHS: Well I guess that goes without saying….I was hoping we’d have some leads on Maria, though. Ricky should not have to be defending the title two weeks in a row…
RP: I hear ya, Lucy. If you want something juicy, you may want to mention her husband. Maleek Kareem Abdul Jabaar’s his name.
LHS: Wow, straight from the Taliban.
RP: Exactly, Lucy. Wouldn’t be surprised if there are ties there. This is a massive operation here, Lucy. Worldwide. Globalists. And it doesn’t surprise me that Shady Sasha is working with the terrorists. Those Commies always want the terrorists to win.
LHS: Son of a bitch...well, I’ll let you go. Please call me back ASAP with any new info you come across.
RP: Will do, Lucy. I’m digging pretty deep here…
Rudy says this as he sticks his hand in the basket of breadsticks, grabbing the last one and shoving it down his gullet.
LHS: I appreciate it, Rudy. We’ll see you Thursday!
RP: *More indistinguishable chewing sounds*
------------------------------------------------------------
Back in the home of Lucy Huckabee Sanders, Lucy and Ricky wait as Kellyanne and a camera crew finish setting up a makeshift press conference in the house’s workout room. The racks of dumbbells are covered with red, white, and blue pipe and drape. In front of the pipe and drape is the trademark “TSM” podium. Kellyanne scrambles to place a couple flags on either side of the podium. A professional camera is pointed at the podium, and the rest of the workout benches and other equipment have been pushed aside off camera.
LHS: Let’s go people, hurry it up! We have to get this done in one shot and be wrapped up and out of here in less than an hour!
Kellyanne: Does he know we are using this ro---
LHS: Kellyanne, did I ask you to start asking stupid questions?
Kellyanne: I uh….no, no you didn’t.
LHS: Good. The plan is to shoot this quickly and get out of here, leaving no traces of any of this behind. Can you handle that?
Kellyanne: Of course, Lucy! We’re just about ready.
Lucy nods and begins barking out orders.
LHS: OKAY PEOPLE! PLACES!
Lucy claps her hands as the crew finishes putting the room together. She turns back to see Ricky holding the television title over his shoulder.
LHS: Um, Ric?
Ricky: Oh come on, Lucy. We’re in your house, I think I’m safe to hold this here.
Lucy rolls her eyes and sighs.
LHS: Okay, we’ll compromise and put it down on the podium.
Lucy grabs the title from Ricky quickly before he can object and places it on the podium.
LHS: There, our title will be on display for the world to see. Now let’s do this, Ric.
Ricky shakes his head but follows Lucy behind the podium. The camera crew assume their positions, the main cameraman giving Lucy a countdown to behind.
Cameraman: In 5….4…..3…..2…..
LHS: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to a special Emergency Ratings Report. I am Lucy Huckabee Sanders, Official Press Secretary of SCW, here with your Champion of Television, Ricky James! Today we have another ratings report to share with you all. We will then address Shady Sasha’s latest act of negligence: placing Ricky James in a match with a criminal. But first, let’s take a look at the Official Ratings Report for the February 11th edition of Breakdown.
Lucy pulls out a sheet of papers that look eerily similar to previous ratings reports. In fact, Lucy completely overlooked the fact that the date on the report had been crossed out with a new date written underneath. This is very clearly visible on camera, but Lucy ignores it as she flips through the pages. She makes her way through to the line chart of the ratings, which is the exact same chart as last week. She notices Rudy has placed Post-It notes on the chart page and quickly turns the report back to her so the camera cannot see the notes. She takes a minute to look over them before not-so-casually ripping them off the paper and turning the paper back to the camera.
LHS: As you can see here, The Silent Majority once again dominated the ratings last week. Viewership peaked as Ricky James pinned an incapacitated Fool’s Gold in the middle of the ring to retain our Championship of Television. The ratings took an immediate nosedive when the Antifa/Communist Unit, Ashtray Hayes and Acid Trip Turner, took on the Psychocoms, Commie Dreams and Jihad Jordan Minors, in the Tag League Finals. The Tag League, another sham of a tournament from Shady Sasha, was probably the lowest rated set of matches in SCW history. Wildly unpopular, the Tag League almost completely destroyed SCW viewership. Fortunately for you all, The Silent Majority is here to save the ratings!
Kellyanne can be heard cheering loudly off camera. Lucy, clearly annoyed by Kellyanne, tries to keep her cool as she smiles and continues.
LHS: We could go on and on about the “Tag League”. We know why The Silent Majority wasn’t invited. We know it was just another plot to hand out titles to undeserving drug addicts and left wing lunatics. We watched the beautiful Bree Lancaster get screwed YET AGAIN. If I were Bree Lancaster - and I mean we are both equally beautiful - I would be demanding an investigation into this “Tag League” immediately. Bree, I know you are listening, so please don’t hesitate to call us if you need some legal counsel. The same goes for you, Sienna Swann.
Lucy does the “call me” motion to the camera.
LHS: Moving along….this week, for the first time in SCW history, Ricky James will have to defend our Championship of Television for the SECOND STRAIGHT WEEK. As we told you last week, we are working vigorously, 24 hours a day 7 days a week, to get this match thrown out. Our case may not be heard on time, but we have NEW EVIDENCE that cannot be ignored.
Lucy, for the first time that we have ever seen, pulls out a set of reading glasses and puts them on as she reviews another stack of papers.
LHS: Ladies and gentlemen, forget the fact that Maria Salvatore has done absolutely nothing noteworthy in SCW. Forget the fact that she does not deserve a title match. Forget the fact that this is likely yet another handout from Shady Sasha. Ladies and gentlemen, Maria Salvatore has no business being in SCW, let alone being in a Championship of Television match. Maria Salvatore is a criminal with a rap sheet longer than The Silent Majority’s list of SCW accomplishments. We are well aware of her illegal Mafia activity in Atlantic City. Well. Aware. I would highly suggest that anyone looking to gamble in Atlantic City think twice about it. The machines and tables there are rigged, more rigged than a Shady Sasha-booked match. Maria Salvatore is profiting directly off innocent tourists. But it’s worse than that, folks.
Lucy lowers and shakes her head.
LHS: We have reason to believe Maria Salvatore’s husband, Maleek Allahu Akbar, is linked to global terrorist organizations. This is a matter of national and global security, ladies and gentlemen. We do not have faith in Shady Sasha to keep us protected this week, so we have contacted federal authorities. Now we fully expect for this match to be thrown out, but we know you all want to hear from Ricky James. Here to comment on the match that likely will not happen, here is Ricky James!
Kellyanne can be heard applauding as Lucy steps back and Ricky steps forward.
Ricky: Thank you, Lucy. Look, everyone. I am a fighting champion, of course. Nobody fights harder than me. I do not have an issue defending my Championship of Television week after week, even if I am the only superstar to have ever done that in SCW history. I get it - Shady Sasha picks on me because she is jealous of my success. She is jealous of the success of The Silent Majority. And look, I think she can’t deny the ratings any longer. She knows people want to see The Silent Majority, so she has no choice but to book me every week. I actually get that.
Ricky pauses, lowers his head, and puts his fist out, taking a more serious tone.
Ricky: What I don’t get, however, is why Shady Sasha feels the need to put her Champion of Television in serious danger like this. Am I concerned about having to wrestle Maria Fedoratore? HELL NO! I’d be more concerned about her health after having to wrestle me. Look, you all know I am staunchly against laying my hands on a woman. I would never do that outside of the ring. Unfortunately, Shady Sasha and SCW condone the abuse of women. I am not held responsible for anything I do to Maria, or any woman for that matter, in an SCW ring. It has taken me some time, but I have finally come to terms with having to wrestle women in this promotion.
Ricky shakes his fist.
Ricky: No, I am not concerned about a woman half my size. What I AM concerned with is SCW’s vetting process. How do we let a criminal like Maria have a job here? She has links to the mafia. She may have links to a child sex trafficking ring. And today we find out her husband is likely linked to global terrorist organizations. Maria should not just be stripped of this opportunity and she should not just lose her job in SCW - she should be in jail!
Ricky slams his fist down on the podium.
Ricky: This match likely will not happen, folks. The evidence is overwhelming. I would not be surprised if Maria Mussolini is arrested within days, if not hours. Perhaps that will be a wakeup call for Shady Sasha. Or perhaps Shady Sasha will go to jail with her for harboring a fugitive. Whatever the case, I expect some fireworks this week.
Lucy nods her head in agreement behind Ricky. The cameraman looks at his watch and then signals for Ricky to wrap things up.
Ricky: I do not expect this match to take place this week. I really don’t. But if it does, Maria Stalinita is going to wish the match didn’t take place. I will not hold back. You have seen what I’ve done to Fool’s Gold, Tommy Valiumtime, and Bolshevik Blake in recent weeks. You’ve seen what I’ve done to Kelsai Antifa-Mason. It does not matter who steps in the ring with me. I take it personal when I’m in the ring with left-wing scum. Maria might be the worst of the bunch.
Ricky stares right into the camera and shakes his fist again.
Ricky: So Maria Sapranos...if that is your real name….I suggest you turn yourself in. One way or the other, your time in SCW is up. Just like in World War 2, be it this Thursday on Breakdown or before then in a courtroom, the Proud Patriots will take down the Evil Italians. That is a promise.
Ricky continues to stare and shake his fist into the camera as Lucy steps forward again.
LHS: Thank you all for tuning in today. With your Champion of Television, Ricky James, I am Lucy Huckabee Sanders, Official Press Secretary of SCW. We are The SIlent Majority, for a better SCW!
Lucy and Ricky hold their fists up as the cameraman counts them down, slowly turning his camera off. Once Lucy gets clearance, she lowers her arm and resumes barking orders.
LHS: ALRIGHT PEOPLE! LET’S GET OUT OF HERE IN FIVE MINUTES! MOVE!
Kellyanne and the crew scramble to get everything taken down, presumably before the man who lives with Lucy gets home. Lucy is quick to grab the television title and drape it over her shoulder. She signals for Ricky to follow her.
Ricky: Just a sec, Luce. I’ll be right there.
Lucy rolls her eyes and storms out of the room. Ricky waits a moment to make sure Lucy is out of sight. He then pulls a small piece of paper out of his pants pocket and places it between two dumbbells on the rack behind the pipe and drape, without any crew members noticing. He then hurries out of the room to catch up to Lucy as the crew continue to quickly break down the set.