03-01-2021, 11:27 AM
03-06-2021, 12:21 AM
The Dark Side of the Sun
Somewhere above the Atlantic Ocean…
February 26, 2021
3:34am
Her eyes opened to darkness and her body sprung up from instinct. She wasn’t sure which direction was up and which was down or left or right. She wanted to scream but her voice ran back into her throat as her senses slowly awakened from the nightmare that had plagued her, the haze remaining heavy in her mind.
For a time, she wasn’t sure how long, she just sat there in the dark, looking at nothing but darkness as she listening to the rapid beating of her heart. Similar images – she was used to waking up like this from them at this point – demons, failures, weaknesses – all related to her in some way, either personal or professional.
Slowly, she felt her breathing slow down, as did her heart, her eyes adjusting in the darkness enough to spot the small nightlight in the corner of the room, offering little illumination but enough to guide her from her room to the adjoining bathroom. With a sigh that was barely a whisper, the young woman pulled the covers off her lithe form, the thick materials pushed to the side to allow her to swing her legs over the bed and onto the floor. She felt a slight tilt, as if the world was moving around her, but she immediately recognized it for what it was.
It told her they were still in the air, still travelling across the ocean to Germany – to Deanna and her children.
It was something Selena was actually unsure about. She hadn’t returned to Germany in weeks – even missing her monthly conjugal visit with her wife – which she still felt guilty for.
Shaking her head, the young wrestler stumbled into the bathroom, trying to rub the haze out of her eyes and mind with her hand, the other seeking the faucet to turn the water on in the sink to its coldest setting. Reaching her pale hands into the water, she felt the cold on her skin – relishing in the feeling. Cupping them together, she splashed a bit on her face, the sensation feeling good, and something she needed in that moment. A few more times to ease and calm herself further, and her hand reached over to turn the faucet off while the other reached for a towel that she knew was there, grasping the fabric to dry her face slowly.
I’m tired… her mind whispered as she held the cloth to her face and stood to her full height. Just so tired…
Yet her heart jumped again as she pulled the towel away from her face, allowing her to see – and recoil – from her reflection in the mirror. There, in the dimly lit room, she could see her features hadn’t changed much. Her eyes were a little puffy from the lack of sleep but that wasn’t what grabbed her attention.
Her eyes were fixated on the short, platinum-blonde hair that didn’t even reach the tops of her shoulders. For a moment, her mind screamed in alarm, demanding to know where the rest of her hair was – the hair that made her a Frost…
It always happened like this, on nights where she would forget due to the haziness of sleep and nightmares – her memory would slip a little and as she stood there, pale hands grasping the porcelain sink so tightly, the skin turned red and yellow in various places, she willed herself to relax – or try to – to tell herself why the reflection in the mirror – who didn’t look like ‘Selena Frost’ to her – was actually her. It didn’t take long to remember, allowing her to breath a little easier once more, but still, as one hand slowly detached itself from the white sink, it ran up towards the chopped hair to run its fingers through its shorter locks.
She hadn’t thought twice about the decision – and that was something that both alarmed her, but also seemed like a rather ‘DUH!’ moment. Malcolm had made a demand of personal victory. He wanted to, in his mind, be the victor in whatever ‘war’ had existed between him and Selena. He wanted some kind of ‘victory’ for himself – Selena had seen the aspects of ‘damaged ego’ before in people like Xander Valentine and Bree Lancaster when it came to being beaten by her – and the depths they would go to “get even” or maintain some semblance of ‘face’. In that way, compared to Bree pretending her loss to Selena ‘didn’t count’ and Xander attacking fans, Malcolm’s had been far more… was it right to say ‘smarter’? More ‘planned out’. She had gone for something personal to Selena and only Selena. For something that would stay with her.
Again, Selena ran a hand through her short hair, as if the act could somehow stimulate the hairs to regrow back to the length they once were. She had acted without hesitation, grabbing that letter opener and slicing the braid off her with a series of strong slashes. All to get the the USB drive that Malcolm and Talia had been certain ‘held the information to free Deanna…”
And in that had been the source of Selena’s lack of hesitation. Even in that moment, as she stared into the mirror, at herself, part of her wondering what her family would think – her father, Donovan, her grandmother, Irina, those that had raised her to take pride in the ‘specialness’ of her hair – she could still feel that same ‘certainty’.
“It was for the woman I love more than anything.” She whispered, the same thing she told herself every time she saw herself in the mirror or saw the shocked expressions of those that spotted her for the first time. She knew both her father and grandmother would have understood. While she loved her hair, loved how different it was from everyone else, she simply loved Deanna more.
She loved that woman with every fiber of her being. Every thought in her head would eventually come back to Deanna. Every goal, every dream, it eventually came back to that little redhead…
Yet, for all that love, Selena had avoided her since visiting Nome, Alaska…
She had told herself that it was because of “the plan”. That she was busy trying to use what new information she had to get Deanna out of prison – but that was a lie and Selena knew it – she couldn’t deny it there, alone, anymore than she could deny the shortness of her hair.
Stumbling back, Selena felt her neck and the bare part of her shoulders that her magenta nightgown didn’t cover, touch the cold tiles of the wall, allowing her to sink down onto the floor, her head lowering to her knees, a position she had occupied ever since that gauntlet match.
In truth, she was afraid to go back to Germany because she was afraid of fate.
For so many years, she had been forced to take her life into her own hands. With her father disappearing, her abusive step-mother, the world she knew in Nome hating her simply because she was different, Selena had never believed fully in ‘destiny’ or ‘loving gods’ beyond those that saw the world as a plaything like the Norse gods had in mythology.
But Deanna had changed that – or at least had shattered her cold resolve on that. How a woman from Nome managed to become a wrestler, well that was one thing, something Selena could have done anywhere. The fact that her bus happened to suffer a flat tire, which brought her to the one small town in Kentucky that needed her to ‘be at an auction for charity’ and that the one person in all the world that could make shatter her world’s views would be there and ‘win her’?
Even Selena had conceded, long enough, that there was something more to her life and her meeting Deanna. More than mere ‘no one is listening’ or ‘no one is helping me’.
She couldn’t just be cold and hating to the world like it had been to her, not when it gave her the most amazing person and that person LOVED her unconditionally.
But unfortunately, that meant that, along with the good, fate was going to get its kicks in, too. And, over the years, and more so since last year to now, Selena had learned that, much like the gods she spoke of, fate could be both kind and cruel.
And cruel it had been.
From last year’s Rise to Greatness to this moment, every time she had tried to make good on something, make a goal a reality, fate had stepped in crush her in the worst way.
She had wanted to make Xander accountable for his actions once more: the man had brutalized her in their match, at least in the eyes of SCW.
She had wanted to win the tag league with her sister, Regan: Regan had been injured and taken out, making that impossible.
She had wanted to finish what Frozen Hell had started in that Tag League by teaming with Glory Braddock: Not only had Selena failed in the first round, but she had been the one pinned.
She had wanted to try and… she sighed as she kept her head on her knees… she hadn’t believed she could win the gauntlet match and hadn’t entered with any delusions, but she had wanted to stand strong – show the world that she wasn’t weak. Wasn’t some pushover that had lost ‘the knack’ or whatever they called it. Wanted to just…just… just be Selena Frost again, the singles wrestler… And by fate’s design, she hadn’t even gotten out of one match – hell, she was the first person to lose in that gauntlet match…
Failure after failure after failure after failure. Being little more than a punching bag to Infamous now or, perhaps, the damsel in distress that needed David Helms to save her…
“This is not who I am…” her voice whispered, and yet, she didn’t have any evidence to disprove it. She hadn’t even been able to do anything to protect Talia from whoever took the lawyer off the road in that car accident.
Every time she made a plan or a promise, she seemed to just fail in the worst possible way. It was why she had hesitated to go back to Germany right away. What if this didn’t work? What if, just because it was her and fate seemed to want to be as it was right now, the information on the USB drive led to nothing…
She felt the platinum-blonde strands shift a little as she shook her head. It would take months, maybe even years, for her hair regrow back to what it once was. What if it was all for nothing? Like the promises she made in SCW?
She felt her teeth bite down on her lower lip as her hands tried to crush themselves in their own grip. Why? she mentally asked harshly. Why can’t there be a moment of compassion? A moment of success? A moment where I don’t hate myself? Or feel like a failure? Or feel worthless?!
In a way, she almost hated David Helms’ words of ‘advice’. Telling her to ‘get her head on right’ or some tripe like that. It was easy for him to say. From the second that David Helms had re-entered SCW fully, he had been met with success. In his return year, he had won the Trios Tournament, the Taking Hold of the Flame Royale and then headlined the main-event of Rise to Greatness: A goal Selena had tried to do since she first won the World title at the end of 2016. Yes, he had suffered an injury, and had lost the title to Bree Lancaster in that unification match…
Quickly, Selena stopped the train of bitter thoughts. She couldn’t think like that. David was suffering too. He had Regan to think about. He had his own kids and his new wrestling school…
No… Selena shook her head again… she knew where her true frustrations lay. At herself. There was just something she was missing. Something that kept her from being able to go that ‘extra mile’ to get the win or stand tall or whatever goal she set-up for herself. Always something…always changing…
But I’m just tired of it… just so tired of it…
The thought had sat within her mind for so long, building up each and every week as the weights of the world bore down on her, drawing her closer and closer to the same ‘what if’ conclusion. The way to end one aspect of it once and for all…
Again, Selena felt her head shake, this one more out of instinct. She needed to refocus. She needed to stop looking back and keep looking ahead. Hadn’t that been what she had promised herself last week? To let go of the past and just focus on what was ahead? What good was it to dwell on the things she couldn’t change?
She couldn’t change that she had failed over and over again. It was done, meaning she had to look ahead. And what if the USB was a dud? She’d eventually get her hair back, and besides, it wouldn’t change anything if it was worthless. But on the small chance that Malcolm and Talia were right… even if it was a 1% chance of getting Deanna home and into her arms forevermore? It would always be worth it.
Slowly lifting her head up, Selena rested it back against the wall, breathing slowly and quietly as she sat on the bathroom floor. She wouldn’t be in Frankfurt for several hours, at least not until they opened the prison for visitors.
I wonder what Deanna will think…
*************************************************
“HOLY CAT ON A HOT TIN ROOF!!” exclaimed the redhead as she ran across the enclosed field to where Selena stood.
Hey…something like that… Selena thought as she smiled brightly at her stunned wife, who, despite the surprised expression, did not stop running until she was jumping at Selena, the latter of whom just managing to catch her into her arms and hold her tight.
“Hey, pet.” Selena whispered, feeling the peace and contentment wash over her at her having her wife in her arms. “Sorry I took so long to get back… I had… things to take care of…”
Quickly, Deanna jerked her head back, remaining in Selena’s arms as the two stood in the prison ‘playpen’, one of the places they were allowed to walk during Selena’s visits.
“Uh-huh…” the redhead remarked, her emerald eyes locked at the glaring change of her wife. “Was one of those things a date with a weed-whacker?” Immediately, the shorter woman’s hands sprung up from their place around Selena’s neck to run through her hair.
“Hey!” Selena replied, feigning hurt. “I think they did an okay job…”
It had definitely been a sight to behold that week. While most of SCW had been abuzz with the gauntlet, easily one of the most match-backed Breakdowns in recent history, the Snow Queen had certainly turned a few heads when she had arrived, the sight of her with shorter hair something nobody had seen in her entire career in SCW. Still, she did have to explain it to Sasha – as it was an ‘extreme attire change’ in the eyes of herself as a wrestler. Still, Sasha had bigger things to worry about than Selena and her hair and had, upon hearing the reasons as ‘personal’ excused Selena, sending her to the makeup and hair department of SCW “fix what looked like a hack job”. The result was Selena’s first real haircut that she could remember, the stylist fixing the length to be more eye-catching.
“What happened?” the voice came from Deanna and had replaced the shock with concern, her fingers ceasing their adventuring in Selena’s scalp to gently hold the sides of her face with the fingertips. “Was it work? Did someone make you?”
“That’s…” Selena sighed slowly, leaning in to press a soft kiss to her wife’s forehead. “That’s two different questions…”
Deanna stood there, awaiting a further explanation, the Frankfurt wind warmer than it had been the last few times Selena had visited, though she felt it more acutely in certain places. Her eyes took in the familiar blue prison uniform Deanna wore, the prisoner number the same: 14523, it all a stark contrast to her leather jacket, black jeans and maroon shirt underneath.
It made sense that Deanna would think Selena’s short hair was ‘work-related’. Twice in her career of SCW, once with Dawn Lohan and the other with Vixen Cain, her hair had, in some form, been on the line. The reasoning had been the same. The world knew of Selena’s attachment to her hair as part of her identity, so that was seen as the best way to ‘get to her’ in some way. And, of course, Deanna knew that Selena would never have willingly cut her hair, so, logic would dictate…
Logic… Selena thought with some amusement. How many times in her life had logic not played a part?
“It wasn’t work, sweetheart.” Selena finally answered, reaching up to take Deanna’s hands into hers, bringing them down with hers. “It was… something I had to do.”
“It…it wasn’t Regan was it?” the questions surprised Selena.
“No! Of course not.” Selena shook her head.
“I’m sorry!” Deanna quickly replied. “Just… you two were talking about tattoos and the tag league and… I’m just not really understanding.” Deanna tilted her head. “Was it something you wanted to do?”
A sad smile came to Selena’s lips as she reached up to caress her wife’s face. “It was something I had to do.” She answered. “Because there’s a chance…a small one, Deanna… that it can get you out of here.”
Emerald eyes widened at that statement, though they were still laced with confusion. “Do I…” she tried. “Do I use your hair as a rope and climb over-“
Selena had to laugh at that. She had no choice. Trust her wife to be ridiculous for the sake of the platinum-blonde. “Even if that was the plan, I never had that much hair to…” she laughed a bit more. “No, I…”
The young Frost sighed as she settled down, turning a bit to stand at Deanna’s side, taking the redhead’s arm to allow them to walk together along the grassy, cool area, ignoring the guards that watched them from various posts.
“Talia kept digging and digging.” She explained. “And she found something rather off about Fredric Castle. The man who-“
“I know who he is.” Deanna explained. “I hadn’t really heard that name in over a year, but I’ll never forget it.”
“Right.” Selena nodded. “Well, anyway, what she found out…” Selena held her breath, nervousness gripping her. “We think it might be enough to prove your innocence and get you out.”
“R…Really?”
In Deanna’s eyes, perhaps for the first time, Selena saw something shine within them. Something she instantly recognized – and dreaded… hope. There was no mistaking it as the redhead stood there, grasping onto Selena’s arm like it was a lifeline. But instead of feeling her with joy, Selena only felt dread. In a second, she realized just how resigned to her fate Deanna had become and how she had, deep down, given up the notion of leaving the prison before her sentence was served. But now? That hope was back in Deanna’s eyes – making Selena all the more scared that she would fail her wife…. Like she had failed everyone else.
“Maybe.” She tried. “Talia’s been digging through the information and… from what she’s told me… there’s much more to Castle than we thought.”
“Like what?” Deanna asked. “And how does your hair play into it?”
“Which one do you want to hear first?” Selena asked as she guided Deanna to a nearby bunch, the two sitting down near the fences.
“Your hair.” Deanna answered without hesitating. “It’s about you so…”
“Right.” Selena nodded her head curtly, looking away towards the prison. “Well, the information I’m talking about, due to a series of unfortunate events, ended up in the hands of our old ‘friend’, Malcolm Scythe…”
“Oh no…” Deanna whispered, understanding dawning within her features.
“Right.” Selena nodded. “And you know him. Nothing is ever free. So…”
With her free hand, Selena pointed to the back of her hair and gave a ‘slickt’ sound to represent the ‘cutting’ aspect of her deal with Malcolm.
“That…” Deanna shook her head. “Did you know that this information would work?”
“I still don’t know.” Selena answered honestly, admitting, “I was terrified of telling you because I still don’t know if this will lead to anything. Malcolm says it will and Talia is sure of it.”
“But you… you didn’t know….” Deanna deduced. “You gave up…on a whim….”
Quickly, Selena jerked her head, sapphire eyes blazing fire into Deanna’s emerald orbs. “Of course I did!” she stated sharply in a whisper. “Of course I would.” She added. “Are you surprised? After everything?”
Slowly, Deanna’s mouth clenched shut, the younger girl slowly shaking her head before speaking. “I just wish you’d never have to give so much for me.” She answered guiltily, causing the Snow Queen to lean in, kissing her wife’s temple gently.
“That’s what love is, Deanna.” She stated, pressing her forehead against the space her lips had just touched. “Amidst everything in this crazy… cruel…” the words were harsh coming from Selena. “unfair world… you’re my constant.” She sighed, feeling her wife tilt her head to press against her own. “Loving you… it’s the only sure thing in my life. I never doubt it. Never question it. And if fate – the gods or whoever – make me pay for it for the rest of my life… I wouldn’t care.” A sigh escaped her lips. “If the only good thing this life gives me is you and our children… then I’ll be its punching bag for the rest of my life to pay it back.”
The bold statement, raw in its emotion and vulnerability, left both women trembling a little, though for different reasons. Still, Selena’s eyes remained closed as she felt Deanna’s small hand press into her cheek, soft lips firmly capturing her own. Selena didn’t need to open her eyes to react to the kiss. She was a pro at this point in her life (when it came to ‘kissing Deanna Frost’). Still, when she felt tears fall onto her face – tears that weren’t her own – she gently broke the kiss to open her eyes and wipe them from her wife’s face.
“I love you.” Deanna whispered, opening her eyes as well.
“I love you too.” Selena replied.
The two sat there in silence, content in simply holding one another, for a good hour, neither moving and neither asking anything of the other. Still, as Selena felt her wife’s head on her shoulder, she knew her redhead, the energetic being that she was, couldn’t keep up the silence for much longer.
“So…” came the inevitable voice. “What did you find on Castle?” Deanna asked.
“Well…” Selena tried. “From what Talia has told me – and that isn’t much, mind you – we’re dealing with –“
She stopped as she suddenly heard several sounds coming from her pocket, indicating her cellphone. It had been the only thing she had brought to her visit, and with the guards watching her – and knowing her after over a year and a half of visits – she had been allowed to keep it on her. Still, she was somewhat surprised to hear the ‘text message’ indication sound, followed by another… and another… and another…
“Someone’s popular.” Teased her wife, who stuck her tongue out playfully at the platinum-blonde.
“Yeah…but everyone at the castle knows not to bother me when I’m with you.” Selena stated in confusion as she slowly dug the phone out of her pocket, opening it to see what the issue was…
And feeling her blood run cold as she read:
Mommy! Help! HELP!
***************************************************
Schonburg Castle
Oberwessel, Germany
She had never driven the hour and a half supposed travel from Frankfurt to Oberwessel. Nothing had prompted her to use every shortcut she knew (and knowing which were not really monitored by police). True, there were times when she was wanting to get to Deanna faster where she was prompted to get a little over the speed limit down the quieter, shorter, less observed country roads.
But nothing like this had ever prompted her to barrel down the streets with her foot usually pushed onto the gas pedal so hard, the damn thing touched the floor of the car. The risk of a crash never occurred to her for a second. She hadn’t considered the risks of travelling so fast. All that mattered to her was that gripping fear of reading her daughter’s text messages – pleas of help and danger.
The first had been a simple cry, but as Selena had rifled through them with Deanna, the alarm became clear. Something was happening back at the castle!
In that moment…in that second – Selena and Deanna had shared a look – the same kind. All Deanna had to say was one word and Selena was gone: “Go.”
The urgency Deanna had said it, no hesitation, prompting the older woman to do what she could not due to her confinement – it was fuel to the fire. Yet, for all of that, the dread would not leave Selena:
Elsianna would never text her something like this as a “joke” or a “prank”.
She would never have bothered her mother with something that either Gunther, Margarette, Gerda could help her with, such as homework.
And for all of that – the conclusions her mind was conjuring up – all she could feel was that she wasn’t getting to the castle fast enough, even as she blazed past the township sign, welcoming her to Oberwessel. All she could do was feel the panic gripping her chest and clawing at her insides.
A pain that didn’t subside as her car rode up the hill and she spotted the flashing lights of the police vehicles parked in front. Without thinking, she parked her car to the side and jumped out of her car, running as fast as her legs could carry her. Her eyes spotted the ambulance (not so different than American ones) also parked nearby, but it didn’t slow her down. She simply kept running into the main entrance of the castle, where guests would enter to check-in, her words loud and ringing through the rooms.
“ELSA? DAVID? AMI? GERDA? GUNTHER?” she ran off every single name of every single occupant she knew to be in this residence, moving past the seating area and into the halls that lead to the eating areas. Only there did she stop as she spotted the occupants.
Sitting in various chairs, mostly huddled together, was her son David, Gerda (who was holding little Amiliah), and Margarette. Near them stood two officers in uniform, speaking with Gunther, the old caretaker of the castle clutching his neck and rubbing it with a withered hand. All heads turned to Selena as she entered the room.
“Mom!” called out David, her second born jumping off the chair he sat on to rush into Selena’s arms, the mother scooping him up to carry him, relief partially filling her.
“David – thank Odin…” she whispered, kissing the boy’s forehead before checking him over. “Are you hurt? Are you alright-“
“We’re all fine.” Answered Gunther.
“What happened?” Selena asked before turning her head around the room. “Where’s Elsianna? And Talia?”
There was a moment of silence before Gerda, Selena’s neighbour and dear friend – the caretaker of her children when Selena couldn’t be – spoke up.
“We haven’t found her or Talia yet.”
Selena felt the color drain out of her face, no doubt giving her an even more pale appearance. She was about to rush off and check the halls when a stiff hand grabbed hers, keeping her in place. She felt the wrinkled, calloused, yet strong, grip of the veteran Gunther, his usual “pleasant and jovial” expression cold and calculating, like a soldier’s.
“Calm down, Selena.” He ordered, his other hand still on his neck. “We haven’t done a thorough check of the rooms yet…”
“Why not?” Selena asked, failing to stay calm. “What happened?! I don’t-“
The officer closest to her spoke quickly in German, Selena only able to pick up a few words. A quick bark from Gunther about using English around her and the same officer quickly cleared his throat before speaking again.
“I said, ‘please calm down’. There is no more danger.”
“How do you know that?!” Selena asked, eyes wide.
“Because the first thing we did was sweep the perimeter and-“
Gunther interjected. “Because whoever did this fled as soon as they heard the police sirens coming up the hill.”
“Did you catch any of them?” Selena asked, eyes back on the cop.
“Three, but none are talking and we don’t know how many there were.”
Releasing a shaky breath, Selena looked around the room. “Can I…please let me go look for my daughter. You can explain the rest to me later.”
The officer gave a nod before insisting another one, this one a woman, shorter than Selena, accompany the platinum-blonde. The two were off in a rush – or as fast as Selena as permitted to go – the woman travelling through the halls and floors and stairs, calling out for Elsianna. Her logic was that ‘checking very room one by one, even if they had Gunther’s keys’ would take hours – and unless the invaders had picked the lock, they only way that they would get in was to break the door down-
A fact that made Selena’s heart stop as she reached the second floor of room and spied the interior of Talia’s room, the door having been broken into and discarded onto the inside floor. Quickly, Selena hopped over the door and stood within the space, calling out the missing names.
“Elsianna?! Talia?!” her voice echoed into the room but no response was given. The room, itself, was a tragic mess – and that was saying something considering how Talia kept it. True, things were often discarded or left lying around, but before, it always seemed like ‘organized chaos’ to Selena. The kind where you dare not touch it because it would ruin the order that the occupant had (whatever it was). However, the mess that her eyes took in looked nothing like that – there was nothing organized about it. It was simply chaos. Like a tornado had ripped through the room with no objective other than to destroy everything. Papers where ripped into pieces, the computer was smashed to kingdom-come, there was clothes tossed on the floor/closets emptied…
She heard the crunching of paper under her shoes as she took a scan of the area once more before her eyes settled on the window, a mixture of clear and distorted glass (based on design). She could see the gardens outside the window, the fields of grass and some flowers that were still managing to survive despite the tumultuous weather the winter had brought about. However, once her eyes settled on the building beyond that, a spark of realization hit her.
“I know where she is…” Selena whispered before bolting out of the room, nearly running into the female officer that followed her. This time, when she was prompted to slow and calm down, she refused to listen, instead continuing to run down the steps, out the closest door and entering the garden – though she did not stop there. Her legs kept moving her long the cobblestone pathway, down and around until she stood outside the towering precipice of building – the tower. The tower she had not visited since her last with Nicodemus… before his death and Deanna’s arrest…
For the briefest of seconds (milliseconds to anyone else), time slowed and Selena could swear she heard the old man’s voice and saw his face – smiling that tired smile at her. I’m just an old tiger…sensing my end… the voice echoed in Selena’s mind, causing her to feel… it wasn’t her age but perhaps understand more of what the old man had meant…
The moment passed quickly and she was suddenly leaping up the stairs a few at a time. “Elsianna?!” she called out every few steps until she had burst into the ‘museum’ section of the tower, where models and plaques with explanations were.
“Snowflake?!” Selena called out once more…
And then, only then, did a small figure emerge from behind the display stand of a suit of armor.
“M…Mother?” The child looked out before instantly running to meet her mother, Selena, as with her son, wrapping the child in her arms and holding her tight.
“Gods, I was so worried.” The woman half-cried, keeping her hands on her daughter as she hugged her tight, a few tears sliding down her cheeks. She didn’t give a damn if she looked like a blubbering mess. Her family was safe, that was all that mattered. Quickly disengaging from the embrace, Selena quickly checked over the small eight-year old, checking her face and body in her motherly way. “Are you hurt? Did you-“
“I’m okay, mom.” Elsianna nodded, though she quickly shuffled in to once more hug her mother, practically clinging to her. Despite her age and being the biggest of the children due to that age, Selena still had no issues lifting her up.
“What happened?” she asked, practically cradling her daughter gently.
“I can explain that.”
The voice came from the further within the tower’s room. Selena breathed a sigh of relief as she saw Talia emerge from the shadows, limping a little due to the lingering injuries of her car accident.
“Glad you’re alright.” Selena sighed, keeping hold of her daughter.
“Yeah-“ the dark-haired woman gestured to Elsianna. “Kid had a great plan.”
The child chimed in, though her voice still shook from the shock of the event. “You told us that if there was ever any danger, to run and hide in the tower.”
Selena nodded her head. She had almost forgotten the ‘emergency plan’ as they hadn’t used it once since they moved here over a year and a half ago (since Deannna’s arrest). The tower was their go-to to hide and stay safe. But of course Elsianna would recall it just like that… Selena smiled at her bright young daughter. “I’m very proud of you, snowflake.” She beamed, kissing her daughter’s cheek, before returning her attention to Talia. “So what happened?”
“What do you think?” Talia shrugged, leaning against one of the stone walls.
“Robbers?”
“Please.” laughed Talia. “Come on, Selena.”
“I really don’t know.” Selena huffed, her frustration at Talia growing. The woman couldn’t just give her a clear answer?
“Okay, let me put it this way. A bunch of robbers that only go after one room?”
“What?” Selena asked.
“Did you check my room?”
“Yes.” Selena nodded as she heard steps from behind, the officer that had been following her finally catching up to her. “What about it?”
“Anything stand out?”
“Talia, please-“ Selena warned. “I’ve just had the scare of my life – to the point that, if my hair wasn’t white already, it would be now. Just tell me what the hell you are talking about-“
“I think she means…” the officer interjected, trying to control the situation. “The obvious fact that simple robbers would have gone after every room on every floor that they could…”
Selena’s eyes widened, taking the hint at long last. “But they only went for Talia’s…” she recalled from her search of Elsianna.
“Which means?” Talia sighed.
“That you had something they wanted.”
“And what have we most recently discovered or possessed that would fit that description?”
It took one a few seconds for Selena to put that part together:
The phone call of warning months ago, telling Talia to stay off the case.
The car accident that put the lawyer in the hospital.
Now this?
“They were after the files on Castle…” Selena whispered, looking down at her daughter.
The lawyer gave a nod as the officer nearby called for another fellow cop to join them, to help Talia down the stony steps, Selena not wanting to release her hold on her child.
Several minutes later, with the help of the officers, Talia was taken back to her room, telling Selena that she needed to speak to the platinum-blonde about a serious matter when this was all concluded… though Selena could only nod her head in understanding at that, whatever it was that Talia wanted to say. For Selena, herself, she simply stood in the garden, her beloved Elsianna in her arms.
“Mother?” the child called out, but Selena couldn’t give any response…
Her mind was too busy burning with realizations. While she despised that her family had been endangered once more, the question was ‘why’?
Why would someone call Talia and threaten her to ‘stay off the case’?
Why would someone try and take Talia out of the equation through a car accident?
Why would someone target Talia’s room for the information they had acquired at the cost of Selena’s hair?
And at the end of every question, Selena mentally added the phrase “if the information was useless”, the fear that had rooted itself in her mind since she had sliced the braid off her head – every time she looked in the mirror or looked into her wife’s eyes and tried to explain what was happening.
Why go to all this trouble… all this pain… for useless information? Unless… unless…
Malcolm was right…
Talia was right…
The information wasn’t useless…
It DID contain the means to free Deanna…
Selena tightened her arms gently around her daughter, holding her tight. And if all of that was true…
There was no way in hell I am going to let any of it go…
_______________________________________________________________
The camera fades in to reveal the young Selena Frost sitting within what appears to be a changeroom inside an arena. She is dressed in blue jeans and a purple sweater, her platinum-blonde hair styled beautifully despite its shortness.
Members of Infamous… her tone is sharp and somewhat commanding as she sits against a leather couch, one leg crossed over the other, showing the black heels she wears.
You know what? You would think that, perhaps, I would mind my words with the match that I’m soon to have – that being against your leader and supposed “Alpha Female” and “Best Wrestler in the World”, Syren…
I mean, let’s look at it this way: aside from all the mouthing off you’ve done, Ravyn, which, let’s face it, hasn’t proven a damn thing, I’m talking about the more recent acts.[size=undefined] She runs a hand against her temple, absentmindedly tucking a few strands of white hair behind her ear.[/size]
After the gauntlet match, you lead me into a trap – and against a smarter person like David Helms, it wouldn’t have worked, but you clearly knew your target in this instance – and beat me down backstage. The week after? Well, every single member of Infamous was closed in around me. What was it? Seven to one? The Snow Queen shakes her head.
And I’ve had a lot of time to think about that. To process my thoughts in that moment and look back on the events and ask myself why I feel the way I do about all of this.
Swinging her leg off her the other to place it firmly on the ground, she leans forward a little towards the camera. I’ll start off with anger and frustration. That sound reasonable? I was frustrated that I had been so fooled and lead into an obvious trap. Angry that, yeah, I got duped. More so, while you lot complain about ‘conspiracies’ and being ‘held back’, I was frustrated that I failed.
That seems to be a word that you can’t handle, Syren. ‘Failure’. It’s always ‘some kind of conspiracy’ with you, isn’t it? Someone out to get you? Someone acting against you on the board or something like that? Instead of the plain and simple “I messed up”, isn’t it?[size=undefined] [/size]
Selena shakes her head.
And yet, you’re given the chance to become the World Champion! I didn’t get Ace’s mindsight for choosing half the people he did, including me, and I could get Cookie saying she wasn’t ready to compete for the World title – but you?! she scoffs.
How much are we supposed to believe that, Syren? That it wouldn’t have mattered one way or another? That was your logic? Come on! You’re goddamn Syren! How many times have you won that belt ‘by hook or crook’? How many times have your cried to ‘get it back’ or ‘give me a title shot’? Now one falls into your lap and you refuse to compete? You refuse to go for it?! Pale hands tighten into fists.
What was it, Syren? Were you “too good” to compete in such a match? Or are we dealing with the fact that you were just too afraid? Were you like me, Syren, on that night? Afraid of not only losing, but failing to do anything of significance? Of being lost in the crowd of other competitors?
Selena’s hands relax as she give a slight nod, in somewhat understanding. It was a reasonable fear… I felt it. Felt it down in my bones. Like a winter’s chill. It’s… it’s hard… A sigh escapes her lips.
It’s hard now. To be in a career where “beating Selena Frost” can be such a bigger feat than “Selena Frost beating _____”. Xander Valentine got destroyed by two women, ‘but it was by Selena Frost and Regan Street’. The United States Champion before him survived a two on one assault to win the US title, ‘but it was “Selena Frost”’….
And you try… you try to be worthy of that status as it gets harder and harder. You try and be worthy of the admiration and respect that people hold for you… but as you raise the bar, the standard of SCW, it never goes back down. You have to keep competing at that level. Keep driving forward. Keep trying to match it or surpass it… And if you don’t…[size=undefined] the Face of SCW slowly relaxes against the couch, her gaze a little far away as she continues to speak.[/size]
You feel like a failure… like you’ve let the world down… let yourself down… because you’ve done more… been more…
Quickly, she snaps her attention back to the camera. But the difference is, Syren? I faced that fear! Just like I’ve faced it every time I’ve come back to an arena during this ‘rut’ of mine. I’ve faced it over and over again, endured every emotional break down, tears-shed, everything. You? You ran from it – just like you’ve always run from it. You cover it up with denials, excuses. You make up for your shortcomings as a wrestler by having your posse attack en masse practically every night! Again, Selena shakes her head in disbelief.
What happened to the Syren, Zoe, that use to fight in that ring for what she believed in, huh? What happened to the Syren, Zoe, whether she was the most loved or hated woman in SCW, that would walk into a show and didn’t need Ravyn or CHBK or Alexandre Crowe or the rest of Infamous to get the job done? What happened to the Syren that held the world title, not by some grandiose plan behind the scenes, but because she was truly ‘better’ than everyone else on the roster?
She shrugs. Maybe I want to find that Syren again so I can beat her, like I’ve been trying to find that old Selena Frost. To let go of the past’s hold on me and be the woman I’ve always been. Because, despite my desire to, I didn’t get a chance to find her in that gauntlet match. I didn’t have the opportunity to dig deep and push myself to the limits. To push myself past those limits. I was outwrestled. Simple as that. It was the result you feared for yourself, shared by many like Bree and Ace and even, despite her own ‘promises’, Ravyn. And after the beatdown your group gave me, Syren, after the frustration and anger faded away, I was left feeling lost and defeated.
A sad smile crosses the young woman’s lips. That seems to be my fate throughout these days. I try and do something. I try and prove something – I work harder than any other person in this business to achieve the dreams of the people, my friends, and myself. I try and fight against overwhelming odds time and time again for my beliefs and for SCW and yet I keep coming up short.
I should have been happy, Syren! That Breakdown where a new World Champion was crowned, I should have been happy! I should have been happy that Bree was beaten just as badly as I was. That she lost the title and is now nowhere to be seen.
But I wasn’t happy.
I wasn’t happy because all I could think about was how I failed. How I messed up. How I couldn’t be the one to do it. And because I had nothing to show for this match. I was out in the opener. Just as soon as it began for me, it was over. And I never had the chance to just… just try and find my old self – find the passion and drive that I had to get into the ring and keep fighting. As I said, to test every thing that I was made of.
A moment passes without Selena making a sound, her voice slowly breaking the silence. But fate is a funny thing, isn’t it, Syren? It can be both cruel and kind. I mean, fate played a part of me being a wrestler in the first place, and the life I have because of it. My wife, my children, all of it came from me becoming a wrestler in some way, which wouldn’t have happened if fate hadn’t stepped into my life.
Think I’m puffing smoke? Well, what about you, Syren? What would have happened if you hadn’t ‘refused to show up’ to that gauntlet match? Fate had handed you the final position. The final number. Your opponent was a battle-weary Chris Cannon, a man that had already gone through, what? Six other people?[size=undefined] Selena shrugs.[/size]
Now, I’ll give Chris all the credit in the world, but I’ll wager even he was laughing at the irony of it all. Because he knows, like I know, that if you had faced your fears and come down to the ring to fight – like the woman you use to be would have done - you very well might have been the World champion again. That isn’t a knock against the heart and passion Cannon showed. It’s simply the fact that he would have faced a very game and fresh Syren – probably with the same odds I did last week…
But, I mean… you practically handed him the title by not showing up, Syren. One of the people you hate, though I doubt as much as Christy does, and he could very well thank you for helping him become the world champion… and you know it, don’t you? I saw the doubt on your face in that segment on Breakdown. Behind your eyes, lurking there in the back of your mind – questioning whether that was the right move…
Selena smiles. That’s what I mean about fate, Syren. The idea that it can be cruel or kind. And last week, you would think that fate was cruel to me too. That, after the tag-league, the gauntlet, not being included in the last pay-per-view beyond merely a spectator role, you would think that me staring down an incoming seven-on-one beat down was simply more of ‘fate getting its kicks in’…
Looking away, Selena’s smile grows a little. But I didn’t feel that anger or frustration of that – of you being the ‘typical Syren of today’. I didn’t feel that sadness or fear that you run from. Fear of another failure. I didn’t feel lost or failure…
She turns her head, her sapphire eyes back on the camera. In that moment, where I stood between Ravyn, Crowe and you with the rest of Infamous closing in me… I just thought “Wow…isn’t this a bit much for just me?”
A laugh escapes her. I mean, I’ll say this, Syren. I hate how you wrestle now, always needing Crowe or CHBK and Ravyn to help you? Hell, I’ve gone to war with Christy Mathews and survived such odds with one or two members of Infamous getting involved. I’ve survived Infamous beat downs by two or three members of Infamous attacking me, rarely involving you, oddly enough. But never, not once in my entire time here in SCW have I witnessed every single member of Infamous coming out to the ring to take on ONE person at once.
ONE person!
And it’s not like I was the World Champion or some kind of title-holder or top contender… Hell, I think I’ve lost more matches than I’ve won so far this year. And like I said, I haven’t even wrestled a pay-per-view match yet this year. But there everyone was… CHBK, the brilliant mind that he apparently is, felt it necessary to bring out the whole damn army of Infamous to deal with one Snow Queen. One Selena Frost…
Despite herself, Selena shakes her head, the idea she had just described sounding absurd to the avid SCW viewer.
I… I almost laughed at it! It was so silly! I was about to get mauled and possibly put in a hospital, a beating that may have rivaled the ones I took from Xander Valentine in the past, and yet I almost had to laugh at what fate had done. It was like it was trying to hit me over the head with a sledgehammer, to beat a message into my brain.
She clicks her tongue inside her mouth before focusing back on the camera. And in that moment, while you all stood there, smirking and licking your lips like a pack of wolves… In the seconds I had before the yellow-shirts ran in to separate us and David rushed in with a chair…
I won’t lie, Syren, I knew I was going to get destroyed. Come on! It’s the usual attackers, former world champions Ravyn and Matthews, it was the mastermind, CHBK, the enforcer Crowe, and also you! Yeah, I was going to get a mugging where even Syren, herself, was going to be involved… you have to admit that that’s rare.
And, yet, in those moments, damn I felt better than I had felt in a long time.[size=undefined] the smile becomes a beaming one as Selena clasps her hands together.[/size]
Well, how else should I have felt, Syren? Afraid? Of what? Pain? Getting my ass kicked? Getting the hell beaten out of me? Take a look, Syren, that’s kind of been happening to me for years. ‘Selena Frost getting ambushed and beaten into the ground’ hasn’t exactly been a ‘new concept’ on episodes of SCW Breakdown, you know what I mean? she tilts her head to accentuate her point.
No, I felt amazing, Syren. I felt so damn amazing. Here I was, trying to find that spark, that passion, that reason to meet the standard I felt I couldn’t reach anymore, feeling like I wasn’t a true force in SCW anymore without someone like Regan or David to help me… and in comes Infamous, needing EVERY SINGLE MEMBER – even the Odin-damned MANAGERS - to deal with me.
A laugh escapes her as she slumps back against the couch, taking a moment to let that observation sink in.
And, let’s face it, when your team is comprised of the self-proclaimed “smartest minds in SCW” with Ravyn Taylor and CHBK… what do you think that means, Syren? Why do you think that is? Why would CHBK and Ravyn feel it necessary to have every member on standby and bring them out to deal with me?
After all… I was just going out to deal with Crowe and Ravyn. It was two on one, with David in the ring dealing with Gavin… I mean, I was still outnumbered. Yet… more came.[size=undefined] she tilts her head the other way, her tone softer.[/size]
Have you asked yourself that, Syren? Have you asked yourself why CHBK sent everyone after me? Was he trying to protect them? Beat me down worse than ever before?
Or was it because you ran out and he was trying to protect you?[size=undefined] Sapphire eyes narrow in accusation.[/size]
I saw the footage, Syren. You came out first after me. You were leading the pack even though the odds were already against me. Everyone else followed you.
So why? Did CHBK feel like I could take you all down? I seriously doubt it. He’s a lot smarter than me and even I know I couldn’t do that. Or maybe he was worried that fighting me would do something to you that he didn’t like? That, while I would definitely be left lying on the ground, there was a risk of me hurting you in the process…
The Snow Queen shrugs her shoulders. Or maybe I’m targeting the wrong person, Syren. Maybe it was you that told everyone to come out?
But either why – the same question persisted in my mind, so I’ll ask you.
Why?
Again, Syren, it’s not like Ravyn and Crowe are incompetent. They’ve worked together before with great success. I’m sure they could have gotten a good beating on me, or the odds were there too. I mean, maybe I’d get some good shots and even be the last one standing, but still… why seven, Syren?
What did CHBK see in me? Or what did you see me? What was it about me that made you feel like seven on one was necessary?
Of course, Selena does not possess the answer to such questions, instead opting to merely shrug her shoulders. I don’t know, Syren. But I’ll tell you this… I want to find out! I want to find out what about me had Infamous running. What about me brought all THAT out. And I want to find out this Breakdown when the main-event shows “Selena Frost vs. Syren”.
The Snow Queen’s eyes light up at the mention of her upcoming match, the implications of it quite loud and clear.
To me, Syren… THIS is my redemption. This is my chance to make up for my short-coming at the gauntlet two weeks ago. Because I know – I KNOW – I’m not just facing you. That was proven last week. I know it’s not just you. It’ll be Ravyn, Crowe, CHBK, maybe every member of Infamous again surrounding the ring. It’ll be the tricks you’ve become reliant on. Resources I don’t have.
But again, Syren, I’m not feeling fear. I might – no, I am certain that I am going to get beaten up. I might get the mauling I should have gotten last week, but that doesn’t scare me. I’m not feeling anger at your cowardly tactics or frustration that I just might have to endure another episode of Breakdown where I get knocked around and that’s it for me.
No, Syren… like I said, I am elated. I am elated that I can face those kind of odds – I WANT to face those kinds of odds – the kind of odds that test every limit and every bit of endurance someone has. That test the common sense of every person within and every person watching!
Because what if I can, Syren?[size=undefined] she smiles again, a beautiful smile despite the warrior-spirit she possesses. [/size]
What if someone like me – down on herself, questioning her worth here in SCW – what if someone like me can do something to overcome those amazing limits? Not only the mass numbers, but overcoming you – the supposed “Best Wrestler in the World”?
And what if they’re right, Syren?[size=undefined] She gives another tilt of the head[/size]
What if there is something about me? Something that you or CHBK or Ravyn see in me? Something that I don’t see yet. Something that makes me dangerous in your eyes or in theirs? What if there is something like that about me – within me – and I can find it? I can bring it out? What then, Syren? What then?
Selena shakes her head slowly. You don’t get it, Syren. Your troupe can beat me down but I’m already at the lowest I can be here in SCW… the only place I can go is up. And up is where I intend to go… towards Retribution where I will hold Ravyn accountable for her remarks about Regan…
But tonight? This isn’t about Ravyn. This is about me and you. This is about me wanting to see which of us has the courage to dig down deep, despite the pain and the odds, despite all the crap that’s weighed on our shoulders, and keep on fighting!
She leans forward towards the camera. And I’ll play spoiler for you, Syren, just so you can prepare for it – you’re gonna need the rest of Infamous to deal with me in that ring, because I am not going to stop fighting you until I find that ‘something’ that we’ve been talking about. I’m not going to stop punching and kicking you and knocking you around the ring until I find that ‘something’ that’s got Infamous so spooked.
And you had better pray that I don’t find it, Syren. Because if I do? I swear to you, I am NEVER letting it go again. I am NEVER going to lose it again! I am going to use it – harness it – I am going to unleash it on you, on Dark Fantasy, on all of Infamous…[size=undefined] her tone is cold and harsh once more.[/size]
And from there? I’m going to use it go as ‘up’ as I can… The Face of SCW looks up towards the ceiling, beyond the camera. To a place that I haven’t been in years…
Lowering her head back down, the young woman stares daggers into the camera.
Believe it, Syren… it all begins tonight…
The camera slowly fades to black before showing the SCW graphic and ending the segment.
”For What It's Worth...”
Somewhere above the Atlantic Ocean…
February 26, 2021
3:34am
Her eyes opened to darkness and her body sprung up from instinct. She wasn’t sure which direction was up and which was down or left or right. She wanted to scream but her voice ran back into her throat as her senses slowly awakened from the nightmare that had plagued her, the haze remaining heavy in her mind.
For a time, she wasn’t sure how long, she just sat there in the dark, looking at nothing but darkness as she listening to the rapid beating of her heart. Similar images – she was used to waking up like this from them at this point – demons, failures, weaknesses – all related to her in some way, either personal or professional.
Slowly, she felt her breathing slow down, as did her heart, her eyes adjusting in the darkness enough to spot the small nightlight in the corner of the room, offering little illumination but enough to guide her from her room to the adjoining bathroom. With a sigh that was barely a whisper, the young woman pulled the covers off her lithe form, the thick materials pushed to the side to allow her to swing her legs over the bed and onto the floor. She felt a slight tilt, as if the world was moving around her, but she immediately recognized it for what it was.
It told her they were still in the air, still travelling across the ocean to Germany – to Deanna and her children.
It was something Selena was actually unsure about. She hadn’t returned to Germany in weeks – even missing her monthly conjugal visit with her wife – which she still felt guilty for.
Shaking her head, the young wrestler stumbled into the bathroom, trying to rub the haze out of her eyes and mind with her hand, the other seeking the faucet to turn the water on in the sink to its coldest setting. Reaching her pale hands into the water, she felt the cold on her skin – relishing in the feeling. Cupping them together, she splashed a bit on her face, the sensation feeling good, and something she needed in that moment. A few more times to ease and calm herself further, and her hand reached over to turn the faucet off while the other reached for a towel that she knew was there, grasping the fabric to dry her face slowly.
I’m tired… her mind whispered as she held the cloth to her face and stood to her full height. Just so tired…
Yet her heart jumped again as she pulled the towel away from her face, allowing her to see – and recoil – from her reflection in the mirror. There, in the dimly lit room, she could see her features hadn’t changed much. Her eyes were a little puffy from the lack of sleep but that wasn’t what grabbed her attention.
Her eyes were fixated on the short, platinum-blonde hair that didn’t even reach the tops of her shoulders. For a moment, her mind screamed in alarm, demanding to know where the rest of her hair was – the hair that made her a Frost…
It always happened like this, on nights where she would forget due to the haziness of sleep and nightmares – her memory would slip a little and as she stood there, pale hands grasping the porcelain sink so tightly, the skin turned red and yellow in various places, she willed herself to relax – or try to – to tell herself why the reflection in the mirror – who didn’t look like ‘Selena Frost’ to her – was actually her. It didn’t take long to remember, allowing her to breath a little easier once more, but still, as one hand slowly detached itself from the white sink, it ran up towards the chopped hair to run its fingers through its shorter locks.
She hadn’t thought twice about the decision – and that was something that both alarmed her, but also seemed like a rather ‘DUH!’ moment. Malcolm had made a demand of personal victory. He wanted to, in his mind, be the victor in whatever ‘war’ had existed between him and Selena. He wanted some kind of ‘victory’ for himself – Selena had seen the aspects of ‘damaged ego’ before in people like Xander Valentine and Bree Lancaster when it came to being beaten by her – and the depths they would go to “get even” or maintain some semblance of ‘face’. In that way, compared to Bree pretending her loss to Selena ‘didn’t count’ and Xander attacking fans, Malcolm’s had been far more… was it right to say ‘smarter’? More ‘planned out’. She had gone for something personal to Selena and only Selena. For something that would stay with her.
Again, Selena ran a hand through her short hair, as if the act could somehow stimulate the hairs to regrow back to the length they once were. She had acted without hesitation, grabbing that letter opener and slicing the braid off her with a series of strong slashes. All to get the the USB drive that Malcolm and Talia had been certain ‘held the information to free Deanna…”
And in that had been the source of Selena’s lack of hesitation. Even in that moment, as she stared into the mirror, at herself, part of her wondering what her family would think – her father, Donovan, her grandmother, Irina, those that had raised her to take pride in the ‘specialness’ of her hair – she could still feel that same ‘certainty’.
“It was for the woman I love more than anything.” She whispered, the same thing she told herself every time she saw herself in the mirror or saw the shocked expressions of those that spotted her for the first time. She knew both her father and grandmother would have understood. While she loved her hair, loved how different it was from everyone else, she simply loved Deanna more.
She loved that woman with every fiber of her being. Every thought in her head would eventually come back to Deanna. Every goal, every dream, it eventually came back to that little redhead…
Yet, for all that love, Selena had avoided her since visiting Nome, Alaska…
She had told herself that it was because of “the plan”. That she was busy trying to use what new information she had to get Deanna out of prison – but that was a lie and Selena knew it – she couldn’t deny it there, alone, anymore than she could deny the shortness of her hair.
Stumbling back, Selena felt her neck and the bare part of her shoulders that her magenta nightgown didn’t cover, touch the cold tiles of the wall, allowing her to sink down onto the floor, her head lowering to her knees, a position she had occupied ever since that gauntlet match.
In truth, she was afraid to go back to Germany because she was afraid of fate.
For so many years, she had been forced to take her life into her own hands. With her father disappearing, her abusive step-mother, the world she knew in Nome hating her simply because she was different, Selena had never believed fully in ‘destiny’ or ‘loving gods’ beyond those that saw the world as a plaything like the Norse gods had in mythology.
But Deanna had changed that – or at least had shattered her cold resolve on that. How a woman from Nome managed to become a wrestler, well that was one thing, something Selena could have done anywhere. The fact that her bus happened to suffer a flat tire, which brought her to the one small town in Kentucky that needed her to ‘be at an auction for charity’ and that the one person in all the world that could make shatter her world’s views would be there and ‘win her’?
Even Selena had conceded, long enough, that there was something more to her life and her meeting Deanna. More than mere ‘no one is listening’ or ‘no one is helping me’.
She couldn’t just be cold and hating to the world like it had been to her, not when it gave her the most amazing person and that person LOVED her unconditionally.
But unfortunately, that meant that, along with the good, fate was going to get its kicks in, too. And, over the years, and more so since last year to now, Selena had learned that, much like the gods she spoke of, fate could be both kind and cruel.
And cruel it had been.
From last year’s Rise to Greatness to this moment, every time she had tried to make good on something, make a goal a reality, fate had stepped in crush her in the worst way.
She had wanted to make Xander accountable for his actions once more: the man had brutalized her in their match, at least in the eyes of SCW.
She had wanted to win the tag league with her sister, Regan: Regan had been injured and taken out, making that impossible.
She had wanted to finish what Frozen Hell had started in that Tag League by teaming with Glory Braddock: Not only had Selena failed in the first round, but she had been the one pinned.
She had wanted to try and… she sighed as she kept her head on her knees… she hadn’t believed she could win the gauntlet match and hadn’t entered with any delusions, but she had wanted to stand strong – show the world that she wasn’t weak. Wasn’t some pushover that had lost ‘the knack’ or whatever they called it. Wanted to just…just… just be Selena Frost again, the singles wrestler… And by fate’s design, she hadn’t even gotten out of one match – hell, she was the first person to lose in that gauntlet match…
Failure after failure after failure after failure. Being little more than a punching bag to Infamous now or, perhaps, the damsel in distress that needed David Helms to save her…
“This is not who I am…” her voice whispered, and yet, she didn’t have any evidence to disprove it. She hadn’t even been able to do anything to protect Talia from whoever took the lawyer off the road in that car accident.
Every time she made a plan or a promise, she seemed to just fail in the worst possible way. It was why she had hesitated to go back to Germany right away. What if this didn’t work? What if, just because it was her and fate seemed to want to be as it was right now, the information on the USB drive led to nothing…
She felt the platinum-blonde strands shift a little as she shook her head. It would take months, maybe even years, for her hair regrow back to what it once was. What if it was all for nothing? Like the promises she made in SCW?
She felt her teeth bite down on her lower lip as her hands tried to crush themselves in their own grip. Why? she mentally asked harshly. Why can’t there be a moment of compassion? A moment of success? A moment where I don’t hate myself? Or feel like a failure? Or feel worthless?!
In a way, she almost hated David Helms’ words of ‘advice’. Telling her to ‘get her head on right’ or some tripe like that. It was easy for him to say. From the second that David Helms had re-entered SCW fully, he had been met with success. In his return year, he had won the Trios Tournament, the Taking Hold of the Flame Royale and then headlined the main-event of Rise to Greatness: A goal Selena had tried to do since she first won the World title at the end of 2016. Yes, he had suffered an injury, and had lost the title to Bree Lancaster in that unification match…
Quickly, Selena stopped the train of bitter thoughts. She couldn’t think like that. David was suffering too. He had Regan to think about. He had his own kids and his new wrestling school…
No… Selena shook her head again… she knew where her true frustrations lay. At herself. There was just something she was missing. Something that kept her from being able to go that ‘extra mile’ to get the win or stand tall or whatever goal she set-up for herself. Always something…always changing…
But I’m just tired of it… just so tired of it…
The thought had sat within her mind for so long, building up each and every week as the weights of the world bore down on her, drawing her closer and closer to the same ‘what if’ conclusion. The way to end one aspect of it once and for all…
Again, Selena felt her head shake, this one more out of instinct. She needed to refocus. She needed to stop looking back and keep looking ahead. Hadn’t that been what she had promised herself last week? To let go of the past and just focus on what was ahead? What good was it to dwell on the things she couldn’t change?
She couldn’t change that she had failed over and over again. It was done, meaning she had to look ahead. And what if the USB was a dud? She’d eventually get her hair back, and besides, it wouldn’t change anything if it was worthless. But on the small chance that Malcolm and Talia were right… even if it was a 1% chance of getting Deanna home and into her arms forevermore? It would always be worth it.
Slowly lifting her head up, Selena rested it back against the wall, breathing slowly and quietly as she sat on the bathroom floor. She wouldn’t be in Frankfurt for several hours, at least not until they opened the prison for visitors.
I wonder what Deanna will think…
*************************************************
“HOLY CAT ON A HOT TIN ROOF!!” exclaimed the redhead as she ran across the enclosed field to where Selena stood.
Hey…something like that… Selena thought as she smiled brightly at her stunned wife, who, despite the surprised expression, did not stop running until she was jumping at Selena, the latter of whom just managing to catch her into her arms and hold her tight.
“Hey, pet.” Selena whispered, feeling the peace and contentment wash over her at her having her wife in her arms. “Sorry I took so long to get back… I had… things to take care of…”
Quickly, Deanna jerked her head back, remaining in Selena’s arms as the two stood in the prison ‘playpen’, one of the places they were allowed to walk during Selena’s visits.
“Uh-huh…” the redhead remarked, her emerald eyes locked at the glaring change of her wife. “Was one of those things a date with a weed-whacker?” Immediately, the shorter woman’s hands sprung up from their place around Selena’s neck to run through her hair.
“Hey!” Selena replied, feigning hurt. “I think they did an okay job…”
It had definitely been a sight to behold that week. While most of SCW had been abuzz with the gauntlet, easily one of the most match-backed Breakdowns in recent history, the Snow Queen had certainly turned a few heads when she had arrived, the sight of her with shorter hair something nobody had seen in her entire career in SCW. Still, she did have to explain it to Sasha – as it was an ‘extreme attire change’ in the eyes of herself as a wrestler. Still, Sasha had bigger things to worry about than Selena and her hair and had, upon hearing the reasons as ‘personal’ excused Selena, sending her to the makeup and hair department of SCW “fix what looked like a hack job”. The result was Selena’s first real haircut that she could remember, the stylist fixing the length to be more eye-catching.
“What happened?” the voice came from Deanna and had replaced the shock with concern, her fingers ceasing their adventuring in Selena’s scalp to gently hold the sides of her face with the fingertips. “Was it work? Did someone make you?”
“That’s…” Selena sighed slowly, leaning in to press a soft kiss to her wife’s forehead. “That’s two different questions…”
Deanna stood there, awaiting a further explanation, the Frankfurt wind warmer than it had been the last few times Selena had visited, though she felt it more acutely in certain places. Her eyes took in the familiar blue prison uniform Deanna wore, the prisoner number the same: 14523, it all a stark contrast to her leather jacket, black jeans and maroon shirt underneath.
It made sense that Deanna would think Selena’s short hair was ‘work-related’. Twice in her career of SCW, once with Dawn Lohan and the other with Vixen Cain, her hair had, in some form, been on the line. The reasoning had been the same. The world knew of Selena’s attachment to her hair as part of her identity, so that was seen as the best way to ‘get to her’ in some way. And, of course, Deanna knew that Selena would never have willingly cut her hair, so, logic would dictate…
Logic… Selena thought with some amusement. How many times in her life had logic not played a part?
“It wasn’t work, sweetheart.” Selena finally answered, reaching up to take Deanna’s hands into hers, bringing them down with hers. “It was… something I had to do.”
“It…it wasn’t Regan was it?” the questions surprised Selena.
“No! Of course not.” Selena shook her head.
“I’m sorry!” Deanna quickly replied. “Just… you two were talking about tattoos and the tag league and… I’m just not really understanding.” Deanna tilted her head. “Was it something you wanted to do?”
A sad smile came to Selena’s lips as she reached up to caress her wife’s face. “It was something I had to do.” She answered. “Because there’s a chance…a small one, Deanna… that it can get you out of here.”
Emerald eyes widened at that statement, though they were still laced with confusion. “Do I…” she tried. “Do I use your hair as a rope and climb over-“
Selena had to laugh at that. She had no choice. Trust her wife to be ridiculous for the sake of the platinum-blonde. “Even if that was the plan, I never had that much hair to…” she laughed a bit more. “No, I…”
The young Frost sighed as she settled down, turning a bit to stand at Deanna’s side, taking the redhead’s arm to allow them to walk together along the grassy, cool area, ignoring the guards that watched them from various posts.
“Talia kept digging and digging.” She explained. “And she found something rather off about Fredric Castle. The man who-“
“I know who he is.” Deanna explained. “I hadn’t really heard that name in over a year, but I’ll never forget it.”
“Right.” Selena nodded. “Well, anyway, what she found out…” Selena held her breath, nervousness gripping her. “We think it might be enough to prove your innocence and get you out.”
“R…Really?”
In Deanna’s eyes, perhaps for the first time, Selena saw something shine within them. Something she instantly recognized – and dreaded… hope. There was no mistaking it as the redhead stood there, grasping onto Selena’s arm like it was a lifeline. But instead of feeling her with joy, Selena only felt dread. In a second, she realized just how resigned to her fate Deanna had become and how she had, deep down, given up the notion of leaving the prison before her sentence was served. But now? That hope was back in Deanna’s eyes – making Selena all the more scared that she would fail her wife…. Like she had failed everyone else.
“Maybe.” She tried. “Talia’s been digging through the information and… from what she’s told me… there’s much more to Castle than we thought.”
“Like what?” Deanna asked. “And how does your hair play into it?”
“Which one do you want to hear first?” Selena asked as she guided Deanna to a nearby bunch, the two sitting down near the fences.
“Your hair.” Deanna answered without hesitating. “It’s about you so…”
“Right.” Selena nodded her head curtly, looking away towards the prison. “Well, the information I’m talking about, due to a series of unfortunate events, ended up in the hands of our old ‘friend’, Malcolm Scythe…”
“Oh no…” Deanna whispered, understanding dawning within her features.
“Right.” Selena nodded. “And you know him. Nothing is ever free. So…”
With her free hand, Selena pointed to the back of her hair and gave a ‘slickt’ sound to represent the ‘cutting’ aspect of her deal with Malcolm.
“That…” Deanna shook her head. “Did you know that this information would work?”
“I still don’t know.” Selena answered honestly, admitting, “I was terrified of telling you because I still don’t know if this will lead to anything. Malcolm says it will and Talia is sure of it.”
“But you… you didn’t know….” Deanna deduced. “You gave up…on a whim….”
Quickly, Selena jerked her head, sapphire eyes blazing fire into Deanna’s emerald orbs. “Of course I did!” she stated sharply in a whisper. “Of course I would.” She added. “Are you surprised? After everything?”
Slowly, Deanna’s mouth clenched shut, the younger girl slowly shaking her head before speaking. “I just wish you’d never have to give so much for me.” She answered guiltily, causing the Snow Queen to lean in, kissing her wife’s temple gently.
“That’s what love is, Deanna.” She stated, pressing her forehead against the space her lips had just touched. “Amidst everything in this crazy… cruel…” the words were harsh coming from Selena. “unfair world… you’re my constant.” She sighed, feeling her wife tilt her head to press against her own. “Loving you… it’s the only sure thing in my life. I never doubt it. Never question it. And if fate – the gods or whoever – make me pay for it for the rest of my life… I wouldn’t care.” A sigh escaped her lips. “If the only good thing this life gives me is you and our children… then I’ll be its punching bag for the rest of my life to pay it back.”
The bold statement, raw in its emotion and vulnerability, left both women trembling a little, though for different reasons. Still, Selena’s eyes remained closed as she felt Deanna’s small hand press into her cheek, soft lips firmly capturing her own. Selena didn’t need to open her eyes to react to the kiss. She was a pro at this point in her life (when it came to ‘kissing Deanna Frost’). Still, when she felt tears fall onto her face – tears that weren’t her own – she gently broke the kiss to open her eyes and wipe them from her wife’s face.
“I love you.” Deanna whispered, opening her eyes as well.
“I love you too.” Selena replied.
The two sat there in silence, content in simply holding one another, for a good hour, neither moving and neither asking anything of the other. Still, as Selena felt her wife’s head on her shoulder, she knew her redhead, the energetic being that she was, couldn’t keep up the silence for much longer.
“So…” came the inevitable voice. “What did you find on Castle?” Deanna asked.
“Well…” Selena tried. “From what Talia has told me – and that isn’t much, mind you – we’re dealing with –“
She stopped as she suddenly heard several sounds coming from her pocket, indicating her cellphone. It had been the only thing she had brought to her visit, and with the guards watching her – and knowing her after over a year and a half of visits – she had been allowed to keep it on her. Still, she was somewhat surprised to hear the ‘text message’ indication sound, followed by another… and another… and another…
“Someone’s popular.” Teased her wife, who stuck her tongue out playfully at the platinum-blonde.
“Yeah…but everyone at the castle knows not to bother me when I’m with you.” Selena stated in confusion as she slowly dug the phone out of her pocket, opening it to see what the issue was…
And feeling her blood run cold as she read:
Mommy! Help! HELP!
***************************************************
Schonburg Castle
Oberwessel, Germany
She had never driven the hour and a half supposed travel from Frankfurt to Oberwessel. Nothing had prompted her to use every shortcut she knew (and knowing which were not really monitored by police). True, there were times when she was wanting to get to Deanna faster where she was prompted to get a little over the speed limit down the quieter, shorter, less observed country roads.
But nothing like this had ever prompted her to barrel down the streets with her foot usually pushed onto the gas pedal so hard, the damn thing touched the floor of the car. The risk of a crash never occurred to her for a second. She hadn’t considered the risks of travelling so fast. All that mattered to her was that gripping fear of reading her daughter’s text messages – pleas of help and danger.
The first had been a simple cry, but as Selena had rifled through them with Deanna, the alarm became clear. Something was happening back at the castle!
In that moment…in that second – Selena and Deanna had shared a look – the same kind. All Deanna had to say was one word and Selena was gone: “Go.”
The urgency Deanna had said it, no hesitation, prompting the older woman to do what she could not due to her confinement – it was fuel to the fire. Yet, for all of that, the dread would not leave Selena:
Elsianna would never text her something like this as a “joke” or a “prank”.
She would never have bothered her mother with something that either Gunther, Margarette, Gerda could help her with, such as homework.
And for all of that – the conclusions her mind was conjuring up – all she could feel was that she wasn’t getting to the castle fast enough, even as she blazed past the township sign, welcoming her to Oberwessel. All she could do was feel the panic gripping her chest and clawing at her insides.
A pain that didn’t subside as her car rode up the hill and she spotted the flashing lights of the police vehicles parked in front. Without thinking, she parked her car to the side and jumped out of her car, running as fast as her legs could carry her. Her eyes spotted the ambulance (not so different than American ones) also parked nearby, but it didn’t slow her down. She simply kept running into the main entrance of the castle, where guests would enter to check-in, her words loud and ringing through the rooms.
“ELSA? DAVID? AMI? GERDA? GUNTHER?” she ran off every single name of every single occupant she knew to be in this residence, moving past the seating area and into the halls that lead to the eating areas. Only there did she stop as she spotted the occupants.
Sitting in various chairs, mostly huddled together, was her son David, Gerda (who was holding little Amiliah), and Margarette. Near them stood two officers in uniform, speaking with Gunther, the old caretaker of the castle clutching his neck and rubbing it with a withered hand. All heads turned to Selena as she entered the room.
“Mom!” called out David, her second born jumping off the chair he sat on to rush into Selena’s arms, the mother scooping him up to carry him, relief partially filling her.
“David – thank Odin…” she whispered, kissing the boy’s forehead before checking him over. “Are you hurt? Are you alright-“
“We’re all fine.” Answered Gunther.
“What happened?” Selena asked before turning her head around the room. “Where’s Elsianna? And Talia?”
There was a moment of silence before Gerda, Selena’s neighbour and dear friend – the caretaker of her children when Selena couldn’t be – spoke up.
“We haven’t found her or Talia yet.”
Selena felt the color drain out of her face, no doubt giving her an even more pale appearance. She was about to rush off and check the halls when a stiff hand grabbed hers, keeping her in place. She felt the wrinkled, calloused, yet strong, grip of the veteran Gunther, his usual “pleasant and jovial” expression cold and calculating, like a soldier’s.
“Calm down, Selena.” He ordered, his other hand still on his neck. “We haven’t done a thorough check of the rooms yet…”
“Why not?” Selena asked, failing to stay calm. “What happened?! I don’t-“
The officer closest to her spoke quickly in German, Selena only able to pick up a few words. A quick bark from Gunther about using English around her and the same officer quickly cleared his throat before speaking again.
“I said, ‘please calm down’. There is no more danger.”
“How do you know that?!” Selena asked, eyes wide.
“Because the first thing we did was sweep the perimeter and-“
Gunther interjected. “Because whoever did this fled as soon as they heard the police sirens coming up the hill.”
“Did you catch any of them?” Selena asked, eyes back on the cop.
“Three, but none are talking and we don’t know how many there were.”
Releasing a shaky breath, Selena looked around the room. “Can I…please let me go look for my daughter. You can explain the rest to me later.”
The officer gave a nod before insisting another one, this one a woman, shorter than Selena, accompany the platinum-blonde. The two were off in a rush – or as fast as Selena as permitted to go – the woman travelling through the halls and floors and stairs, calling out for Elsianna. Her logic was that ‘checking very room one by one, even if they had Gunther’s keys’ would take hours – and unless the invaders had picked the lock, they only way that they would get in was to break the door down-
A fact that made Selena’s heart stop as she reached the second floor of room and spied the interior of Talia’s room, the door having been broken into and discarded onto the inside floor. Quickly, Selena hopped over the door and stood within the space, calling out the missing names.
“Elsianna?! Talia?!” her voice echoed into the room but no response was given. The room, itself, was a tragic mess – and that was saying something considering how Talia kept it. True, things were often discarded or left lying around, but before, it always seemed like ‘organized chaos’ to Selena. The kind where you dare not touch it because it would ruin the order that the occupant had (whatever it was). However, the mess that her eyes took in looked nothing like that – there was nothing organized about it. It was simply chaos. Like a tornado had ripped through the room with no objective other than to destroy everything. Papers where ripped into pieces, the computer was smashed to kingdom-come, there was clothes tossed on the floor/closets emptied…
She heard the crunching of paper under her shoes as she took a scan of the area once more before her eyes settled on the window, a mixture of clear and distorted glass (based on design). She could see the gardens outside the window, the fields of grass and some flowers that were still managing to survive despite the tumultuous weather the winter had brought about. However, once her eyes settled on the building beyond that, a spark of realization hit her.
“I know where she is…” Selena whispered before bolting out of the room, nearly running into the female officer that followed her. This time, when she was prompted to slow and calm down, she refused to listen, instead continuing to run down the steps, out the closest door and entering the garden – though she did not stop there. Her legs kept moving her long the cobblestone pathway, down and around until she stood outside the towering precipice of building – the tower. The tower she had not visited since her last with Nicodemus… before his death and Deanna’s arrest…
For the briefest of seconds (milliseconds to anyone else), time slowed and Selena could swear she heard the old man’s voice and saw his face – smiling that tired smile at her. I’m just an old tiger…sensing my end… the voice echoed in Selena’s mind, causing her to feel… it wasn’t her age but perhaps understand more of what the old man had meant…
The moment passed quickly and she was suddenly leaping up the stairs a few at a time. “Elsianna?!” she called out every few steps until she had burst into the ‘museum’ section of the tower, where models and plaques with explanations were.
“Snowflake?!” Selena called out once more…
And then, only then, did a small figure emerge from behind the display stand of a suit of armor.
“M…Mother?” The child looked out before instantly running to meet her mother, Selena, as with her son, wrapping the child in her arms and holding her tight.
“Gods, I was so worried.” The woman half-cried, keeping her hands on her daughter as she hugged her tight, a few tears sliding down her cheeks. She didn’t give a damn if she looked like a blubbering mess. Her family was safe, that was all that mattered. Quickly disengaging from the embrace, Selena quickly checked over the small eight-year old, checking her face and body in her motherly way. “Are you hurt? Did you-“
“I’m okay, mom.” Elsianna nodded, though she quickly shuffled in to once more hug her mother, practically clinging to her. Despite her age and being the biggest of the children due to that age, Selena still had no issues lifting her up.
“What happened?” she asked, practically cradling her daughter gently.
“I can explain that.”
The voice came from the further within the tower’s room. Selena breathed a sigh of relief as she saw Talia emerge from the shadows, limping a little due to the lingering injuries of her car accident.
“Glad you’re alright.” Selena sighed, keeping hold of her daughter.
“Yeah-“ the dark-haired woman gestured to Elsianna. “Kid had a great plan.”
The child chimed in, though her voice still shook from the shock of the event. “You told us that if there was ever any danger, to run and hide in the tower.”
Selena nodded her head. She had almost forgotten the ‘emergency plan’ as they hadn’t used it once since they moved here over a year and a half ago (since Deannna’s arrest). The tower was their go-to to hide and stay safe. But of course Elsianna would recall it just like that… Selena smiled at her bright young daughter. “I’m very proud of you, snowflake.” She beamed, kissing her daughter’s cheek, before returning her attention to Talia. “So what happened?”
“What do you think?” Talia shrugged, leaning against one of the stone walls.
“Robbers?”
“Please.” laughed Talia. “Come on, Selena.”
“I really don’t know.” Selena huffed, her frustration at Talia growing. The woman couldn’t just give her a clear answer?
“Okay, let me put it this way. A bunch of robbers that only go after one room?”
“What?” Selena asked.
“Did you check my room?”
“Yes.” Selena nodded as she heard steps from behind, the officer that had been following her finally catching up to her. “What about it?”
“Anything stand out?”
“Talia, please-“ Selena warned. “I’ve just had the scare of my life – to the point that, if my hair wasn’t white already, it would be now. Just tell me what the hell you are talking about-“
“I think she means…” the officer interjected, trying to control the situation. “The obvious fact that simple robbers would have gone after every room on every floor that they could…”
Selena’s eyes widened, taking the hint at long last. “But they only went for Talia’s…” she recalled from her search of Elsianna.
“Which means?” Talia sighed.
“That you had something they wanted.”
“And what have we most recently discovered or possessed that would fit that description?”
It took one a few seconds for Selena to put that part together:
The phone call of warning months ago, telling Talia to stay off the case.
The car accident that put the lawyer in the hospital.
Now this?
“They were after the files on Castle…” Selena whispered, looking down at her daughter.
The lawyer gave a nod as the officer nearby called for another fellow cop to join them, to help Talia down the stony steps, Selena not wanting to release her hold on her child.
Several minutes later, with the help of the officers, Talia was taken back to her room, telling Selena that she needed to speak to the platinum-blonde about a serious matter when this was all concluded… though Selena could only nod her head in understanding at that, whatever it was that Talia wanted to say. For Selena, herself, she simply stood in the garden, her beloved Elsianna in her arms.
“Mother?” the child called out, but Selena couldn’t give any response…
Her mind was too busy burning with realizations. While she despised that her family had been endangered once more, the question was ‘why’?
Why would someone call Talia and threaten her to ‘stay off the case’?
Why would someone try and take Talia out of the equation through a car accident?
Why would someone target Talia’s room for the information they had acquired at the cost of Selena’s hair?
And at the end of every question, Selena mentally added the phrase “if the information was useless”, the fear that had rooted itself in her mind since she had sliced the braid off her head – every time she looked in the mirror or looked into her wife’s eyes and tried to explain what was happening.
Why go to all this trouble… all this pain… for useless information? Unless… unless…
Malcolm was right…
Talia was right…
The information wasn’t useless…
It DID contain the means to free Deanna…
Selena tightened her arms gently around her daughter, holding her tight. And if all of that was true…
There was no way in hell I am going to let any of it go…
_______________________________________________________________
The Royal Letter
The camera fades in to reveal the young Selena Frost sitting within what appears to be a changeroom inside an arena. She is dressed in blue jeans and a purple sweater, her platinum-blonde hair styled beautifully despite its shortness.
Members of Infamous… her tone is sharp and somewhat commanding as she sits against a leather couch, one leg crossed over the other, showing the black heels she wears.
You know what? You would think that, perhaps, I would mind my words with the match that I’m soon to have – that being against your leader and supposed “Alpha Female” and “Best Wrestler in the World”, Syren…
I mean, let’s look at it this way: aside from all the mouthing off you’ve done, Ravyn, which, let’s face it, hasn’t proven a damn thing, I’m talking about the more recent acts.[size=undefined] She runs a hand against her temple, absentmindedly tucking a few strands of white hair behind her ear.[/size]
After the gauntlet match, you lead me into a trap – and against a smarter person like David Helms, it wouldn’t have worked, but you clearly knew your target in this instance – and beat me down backstage. The week after? Well, every single member of Infamous was closed in around me. What was it? Seven to one? The Snow Queen shakes her head.
And I’ve had a lot of time to think about that. To process my thoughts in that moment and look back on the events and ask myself why I feel the way I do about all of this.
Swinging her leg off her the other to place it firmly on the ground, she leans forward a little towards the camera. I’ll start off with anger and frustration. That sound reasonable? I was frustrated that I had been so fooled and lead into an obvious trap. Angry that, yeah, I got duped. More so, while you lot complain about ‘conspiracies’ and being ‘held back’, I was frustrated that I failed.
That seems to be a word that you can’t handle, Syren. ‘Failure’. It’s always ‘some kind of conspiracy’ with you, isn’t it? Someone out to get you? Someone acting against you on the board or something like that? Instead of the plain and simple “I messed up”, isn’t it?[size=undefined] [/size]
Selena shakes her head.
And yet, you’re given the chance to become the World Champion! I didn’t get Ace’s mindsight for choosing half the people he did, including me, and I could get Cookie saying she wasn’t ready to compete for the World title – but you?! she scoffs.
How much are we supposed to believe that, Syren? That it wouldn’t have mattered one way or another? That was your logic? Come on! You’re goddamn Syren! How many times have you won that belt ‘by hook or crook’? How many times have your cried to ‘get it back’ or ‘give me a title shot’? Now one falls into your lap and you refuse to compete? You refuse to go for it?! Pale hands tighten into fists.
What was it, Syren? Were you “too good” to compete in such a match? Or are we dealing with the fact that you were just too afraid? Were you like me, Syren, on that night? Afraid of not only losing, but failing to do anything of significance? Of being lost in the crowd of other competitors?
Selena’s hands relax as she give a slight nod, in somewhat understanding. It was a reasonable fear… I felt it. Felt it down in my bones. Like a winter’s chill. It’s… it’s hard… A sigh escapes her lips.
It’s hard now. To be in a career where “beating Selena Frost” can be such a bigger feat than “Selena Frost beating _____”. Xander Valentine got destroyed by two women, ‘but it was by Selena Frost and Regan Street’. The United States Champion before him survived a two on one assault to win the US title, ‘but it was “Selena Frost”’….
And you try… you try to be worthy of that status as it gets harder and harder. You try and be worthy of the admiration and respect that people hold for you… but as you raise the bar, the standard of SCW, it never goes back down. You have to keep competing at that level. Keep driving forward. Keep trying to match it or surpass it… And if you don’t…[size=undefined] the Face of SCW slowly relaxes against the couch, her gaze a little far away as she continues to speak.[/size]
You feel like a failure… like you’ve let the world down… let yourself down… because you’ve done more… been more…
Quickly, she snaps her attention back to the camera. But the difference is, Syren? I faced that fear! Just like I’ve faced it every time I’ve come back to an arena during this ‘rut’ of mine. I’ve faced it over and over again, endured every emotional break down, tears-shed, everything. You? You ran from it – just like you’ve always run from it. You cover it up with denials, excuses. You make up for your shortcomings as a wrestler by having your posse attack en masse practically every night! Again, Selena shakes her head in disbelief.
What happened to the Syren, Zoe, that use to fight in that ring for what she believed in, huh? What happened to the Syren, Zoe, whether she was the most loved or hated woman in SCW, that would walk into a show and didn’t need Ravyn or CHBK or Alexandre Crowe or the rest of Infamous to get the job done? What happened to the Syren that held the world title, not by some grandiose plan behind the scenes, but because she was truly ‘better’ than everyone else on the roster?
She shrugs. Maybe I want to find that Syren again so I can beat her, like I’ve been trying to find that old Selena Frost. To let go of the past’s hold on me and be the woman I’ve always been. Because, despite my desire to, I didn’t get a chance to find her in that gauntlet match. I didn’t have the opportunity to dig deep and push myself to the limits. To push myself past those limits. I was outwrestled. Simple as that. It was the result you feared for yourself, shared by many like Bree and Ace and even, despite her own ‘promises’, Ravyn. And after the beatdown your group gave me, Syren, after the frustration and anger faded away, I was left feeling lost and defeated.
A sad smile crosses the young woman’s lips. That seems to be my fate throughout these days. I try and do something. I try and prove something – I work harder than any other person in this business to achieve the dreams of the people, my friends, and myself. I try and fight against overwhelming odds time and time again for my beliefs and for SCW and yet I keep coming up short.
I should have been happy, Syren! That Breakdown where a new World Champion was crowned, I should have been happy! I should have been happy that Bree was beaten just as badly as I was. That she lost the title and is now nowhere to be seen.
But I wasn’t happy.
I wasn’t happy because all I could think about was how I failed. How I messed up. How I couldn’t be the one to do it. And because I had nothing to show for this match. I was out in the opener. Just as soon as it began for me, it was over. And I never had the chance to just… just try and find my old self – find the passion and drive that I had to get into the ring and keep fighting. As I said, to test every thing that I was made of.
A moment passes without Selena making a sound, her voice slowly breaking the silence. But fate is a funny thing, isn’t it, Syren? It can be both cruel and kind. I mean, fate played a part of me being a wrestler in the first place, and the life I have because of it. My wife, my children, all of it came from me becoming a wrestler in some way, which wouldn’t have happened if fate hadn’t stepped into my life.
Think I’m puffing smoke? Well, what about you, Syren? What would have happened if you hadn’t ‘refused to show up’ to that gauntlet match? Fate had handed you the final position. The final number. Your opponent was a battle-weary Chris Cannon, a man that had already gone through, what? Six other people?[size=undefined] Selena shrugs.[/size]
Now, I’ll give Chris all the credit in the world, but I’ll wager even he was laughing at the irony of it all. Because he knows, like I know, that if you had faced your fears and come down to the ring to fight – like the woman you use to be would have done - you very well might have been the World champion again. That isn’t a knock against the heart and passion Cannon showed. It’s simply the fact that he would have faced a very game and fresh Syren – probably with the same odds I did last week…
But, I mean… you practically handed him the title by not showing up, Syren. One of the people you hate, though I doubt as much as Christy does, and he could very well thank you for helping him become the world champion… and you know it, don’t you? I saw the doubt on your face in that segment on Breakdown. Behind your eyes, lurking there in the back of your mind – questioning whether that was the right move…
Selena smiles. That’s what I mean about fate, Syren. The idea that it can be cruel or kind. And last week, you would think that fate was cruel to me too. That, after the tag-league, the gauntlet, not being included in the last pay-per-view beyond merely a spectator role, you would think that me staring down an incoming seven-on-one beat down was simply more of ‘fate getting its kicks in’…
Looking away, Selena’s smile grows a little. But I didn’t feel that anger or frustration of that – of you being the ‘typical Syren of today’. I didn’t feel that sadness or fear that you run from. Fear of another failure. I didn’t feel lost or failure…
She turns her head, her sapphire eyes back on the camera. In that moment, where I stood between Ravyn, Crowe and you with the rest of Infamous closing in me… I just thought “Wow…isn’t this a bit much for just me?”
A laugh escapes her. I mean, I’ll say this, Syren. I hate how you wrestle now, always needing Crowe or CHBK and Ravyn to help you? Hell, I’ve gone to war with Christy Mathews and survived such odds with one or two members of Infamous getting involved. I’ve survived Infamous beat downs by two or three members of Infamous attacking me, rarely involving you, oddly enough. But never, not once in my entire time here in SCW have I witnessed every single member of Infamous coming out to the ring to take on ONE person at once.
ONE person!
And it’s not like I was the World Champion or some kind of title-holder or top contender… Hell, I think I’ve lost more matches than I’ve won so far this year. And like I said, I haven’t even wrestled a pay-per-view match yet this year. But there everyone was… CHBK, the brilliant mind that he apparently is, felt it necessary to bring out the whole damn army of Infamous to deal with one Snow Queen. One Selena Frost…
Despite herself, Selena shakes her head, the idea she had just described sounding absurd to the avid SCW viewer.
I… I almost laughed at it! It was so silly! I was about to get mauled and possibly put in a hospital, a beating that may have rivaled the ones I took from Xander Valentine in the past, and yet I almost had to laugh at what fate had done. It was like it was trying to hit me over the head with a sledgehammer, to beat a message into my brain.
She clicks her tongue inside her mouth before focusing back on the camera. And in that moment, while you all stood there, smirking and licking your lips like a pack of wolves… In the seconds I had before the yellow-shirts ran in to separate us and David rushed in with a chair…
I won’t lie, Syren, I knew I was going to get destroyed. Come on! It’s the usual attackers, former world champions Ravyn and Matthews, it was the mastermind, CHBK, the enforcer Crowe, and also you! Yeah, I was going to get a mugging where even Syren, herself, was going to be involved… you have to admit that that’s rare.
And, yet, in those moments, damn I felt better than I had felt in a long time.[size=undefined] the smile becomes a beaming one as Selena clasps her hands together.[/size]
Well, how else should I have felt, Syren? Afraid? Of what? Pain? Getting my ass kicked? Getting the hell beaten out of me? Take a look, Syren, that’s kind of been happening to me for years. ‘Selena Frost getting ambushed and beaten into the ground’ hasn’t exactly been a ‘new concept’ on episodes of SCW Breakdown, you know what I mean? she tilts her head to accentuate her point.
No, I felt amazing, Syren. I felt so damn amazing. Here I was, trying to find that spark, that passion, that reason to meet the standard I felt I couldn’t reach anymore, feeling like I wasn’t a true force in SCW anymore without someone like Regan or David to help me… and in comes Infamous, needing EVERY SINGLE MEMBER – even the Odin-damned MANAGERS - to deal with me.
A laugh escapes her as she slumps back against the couch, taking a moment to let that observation sink in.
And, let’s face it, when your team is comprised of the self-proclaimed “smartest minds in SCW” with Ravyn Taylor and CHBK… what do you think that means, Syren? Why do you think that is? Why would CHBK and Ravyn feel it necessary to have every member on standby and bring them out to deal with me?
After all… I was just going out to deal with Crowe and Ravyn. It was two on one, with David in the ring dealing with Gavin… I mean, I was still outnumbered. Yet… more came.[size=undefined] she tilts her head the other way, her tone softer.[/size]
Have you asked yourself that, Syren? Have you asked yourself why CHBK sent everyone after me? Was he trying to protect them? Beat me down worse than ever before?
Or was it because you ran out and he was trying to protect you?[size=undefined] Sapphire eyes narrow in accusation.[/size]
I saw the footage, Syren. You came out first after me. You were leading the pack even though the odds were already against me. Everyone else followed you.
So why? Did CHBK feel like I could take you all down? I seriously doubt it. He’s a lot smarter than me and even I know I couldn’t do that. Or maybe he was worried that fighting me would do something to you that he didn’t like? That, while I would definitely be left lying on the ground, there was a risk of me hurting you in the process…
The Snow Queen shrugs her shoulders. Or maybe I’m targeting the wrong person, Syren. Maybe it was you that told everyone to come out?
But either why – the same question persisted in my mind, so I’ll ask you.
Why?
Again, Syren, it’s not like Ravyn and Crowe are incompetent. They’ve worked together before with great success. I’m sure they could have gotten a good beating on me, or the odds were there too. I mean, maybe I’d get some good shots and even be the last one standing, but still… why seven, Syren?
What did CHBK see in me? Or what did you see me? What was it about me that made you feel like seven on one was necessary?
Of course, Selena does not possess the answer to such questions, instead opting to merely shrug her shoulders. I don’t know, Syren. But I’ll tell you this… I want to find out! I want to find out what about me had Infamous running. What about me brought all THAT out. And I want to find out this Breakdown when the main-event shows “Selena Frost vs. Syren”.
The Snow Queen’s eyes light up at the mention of her upcoming match, the implications of it quite loud and clear.
To me, Syren… THIS is my redemption. This is my chance to make up for my short-coming at the gauntlet two weeks ago. Because I know – I KNOW – I’m not just facing you. That was proven last week. I know it’s not just you. It’ll be Ravyn, Crowe, CHBK, maybe every member of Infamous again surrounding the ring. It’ll be the tricks you’ve become reliant on. Resources I don’t have.
But again, Syren, I’m not feeling fear. I might – no, I am certain that I am going to get beaten up. I might get the mauling I should have gotten last week, but that doesn’t scare me. I’m not feeling anger at your cowardly tactics or frustration that I just might have to endure another episode of Breakdown where I get knocked around and that’s it for me.
No, Syren… like I said, I am elated. I am elated that I can face those kind of odds – I WANT to face those kinds of odds – the kind of odds that test every limit and every bit of endurance someone has. That test the common sense of every person within and every person watching!
Because what if I can, Syren?[size=undefined] she smiles again, a beautiful smile despite the warrior-spirit she possesses. [/size]
What if someone like me – down on herself, questioning her worth here in SCW – what if someone like me can do something to overcome those amazing limits? Not only the mass numbers, but overcoming you – the supposed “Best Wrestler in the World”?
And what if they’re right, Syren?[size=undefined] She gives another tilt of the head[/size]
What if there is something about me? Something that you or CHBK or Ravyn see in me? Something that I don’t see yet. Something that makes me dangerous in your eyes or in theirs? What if there is something like that about me – within me – and I can find it? I can bring it out? What then, Syren? What then?
Selena shakes her head slowly. You don’t get it, Syren. Your troupe can beat me down but I’m already at the lowest I can be here in SCW… the only place I can go is up. And up is where I intend to go… towards Retribution where I will hold Ravyn accountable for her remarks about Regan…
But tonight? This isn’t about Ravyn. This is about me and you. This is about me wanting to see which of us has the courage to dig down deep, despite the pain and the odds, despite all the crap that’s weighed on our shoulders, and keep on fighting!
She leans forward towards the camera. And I’ll play spoiler for you, Syren, just so you can prepare for it – you’re gonna need the rest of Infamous to deal with me in that ring, because I am not going to stop fighting you until I find that ‘something’ that we’ve been talking about. I’m not going to stop punching and kicking you and knocking you around the ring until I find that ‘something’ that’s got Infamous so spooked.
And you had better pray that I don’t find it, Syren. Because if I do? I swear to you, I am NEVER letting it go again. I am NEVER going to lose it again! I am going to use it – harness it – I am going to unleash it on you, on Dark Fantasy, on all of Infamous…[size=undefined] her tone is cold and harsh once more.[/size]
And from there? I’m going to use it go as ‘up’ as I can… The Face of SCW looks up towards the ceiling, beyond the camera. To a place that I haven’t been in years…
Lowering her head back down, the young woman stares daggers into the camera.
Believe it, Syren… it all begins tonight…
The camera slowly fades to black before showing the SCW graphic and ending the segment.
03-06-2021, 12:40 AM
I had a plan for this CD for last week, but then I went to bed for a nap after a long day at work and ended up accidentally sleeping through the night and missed the deadline. But when I came back to the idea I changed what I had planned and ended up liking it a lot more. So it ended up a little long.
Enjoy.
![[Image: DoNotAdjust.gif]](http://www.sototallyawesome.com/DoNotAdjust.gif)
The Syren Song: Verse 327
"They never fucked with my family before"
Enjoy.
The Syren Song: Verse 327
"They never fucked with my family before"