05-15-2021, 06:03 PM
05-19-2021, 09:24 AM
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On Camera
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We open in what appears to be a haphazardly designed live action version of the Mushroom Kingdom from all of your favorite Super Mario games. There are men and women dressed in yellow outfits with turtle shells, the women adorning green shells and the men adorning red shells. There is the infamous Dalek...only he isn’t a Dalek today. He is wearing a brown cap looking thing on its dome and there is a sign placed on the Dalek that reads “Goomba”. There is a yellow brick road that leads up towards a castle off in the distance.
Then we spot “The Woman Scorned” Kimberly Williams and her sister “The Archangel” Jessica Lasiewicz entering the scene from stage right. Jessica is wearing a blue shirt with green trousers and Kimberly is wearing a blue shirt with red trousers. The Woman Scorned has her MWE Chicago Way Championship title belt draped over her right shoulder and the SULK Championship wrapped around her waist.
What does “SULK” stand for? I’m glad you asked! Per the social media request of inaugural champion Datura it stands for Sanctioned Unsanctioned Lizard Kingdom Championship. Kimberly is the thirteen time and reigning Lizard Champion and she proudly defends that title twenty four hours a day, seven days a week.
Jessica: Kim...may I ask the purpose in all of this?
Kim: It’s-A me, Mario!
Lasiewicz rolls her eyes.
Jessica: No, you’re Kim. And I have no idea why I allowed you to talk me into this.
Kim: Because we’re sisters and you love me?
The Lizard Champion smacks Jessica in the back of her head.
Kim: And do try and stay in character! You’re breaking the fourth wall, sis, and you know how much that is frowned upon in our business!
Williams turns towards the camera and winks.
Kim: No pipe bombs, here!
The “Goomba” (Dalek) rolls over in front of the two women.
Dalek: ARE YOU SEEKING OUT THE LIZARD KING HIMSELF BOWSER KOOPA?!
Jessica: Bowser the Lizard King? Is that why you wanted a Mario themed promo, Kim?
Kim: Well, duh! Mr. D already said he wasn’t The Lizard King. So if he’s not The Lizard King that leaves me with three alternatives. Grace Van Beek, owner of MWE...Glory Braddock, owner of GCW...or Bowser Koopa. I don’t know Grace that well and I am pretty sure that if I were related to a lizard I would know so Glory is out. Soooo maybe Bowser?
The Archangel sighs deeply. Kim turns her attention back to the Dalek.
Kim: That’s-A right! My brother and I are gonna find the REAL Lizard King and prove to that psychotic Giovanni The Hedgehog that Mr. D is NOT The Lizard King and that his crusade against Supreme Championship Wrestling is pointless! As the SULK Champion it is my duty, honor, and privilege!
Kim kicks the Dalek over on its side.
Kim: Now stand aside, pepperpot!
The Woman Scorned walks on past the fallen Dalek. Jessica reluctantly follows suit. As they approach the makeshift castle up ahead they are stopped by two red shelled men and two green shelled women.
Man 1: I cannot let you pass! You shall not stop The Lizard King and you shall not stop Giovanni Aries!
Woman 1: And I...uh…
She looks at Kim.
Woman 1: ...I forgot my line?
Kim: Oh c’mon! We rehearsed this!
Man 2: No we didn’t.
Kim: Ok, fine, we didn’t. But you’re actors. This shit should come naturally!
Woman 2: We work for Wal-Mart.
Jessica spins her half-sister around
Jessica: Wal-Mart?! Kim…
Kim: I paid them a lot more than Wal-Mart is paying them. But they’re terrible actors, obviously! So lets just skip their lines and go right to the part where you jump on their heads.
Jessica: Jump on their heads?! Are you nuts?!
Kim: You can throw a fireball at them if you prefer.
Lasiewicz shakes her head.
Jessica: How about I just stay here and...uh...distract them?
Kim: Great idea!
The Archangel stays behind with the still confused...and somewhat relieved…”koopas”, while Kimberly marches on ahead towards the makeshift castle up ahead. The Woman Scorned is startled by the loud sounds of a female shrieking off in the distance, closer to the castle. Kim turns to face the camera and puts on a mock look of surprise and shock.
Kim: That sounds like Princess D-each! She needs my help!
And with that the reigning Lizard Champion takes off like a bolt of lightning towards the castle. As soon as she gets to the castle (which turns out to be made of cardboard and not that much taller than her) she sees a cardboard cutout what was Princess Peach from the Mario games...only Mr. D’s likeness is taped over its head.
Kim: Don’t-A worry, Princess D-each! It’s-A me, Mario, and I will protect the Kingdom from lunatics like Giovanni Aries!
The Woman Scorned plants a kiss on “Mr. D” and then turns to face the camera, smirking.
Kim: You see, Gio, every Mario needs a Bowser, every Sherlock Holmes needs a Professor Moriarty, every Doctor needs a Master. Every great hero needs an equally great villain as a foil, otherwise what is the point of the hero’s existence? The hero exists only to restore order and normalcy to the kingdom they protect. If Bowser ever retired Mario would be out of work. And we wouldn’t want that, now would we? You began this entire crusade preaching against what most believed to be a non-existent creature of your imagination, a Lizard King. And you were popular for a long time. But your act eventually grew stale, and when that happened you just decided amp up your propaganda. The fans who once thought you were entertaining saw the real you. You weren’t some happy go-lucky lunatic, you were a terrorist with delusions of grandeur. Did you care about who got hurt in your insane quest to burn down The Lizard Kingdom?
She shakes her head.
Kim: No, you didn’t care. You preached about ending corruption in this business and even that bitch boy Owen bought that part of your message. And you know what? Ending corruption is a noble cause. It sickens me to see how much bullshit people get away with in this company and yeah, it is because of corruption. Not corruption due to humanoid lizards but, hey, corruption is corruption and it needs to end. And you wanted to end that corruption in the only way you believed it could end...by ending the Lizard Kingdom itself, by ending SCW. But did you stop to think that in your quest to end the corruption you may impact others? No, you only thought of yourself. You’re a hypocrite, Gio. You preach about the selfish materialistic followers of the lizard king and yet you yourself are selfishly seeking out the notoriety of being the one to end corruption by ending The Lizard King and his Kingdom. But that’s not even the worst part of it, because if you do manage to succeed in your insane quest then a lot of good people, innocent people who don’t want anything to do with this crazy war of yours, could end up without a job and without a steady paycheck. But do you care, Gio? No, you only care about your selfish desire for victory.
The Woman Scorned pats herself on the chest.
Kim: That’s who I protect, Gio. That’s who I am fighting for. I’m not fighting for Mr. D, per se, I’m not fighting for the good of SCW. I’m fighting for the people. I’m fighting for the fans who watch and make it possible for us to do this job and for the competitors backstage who enjoy doing this job. They’re the ones you are threatening, Gio. Those are the people who are caught in the crosshairs of your ridiculous quest to end the Lizard Kingdom. So if that makes me a greedy, selfish, materialistic bitch in your eyes then so be it! I mean, quite honestly, I don’t really care what you think about me. All I care about is hurting you. All I care about is making you bleed and maiming you in every sick and sadistic way my mind think of and trust me, Gio, I am capable of imagining some truly sadistic things to do to you. You wanted to burn the Lizard Kingdom to the ground? Well on Breakdown you will find out that you took your quest a step too far but it will be too late to walk it back, it will be too late for regrets or repentance. Because on Breakdown I will burn The Wonderland to the ground!
The scene fades to black.
On Camera
==========
We open in what appears to be a haphazardly designed live action version of the Mushroom Kingdom from all of your favorite Super Mario games. There are men and women dressed in yellow outfits with turtle shells, the women adorning green shells and the men adorning red shells. There is the infamous Dalek...only he isn’t a Dalek today. He is wearing a brown cap looking thing on its dome and there is a sign placed on the Dalek that reads “Goomba”. There is a yellow brick road that leads up towards a castle off in the distance.
Then we spot “The Woman Scorned” Kimberly Williams and her sister “The Archangel” Jessica Lasiewicz entering the scene from stage right. Jessica is wearing a blue shirt with green trousers and Kimberly is wearing a blue shirt with red trousers. The Woman Scorned has her MWE Chicago Way Championship title belt draped over her right shoulder and the SULK Championship wrapped around her waist.
What does “SULK” stand for? I’m glad you asked! Per the social media request of inaugural champion Datura it stands for Sanctioned Unsanctioned Lizard Kingdom Championship. Kimberly is the thirteen time and reigning Lizard Champion and she proudly defends that title twenty four hours a day, seven days a week.
Jessica: Kim...may I ask the purpose in all of this?
Kim: It’s-A me, Mario!
Lasiewicz rolls her eyes.
Jessica: No, you’re Kim. And I have no idea why I allowed you to talk me into this.
Kim: Because we’re sisters and you love me?
The Lizard Champion smacks Jessica in the back of her head.
Kim: And do try and stay in character! You’re breaking the fourth wall, sis, and you know how much that is frowned upon in our business!
Williams turns towards the camera and winks.
Kim: No pipe bombs, here!
The “Goomba” (Dalek) rolls over in front of the two women.
Dalek: ARE YOU SEEKING OUT THE LIZARD KING HIMSELF BOWSER KOOPA?!
Jessica: Bowser the Lizard King? Is that why you wanted a Mario themed promo, Kim?
Kim: Well, duh! Mr. D already said he wasn’t The Lizard King. So if he’s not The Lizard King that leaves me with three alternatives. Grace Van Beek, owner of MWE...Glory Braddock, owner of GCW...or Bowser Koopa. I don’t know Grace that well and I am pretty sure that if I were related to a lizard I would know so Glory is out. Soooo maybe Bowser?
The Archangel sighs deeply. Kim turns her attention back to the Dalek.
Kim: That’s-A right! My brother and I are gonna find the REAL Lizard King and prove to that psychotic Giovanni The Hedgehog that Mr. D is NOT The Lizard King and that his crusade against Supreme Championship Wrestling is pointless! As the SULK Champion it is my duty, honor, and privilege!
Kim kicks the Dalek over on its side.
Kim: Now stand aside, pepperpot!
The Woman Scorned walks on past the fallen Dalek. Jessica reluctantly follows suit. As they approach the makeshift castle up ahead they are stopped by two red shelled men and two green shelled women.
Man 1: I cannot let you pass! You shall not stop The Lizard King and you shall not stop Giovanni Aries!
Woman 1: And I...uh…
She looks at Kim.
Woman 1: ...I forgot my line?
Kim: Oh c’mon! We rehearsed this!
Man 2: No we didn’t.
Kim: Ok, fine, we didn’t. But you’re actors. This shit should come naturally!
Woman 2: We work for Wal-Mart.
Jessica spins her half-sister around
Jessica: Wal-Mart?! Kim…
Kim: I paid them a lot more than Wal-Mart is paying them. But they’re terrible actors, obviously! So lets just skip their lines and go right to the part where you jump on their heads.
Jessica: Jump on their heads?! Are you nuts?!
Kim: You can throw a fireball at them if you prefer.
Lasiewicz shakes her head.
Jessica: How about I just stay here and...uh...distract them?
Kim: Great idea!
The Archangel stays behind with the still confused...and somewhat relieved…”koopas”, while Kimberly marches on ahead towards the makeshift castle up ahead. The Woman Scorned is startled by the loud sounds of a female shrieking off in the distance, closer to the castle. Kim turns to face the camera and puts on a mock look of surprise and shock.
Kim: That sounds like Princess D-each! She needs my help!
And with that the reigning Lizard Champion takes off like a bolt of lightning towards the castle. As soon as she gets to the castle (which turns out to be made of cardboard and not that much taller than her) she sees a cardboard cutout what was Princess Peach from the Mario games...only Mr. D’s likeness is taped over its head.
Kim: Don’t-A worry, Princess D-each! It’s-A me, Mario, and I will protect the Kingdom from lunatics like Giovanni Aries!
The Woman Scorned plants a kiss on “Mr. D” and then turns to face the camera, smirking.
Kim: You see, Gio, every Mario needs a Bowser, every Sherlock Holmes needs a Professor Moriarty, every Doctor needs a Master. Every great hero needs an equally great villain as a foil, otherwise what is the point of the hero’s existence? The hero exists only to restore order and normalcy to the kingdom they protect. If Bowser ever retired Mario would be out of work. And we wouldn’t want that, now would we? You began this entire crusade preaching against what most believed to be a non-existent creature of your imagination, a Lizard King. And you were popular for a long time. But your act eventually grew stale, and when that happened you just decided amp up your propaganda. The fans who once thought you were entertaining saw the real you. You weren’t some happy go-lucky lunatic, you were a terrorist with delusions of grandeur. Did you care about who got hurt in your insane quest to burn down The Lizard Kingdom?
She shakes her head.
Kim: No, you didn’t care. You preached about ending corruption in this business and even that bitch boy Owen bought that part of your message. And you know what? Ending corruption is a noble cause. It sickens me to see how much bullshit people get away with in this company and yeah, it is because of corruption. Not corruption due to humanoid lizards but, hey, corruption is corruption and it needs to end. And you wanted to end that corruption in the only way you believed it could end...by ending the Lizard Kingdom itself, by ending SCW. But did you stop to think that in your quest to end the corruption you may impact others? No, you only thought of yourself. You’re a hypocrite, Gio. You preach about the selfish materialistic followers of the lizard king and yet you yourself are selfishly seeking out the notoriety of being the one to end corruption by ending The Lizard King and his Kingdom. But that’s not even the worst part of it, because if you do manage to succeed in your insane quest then a lot of good people, innocent people who don’t want anything to do with this crazy war of yours, could end up without a job and without a steady paycheck. But do you care, Gio? No, you only care about your selfish desire for victory.
The Woman Scorned pats herself on the chest.
Kim: That’s who I protect, Gio. That’s who I am fighting for. I’m not fighting for Mr. D, per se, I’m not fighting for the good of SCW. I’m fighting for the people. I’m fighting for the fans who watch and make it possible for us to do this job and for the competitors backstage who enjoy doing this job. They’re the ones you are threatening, Gio. Those are the people who are caught in the crosshairs of your ridiculous quest to end the Lizard Kingdom. So if that makes me a greedy, selfish, materialistic bitch in your eyes then so be it! I mean, quite honestly, I don’t really care what you think about me. All I care about is hurting you. All I care about is making you bleed and maiming you in every sick and sadistic way my mind think of and trust me, Gio, I am capable of imagining some truly sadistic things to do to you. You wanted to burn the Lizard Kingdom to the ground? Well on Breakdown you will find out that you took your quest a step too far but it will be too late to walk it back, it will be too late for regrets or repentance. Because on Breakdown I will burn The Wonderland to the ground!
The scene fades to black.
05-19-2021, 11:14 PM