NOTE: Rpleplay split into two parts – apparently I wrote too much. Oops?
LEGEND
SPOKEN DIALOGUE
OFF-CAMERA SCENES NOT AVAILABLE FOR PUBLIC CONSUMPTION
ON-CAMERA SCENES AVAILABLE FOR PUBLIC CONSUMPTION
A FEW WEEKS AGO
The closing moments of Derek Adonis’ last RP
A pair of women’s feet can be seen protruding out from the end of some bedsheets. They’re folded together, almost as if the arch of one foot was being used to warm the top of the other, and they switch places semi-frequently. We move up from the feet because we’re not foot fetishists, moving up the feminine shape of the body under the covers. As we reach higher on the bed, we can see a slender arm out of the bed resting on the body. We move even higher still and see the shoulder, the neck and, finally, the sleeping face of September Mills. There’s no indication of clothing on her body as she begins to shift in place. As she moves, her eyes open and she rolls onto her back, rubbing her eyes.
Mills: “Ugh…”
Groaning, she looks around, seeing the walls where photos of scantily clad women hang on the walls… signed photos. This piques her attention and she rises from the bed, taking the sheet with her, wrapping it around her body as she goes. She walks over to the pictures…
Mills: “Why would someone keep these pictures in their bedroom?”
Looking at the pictures, she recognizes a picture… the nursing student that appeared on KABLAMASUTRA: The TV Series. Her eyes widen.
Mills: “No…”
She turns back to the bed and her eyes widen in horror as she sees the sleeping body of Derek Adonis. The horrifying realization sweeps over her as she begins to recall everything.
Derek explaining his confidence and persistence.
The move from the meeting room to a nearby restaurant for dinner. She ordered a salad. He ordered a steak. Medium-rare, she remembered. They had drinks… she drank wine, he drank whiskey sours.
They left the restaurant. Derek tried to get her a cab, but she didn’t want to go home alone. Derek offered her the couch. She accepted.
They went back to his place. Cookie was out, likely with Manvel. She and Derek talked… and talking led them to… no… led her to.
Mills: “What did I do?”
Derek rolls in his place, opening his eyes and seeing September standing in place, wrapped in his sheet.
Mills: “What did we do?”
Adonis: “Let me explain it to you.”
She nearly becomes sick. Derek, spotting this potential inevitability, rushes to her side, a bucket in hand, as he sits next to her. September, spotting the bucket, attempts to slide away from Derek, but is overwhelmed by the sense of what happened, vomiting into the bucket, her head coming too close for comfort to his crotch area.
Adonis: “Do you… do you need a minute?”
September, with her head still hunched over the bucket, nods. Derek looks around whistling the intro to “Wanna B Ur Lovr” – his entrance theme – which only prompts more vomit to come forth from the geyser that is her stomach.
Adonis: “Is that the wine or…?”
Mills: “I’M FUCKING REPULSED RIGHT NOW!”
Adonis: “Oh.”
That was all he could really say. It wasn’t like he hadn’t heard that before from a lady… he heard it enough times – usually after the woman sobered up and came to regret their time with Man Mountain. September especially so, as the night they had came after their meeting where she essentially decried everything Derek Adonis – the self-styled “KABLAMperor” – believed in. Still, despite the insult, he pulls her hair back out of her face, ensuring she doesn’t get sick into it.
Mills: “You have a lot of explaining to do, so get talking.”
Adonis: “Not much TO explain, really. We had dinner. You drank too much. You didn’t want to go home alone, so I offered you the couch. We chatted. There was a spark. And then…”
He grins, but seeing the mortified expression on the ill woman’s face, decides to withhold his customary “KABLAM!” … who says Man Mountain can’t be a gentleman?
Mills: “You mean I instigated… this?”
September sits up, appearing to be utterly repulsed, but starting to come to the realization that she was responsible for her own fate. Meanwhile, Derek nods with enthusiasm… enthusiasm that slowed as he nodded.
Mills: “God… now I have to kill myself.”
Adonis: “You don’t have to kill yourself.”
Mills: “Are you kidding me? Are you seriously FUCKING kidding me right now!? We… I… FUCK!”
She throws her face into her hands, shaking her head as she sits there.
Mills: “If this ever gets out, my career could be fucking OVER!”
Adonis: “I’m very discreet.”
September rolls her eyes.
Mills: “Right… like I would fucking believe THAT.”
Adonis: “Then tell me who else I’ve slept with.”
He sits back, challenging September.
Mills: “Cookie.”
Adonis: “Well we’re married so that doesn’t count.”
Mills: “What about what’s-her-name? Destiny?”
Adonis: “Chastity… how did you hear about that?”
Mills: “Professional wrestler ends up in court? It’s going to be a fucking story.”
Adonis: “KA-…”
Mills: “Don’t.”
Adonis doesn’t.
Adonis: “Okay. Who else?”
He smirks while September struggles to think of anyone else.
Mills: “Esperanza?”
Adonis: “…”
Mills: “Oh my God… REALLY!? I saw those pictures on the internet and just guessed there was something more there.”
Adonis: “I’m not confirming or denying anything.”
Mills: “So you DID!”
September begins to laugh, the first show of life she’s had since waking up and realizing how she spent her night… this was almost becoming a game.
Adonis: “MY POINT IS… you can’t be TOO sure about anyone who’s reached the summit of Man Mountain because I keep the identities of my partners private to protect them. There are a lot of women who are curious about the KABLAMperor, and they would descend on my partners like they were in a Hitchcock… heh heh heh…”
Derek laughs at the name “Hitchcock” because inside, he has the sense of humour of a 12-year-old boy. September snaps her fingers in his face.
Mills: “Focus.”
Adonis snaps out of his juvenile laughter.
Adonis: “…movie. I do it for your safety.”
September, grudgingly, cannot argue Adonis’ point. Public knowledge of his specific trysts is surprisingly limited, prompting some non-believers to act as though there is nothing there.
Adonis: “Of course, there’s also this…”
Derek reaches beside himself, pulling out a cloth bag with #KABLAM scrawled across it. He hands it to September.
Mills: “THIS is supposed to be discreet?”
Adonis: “Why not? I sell it alongside the KABLAMasutra, KABLAMaerobics gift packs, copies of the movie and TV series on DVD and Blu-Ray…”
Mills: “I… I get it.”
She looks through the gift bag that Derek apparently juts had handy for her following the tryst.
Mills: “The book… a catalogue… Plan B?”
Adonis: “Unless you’re craving having a little Adonis all your own…”
Derek didn’t even have to finish his sentence before September had ripped the Plan B open and tossed it into her mouth, swallowing in a single gulp. She turns back towards Derek, handing him back the gift bag.
Mills: “I’m not going to need any of this other stuff.”
Derek shrugs as he takes the bag back.
Adonis: “Suit yourself. Some good shit in here… like this…”
Derek pulls out a small photo frame with the word “KABLAM” carved into it. September nearly gets sick again.
Adonis: “A lot in here to commemorate our time together.”
Mills: “I want to forget that tonight EVER happened. I want to forget that I even knew you.”
Adonis: “Well that’s kind of rude…”
Mills: “And if you ever tell ANYONE about this… if word about tonight gets out to anyone worth listening to, I’ll sue you for so much defamation that your precious wedding chapel will end up a parking lot in Vegas!”
Adonis: “Ouch.”
She stands up, adjusting the clothing she has on and taking her purse.
Mills: “I mean it, Derek. Don’t fuck with me…”
She turns and looks for the exit, heading towards it as Derek mutters under his breath.
Adonis: “… KABLAM!”
Mills: “I heard that!”
The scene fades.
----------
If December of 2017 brought the most shocking moment in the lineage of the SCW Television Championship… the night where Derek Adonis claimed the gold… then the night of February 14, 2018, would go down in the annals of history as the second-most shocking moment in said lineage. On that night, in front of a deluge of fans in the O2 Arena in London, England, Derek Adonis would defeat Konrad Raab to claim the Championship for the second time in his career! The moment was accentuated with more than mere shock and surprise. There was a sense of delight in the fans in London – acceptance of the re-rise of Man Mountain as a fan favourite.
NOVEMBER 14, 2018
The O2 Arena
London, England
Shortly after winning the Championship, Derek and Cookie emerged through the curtain into the backstage area. Derek had the Championship belt pressed to his chest so tightly that an imprint of the belt might have reasonably been pressed in with it. With Cookie, his somehow-wife, hanging onto his as he walked, the most unlikely of couples were approached by a reporter from an unknown network. Dressed in a baby-blue suit completed with a Union Jack tie, the reporter had a flip book with him to take notes. This wasn’t a typical interviewer. This wasn’t going to be a typical interviewer.
Reporter: “Derek Adonis… congratulations on becoming the SCW Television Champion…”
Derek holds his hand up, immediately cutting the reporter off.
Adonis: “That’s CHAMPION of TELEVISION!”
The Reporter laughs, scribbling onto his notepad to correct his notes later.
Reporter: “Yes, of course. How silly of me.”
Adonis: “That’s okay, old bean. You didn’t know any better, so I can forgive your transgression.”
Reporter: “That’s most kind of you. How does it feel now that you’re a two-time Champion of Television?”
Adonis breathes heavily, wiping some of the sweat from his brow as he smiles.
Adonis: “It’s amazing, Chap! This is going to open up so many more opportunities for me! Another season of KABLAMasutra: The TV Series! We might even be able to launch the KABLAM Home Shopping Network, where you will be ordering all of your KABLAM merchandise like the book, KABLAMaerobics, Manvel’s Personal Body Oil… But before we can do any of that, Cookie and I have to go out to celebrate tonight. IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!!”
Adonis winks obnoxiously as Cookie begins to jump up and down excitedly, bringing the attention of the reporter exactly where you think it would go.
Reporter: “That’s certainly not unexpected for a man of your voracious appetite.”
Adonis: “Great word! “Voracious”! I’ll be sure to look that up later.”
Reporter: “Anyway, I wouldn’t want to keep you from your celebrations. But before you go, I wanted to reach out to you as the new Television… er… Champion of Television…”
Derek nods, satisfied.
Reporter: “And invite the two of you to come in and spend some time on the BBC.”
Derek’s smile suddenly freezes, replaced by confusion. Cookie appears to be ecstatic by the offer.
Adonis: “On the what now?”
Reporter: “You know the BBC… it’s kind of a big deal.”
Adonis: “That’s definitely what I heard. What kind of game are you trying to play with me here?”
Reporter: “I’m not sure I follow. You’re becoming quite the big deal yourself, and between you and the BBC there could be something truly memorable.”
Adonis: “I don’t doubt it would be memorable.”
Reporter: “And I could tell you that the BBC would LOVE you!”
Derek again nods, understanding the point even if he isn’t entirely on board.
Adonis: “Of course they would. I’m freakin’ ADORABLE! But… how can I say this without hurting the BBC’s feelings?”
Cookie: “Tell them the rules?”
Derek nods.
Adonis: “Great idea, baby!”
Cookie beams as Derek clears his throat.
Adonis: “Look, I’m flattered. In my younger days, I might have even been a little bit curious. But I have a reputation to maintain and, because of that, there are two rules I live by. The first one, which doesn’t really apply here, is that “Daddy Don’t Diddle”. I have a strict… strict… policy to make sure anyone who wants to ride Man Mountain is absolutely of the age of consent, because nothing would be worse for my KABLAMpire than to be caught with someone underage and thrown behind bars because of it. I don’t know if you can tell from my rough exterior, but I would NOT do well in prison.”
Reporter: “Oh, I think…”
Adonis: “I know… you think I’m not giving myself enough credit, and I thank you for that confidence in me, but believe me: I wouldn’t last. The second rule, which is kind of what we’re looking at here, is that “Daddy Don’t Ding Dongs”. What that means is, no matter what kind of offer comes my way, and they come often, my eyes and the rest of Man Mountain is reserved for lady use only. So, while I appreciate the attention bestowed upon Man Mountain, and while I’m sure the BBC is friendly and all, I’m going to have to take a hard pass on that…”
Reporter: “Mr. Adonis, you don’t…”
Derek slaps himself in the face, realizing his faux pas.
Adonis: “RIGHT! Sorry… “hard pass” was probably a bad choice of words. Let me try again… I’m going to have to unfortunately decline…”
He nods, having found the right words to avoid an unfortunate visit with the BBC. The Reporter still appears befuddled by all of this.
Reporter: “I meant the British…”
Adonis: “No, no, no! Don’t go conflating the issue by making it about nationality. I don’t play that game. Why, a few nights ago in Amsterdam, let’s just say that there was a moment when I had someone screaming “Amster-DAAAAAMN!” if you know what I mean!”
Reporter: “I’m sure I do…”
Adonis: “It’s just that I believe in following my rules. And if that means missing out on some BBC’s whether British or black or what-have-you, well, I’ll learn to cope, mmkay?”
Reporter: “IT’S THE BRITISH BROADCAST COMPANY!”
Derek pauses again. He attempts to work out the math in his head, thinking about what was just blurted out. He thinks first about British, which begins with a B. He then looks to Broadcast, which also begins with a B. Finally, his mind comes to Company, which begins not with a B, but with a C. He then puts the three together, coming out with…
Adonis: “BBC! THAT’S what you meant!”
He felt like a genius for cracking the code. Adonis laughs at his mistaken initials.
Adonis: “Well that’s embarrassing! Here I thought that when you were inviting me for time ON the BBC, you were referring to the Big Black C-…”
Reporter: “I…”
He blurts out quickly, preventing Derek from finishing his sentence.
Reporter: “I know what you meant.”
But Derek wasn’t convinced, and as he was sure that the Reporter wouldn’t cut him off again, he clarifies.
Adonis: “Cock.”
The Reporter sighs heavily.
Reporter: “I figured that out.”
Adonis nods, feeling like he accomplished something.
Adonis: “Now, if you’ll excuse me, the Champion of Television COULD celebrate solo, but I really don’t want to… IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!”
Cookie: “Ooh! Ooh! I know what you mean!”
Cookie again bounces excitedly in place. Derek looks at her, almost drooling where he stands (though that could also be the sweat from his match cascading down his forehead around his mouth). He turns over to the Reporter for one final word…
Adonis: “KABLAM!”
…Before heading off towards the locker-rooms with Cookie in tow. The Reporter, still bewildered at the conversation that just took place, shakes his head. Our scene shifts away…
----------
“Ladies and gentlemen, MAN MOUNTAIN is back ON TOP (KABLAM) of the Television scene in Supreme Championship Wrestling! It was a hard (KABLAM) fought match between myself and Konrad Raab, full of near-falls and a single full-fall. I’m fortunate enough to say that the full-fall belonged to me and, because of it, I am a two-time Champion of Television. That’s how the industry seems to work. The people who get full-falls are declared the winners, and those who only get near-falls don’t win until that near-fall becomes full.
Look at me giving you lessons in the “business”. I’m such a humanitarian!
Where was I? Oh right! A TWO-TIME Champion of Television! And like I said before, with being the Champion comes opportunity. What does that mean for you, the loyal KABLAM following? It means that you may soon see NEW innovations from KABLAM Enterprises! Yes, KABLAMinder is a runaway success despite the fact that there were a few early kinks that had all the ladies match with yours truly, but I made a few wonderful friends because of that IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN! But the rise of my Empire or “KABLAMpire” doesn’t stop there. I’ve already floated the possibility of having my own channel… the KABLAM Home Shopping Channel… where you could get everything you need to spice up your life, including the Spice Girls song “Spice Up Your Life”. I tell ya, if they came a-knockin’, it wouldn’t end with my door. I once had a dream where they all wanted to go their separate ways and it was up to me to convince them to stick together and show them they were a lot better with each other and BOY DID I SUCCEED THERE! KABLAM!
But that has nothing to do with KHSC. I’m also working on a SECOND book… not a sequel, but more of a memoir. I’m not going to spill my dirty secrets and tell you the ladies I’ve shared time with, but I am going to give you a motivational memoir so you, too, can live your best life! And maybe that will get turned into a movie which I can promise you would be the SAUCIEST MOVIE EVER MADE! Fifty Shades of Grey? Puh-LEASE! That might as well be BAMBI when compared to what I can deliver!
THE POINT I’m trying to make here is that none of this would have been possible without being the Champion of Television for a second time! I know Konrad Raab was disappointed in losing the Championship. He fought for a long time to get there and, in two weeks, it was callously taken away from him by the Stud of Studs. But that’s the way the cookie crumbles… not MY Cookie, mind you. She doesn’t crumble… she more melts if anything IF YOU KNOW… you know what I mean. WINK!!”
----------
Since winning the SCW Championship of Television, Derek Adonis had been on a bit of a whirlwind tour. He defended his Championship against his best friend Manvel in the first ever KABLAMARAMA Endurance Challenge, narrowly eking out a victory to retain his Championship. Bound By Blood came and went, with Derek and Cookie unable to persuade United States and then-Tag Team champion Bree Lancaster to become a spokesperson for the KABLAMpire. Something about being “repulsive” or something like that. It’s tough to say. But the KABLAMperor was undeterred, sending feelers (KABLAM!) out to the likes of Bianca Evans and Mikeala Street, both of which returned with very polite and cordial rejections. Since the narration says it’s polite, that must mean it was true, right?
Right?
Anyway, Derek decided to take a few days before returning to the SCW Tour to return home to Las Vegas, to his chapel, and to the child he only recently discovered he had. Sure, the mother – Chastity Rose – was largely embarrassed by even having her encounter with Man Mountain revealed, a complete 180 from her experience as it was going on (wink-wink), but the child was innocent. The child was pure. The child was somehow instantly corruptible. So as Chastity went out on a blind date with some goofus, Derek had his first bit of alone time with his kid.
What could possibly go wrong?
Adonis: “Hello, 911?”
Oh…
911 Operator: “What seems to be your emergency?”
Adonis: “Yeah, I have this kid who won’t stop crying and I don’t know what to do!”
911 Operator: “Okay… is the child in physical distress?”
Adonis: “Listen!”
He points the phone towards the child, who is screaming.
Adonis: “That’s not the normal sound I get from children. Kids love me! I remind them of Santa Claus playing Hugh Hefner! Kids love that shit!”
911 Operator: “Kids love Hugh Hefner?”
Adonis: “No… kids love Santa Claus. Work with me here! The kid keeps screaming! He won’t eat his chicken nuggets! He won’t dance along with the Elmo! He’s just slouching there like he’s had too much to drink.”
911 Operator: “When was the last time he ate?”
Adonis: “Well, his mother breastfeeds and she’s on a blind date right now, so…”
911 Operator: “Wait… you said the child breastfeeds?”
Adonis: “Yeah, the lucky bastard. Oh… I can say that because his mom and I aren’t together or anything.”
911 Operator: “Sir, I’m going to need you to focus. How old is your son?”
Adonis: “Um… 8 months or so?”
911 Operator: “Do you have any bottles?”
Adonis: “Yeah, what kind of host do you take me for? An unprepared one?”
911 Operator: “Kind of.”
Adonis: “That’s fair.”
911 Operator: “Sir, children at that age don’t eat chicken nuggets, especially full. You’ll have to feed him some jarred pureed vegetables and, for the love of God, give him a bottle!”
Adonis: “Will that make him stop crying?”
911 Operator: “Ideally, if he’s hungry, that will do the trick.”
Adonis: “Okay… okay thank you.”
Derek hangs up on his unnecessary 911 call. Moving to the fridge, he pulls out a bottle marked for that day and takes it to the child, young Ulysses Superman. Tantalizing the child with the tip of the nipple at his lips, the child accepts, opening his mouth and latching on, drinking. Derek sighs with relief.
Adonis: “New product: KABLAMdoms…. I’ll need to work on the name.”
Exhausted, he sits back in the chair as his son downs the entire bottle in relatively short order. However, it’s not long before…
911 Operator: “911. What seems to be your emergency?”
Adonis: “Hi! The kid won’t stop crying again! I don’t know what happened! I fed him, just like you said, and he was happier than a pig in…”
911 Operator: “Sir, please settle down.”
But Derek is undeterred from his previous description, having to finish what he was saying despite being rudely cut off.
Adonis: “…shit.”
911 Operator: “Right.”
Adonis: “And then he just started crying again! I really don’t know what to do this time! He isn’t hungry anymore, and this time his tears smell AWFUL!”
911 Operator: “Sir, are you sure those are his tears smelling awful? He could be defecating himself.”
Adonis: “I don’t know… he doesn’t seem to be losing any air.”
911 Operator: “No, not deflating. Defecating. Having a bowel movement. Pooping…”
Adonis: “Oh! Of course. I knew that.”
He didn’t.
Adonis: “So what do I do?”
911 Operator: “You’ll have to change your diaper.”
Adonis: “Right. Yeah. I knew that. Thanks.”
911 Operator: “You’re welcome, sir. But please, unless it’s an actual emergency, don’t call here again.”
The operator hangs up. Derek holds the phone away from his face.
Adonis: “Huh… rude.”
He shakes his head as he tosses the phone aside. Moving to his son, he lifts him out of the high chair, finally getting a full force of the smell.
Adonis: “Whoa! You are certainly ripe, aren’t you?”
Adonis carries the kid under his arm, rooting through the diaper bag provided by his mother to find a diaper and some wipes. He carries the child over to the washroom and sets him out on a mat inside the bathtub. Seems Derek has some instincts down…
Adonis: “The mat is there to clean up after sex.”
… or he’ll address the narrator directly and explain that to the world. After all, he wouldn’t possibly want his child to know that, would he? Well, knowing Derek Adonis, probably. He opens the diaper and immediately gets sprayed in the face. He shields himself with the diaper, causing some of the contents to flow out onto the child’s leg.
Adonis: “Son of a… sorry, I’m sure you love your mother very much.”
He turns on the tap of the bathtub and precariously shifts the child under it, leg first to wash away what had come on there, before turning him around to use the flowing water like a bidet. Using the wipe, he dries his son before laying him back down.
Adonis: “That’s why we use a mat. Easy to clean.”
He lifts the child’s legs up and slides the new diaper underneath. From there, it’s rather self-explanatory. He folds the front up, undoes the taped sides and applies them to the front, keeping the diaper firmly in place. Derek admires his job well done.
Adonis: “That wasn’t so bad…”
Derek smiles at his job well done. As the night passes, there are fewer 911 calls, and Ulysses passes out rather early. Derek decides to leave his child where he fell asleep, deciding that moving him would undoubtedly result in more tears. And the child would scream, too. Derek’s own maturation as an adult would be rather impressive, if we didn’t know any better.
Late at night, there was a knock at Derek’s door, stirring him awake. Groggily, he moves from where he had situated himself on the sofa near the sleeping Ulysses, and gets to the door. He peers through the peephole, seeing Chastity on the other side. He opens the door…
Adonis: “And where have you been, young lady?”
Rose: “Relax. You’re not MY father.”
She walks into Derek’s place, seeing the chair where Ulysses had fallen asleep, and her heart melts a little.
Rose: “Was he good tonight?”
Adonis: “Well, he ate. He pooped. So, a pretty good night for a small fry.”
Derek struggles with the small talk, but tries.
Adonis: “How was your date? Any good?”
Rose: “Another loser. I just seem to keep attracting them.”
Derek shrugs his shoulders.
Adonis: “Maybe you’re just looking in the wrong places.”
She laughs.
Rose: “I’m a single mother in Las Vegas. There are no “good places” to find… No.”
Derek smiles wide, which is something Chastity picks up on.
Rose: “No, I’m not getting that app!”
Adonis: “Come on! Show your support. KABLAMinder is revolutionary!”
Rose: “How is it not just a slightly-rebranded Tinder?”
Adonis: “Because… this uses… um… algorithms… and…”
Rose: “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”
Adonis: “All I know is it got me some MAJOR hits, if y-…”
Rose: “I know what you mean.”
Derek has to cope with having his line cut off again, without being able to finish it. After all, what good is finishing a line when it’s properly completed?
Rose: “Why do you even use it when you’re married, anyway?”
Adonis: “Cookie and I have an understanding.”
Rose: “You keep saying that… what does that even mean?”
Adonis: “Well, we’re going to need something before I explain it… take a seat.”
The scene shifts away, depriving you, dear viewer, of an audience for Derek’s life secrets and such… sorry.
[THE FOLLOWING WAS TAPED IN FRONT OF A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE]
Our scene rises up to a studio audience applauding politely, as studio audiences often do, to cheesy talk show music. We can see Cookie Dreams in her own balcony area managing something and jumping, jumping happily to the beat of the music, mesmerizing you. Manvel stands near her, operating the music and oiling himself to a state of being untouchable with a certifiable layer of oil on his body. And then there is Man Mountain himself, Derek Adonis, the SCW Champion of Television, standing center stage with his belt wrapped somehow around his waist, and a microphone worn upon his head like a 90’s boy band member.
“Ladies and gents, you’re here because you were in the mall doing your Christmas shopping, was offered a $25 gift card to attend a special live event and, like a prudent person, said yes! Congratulations and thank you for your trust. You’ll get your gift cards at the conclusion of this presentation, but in the meantime, enjoy the presentation. You’ll see “Applause” signs light up when the vivacious and curvaceous Cookie or the manly Manvel flip their switches. You’re encouraged to applaud when they are lit up. And… uh… yeah! We have quite the presentation for you today. For those of you who have never seen me before, you must have been living under a rock! My name is Derek Adonis and this…”
Derek pats the Championship around his waist, worn proudly with extenders to mitigate the risks of the belt popping off mid-presentation. See? For a man whose most intelligent moments involve the ladies, Adonis can be pretty crafty.
“This is the Supreme Championship Wrestling Championship!... of Television. I am the SCW Champion of Television! And to say that I don’t belong in the position I am in today is kind of mean. I mean, what kind of person would so haphazardly assume they know anything about me just because of how I look? Don’t be rude, audience, because if you’re rude, you miss out. And if you miss out, then you don’t get to say that you were on the ground floor of the movement that is sweeping the nation: KABLAMamania, Brother!”
The Applause signs light up, and the crowd indulges! Derek beams at this revelation: His vision had truly started to come to life.
“Thank you! Thank you! I know what you’re thinking. You’re looking at me and wondering how I even became a professional wrestler. Well, my beloved audience, that is a good question, and one I don’t mind answering. Now, you may not know it just looking at me, but I used to be less than successful. I was what industry insiders refer to as a “jobber”. I know, try to reconcile that reality with the physical specimen you see before you… the KABLAMopotamus! But, alas, it’s true. There was a time where I wasn’t very good inside the ring. My job was to go to the ring and try, try valiantly, but I always fell short. My mind was not in the right place. So, what did I do?”
The Applause light comes on again, leaving the crowd muttering in confusion.
“Sorry… we only have the Applause sign.”
There’s a smattering of applause from people who didn’t realize that fact, but those who got the hint give a collective gasp.
“What I did was change my mindset. I came (KABLAM!) to understand who I am. I learned how to work around my weaknesses as a performer and play to my strengths. At the tender age of redacted, I started meeting my potential.”
The Applause light fires up, and the crowd applauds this time since it seemed like a very good time to applaud.
“I turned my body into a finely-tuned work of art that Michelangelo would be PROUD to eat pizza with, much to the chagrin of Raphael, who was always kind of a hard-ass even though Leonardo was the leader. Donatello did machines. And Derek Adonis does KABLAM, which is more than just a word. It’s a way of life. It’s reading your KABLAMasutra. It’s doing your KABLAMaerobics… let me tell you, THAT program changed everything for me, turning me from a frump into someone who could run across the ring without getting winded. I am proof that with a little hard (KABLAM!) work, you can rise (KABLAM!) to the top.”
Derek pauses, laughing a bit.
“Get it? I say “KABLAM” when I make something that could be sexual.”
He laughs some more, with members of the audience joining in nervously.
“You get it. But there’s more to getting to the top than just GETTING to the top… wait. Hold on. Don’t applause that. I messed it up. There’s more to BEING on top than just GETTING to the top. Does that make sense? Once you get to the top, you have people coming left, right, and centre… all over the place… because they want what you have, and they won’t be happy unless they can get it AND take you down when they do. That’s what being Champion is like. For instance, just a week from now, I’m going to have FOUR guys trying to figure out what order they’ll get to challenge me in, and that’s only if I can get past a “Goddess” who’s coming after me on the same night!”
The Applause light goes on, testing the crowd. The crowd applauds, passing the test.
“Good… good, I like this. Anyway, this “GODDESS” is going to get to be the envy of ladies everywhere because she is going to get to put her hands all… over… this…!”
Derek disgustingly rubs his hands over his body in a suggestive manner. Really, it’s like a manatee trying to be sexy.
“Katie… Katie… KA-TIE! Katie Steward – one of the most decorated “rasslers”. A GODDESS with her own following of lovely ladies. Katie is going to get to live the DWEEM IF YOU WHEEEEELL! Because while you know that four others are going to be posturing for a crack at my shiny Championship of Television, Katie is going to have the closest shot at it and to get there, all she has to do is overcome aaaaaaaall of this! She is going to have to climb the mountain step by step… and that mountain is treacherous. It’s no ordinary mountain! It’s a BIG mountain! And walking isn’t enough to get up to the top. You have to get down and get your hands DIRTY as you climb. And to beat me, Katie is going to have to climb farther than she thought she would have to. She is going to have to reach the top… the very TIP of Man Mountain… she is going to have to rise to the occasion and get to the summit! KABLAM!”
The Applause light goes up again and the audience, though partially mortified, lightly applauds. The light then flashes repeatedly, prompting those hesitant to applaud. Derek, meanwhile, has a big grin on his face.
“So, I ask you, Goddess… no, no… I BEG of you…”
Derek gets down on his knees in front of the camera, clasping his hands together as he looks earnestly into the camera.
“Give it to me! Get your hands DIRTY! Really DIG into me. Because this is a NEW Derek Adonis! This is a NEW Man Mountain! This isn’t the Derek Adonis that everyone had their way with. This is the Derek Adonis that is fuelled by KABLAMaerobics! That is INSPIRED by the KABLAMasutra. And that is the SCW Champion of Television! I’m here to stay! I’m here to stay! So, help me Goddess, I am here to stay! KABLAM!”
With that, the Applause light fires up one more time, with Cookie jumping up and down to encourage people to stand, if even to watch her, and Manvel’s arm movements sends oil cascading down to the audience below. Derek remains on his knees basking in the commotion of lust over his wife and trying to get away from the raining oil. Derek grins cheekily and the scene fades to black.
----------
And then the morning comes…
Derek Adonis awakens from his slumber alone. Cookie hadn’t returned from her night out with Manvel, which Derek basically expected given their… *ahem*… “understanding”. Chastity had taken young Ulysses Superman home after a brief but frank conversation during which Derek explained said “understanding”, probably offered her a round two, only to be shot down. After calling a few contacts for KABLAMasutra: The TV Series season two, he got some sleep an that was that.
Until there was a knock on the door.
Derek hobbled out of bed clumsily, making his way towards his front door. Stepping to the peep hole, he spots two officers outside the door. Looking down, he hastily closes his housecoat, desperate not to show his pride to the male officers, before opening up.
Adonis: “Y’ello?”
Officer 1: “Are you Derek Marchetti?”
Adonis nods, confirming this.
Adonis: “Yeah… but most people call me…”
Officer 2: “It’s not important what most people call you.”
Officer 1: “My colleague is correct, Mr. Marchetti. You were listed as the emergency contact for a Mr. … “Jeff-rey”?
Adonis: “Jeff-rey! Yeah… hell of a guy. He used to work for me apparently. I thought he still did until he called me a few weeks ago and told me he quit last year. Boy was I embarrassed.”
Derek begins to laugh, but looks to the officers, who have stone-faces.
Adonis: “What’s up?”
Officer 1: “We’ve been investigating Mr. Jeff-rey for the last 18 months. We believe he’s involved in some high-level criminal enterprises.”
The news sends shockwaves through Adonis. Jeff-rey? HIS Jeff-rey? It didn’t seem possible.
Adonis: “That’s not possible.”
Officer 2: “We need to ask you a few questions… may we come in?”
Derek nods his head, stepping back from the door as the officers enter. They step through the door, looking around the area for any clues… anything that may be of service to them. Meanwhile, Derek continues to stare ahead blankly, not sure what to make of everything. Jeff-rey? HIS Jeff-rey? He had always seemed to be so loyal and competent. Could he really be a hardened criminal? That’s the question that the officers were coming for… but now Derek wanted answers to. The scene fades out.
[center] SCW Goddess | Katie Steward | "Victory, Defeat and a Book Burning" [/center]
{The episode starts in the fantasy world of old Ireland and the scene opens to the aftermath of the Pub brawl Katie and her Brats had with Bianca Evans’ and a bunch of the King’s soldiers. Katie, TJ, Katelyn and Autumn are long gone from the scene continuing on their journey. The Pub is now crawling with reinforcements of the King’s soldiers who shifts through the mess left behind and clean it up. The King walks into the Pub to check it out for himself. He looks around and notices the pile of ash left behind. The ash is what is left of the Katie slayed the demon Bianca. He walks over and leans down. He pulls out his silver hand and scoops up some ash and looks at it. He tilts his hand pouring the ash out of it and it falls to the ground like sand. He seems to know what it is and what was used to slay the demon.}
{The soldiers find a victim in the rumble. The Captain of the soldiers that Katie had fought. He breathes heavily and in a bit of panic still. The Banshee somehow didn’t take his life. The King walks over and questions him.}
Chad Evans: The fae who has my sword. Where did she go?
Captain: I… I don’t know… Everything when so bad, so suddenly. She had knocked me down with her wings and then the Banshee appeared.
Chad Evans: Yes. I can see that. Where is the Claíomh Solais?
Captain: I don’t know.
{The King seems annoyed by the lack of information and turns away and leaves the fallen soldier for the other to tend to him. The Kings walks over others to give his instructions.}
Chad Evans: She couldn’t have gone far. Tell everyone to spread out and keep a lookout for her and my sword. She won’t get away this time.
{The soldiers turn and exit the pub to follow their orders and the scene fades.}
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
{The scene changes to Katie, TJ, Katelyn and Autumn on a road. Autumn and Katelyn look a bit sore from their fight with the soldiers. For Katie she just follows them with TJ by her side. Katie looks distraught. Somethings weighing on her mind. There is a blur between fantasy and reality for a second as Katie hears the voice of her friend, Gina Pierce and their conversation recently.}
Katie Steward: How is everything going with my house?
Gina Pierce: Ugh Katie, I don’t know how to tell you this?
Katie Steward: Oh Goddess, they’re not finished yet, are they?
Gina Pierce: No. They finished with the repairs and they said you can move back home.
Katie Steward: Really? That’s great. Why didn’t you not know how to tell me that?
Gina Pierce: I know. You want to get back to your own home as soon as possible and I was ready to call you and tell you, but then they found black mold. I guess during repairs there was water pipe break and it’s just going to be a little longer.
Katie Steward: Oh…
{The scene fades back to the fantasy world and TJ decides to ask the question.}
TJ Johnson: What’s the matter? You seem to be bothered with something.
Katie Steward: It’s nothing. I just don’t know. We’re on this journey and it’s about me getting back my Goddess powers, but I don’t know what I’m suppose to do. I defeated Bianca. The demon that was haunting me. The whole reason that I’m not a Goddess anymore. The reason why I’m even here right now. I defeated her, but nothing happened. I’m still not a Goddess. I still haven’t returned to the status I once was at. I mean shouldn’t that have been it?
TJ Johnson: I guess maybe it wasn’t Bianca Evans that took your powers from you. There must’ve been some other catalyst that’s the cause. Don’t worry though we’ll find it and make you a Goddess again.
Katie Steward: I hope so, because I don’t know how much of this I can take. I just feel like we’re getting no where, but deeper into trouble and no way we’re making it out alive.
TJ Johnson: Maybe that’s what the trial is for you to pass. People need to have faith in you that you’ll lead them and make them feel safe. We’re here with you and we trust you. You found me in this world, after all. You can lead us through anything.
Katie Steward: I hope you’re right, TJ.
{Autumn and Katelyn stop in front of a gate and turn to the manor it’s protecting.}
Katie Steward: What is it? Why are we stopping?
Autumn Daniels: We need a place to stay for awhile. Out of sight from the soldiers that are sure to be looking after what happened. This place is far enough out of the way for us to be safe.
Katie Steward: Who lives here? Will they invite us in?
Katelyn Buehler: Well there seems to be a party happening now. It shouldn’t be too much trouble for us.
{Autumn opens the gate up for the party to walk inside the estate. They follow the pathway to the front door of the manor. Autumn knocks on the door and stands back as the group waits for someone to answer.}
{The door creeks open and out walks the Lord of the Manor, Derek Adonis. He wears a black cape and holds it up covering his body. He looks over Katie and her party inspecting them and then he smiles in joy.}
Derek Adonis: Oh fantastic, more guests have arrived to the party. Please come on in and have a KABLAM! Time. We’ve never had a guest not enjoy themselves.
{Derek turns and walks the party into the manor for the festivities. They enter and look around at the unique happenings going on. Most of the guests wearing masks and flirting among one another. Katie looks on a bit confused unsure of things. Katelyn smiles as she seems to be enjoying herself.}
Derek Adonis: Cookie.
{Derek Adonis snaps her fingers to get the attention of someone. A beautiful blonde walks over.}
Derek Adonis: Cookie, we have some more guests. Let’s see it that they have a very pleasant time. If you know what I mean.
Cookie: Oh I think we can do just that.
{Derek and Cookie laugh with one another that leaves everyone us uncomfortable. Derek walks away to tend to his other guests at the party leaving things with Cookie.}
Katie Steward: (raises her hand) Ugh excuse me, what is this place?
Cookie: It’s a party. Don’t you know what one of those are?
Katelyn Buehler: We’ve often suspected that she doesn’t.
Katie Steward: Hey! I know what a party is. I’m fun, ok. I have a lot of parties. I’ve been invited to a lot of parties. It’s just this isn’t a kind of party I’ve seen before. It’s all really… weird.
{Cookie is triggered by Katie’s choice of wording and looks to get really upset at her.}
Cookie: Are you going to be a problem? Please let me know now, because we have just the way of dealing with trouble makers.
Katie Steward: Uh no…
Cookie: Good. Now please all you go and enjoy yourselves.
{The Brats venture off into the party at the manor. Katie is the last to walk by Cookie who exchange a pair of watchful eyes in her direction. Making sure Katie knows she is being watched from any trouble that she may cause. Katie finishes her staredown with Cookie and turns to her party, but they all have scattered away.}
Katie Steward: Hey, where did everyone go?
{Katie walks off trying to find them in the party as the scene fades.}
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
{The scene changes to Autumn Daniels and TJ Johnson as they explore the party. They walk into the dining room where most of the guests are gathered. They seem to be focused around a cauldron taking turns drinking from me. Autumn can’t shake the strange feelings that something is pulling her to the cauldron. She tries to shake it off and just stop walking only to have TJ bump into her from behind.}
Autumn Daniels: Hey, watch it. Where are you going? Why are you following me?
{TJ looks around and sees he is the only one that followed Autumn out of the other room.}
TJ Johnson: Sorry, I though we were all going this way. Please don’t hurt me.
Autumn Daniels: You’re fine. I’m just a bit distracted.
TJ Johnson: What’s wrong?
Autumn Daniels: I don’t know. I think it’s that cauldron over there. It’s probably some stupid story point Katie has in her head to think of me as a witch. You know the same ole song and dance for me. Horsewomen of Death.
TJ Johnson: I’m sure it’s just an over sight.
Autumn Daniels: Yeah I’m sure it’s just an oversight.
TJ Johnson: If you want I’ll stuck out the cauldron for you so you don’t have to get near it.
Autumn Daniels: Go right ahead. Do whatever you want. I’m not going to stop you.
TJ Johnson: Ok.
{TJ volunteers himself up to Autumn and he heads over to the cauldron and acts as causal as he can around the people there.}
TJ Johnson: What’s up.
{TJ nods his head at some of the party goers. Most are preoccupied to notice him, but a couple of ladies turn. They check him out and TJ tries to flirt to get information.}
TJ Johnson: So you ladies come here often.
{The ladies respond with laugh and TJ turns Autumn to signal a thumbs up, but she has her back turned not paying any attention. He turns back to the ladies who are now staying right next to him.}
TJ Johnson: Woah, hey you’ve gotten awfully close now.
Party Goers: You want to party?
TJ Johnson: Uh, sure. I mean that’s why we’re here, right?
{She laughs at TJ and leads him to the cauldron. She dips her hand into it and holds it up for TJ to drink. He hesitates about drinking from her hand, but does anyways. The sweet nectar taste shoots through this taste buds and goes straight to the pleasure centers of his brain leaving him in a hippy induced state and the ladies lead TJ away by the hand as the scene fades.}
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
{The scene changes to Katelyn whose on the second floor of the party. She looks around the party amazed by it all. She walks over to the railing on the balcony and looks over it at the people below. Derek Adonis shows up behind her and walks over beside her.}
Derek Adonis: How are you enjoying the party, darling?
Katelyn Buehler: Oh, this is all just so amazing. How did you do it?
Derek Adonis: Oh I’d love to tell, but the secrets of the KALBAM!-Sutra are just that. A secret.
Katelyn Buehler: The KABLAM!-Sutra?
Derek Adonis: Oh good you know of it. So I can tell you, how fabulous. So people come from all over to experience the KABLAM! Some will very serious aliments to help with the misses, if you know what I mean.
Katelyn Buehler: In the bedroom. Sex.
Derek Adonis: Oh I love you. Get right to the point. You’re just a dirty one.
Katelyn Buehler: No. I wasn’t judging.
Derek Adonis: That’s good. We really are just healers, if anything else.
Katelyn Buehler: Is that what’s in the cauldron down there? Medicine?
{Derek looks over the edge of the railing at the dining room down below at the party gathered around the cauldron.}
Derek Adonis: Ah yes, the cauldron. It once belong to The Dagda. A God. He did everything that a God. Fertility, Manliness, Strength as well as a little bit of magic. Everything that the KABLAM teaches. The cauldron was a gift. It’s said that no one ever walks away from it it unsatisfied. Well everyone here is witnesses to that.
Katelyn Buehler: Wow, that is so cool. So they drink from the cauldron and get their mojo back.
Derek Adonis: So cute and smart. I can just eat you up. So adorable.
{Adonis takes a liking to the playful Katelyn and she laughs at his compliments. She then just to think about the cauldron’s story and Katie and puts two and two together.}
Katelyn Buehler: The cauldron gives someone back their mojo and Katie lost hers. So if Katie drinks from that cauldron then she will be the Goddess again. Oh My, the Cauldron is one of the treasures that she’s searching for!
{Katelyn grabs Derek’s arms and jumps up and down in excitement as she is excited after figuring things out. He joins in jumping along with her to be apart of the moment.}
Derek Adonis: I don’t understand a word you just said, darling. You are just so precious.
Katelyn Buehler: I have to go and find Katie and tell her. Our journey is going to be over.
{Katelyn turns and runs off to find Katie and tell her the good news. Derek turns to the balcony and looks at his party he’s hosting and just smiles to himself.}
Derek Adonis: That’s good. KABLAM! Helped another one. I am just amazed at myself.
{Derek turns and walks away as the scene fades.}
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
{The scene opens back up to Katie who strolls through the party trying to find her Brats. She manages to get away from the noise of the crowd by turning down the hallway away from everyone.}
Katie Steward: Oh thank Goddess, it’s quiet now I can think. Where is Katelyn and Autumn in this place?
{Katie continues walking down the hallway. A door opens near her and a couple walk out. Katie steps aside letting them pass by her and get back to the party. She notices the door still open and walks inside the room to check it out. Katie stands in the front of the room looking into it and the odd and interesting what can only be torture devices to use on people.}
Katie Steward: Oh, this place has a dungeon… great.
{The door behind her shuts close and a loud clicking sound is heard. Katie spins around to try and open the door, but it doesn’t budge.}
Katie Steward: No, No, No. Open you stupid thing. The dungeon is the last place I want to be.
{While Katie tries as she might to open the door. She then pounds on it with her fist to try and get someone’s attention. Cookie steps out from the shadows behind her.}
Cookie: Are we having trouble?
{Katie stops playing with the door and turns to Cookie.}
Katie Steward: No. I’m making trouble. I was just looking for my friends and got lost.
Cookie: I knew you were going to be a problem for us when I first laid eyes on you. Then you opened your mouth and let out your judgmental words.
Katie Steward: I’ll admit I might’ve misspoke earlier. For that I’m truly sorry. I didn’t mean it.
Cookie: Now you find yourself in my domain. I told you I know how to deal with people that want to cause problems.
{Cookie reaches her hand up at some items hanging from the ceiling. She pulls down a rapier fencing sword.}
Katie Steward: Are you serious right now?
Cookie: Like Derek would say, it’s a sport for a Queen. Do you partake? It is so much funnier when they fight back.
{Cookie gets into a ready position for fencing. Katie stands back a bit defensive not wanting any piece of the fight. Unfortunately for her that’s not an option she can take. Katie reaches for the Claíomh Solais and pulls it out of it’s sheath and wields it for the fight.}
Katie Steward: I don’t want to hurt you.
Cookie: Uh you’re just so unfun.
{Cookie tired of Katie goes in for the attack and the two harsh out a sparring session. Cookie trying to hit Katie while Katie desperately tries defending herself. The camera cuts to Katelyn outside running through the manor trying to find Katie. She runs pass the door where Katie is just as she hears Katie’s scream from inside. Katelyn spins around and runs to the door. She grabs the sliding view window and opens it to look inside.}
Katelyn Buehler: Katie! Are you in there?
{Inside Katie holds her cheeks and wipes off some blood with a small cut.}
Katie Steward: You bitch.
Katelyn Buehler: Hey bitch, yourself. Katie, I did it. I figured it out and all by myself too. Autumn didn’t even help me with it.
Katie Steward: Katelyn I’m a little busy right now.
Katelyn Buehler: Oh Hi Cookie. Love the party.
Cookie: Thank You.
Katelyn Buehler: But Katie, seriously I figured it out.
{Katelyn proceeds to explain to Katie the theory she came up with while Katie and Cookie spar inside of the Manor’s sex dungeon.}
Katelyn Buehler: I was talking to Derek right now and he told me about the cauldron they have here. I believe it’s one of the treasures we’re after. All you have to do is drink from it and you’ll get your mojo back. You’ll be the Goddess again. So let’s go. Open the door.
Katie Steward: I can’t. It’s locked and she won’t let me out.
Cookie: She didn’t say the safe work, yet.
Katie Steward: You didn’t tell me a safe word. I have to guess a word now?
Katelyn Buehler: (thinks) Katie, it’s KABLAM!
Katie Steward: What?
Katelyn Buehler: Just say it. Trust me.
{Katie hesitates for a couple of seconds as she thinks to herself how dumb it is. Then she remembers this is exactly why she’s in the mess she currently is trapped in.}
Katie Steward: (screaming) KABLAM!
Katelyn Buehler: You don’t have to scream it. Was that you O Face?
{Katie looks at Katelyn with an unamused look after fighting for her life. Cookie looks sad that her fun is over. She walks over and lifts the handle on the door to unlatch it so it opens and Katie sprints outside.}
Katie Steward: Oh Thank Goddess.
Cookie: Ok who are you people and what are you doing here?
Katelyn Buehler: We’re on a quest. See Katie is a Goddess, but she’s not a Goddess anymore. She lost her powers and now we have to get them back somehow. We’re trying to find the four treasures of the Tuatha Dé Danann who are the legendary people of Ireland. We’ve already got the sword that Katie used to defeat her demon and the stone that brought us here. Now I believe the next one is the cauldron. I Katie drinks from it then she should be a Goddess again.
Cookie: I have no idea what you just said, but we do have the cauldron. It was a gift to Derek from the King.
Katie Steward: Wait, what did you just say?
{The scene changes to the front door of the manor right when the doors are broken through by the King and his men. He marches inside and Derek comes out to meet with him.}
Derek Adonis: Your Majesty what brings you out here in our neck of the woods? Are you looking for some entertainment? We can get your usual room ready if you’ll like.
Chad Evans: We are looking for a thief who has taken my sword. She found herself a small group she’s traveled with. Have you seen them?
{Katie, Katelyn and Cookie run up some stairs and overlook the scene.}
Derek Adonis: No. I don’t believe so. Then again we don’t ask questions here. It’s not the KABLAM! Way.
Chad Evans: Derek, if you’re lying to me.
Derek Adonis: Oh I would never. The thought has never even crossed my mind.
{Autumn is lead out of the other room, found by the solider that she assault back at the pub. He cautiously holds his weapon on her.}
Solider: I found one of them, sir. She was in the dining room watching the cauldron. I think they were planning something.
Chad Evans: What are you up to?
Derek Adonis: I am just as shocked and appalled as you are, King. I allow these people into my home and they in turn disrespect the KABLAM! If you leave her here, sir I will foresee it that she gets the punishment that she deserves. We’ll have her talking and find the others.
Chad Evans: No. We’re take her and we’ll question her.
Katelyn Buehler: Oh no, Katie what are we going to do? We can’t let them take Autumn.
Chad Evans: Also men take the cauldron with us too.
Derek Adonis: What? What do you mean? You can’t take the cauldron. It was a gift. The party can’t go on without it. It’s what KABLAM! is.
Chad Evans: I’m sorry Derek, but I just can’t trust you.
Katelyn Buehler: No. They’re taking the treasure and Autumn. They’re winning.
Katie Steward: I’m thinking.
{TJ runs up and hides with Katie, Katelyn and Cookie on the balcony.}
TJ Johnson: I heard what’s happening. What are we doing? What’s the plan?
Katelyn Buehler: Where’s your shirt?
TJ Johnson: That’s not important.
Katelyn Buehler: You drank from the cauldron and were part of this orgy.
TJ Johnson: I can’t and won’t confirm or deny those allegations. I didn’t know the cauldron was magical like that.
Katie Steward: Ok, Katelyn and TJ you get Autumn, Cookie gets Derek and I’ll just to fight the soldiers taking the cauldron.
Katelyn Buehler: Is it safe? Can you do that?
Katie Steward: I have the sword of light. This is my quest. I have to be the one out there, not you guys.
{Katelyn, TJ and Cookie sneak off to follow Katie’s instructions. Katie takes a deep breath and stands. She weids the sword of light and spreads her white and pink butterfly wings. She hops over the railing and drops to the floor below into a group of soldiers. She knocks them all down and bends her knees on the landing so she doesn’t break a leg. She kneels their for a second before standing up. The entire party has their eyes on her as she holds the sword of light and her wings spread out. More soldiers come and challenge her and she fends them off.}
{Katelyn and TJ easily take out the guard holding Autumn. Autumn freed she tries to get her some of the fight, but Katelyn and TJ hold her back and make their retreat as Katie’s instructions.}
{Katie seems to have everything under control as every soldier that fights her is defeated by the sword of light and the last one goes down. She turns to the soldiers walking the cauldron out. Before she can run after them she has the blade’s end of a rapier touching her throat. The camera pans out to show Derek holding it and Cookie standing by his side.}
Derek Adonis: Now that is just about enough. Oh Cookie was right about you. Just a little ball of trouble, aren’t you.
{Katie hears Derek and Cookie laughing right before she is backhanded by a silver hand of the King that knocks her out cold. The sword drops to the ground just for the King to pick up and regain possess.}
Derek Adonis: So you got yours, do we gets ours back?
{The King looks at Derek and just shakes his head walking out of the manor. Some of the soldier picks themselves back up and grabs Katie dragging her out with them. The Goddesses’ journey looks to be completely defeated.}
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
{The scene changes to Hollywood, California on a studio lot and inside the studio Katie Steward sits in her director’s chair. She wears her white and gold ring robe in front of a green screen. She has a fire going near her in an iron fire pit.}
Katie Steward: At Bound by Blood I was not successful. I didn’t win anything. I didn’t prove anything. Nothing of any significance happens at Bound by Blood other than my awakening. I didn’t beat Bianca Evans. It was a matter of survival. Someone came for my crown and I had to fight them off. It’s not the first time that’s happened it probably won’t be the last time, but I was just asleep at the wheel and nothing hit me until the end of it.
Katie Steward: Now the Goddess is woke. What happened at Bound by Blood wasn’t a victory, but a statement that the Bitch is back. What Bianca show the world wasn’t that she was the new Goddess for everyone to worship, but she was the new Katie Steward. The Queen B and everything. That is what I realized I had lost. I’m done with everything now. I’m done trying to make nice. Bianca is really great and amazing at not caring about what anyone thinks and just does what she wants. It in all honesty was really the most touching tribute to my legacy she could do. Of course she wanted to be a Goddess, of course she is a bitch. Of course she spoke to me and touch my heart. I needed it every bit because what lies beyond Bound by Blood is every single person in SCW that I need to destroy and remind them who I am. That’s why I decided to a little light reading to prepare for Breakdown.
{Katie picks up a book that is resting in her lap. The flashes the paper cover that covers the book revealing the Kablam-sutra. She flips through the papers all of which seems to be blank as it’s just a prop she’s using.}
Katie Steward: With my somewhat victory at Bound by Blood against my somewhat equal and admirer Bianca Evans. I go from a Queen Bitch to just a Queen. To a muse. To a sexual healer. To quite an exciting and thrilling author of one of the most interesting books of our generation. Oh wait, no I’m sorry I get a smut filled book of depravitiy that of course that less than attractive and disgusting side of society will eat up like it’s gospel.
{Katie rips a page from the book and throws it into the fire.}
Katie Steward: This is what the bitch, me is going to do to Derek Adonis on Breakdown. Just take his message apart piece by piece and burn the smut in fire.
{Katie rips out another page from the book and tosses it into the fire.}
Katie Steward: And nothing of any value will be lost. Because at the end of Breakdown Katie Steward will earn her prize. Katie Steward will become the Television Champion. The one title that she is meant to hold. Then every week I can spread the great and beautiful words of the Goddess to the masses and the depraves don’t get any exposure. For every second that passes by the Television Championship loses it’s lust.
{Katie tears out another page and burns it in the fire. She shakes her head and starts to laugh.}
Katie Steward: We all have to be believers, right. Not in a Selena Frost kind of way, but about faith. That’s what this is. I am going to destroy this garbage Kablam and win the TV Title. This is what the Goddess wants. This is how I will earn her trust back. Nothing will make me more prouder than doing just that. In fact, we’ve haven’t had a good book burning in I don’t know how long.
{Katie tosses the book into the fire pit and begins to burn.}
Katie Steward: Kablam is disgusting. It’s sickening. I can already hear and know exactly what Derek Adonis is saying about me in prep for our match at Breakdown. All the disgusting people will love every single second of it. Bound by Blood just makes everything a little bit easier to deal with. Because the Queen B is back and she isn’t going around. No matter how much it turns my stomach to hear Derek Adonis speak about me. As bad as it is to see the TV Championship on him. Supreme Champion is the further thing from my mind. I just want to hurt him and hurt him I will. That’s what the bitch does.
{Katie stands up out of her director’s chair. She fixes her robe and walks off the set. The camera turns to the crackling fire and the kablam-sutra burning as the scene and the episode end.}