OOC: The following is a sort of CD/promo hybrid – but it can be seen as a shoot only – as a prologue to what is coming up. Filmed the weekend before the last Breakdown. Enjoy.
I of the Storm
“Proposals”
Selena felt her bare feet brush against the carpet, the stiff fabrics of the long, wide rug comforting her ankles and arches of her feet, as she paced around the room. She had been doing so for the better part of an hour and a half, as if the repetitive moment would give her enough confidence – or courage – to do what she
knew in her heart she had to do.
It's what needs to be done... she thought, though when she heard her own voice echo the sentiment by speaking the thought aloud, she shook her head.
Doesn't mean I have to like it... she added, which her voice whispered as well.
Some part of you wants to want it though... doesn't it?
That thought was all in her head – there was no voice saying it aloud. The Snow Queen wouldn't dare. Admitting it aloud... it was practically as bad as admitting to the world that she was... that she was...
“An alcoholic...” her voice whispered, the sound unable to leave the quiet room that was her study/office within her Manhattan home. As she turned around in her 'pacing trail', her eyes took in the books that lined her shelves around the inner-perimeter of the room. She had every kind of book there, though she hadn't read them all – her schedule making that damn near impossible, but she knew what the majority of books were.
Fantasy, of course. Stopping for a brief moment, Selena cast her eyes toward a particular spot in the circular room – specifically the right side of the wall that served as a barrier to her 'secret chamber' of SCW accolades, where she had kept her trophies, pictures, and darkest secrets within. Her eyes fell on the dark-blue book first, with golden etchings along the binding and filled the words of the title. “The Snow Queen” by Hans Christen Anderson. Selena smiled at the sight – it was her favourite book – and also the trigger to unlocking the barrier/panel to her secret room, and while that book of the story was fake (a wooden replica connected to the locking and unlocking mechanisms of the hidden entrance) – The Snow Queen of SCW spied the books surrounding it. Tales like “Peter Pan” and “Snow White” and “Rumplestiltskin” and countless other fairy-tales and fantasy books. She drew from those books frequently to read to her little ones – her darling three children.
In short, fantasy was the platinum-blonde's 'go-to', not hard to imagine when her very core – her tagline in SCW – was 'Believe it!'.
But how the hell can I believe this?
Reality crept in with that question, causing the young woman, for the umpteenth time, to stare at her computer sitting patiently on her desk, as if saying to its owner 'When you're ready...'
“You are not talking to me.” she shook her head with a sigh. “I've got enough voices in my head.”
“Nope.” came the answer, but it wasn't the computer or the voices in Selena's mind – for which she was beyond grateful for. No, this came from Selena, herself, adopting one of the 'character voices' she used when reading her fantasy books to her children – a higher-pitched voice than her usual soft tone.
“I'm just going to tell you that you kinda have to do this.”
“That's easy for YOU to say!” Selena replied as she resumed her pacing. “You're just the tool used to convey the message. She's going to come after me – focus on me.”
”So?”
“So?” Selena scoffed at the 'voice'. “You ever have a fight with the mouse?”
”Not really. Though I did have issue with the printer once or twice.”
“The printer?” Selena cast her eyes the few feet needed across the room, where , to the left from where she stood, was a second desk with a medium-sized printer sitting on top, along with several items of stationary. A pen to sign her name on sheets, a stapler, box of staples, tape, etc. “What did it do to you?” she asked.
”Well,” replied the computer.
”This one time, it wouldn't stop complaining! First, it said it was out of paper, then it said it was 'out of link', then it said it had 'paper jam' issues, and then – as if that weren't enough – it wouldn't return ANY of my requests!”
”EXCUSE ME!” came another voice, this one deep and drawling – and Selena also decided to try and give it a bit of a southern accent.
”But I do declare! The issue was not on my end, ya old light-bright!”
”Was too!” countered the computer to the printer.
”You were just having a bad day and decided to take it out on EVERYONE in the room!”
”As I recall, it was YOU that wasn't properly connected to ME – I told you we needed to see therapy!”
“Don't you mean 'technical support'?” Selena asked both her electronic devices.
”Potato, potatoe, ma'am!” stated the printer.
”Point is that it was Ms. CPU-screwed-up that made the mistakes.”
”How is it my fault?! I got tired your whining and started ignoring you! Maybe if you stopped whining!”
”How is it whining?”
”Well, let me see! Does this sound familiar? 'Oh! I need more paper! Oh! I need more ink! When are you gonna get me the 'color-ink cartridge?! The printer upstairs has a color-ink cartridge!'”
”Well it does!”
”You're selfish!”
”I have needs, ya hunk of junk!”
”EXCUSE ME?!”
”Ya heard me! You whine and cry for 'updates' more than any of us, but when we need some attention from the boss lady – ohhh, suddenly we're the ones whining! How many updates do you get a day, huh?”
Selena turned her head towards the computer, shrugging her shoulders. “He's not wrong.”
”That's different!” protested the computer.
”I need to be at my best! I protect everything important to Selena! All the files, letters, EVERYTHING. I break down, she could lose so much!”
”Oh please! She's got backup hard-drives! You break down, you're replaced like the rest of us! You're just sitting there on your high pedestal because she uses you more than us!”
“Does...” Selena stopped her pacing to stare at the printer. “Does that bother you? That I use the computer more than you? I mean... I can understand if it does. There are times that I wish I could do more – be more of a part of SCW. I know that sounds selfish, especially given everything I've been blessed with in the last few months alone, but... I mean, I'm not even on the website banners... is that wrong to want to be part of that?”
She didn't want to sound petty or immature in bringing up such a subject, even if it was, essentially, just to herself. Still, the 'dialogue' between her devices had given the question existence, and she wanted an answer.
”Nah, darlin'.”
”Kinda...”
Selena rolled her eyes. “Agreeable, I see.”
”Well, it sounds like you're being petty. You want the spotlight on you – you LIKE being the “Face of SCW” and you LIKE being the center of attention.
”Pot...Kettle...Black...” chimed in the printer.
”How is that-”
”Cause you just, essentially, said you're better than the rest of us. Cause you 'protect everything important to Selena'.
”That's the truth!”
”And you don't LOVE feeling that important? That NEEDED?”
Silence filled the room, Selena casting her gaze back and forth between her computer and printer.
”A little...” muttered the former.
”Exactly!” prompted the printer in triumph.
”That's all boss-lady is doing. Is she going to go stir-crazy like blonde 1 or blonde 2 to get it? Nah!”
“I'm sorry.” Selena held up her hand. “Blonde 1 and blonde 2?”
”I think he means 'Sienna Swann' and 'Syren'.” stated the computer.
”Couple of things that must have come from the Zerox machine!”
”Hey! Don't blame me for that!”
Turning her head just off to the right, Selena spied the large machine sitting close to the printer and the side of the table said printer sat on, her Zerox machine sounding more like Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh.
“I didn't make them.”
”Someone must have.” scoffed the printer.
Blonde, whiny, think they're being 'held back'? Selfish, fake, think they're 'gods' gift to wrestling'? Not an original thought in either's head?”
Actually, the more the printer 'spoke', the more Selena could not 'argue' with it. Two supposed captains of the teams, Sienna Swann and Syren – it was not hard to see the similarities between the two, especially now that Syren had the World title in her possession and Sienna, once more, was fighting to get it back. And while the Snow Queen knew that there was a world of difference between them in the ring – giving the edge to Sienna as the better wrestler (say what you would about her personality, the Iron Angel had earned her award last year as Female of the Year, at least in the eyes of the Snow Queen) – outside of the ring, there was little difference at this point.
And don't forget the third link in that chain...
Holding up her hands as that thought entered her brain, Selena shook her head. “Guys, please!” she stated, earning the silence of the room. “Why am I arguing with all of you?! This isn't about ANY of that! I've already got a slot booked for next week to film 'Frozen Central'. We don't need any more promo material.”
”So, why you doing this?” dragged the Zerox machine.
The platinum-blonde sighed. “Because I need to do something and I don't know if I can?”
”But if ya have to...ya have to...”
Selena shrugged. “But that would mean...giving the power back to her...”
”And that frightens you...”
“Of course it does!” Selena suddenly spat. “I mean, I do this – she could do gods know what to me... to Deanna! David, Amiliah, Elsianna! Hell, she'd probably kick Oberon just for good measure!”
”So why take the chance? Why not just meet her where there isn't so much of what's yours in view?”
And Selena had thought about that for days. Locations like one of the house shows they had gone through last week or a general location in Manhattan – hell, even Nome, her hometown, where the source of the cold that ran through Selena's veins, was given some thought as a location.
But the truth was probably more obvious than Selena's stress – if all this voice-acting was not enough of an indication. There was too much damage to heal with just a little pep-talk. That had worked ten days ago – when Jennifer, Regan's daughter, had brought Selena to the Hellcat – it had worked for Breakdown to put an end to Ravyn's time as Adrenaline Champion. But that had been a common goal... a common enemy for the night. This was not just winning a match. This was healing years and years of damage...
”What have you got to lose?” asked the printer.
“Making things worse.” Selena laughed. “Last time I did this, it caused everything to fall apart.”
”Maybe this is what is needed to fix it then. But if you don't take that risk...”
With a sigh, Selena's head lowered to stare at her bare feet, the little toes flexing and relaxing. “I'll endanger SCW...” she whispered in answer, lifting her head up as the devices were, once more silent.
In the end, that was it. That was all there was too it. Maybe Selena was somewhat endangering her family by doing this – though Deanna didn't think so- but if she didn't, there was no 'maybe' about it. SCW
would be endangered. And all the fans – the whole SCW Universe – would pay the price because she didn't at least try.
“Someone has to try...” she whispered.
With a deep breath, and while her mind was still resolved, the platinum-blonde strode over to her computer, sitting down at the seat, booting the machine up – never questioning how it could have 'talked' when it was not even turned on – and set up her video recorder with her webcam. It took only a few seconds to set everything in place, the shot showing only her sitting in her black, leather, accent chair, golden pins sequined throughout it. As if to calm her nerves, the Snow Queen gazed at her reflection, using the camera and screen in front of her to adjust her iconic braid and check to make sure the dark-blue of her sweater, with snowflakes lining the left-side of the neck-hole and down the top of the left shoulder/clavicle, did not blend into the chair.
“For SCW...” she whispered a few times, closing her eyes and breathing deeply. “For SCW...For SCW...”
When the moment felt right, she used the mouse to click on the red button, giving the camera a few seconds to flicker and begin recording...
REC:
She smiled quietly for a moment before lifting her hand as a crisp, single wave.
Hi, Regan.
Part of her thought that was too casual, but she didn't want to stop now. She wasn't sure if she'd get through it if she did.
I'm guessing you were expecting something from me at this point. Maybe something grandiose? Something similar to what we did last July?
Shaking her head, Selena reaches her right hand up to press into her temples.
Can't believe I'm starting off with that. Peace talks that start with 'remember the time we hated each other?'.
With sigh, Selena turned her head back to the camera/screen.
This isn't easy for me, Regan. Can't imagine it's easy for you. What you and I have agreed to do...
I'm still baffled. I mean, you agreed before you knew I was joining the team. So, I could have given you that. But when Sasha asked me? I mean... I expected you to curse and leave then and there...
And I wouldn't blame you if you did! I mean... name ONE other pair of people that are FORBIDDEN to ever fight in an SCW match ever again. One other rivalry between current SCW superstars where management stepped in and said “No more!”. That was how bad it got between you and me – practically killing each other just to prove something...
And it's funny because... Selena shakes her head, merely speaking from as much of her heart as she can.
I don't even remember what we were trying to prove. Was it revenge on your part for what Mr. D. felt he had to do to teach you to respect the company? Was it because you attacked our boss, a non-wrestler, and shoved others? I mean... I know you did that, but when I look back at that match, at what we did to each other – and everything else in our past... It just... it just...
Another shake of her head.
Compared to this... compared to now... it seemed so trivial. Maybe it's because Mr. D. is leaving and part of me wishes that I had spent more time learning from him, being part of matches that would make him proud – maybe even want to stay on longer. Maybe it's the fact that what I felt we were fighting for – SCW and what it should be about – ultimately, we didn't change it either way. Not like we wanted, I mean. Yes, I got the 'accountability' when you apologized to Mr. D. and you got your 'freedom' of sorts because the boss started working with you to make things better for you – I mean, that's why you have the Adrenaline title, now...
But here we are, about to fight for the fate of SCW again...
A soft inhale and exhale of breath from the platinum-blonde before she continues.
Come on... she mutters to herself.
Has to be done...
Another deep breath, this one harsher than the last before Selena turns her head to stare at the camera, her tone sharper.
You know you and I are just a big joke to the others, right, Regan? she scoffs.
Bree and Sienna? Syren and Ravyn? Screw what Giovanni thinks – I don't think anyone can truly read him, not even his teammates. But those four? We're just a big joke. And I don't mean single-wise. On our own? Yeah, let's see how far THAT argument goes. You, holding the Adrenaline title after destroying Regan and me? Well, I'll get to that. Point is, on our own, no one would see us as 'jokes'. But together? Selena shakes her head.
Just wait for it. Syren? Ravyn? Bree? Sienna? They know we can't get along – they'll bet all they have on it. They'll wager you and I won't be able to be in the same cage, even if there IS two rings within it! They'll peg us as an unstable fire that will burn down Sasha's team and make it easy pickings for them...
And I won't blame them when they air their promos and do just that.
Like I said, Regan, we were BANNED from having matches against each other. The Hellcat and Snow Queen – together?
Selena bites her lower lip, casting her eyes up and away from the screen as she takes a moment.
Three years ago, that seemed so easy. Me, supporting you as you beat Ravyn to become the World champion. You, supporting me as I fought over the Adrenaline championship. With Sienna, as Platinum – it was SO easy. Maybe that's me looking at the past with nostalgia or rose-tinted glasses, but back then? Gods... wrestling was easy because I had you two there. And I have friends now, I know! But-
Selena stops herself, as if unsure where to go with her thoughts.
I'm rambling. She settles on saying.
Why can't I just say what I need to say? Why is THIS so hard?! Promos against you were so goddamn easy seven or so months ago! 'You're crazy! You're out of control! You're selfish!' and you:
Selena's voice suddenly adopts a slight gruffness as she adopts an imitation of Regan Street.
”Oh! This is all Selena's fault! She did that crap at the Best of the Best Tournament in 2016! Made this all about her! Showed that she cared only for herself!”
A slight smile breaks across Selena's face.
It'd be so easy to go back to that. Part of me wishes we could. Cause hating someone is much easier than trying to forgive them. Trying to- she catches herself, as if she hadn't meant to say that word allowed. 'Forgive'. Closing her eyes to breathe slowly, Selena nods her head as if hating to admit her next set of words.
Yes, Regan. I want to forgive you – maybe more than that, I want you to forgive me. Maybe it was that Royal Letter I did in 2016 that was the start of all of us falling apart. Maybe, unintentionally, I made it all about me winning it so I could keep my last name as a 'Frost'. Maybe that was selfish, but Regan, I didn't mean it to be! And maybe I'm LONG overdue with this but – for what little it is worth: she takes a shaky breath.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry because it took me so long to see things from your point of view. It...it was so damn easy just to lump you in with Syren and Ravyn and Sienna and Bree – women whining and crying that things weren't being handed to them on a silver platter. That they weren't being idolized as 'goddesses' or 'legends' or whatever.
But... that wasn't what it was about for you, was it, Regan? I mean, I stand by Mr. D., but even I will admit that he crossed a line when he banned David from being in the Hall of Fame. I told him as much. But... I could have done more... Selena shrugged.
Maybe I should have. Maybe I should have been louder or more vocal... Maybe I should have been more demanding that he stop doing what would 'try and control you' like he did with Red Rayne and instead do 'what was right' and leave you and me to hash out the rest inside the ring...
Selena shakes her head quickly as she shrugs.
Hindsight, I know. And the thing is: All I've read and heard from the crowd and will, undoubtedly hear from our opponents will be reminders of what you did to me:
Smashing a monitor into my face.
Dropping a crate on my foot.
Whipping me with a cat-of-nine-tails of barbed wire.
Stealing snippets of my hair and referring to it as 'horse hair'.
But those things, Regan... I mean, when it was Platinum, you just wanted to make me a better and stronger wrestler through support and understanding. As my rival and greatest enemy... you, inadvertently, did the same thing. The losses to you made me realize I needed to change. I needed to get away. Memories of what you did to me – what so many others like Ravyn and Syren and Bree and Sienna and Giovanni – would do to me without hesitation...
It made me realize that I needed to change or I'd always be the one on the ground, injured or worse. I needed to evolve and become better. Stronger, tougher, even... the Snow Queen looks down at her pale hands.
Colder.
So... what kind of woman would I be if I believed that I needed to change – and COULD change – but then join the bandwagon and say that you and I can't change? That Regan Street can't change and be on SCW's team for Tactical Warfare?
Biting her lower lip, Selena slowly answers her own question.
I'd be a scared woman, Regan. That's what I'd be. I'm not scared of them, no matter what Bree or Sienna or that fake World Champion can say – I am not afraid of them. I'm not afraid of my opponents or even Kennedy and Trinity – and my wars with both have been demanding as well.
But teaming with you? Be-Believing in you... That terrifies me.
Despite herself, a stray tear escapes Selena's eyes, which she quickly bats away.
Damn it, I won't hear the end of this. I'm scared of believing in you, Regan, because of the past, yes, but I'm scared of what it will do if I do and you simply take me out again. Because you are the best at it. Who can deny that? You orchestrated everything at last year's Trios. You planned every victory in your head so beautifully on how to take me down. No one, not even a mastermind like Ravyn or a crazed mind like Giovanni knows how to take down Selena Frost better than Regan Street.
And if the stakes weren't so high – if this was about the United States title I hold proudly – I'd chalk it all up to 'take the chance' and standing by my belief of 'fight till you can't' and wrestling anyway.
But there is SO much more on the line here, Regan! So much more!
With a huff, Selena runs a frustrated hand through her hair.
Do you think I'm arrogant enough to say that we weren't lucky, Regan? Are you? I don't believe that you are. Despite all, I think you're one of the smartest tacticians in SCW. Yes, you can be crazed, the Hellcat, but it wasn't that that took down Ravyn, was it? You outsmarted Katya! You outsmarted Ravyn!
So...with all of that said, Regan... answer me this honestly – not some false bravado like your “those victories don't count” speeches you threw at me. Woman to woman, tell me the truth: We were lucky, weren't we?
It was lucky that Aaron Demetria stepped in and counted that pin that kept the United States Title on me. It was luck that Mr. D. stepped in and promised you a rematch with Ravyn for the Adrenaline title. It was luck that he also stepped in when Katya tried to vacate our titles. We would have been powerless otherwise – and certainly not champions, Regan. And I can live with that – it would not change how I feel about wrestling or how I believe I should be...
But it gave me a view of the future, Regan. And, maybe you won't admit it, but you and I? We won't survive if we destroy each other in that chamber. We won't last long after Retribution if you and I prove everyone right and just try and kill each other again. Ravyn and Syren will laugh at us and Sienna and Bree? They'll join in as Owen and Kennedy risk the match and, possibly, their own health trying to separate us from each other.
And SCW? It will suffer most of all.
Using her thumb to scratch her nose for a moment, Selena slowly looks back at the camera.
I confess, Regan. I've not liked how my matches with you were handled. Mikalea interfering constantly, the incessant use of weapons being used – but, I'll admit... you never broke the rules with me. Even Hazardous Envy. The minute the bell rung, you stuck to the rules. Vicious and destructive that you were/are – it wasn't enough to win by 'any means'. You wanted to win by dominance and what better way than to do so by the rules of each match, even if there were none?
So, tell me, Regan... is what Sienna and Syren – talking about 'fairness' and 'rules' and 'the people'? Is that what YOU want SCW to be? Is what happened to me – taking on not just a vicious woman like Christy Matthews trying to end my career, but also a bias referee like Alexander Crowe... was that ever fair to you?
You held that U.S. championship, Regan! Would it have been fair to you? Because that will be our night over and over and over again if we fail. If we let Syren, Sienna or Giovanni pull the strings of whoever runs SCW. It will be nights like that over and over again, fighting just to stay alive, until... Selena's voice hitches in her throat.
Until we can't anymore...
She takes a moment to try and calm herself, feeling the raw emotion course through her body.
I know these matches, Regan. I've been in as many of them as you have. I won the United States title last month in one just like it. Please, after you watch this royal letter, go and watch the other ones I've been in – you were in one of them, remember?! Each one, I stepped up for SCW and fought with all I had. No excuses, no holding back – and I took bullets for my team. And I promise you, Regan, I am ready to take bullets for this team too.
Even for you if it comes down to it.
But... a shaky sigh comes from the Snow Queen.
I don't just want to 'take bullets' this time around. Not like last time. One more deep breath...
Regan, I need to BE the bullet. I want to be the bullet that goes through Bree, goes through Sienna, goes through Giovanni, goes through Ravyn, and lastly, and with SO MUCH satisfaction, I want to be the bullet that goes through Syren!
For a moment, as if in thought, a slight laugh comes from Selena's lips.
You know what? This has become so damn crazy enough, I'll add to it! After that, I want to keep going in my bullet's path and go right through Katya! You heard me right, Regan! The vicious Hellcat is teaming with a Snow Queen that wants to just cause as much damage as humanly possible in that chamber! A crazed Snow Queen, Regan! Is it everything you hoped it would be?
Selena raises her arms as if in presentation.
Because, in spite of everything between us – and despite the enormity of what I ask – there is one thing that I know as certain as my hair is white and I look like a certain Disney character. And that is, should that much damage happen in the cage – the kind that could destroy the Wonderland AND The Beauty Network AND Dark Fantasy's troupe? You and I? Kennedy and Owen? SCW itself? We're strong enough to survive it. We are strong enough to survive it. she stresses each word.
But we need to survive each other, Regan. Or we won't survive long after it. So... Selena closes her eyes to take a breath, calming her nerves.
Come to my house.
There is a moment of silence as a strange look, perhaps of relief, washes over Selena's face.
I'm inviting you to have dinner with Deanna, the children and I, Regan. To meet your godchildren – if that's even the right word...
You can choose the date and time – hell, pick the meal. You want steak? Got it. Catnip? I'll go shopping. My head on a platter? I will try and accommodate, I suppose. But that is the key word.
You and I have to 'try'. We have to try and prove everyone, even the SCW Universe in this case, wrong. Yes, I'm begging you to walk into what will be perceived as either a 'hornet's nest' or the 'Frost factory where the Frost people are made' but please consider it! Because I think, when it's all said and done, that there was a reason Sasha is risking everything she has in SCW in picking you and I as teammates.
And I... Selena pauses for a moment.
I want to try and find it. I want to try and see it. I...
Casting her eyes up, the young woman stares into the camera.
I want to try and believe it, Regan.
Her lips forming a firm line, the platinum-blonde claps her hands together, clasping them tight.
That's all I got. You've got my number and email. Still the same as before. Just...just think about it...Reaching her arm, Selena is seen for a moment more before the shot goes to black.
She decided not edit any of the footage before emailing it. Not even giving this 'royal letter' the usual opening graphic that came with it. This wasn't a promo to her, and she prayed Regan would see that. This was a plea. And she wasn't ashamed of that. That the Snow Queen was pleading to one, if not her greatest rival to visit her house and family.
Because this was about so much more than her. So much more than Regan. So much more than lies and pasts and crimes and visions...
And if Selena Frost still wanted to be 'The Face of SCW', she had to make sure that there was still an SCW to be the face of when it was all said and done...