OOC: And here begins the final chapters of “I of the Storm”. Posted in two parts due to length.
I of the Storm
“Just Follow Your Heart...”
April 29th, 2019
Mexico City, Mexico
Four Seasons Hotel – Governor Suite
The sky was dark outside, the sun having set more than a few hours ago. Selena had kept the lights dim to deal with some of the headache she still felt. Yes, it still bothered her that she was experiencing some headaches and light sensitivity thanks to the events of over two weeks ago, but it was
much less painful than it had been the day after her last match.
Taking in a deep breath, the Snow Queen tried to will herself to sink further into the soft mattress and pillow of the king-sized bed, her eyes closed to block out more of the light, though she gently placed the crook of her elbow over her eyes to assist in that, feeling the tense muscles in her skull start to relax moreso.
I'm not sure how much more of this I can take... she thought to herself, exhaling quietly, though there was some sound, as she lay there in a dark-blue nightgown, her platinum hair fanning a little over the pillow that supported her head. She could feel the coolness of the blankets, as she lay on top of them, against her bare feet and legs. Normally, the Snow Queen had wanted to stay aboard her double-decker “Believe It” bus when travelling like this, but the reality was that, after travelling on that vehicle for weeks – unable to see much of Elsianna, David or Amiliah due to all the issues and work she had to deal with – both Selena and her companion had deserved a break from the luxurious, yet still a vehicle, bus.
She hated that she hadn't seen much of her children in so long. The days following the pay-per-view had been a blur to her, with Elsianna being returned to their Manhattan home, the eldest child still recovering from the vicious attack of the Aaron Stanton boy burning her arms, but the original plan had been for Elsianna to travel with Deanna and Selena for the weekend of Tabula Rasa for “Special plans” Selena had for Deanna and then the whole family would go back to Manhattan to spend a few days during the break as a family before Selena travelled elsewhere to handle some things. Those were the plans.
Plans that had been ruined thanks to Giovanni Aries...
Selena had expected some kind of vicious attack from the Mad Hatter in their match a few weeks ago – he had all but promised it to her. Hell, she had expected some form of shenanigans. It was expected of a man as 'off the rails' as Giovanni Aries. But the she had not expected so much damage. First, Giovanni had not hesitated to nail Selena in the back of the head with the United States title belt with the official was unconscious. Then, he had not hesitated to disqualify himself by slamming said belt for the second time into Selena's head while she had been leaping out of the ring onto him, thus causing her head to slam down into the mat on landing – making it three hard hits to her skull. Had it not been for Regan running down to the ring, Selena wasn't sure how much more damage would have been done. However, what HAD been done was more than enough for the Snow Queen. For as soon as the adrenaline of the match and her anger fuelling that adrenaline had worn off, while she was backstage, trying to get her 'plans' for Deanna started, the damage had decided to rear its ugly head. The next thing Selena had known, she was throwing up in the bathroom, everything was dizzy and she felt sick.
It didn't take long for her to realize she had suffered a concussion, maybe more than one given Gio's attacks. Closing her eyes as she lay in bed, Selena tried to will the memories to be different. She had tried to explain to Deanna why they couldn't just 'see the doctor' on site at the arena. Why they needed to get to the docks of Seattle... but she had been too disoriented, too busy throwing up to really say much. The rest of that night had been a blur as Deanna had fetched the doctor, gotten Selena checked and then whisked her back to their bus for recovery, without the slightest clue what she was missing because of Selena. And in the last few weeks, Selena hadn't told her – even when she had chosen to stay with Selena and entrust Gerda with their children.
The Snow Queen was too ashamed that she had failed her wife again. First, she had failed to provide an adequate birthday surprise due to her having to defend the United States title the next day against Tommy Valentine, and then, she had failed to make it up to Deanna later because she had been too beaten up by Giovanni Aries. And now, here they were in Mexico City, at the Four Seasons Hotel, and she was still too scared to do anything to make it up to Deanna – the platinum-blonde knowing her wife would rather her focus on recovery and her upcoming title defence against Alexis Quinne.
Exhaling again through her nose in a sort of nasal-sigh, Selena almost flinched when the lights suddenly went out, covering the bedroom of the suite in darkness. The blinds on the window kept out the street lights of Mexico City. Selena did not move as she heard the softest of movements against the carpeted floor and then felt the movement of the mattress beneath her as someone took their place on the bed, curling up beside her. Instead, once she felt the soft form against her, she lifted her arm to wrap it around her companion.
“Gerda said that the children are fine. She had no problem applying Elsa's ointment.” whispered Deanna, cozying up to her wife with a warm snuggle. “You okay?”
“Yeah.” Selena sighed without opening her eyes. “Just tired.”
She felt her wife nod against her chest, or was it more of a nuzzle? It didn't matter to Selena. Either way, it felt wonderful.
“I was thinking.” whispered Deanna, as she lay beside her wife. “That since we're here for a few days before Breakdown – and if you have some free time between training and publicity for SCW, we could walk around the city. I can't remember ever really coming here before...to Mexico, I mean.”
Selena nodded her head. She had been here a few times, all through the SCW events, but she was certainly no expert on the territory or the sights. Still, she wasn't going to ignore her caretaker anything. “Whatever you want.” She whispered. “It's the least I can do.” she added without thinking, her voice in a whisper, the older Frost certain that Deanna hadn't heard that last part.
“'Least you can do'?” The redhead asked, propping herself up on her elbows to stare at her wife in the dark. “Selena, what are you talking about?”
“Nothing.” she answered, perhaps a bit too quickly for the the redhead's tastes.
“Nothing?” Deanna repeated, not believing a word. “You've been upset since we left Manhattan, before that actually, but I think you were still sick from the concussion.” she reasoned.
“It was a rough few weeks.” Selena admitted with a shrug of her shoulders. “You know that...”
A sigh came from the redhead and before Selena could say anything, her wife had propped herself into a seated position, reaching over to turn on the nearest lamp that rested on the nightstand by the bed. The Winter Diamond gave a slight hiss of pain as a brighter, amber light once more filled the room. It was all she would allow out of her mouth as she pushed herself off the bed, marching over to the counter top in the bathroom nearby to down two Advil-ibuprofen for the headache she felt coming on.
“What did you-” Deanna started but stopped as soon as she realized her wife was not in the same room at the moment. “Selena?” she called out.
“Just a second.” Selena replied. “Just taking some pills for this headache.”
“Advil?” Deanna checked, a hint of worry in her voice.
“Only Advil, I promise.” assured the platinum-blonde as she emerged from the bathroom, rubbing her temples with her fingertips as she returned to her wife's side, sitting on the bed beside her.
“There's something I've been meaning to ask you...” Deanna started as her wife rejoined her on the bed. “Actually something I've been wondering since the pay-per-view...” her voice trailed off, as if wondering if this was the best time to ask.
“Why didn't you ask me sooner then?” Selena asked.
“Well, first you were sick, then you were dealing with the whole 'title thing' because Sasha wanted to repair – I wasn't even going to say anything now because of your match on Wednesday, but you've been miserable since then – more so since we visited Regan.”
That part was true. The Hellcat had been visited by the Snow Queen in her home in Laurel Canyon. In truth, Selena had never seen her sister in such rough shape. All the unfairness, unfortunate events Regan was going through: the issues with Jennifer, Sienna, Chris Cannon – which Selena had had to deal with late last week –
“I was stunned.” Selena admitted. “I could believe many things from Regan – that she could many things – but I never would have imagined she would
ever doubt herself as mother and family member. But everything with...well, everyone – the Cannons, David, Jenni-”
“Kelcey...” Deanna added gently, reminding Selena of the Snow Queen's other visit a few days ago.
“Yeah...that too...” Selena sighed. “Everything just seems to be spiralling out of control for us. And...for me... I just wanted...”
Her voice trailed off as she thought about it again: the plan she had wanted to put in place for her beloved wife – to make up for her missed birthday.
It was going to be so perfect...
“What was?” came the voice that shook the snow-white haired woman's attention.
“Sorry?”
“You said, 'It was going to be so perfect'. What was?” Deanna asked with a tilt of her head as she bopped up and down on the bed, never really moving from her sitting position.
“Did I say that aloud?”
“I wouldn't have heard it if you hadn't, beloved.” Deanna replied with a smile. “Come on, minx.” she coaxed, reaching out to caress her wife's cheek with her hand. “You'll feel better if you just let it out of your system.”
The Snow Queen sighed as she ran a hand through her loose hair, her head turning into her wife's hand to kiss the palm. “No I won't. Because you'll just say 'it doesn't matter' and 'I don't care about that stuff' because you're wonderful and kind and amazing and -”
“Okay...” Deanna waved her hand in front of her wife's face to regain her attention. “All of this flattery, loving it, don't get me wrong. But you're not going to distract me with that kind of talk. Tell me first, then, if you want to keep flattering me and, maybe, get lucky, we can go from there.” she added with a wink and a smile, trying to ease the tension with some shameless flirting. And were it not for the lingering remains of a her headaches, Selena would have smiled, maybe even laughed, at her pet's antics. At best, she could only sadly sigh.
“Why do you love me?”
The question came out of nowhere – no that wasn't entirely true. The words had come from the platinum-blonde's lips. Their sudden existence was what was sudden and out of nowhere, causing the redhead to tilt her head this way and that. “Why do I love you?” she asked in confusion.
Selena merely nodded her head.
“Is this about Regan and Kelcey?” Deanna asked. “Because we are not them-”
“You aren't.” Selena sighed. “I mean...you are...”
“In what way?” the redhead asked, and the older Frost could hear the slightest trace of hurt in her wife's voice.
“No! Nothing bad!” she reached out to take her wife's hands in hers. “You're just loyal and loving and...and so much more!” She reassured. “You know what amazing mothers Kelcey and Regan are – regardless whether or not I had issues with them at work – you're like them in that...and they are hurt...”
“Right...” Deanna nodded. “But Regan is hurt because of Laura and Sienna and now Chris and Kelcey is hurt because of Chris – you're not doing anything like they are...”
“But I'm letting you down.” Selena sighed.
“How?” Deanna challenged. “You are providing for this family. You have given us a home, a family and-”
“No, Deanna, you're not getting it!” Selena pressed, squeezing her wife's hands to silence. “Maybe I'm an okay provider, but as a wife? As your partner? As your soulmate-”
Deanna's eyes widened. “You rarely use that word.” she whispered, a hand reaching up to touch her heart.
“You know I think you are.” Selena admitted shyly. “After all we've been through, how could I not?”
“Well...I feel the same way.” Deanna whispered, though Selena heard her perfectly. “But I don't understand why you're upset.”
“Because...” Selena took a deep breath. “Because I keep letting you and everyone else down.” she admitted.
“In SCW?”
“Hell with that for a minute-” Selena spat with a wave of her hand. “This is me, as a person!” she stated firmly. “I can't do anything to help Regan! They need millions and millions of dollars to help Jennifer and, even if I sold everything we own, I could never get that much for them. I would if I could-”
“Regan would never-”
“And then with Kelcey...” Selena interjected, “I saw her last week.”
“I know.” Deanna nodded. “I waited for you on the bus, remember?”
“But I could do little more than comfort her. She's going to have a baby...and her Parkinson's and now this with Chris? It can't be good for the child – and I could do nothing...”
“Selena...” Deanna tried.
“And our own daughter!” Selena laughed, turning her head and shutting her eyes. “I let that Aaron boy walk right up to her weeks ago and flash a damn lighter in her face! All because I was too scared his father was going to try and publicly ruin me!”
She had confessed the last part to Deanna weeks ago. Told her everything about how Wentworth had gained information about Selena's secrets – the skeletons in her closet that she and Deanna had had to have to keep themselves and their family alive. Told the redhead how the father Stanton had invaded Selena's A.A meeting to threaten with said information, threatening exposure if she did not back off and drop any notion of charges. Lastly, she had confessed her reluctance to make any choice until the Stanton's had shown up that day at Elsianna's school, Wentworth going after Selena with more demands and Aaron tormenting Elsianna with that damn lighter.
It had been enough to push Selena to do the right thing, but it shouldn't have taken that long!
“It shouldn't have taken that long for me to do the right thing.” Selena repeated, this time outloud. “I'm supposed to be... supposed to be...”
“What?” Deanna asked. “Perfect? A saint?”
Selena looked up to see determined emerald eyes staring back at her. “You want to know why I love you, Selena?” she asked. “It's because you're NOT perfect, okay? You're NOT a saint. You're a person that works so hard to do the right thing, no matter how many people think you're 'faking it' or 'wearing a mask' or whatever. And no matter how many times you're tempted to do the wrong thing, you never do. Yes, you make mistakes and yes you mess up – I do too...I REALLY do...” the redhead chuckled nervously as she scratched her scalp. “But I've never doubted your heart. And I never will-”
“Really?” Selena sighed before rolling a little to get off the bed. Without hesitation, she walked around the room to where her and Deanna's suitcases were placed. Coming over to hers, a black and blue, pullable number with wheels, the Snow Queen unzipped it and searched through the pocket compartment before pulling out the papers she was looking for. Just as strongly, she handed the papers to Deanna.
“Read that and tell me that my heart is in the right place. Because the reason why THAT didn't happen. The reason you didn't get the birthday celebration you DESERVE has all been because of me....”
***********************************
April 26th, 2019
Baldwin Park
Kelcey Wallace's Home
“Come on... Come on!” hissed the platinum-blonde under her breath as she wiggled the only two fingers she could free up – that being her ring-finger and her middle-finger – towards the plastic doorbell, shuffling closer and closer to it until she could feel the smooth plastic against her two fingers, a harsh contrast to the cold frost coming from the containers she held – one in each arm – as well as the dufflebag that hung from her shoulder. “Come on – now push.” she ordered herself in a quiet whisper until she felt the button give under her digits, a 'ding-dong' sound coming from inside.
“Woo!” she whisper-exclaimed in triumph. “Selena one. Doorbell zero!” she added as she waited for the occupant to come to the door. She even heard the sound of a dog barking from inside, the sound of paws rushing across the floor to where the sound originated from. Still, after about half a minute, the Snow Queen was dreading that there would be a round two between her and the doorbell. Fortunately, Selena was sparred the 'rematch' of sorts when the sound of a lock unlocking within the door and the large barrier was pulled open and less than a second later, before the Snow Queen, stood the brunette, very beautiful...and very pregnant... old friend of Selena's. By her side, Selena recognized, was a large, white sheepdog – Elvis, who panted a little before scampering away at Kelcey's instruction. The former world champion looked at Selena with an, understandably, surprised expression.
“Selena?” came the equally surprised voice of Hall of Famer Kelcey Wallace.
“Wow!” Selena grinned, admiring the view of her old friend. “I'm gone for like...a month? Either you're having twins or that kid is going to be a body-builder.”
She watched her friend roll her eyes and wrap her hands around her belly. “Poor thing has been growing quite a bit.” she stated.
“Well...you carry it perfectly.” Selena quickly added. “When I was pregnant with Elsianna... Phew, you did not want to get near me. I was ugly and cranky. My body didn't know what it was doing.”
A short laugh was shared between the two friends, followed by an awkward pause. There really was no reason to really explain Selena's presence at Kelcey's home. It was obvious. Especially with how things had turned out last Breakdown.
For Selena, she blamed herself for not saying anything sooner to Kelcey. When Sienna Swann had done that PR interview on television two weeks ago, trying to sell her continued charade of being “For the People”, the interviewer, Robin Roberts, showing some journalistic integrity, had cut right to the heart of the matter and questioned the current Interim World Champion's relationship with Chris Cannon, going so far as to directly ask her if there was anything going on between Sienna and Chris, romantically speaking – in which Sienna had denied.
In which Sienna had lied.
Now, Selena wasn't going to admit that she 'saw it coming'. She wasn't that arrogant. But, she would be lying if she said she didn't suspect that the “Iron Angel” had been hiding something when the Snow Queen had seen the interview. Selena's time spent with Sienna in Platinum years ago had made the platinum-blonde aware of certain ticks her former friend had. Especially with 'misleading truths'. And Selena, two weeks ago, had been certain Sienna was covering something up with her answer.
But here was the issue. To suspect Sienna would be to accuse Chris Cannon and, while she had nowhere near the relationship with Superman as she did with his wife, at the time, she had no wish to suspect one of her best friend's spouse.
So, she had kept her mouth shut, choosing to put her suspicions as just the musings of a overworked and overworried mind. Sadly, reality had reared its ugly head a few days ago at Breakdown, with Sienna and Chris Cannon not only confessing that they were in the midst of some sort of affair, but damn proud of it.
Which left Selena with only one course of action: Go to Kelcey.
“So...” the pregnant, but still perfect, woman gave a tilt of her head and a smile that looked almost forced – not because she disliked Selena, but because... well, Selena knew why. It added to the blood-red eyes she saw in Kelcey's face, which only prompted the young Frost to blurt out quickly.
“Yeah, so I remember when I was pregnant having the worst cravings for weird stuff. Pickles with cheese and peanut butter, avocado with salsa – but I'll tell ya... nothing really got me like.” she held up her two arms, each carrying a carton of ice cream! “Oreo Cookies and Cream Ice Cream or Caramel Butterscotch!” she exclaimed, earning a wide-eyed look from her former 'Perfect Storm' partner.
“Ummm...okay...Is this the best time?” Kelcey tried, more confused than anything else. “Just... this is so unexpected...”
“I know!” Selena grinned. “I just figured. “Hey! I'm in the neighbourhood! My girl, Kelcey, is nearby! Why don't I stop with-”
“Selena.” Kelcey's tone was suddenly very firm. “I know for a fact that all your house shows and Breakdown is on the east coast and down towards Mexico. This is far beyond out of your way and we both know it. Any further out of your way and you'd be in the Atlantic.”
Caught red-handed, Selena took a deep breath. “Okay...yeah...”
“You came here because of Chris, didn't you?” it was more of a statement than a question.
“No!” Selena tried again. “My title just had a facelift and I've got to defend it for the third time in three matches, and I'm nervous as hell because management wants me to get it fixed but that's going to just get Gio going and I could really just use some girl time with an old friend...”
It was the lamest excuse she could think of and judging by the look on Kelcey's face, the pregnant woman believed it too. “Really?” she asked.
“Something like that.” Selena shrugged meekly.
“You're not here to talk about... that?”
“Well...I can if you want to...”
“I don't.” Kelcey stated. “I left him. So... I asked for this.” she stated as she turned to walk inside, leaving the door open for Selena to follow.
“Oh, come on.” Selena tried. “You don't believe that, do you?”
As far as Selena could remember, she had never been inside this particular home of Kelcey's before. If her memory served her correctly, Kelcey had lost this house to Silas Mason while she and Selena had been rivals in SCW and had long since married and lived in a different home with Chris Cannon, the one they had housed so many Halloween parties over the years. Still, as Selena followed Kelcey into the house, she saw that the interior was modern, with dark colours and a ton of glass everywhere in its design. She could already tell from being outside that the place was a two-story, and the neighbourhood seemed nice as she had walked a few blocks from where her bus was parked.
Deanna had stayed in the bus, not wanting to intrude on Selena's time with her old friend. I need to really thank her later... Selena thought to herself as she followed Kelcey into the living room, where the brunette took a seat on a leather couch. Despite her large, pregnancy bump, she moved so much more gracefully than Selena had.
“Kelcey?” she called out as she set one of the cartons into Wallace's hands.
“Hmm?” Kelcey asked, studying the carton of dessert.
“I said, 'you can't really believe that'. That you asked for this?”
“I...I don't know.” Kelcey shrugged.
“Come on.” Selena pressed. “You said you needed some time away. You didn't say 'go find someone to hook up with!'. You know he's totally out of line!”
“I thought you weren't here to talk about that.” Kelcey warned with a stern look.
“Fine, fine.” Selena sighed, plopping down to sit beside Kelcey before quickly shooting back up to her feet. “Where are your spoons?”
“In the kitchen – that way.” Kelcey pointed the correct direction and Selena was quickly moving throughout the house, returning a few seconds later with two spoons – one of which she gave to Kelcey.
“You just want to watch something on Netflix? Deanna showed me how to stream from my phone.”
“I have Netflix.” Kelcey tilted her head.
“Oh okay. You got the flavour you wanted?” she asked, pointing her spoon to the ice-cream and earning a nod from Kelcey. She had chosen the Caramel Butterscotch.
“What did you want to watch?” Kelcey asked, reaching for the remote while the ice-cream carton rested in her lap.
“Oh I'm open to just about anything...” Selena tried.
What followed was about an hour and a half of the two watching “The Good Place”, a tv series about some rag-tag people getting into what they think is 'heaven' and the shenanigans they go through not to go to 'the other place'.
“See...” Selena said as she finished another spoonful of ice-cream. “I like the humor and Kristen Bell is cute as a button, but if this is 'heaven' and all that, with 'God' and whatever – shouldn't they already know there's been a mistake? Like if God is omnipotent... there shouldn't even be a mistake, right?”
“Middle-management issues.” Kelcey shrugged. “Story of our lives.”
“Uh-huh.” Selena shook her head. “Story of our lives...”
Placing her quarter-empty tub onto the carpet next to the couch, the Snow Queen groaned a little as she patted her stomach. “Uh...ate too much.” she said. “They're going to have to roll me down to the ring.” she turned her gaze towards Kelcey, who was still enjoying her ice-cream. “Eating for two, right?”
“At least.” Kelcey teased. “But I'm pretty sure it's just two.”
Finishing her spoonful, Kelcey reached over to pause the current episode the pair were on before turning her attention to Selena. “Alright...so what's going on?” she asked.
“Hmm?” Selena asked.
“Don't 'hmm' me.” Kelcey shook her head as she crossed her arms. “I know you're dealing with the whole 'U.S title thing' fine. You'll show up with it – as is – and defend it best you can.”
The platinum-blonde shrugged. “I guess...” though she had made that decision the second she had been told she would be defending the title once more the very next week. She was beyond excited to do it, too.
“Guess, huh?” Kelcey nodded her head before sighing in quiet defeat. “You travelled across the country for this... Alright, just say what you need to say, Selena.”
“I...” Selena's mouth opened for a moment, at a loss for the words momentarily. “I really don't have anything to say. I...just...I was worried.”
“I'm fine.” Kelcey stated. “You could have just called.”
“'Just called'?” Selena asked in disbelief. “How could I do that? Did you 'just call' when Elsianna was kidnapped? Or when I lost the SCW title? Or when Deanna disappeared to Germany?”
The pregnant woman shifted uncomfortably in her seat. No, regardless of their past, Kelcey Wallace had been there for the Snow Queen more often than anyone else in the last few years. And Selena had done all she could to be there for her. Now had to be one of those times.
“What's the plan then?” Kelcey sighed. “Which of 'the girls' wants first crack?” she teased.
“Well... right now it's a coin-toss between me and Kennedy.” Selena admitted. “We're going to arm-wrestle when we get to Mexico City to decide.”
“Who gets first shot?”
“No.” Selena shook her head. “Who does what. Loser gets to break their stuff while the other kicks his head in.”
“Selena...”
“What?” Selena shrugged. “Common practice for this kind of thing. You know the rules! He breaks your heart, we break his stuff and his face! High-school rules!”
Kelcey could only give a roll of her eyes at her friend's supposed aloofness. It was all an act and the Hall of Fame inductee knew that. The worry was still in Selena's voice – worry for her friend and worry for the baby that friend was carrying.
“Kelcey...” Selena's voice dropped, losing its playfulness. “What can I do to help?”
The question was so abrupt, yet Kelcey seemed barely affected by the change in tone.
“Nothing.” she shook her head sadly. “I won't lie and say that I saw this coming. I didn't. We had some disagreements of how he was handling himself at work – with Blake and Ikiro... but I never...I never...”
It was Selena's turn to observe a change. For, before her eyes, she saw the strong, resilient Kelcey shift. Her form began to tremble and her hands shake ever so slightly, as if she was trying to hold it all in. It was as if Kelcey was, once again, remembering the years of marriage that she had had with Chris Cannon. Years of love, family, hardships but also perseverance – now unravelling in her hands like water running through fingers. It was something Selena understood very well.
Slowly reaching out, Selena took Kelcey's hands into hers. “It's okay.” she whispered. “Please let it out.”
“No.” Kelcey shook her head. “I'm fine.”
“No, you're not.” Selena whispered gently, shifting over to sit closer to her dear friend. She could see, even more so now, the blood-shot eyes and the bags under those eyes, proof of lack of sleep. “When was the last time you slept?”
“I haven't.” Kelcey shook her head. “Not for the last few days.”
“Kelcey...”
“I'm fine, Selena!”
“No, you're not! So stop being so selfish!” demanded the platinum-blonde, earning a shocked expression from the Perfect Ten.
“How am I being selfish?!”
“You're choosing to put on this act!” Selena stated. “You're choosing to repress and pretend so nobody thinks you're 'weak' or 'vulnerable'!” twisting her head, Selena gazed around the house, seeing only Elvis curled up in a corner of the room. “Who is that for?! Who are you pretending for right now? Me? Who else is here?!”
“You don't get it....” Kelcey shook her head. “I can't afford-”
“What? To be hurt? To feel betrayed? Why not?! You think you don't have that right? Kelcey, the man was gone less than a week and hooked up with that...that...” Selena had no words to describe how sick Sienna Swann made her. Chris actions were inexcusable, yes, but Selena had at least hoped there were some levels that Sienna – even with her damn arrogance – would not cross. Any decent human being would have told Chris to go back to Kelcey and work it out! Not...not...
Okay... Kennedy can smash Chris' head... I'm gonna smash Sienna's! Selena thought bitterly, her legs flexing a little at the thought.
“You can't do this to yourself.” Selena tried, seeing Kelcey's attention focused entirely on the floor. “You know you can't.”
“Do you even know what this is like?” Kelcey asked, her voice barely a whisper. “This feeling...”
A tired smirk appeared over Selena's face. “You know I do.” she replied quietly, earning Kelcey's attention and gaze. “You know what I went through. When I was carrying Elsianna...”
She had shared this story with Kelcey – and perhaps time and her happiness with Deanna had made Kelcey forget it, but it did not take long for the smart brunette to recall. Still, Selena spoke aloud:
“I was engaged to Adrian, remember? Pregnant with his child. I thought I had the world in my hands for the first time in my life. No more 'crazy miner's daughter'. No more 'Snow Queen' like it was an insult. I was going to live happily with Adrian and our baby – maybe even leave Nome, Alaska...” she smiled sadly, shaking her head. “You know how that story turned out.”
“Selena...” Kelcey whispered, reaching up to rub her eyes with her hand. She did know this story. How Selena's step-mother had orchestrated a plan to try and have Selena have a miscarriage in order to drive the young Frost to madness. How Adrian had been playing along with Anastasia DeCarlo and his father, Malcolm Scythe, while, at the same time, been cheating on Selena with her former friend, Talia.
There was no denying that Selena Frost was as scarred as Kelcey Wallace and, it was like Kelcey could see those invisible scars lining the platinum-blonde's form. Scars so similar to her new ones.
“The only difference is...” Selena whispered. “Was that I didn't have anyone to turn to. I was alone. And I refuse to let you think that, understand?” She still held Kelcey's hands in her own. “So stop holding it in.” she ordered. “Because it's not good for the baby.”
That last part caused Kelcey's eyes to widen. “But...”
Selena shook her head. “Do you think the baby is going to care if you have scars? If you're not 'perfect' just this once?”
The question went unanswered but the Snow Queen pressed on.
“No. That baby will be grateful that his mommy put him/her first. That the person meant to protect them sacrificed their 'reputation' or 'face' or whatever for their sake! That baby will love you no matter how 'weak' you look.” Selena smiled, squeezing Kelcey's hands once more. “And so will I.”
Gently, Selena pulled the pregnant Kelcey into her arms, the brunette allowing herself to be held in such a fashion. Leaning against the couch, Selena did not move as she felt Kelcey's frame shake as sobs wracked her frame, Kelcey finally letting some of that pain out. The platinum-blonde took it all. She knew she couldn't really do much to Chris or Sienna right now. SCW wouldn't allow it. Gods, how she wish she could...
She wanted to. Wanted to make Chris pay for hurting her dear friend. Wanted to make Sienna pay for endangering the health of this woman and her unborn child. But such things were out of her hands. All she could do was wait and pray for a chance to make good on such things.
Slowly, as the minutes ticked by, Selena felt the sobs slow from Kelcey until there was just the softest sound of breathing.
“Kels?” Selena whispered, looking down at her friend.
She was stunned to see her friend had fallen asleep in this position. Oh darling... how many nights did that bastard take from you? she thought sadly as she quietly shifted on the couch to make herself more comfortable, though she refused to release Kelcey – of fear of waking her. Instead, she just turned her head and reached for the remote, her fingertips just barely grazing the plastic and rubber.
“Come on...Come on...” she whispered before giving up with a huff. “Fine... Remote one... Selena zero...”.
She didn't need T.V anyway. She had too many real issues to worry about now... Issues that weren't going to be solved as easily with ice-cream and naps...
***********************************
Selena watched her wife scan the papers the redhead held in her hands, not saying a word as she watched Deanna's expressions shift from confusion to surprise then back to confusion. Finally, after what seemed like hours, Deanna lifted her head to regard her wife as the platinum-blonde leaned against the wall of the hotel-bedroom, her arms crossed in the dimly light room.
“Okay...so you had some kind of cruise planned for us?” Deanna asked. “Why?”
“Why?” Selena asked in disbelief. “What do you mean, 'why'? For your birthday that we missed – which we missed because I was too busy with wrestling and defending the title.”
“I told you not to worry about it.” Deanna tried, lifting her arms. “Why would you put that much pressure on yourself? You tried to plan a pay-per-view match against a dangerous wrestler and then a romantic dinner with me to boot? All in one night?” the redhead shrugged in confusion. “Why didn't you just book it the next day, or the day after?”
“We were supposed to head back to Manhattan after that.” Selena stated. “And I thought – I thought I could handle it. Handle Giovanni better. Because I was better than last time he and I fought in August, right?”
There was a moment of silence between the two Frost wives, Deanna taking a moment to go over the papers in her hands again. “Selena...this is wonderful and nice and...it would have been romantic but...” she stopped herself for a minute, remembering the words her wife had said a few minutes ago. “Okay...” we started matter-of-factly, placing her hands in her lap, along with the papers. “We've been over this, Selena.” she stated. “I told you I don't need every birthday to be epic. I don't need grandiose gestures or shiny presents. I don't. I just want you and maybe our children but, at the end of the day, just you. With me. That's it. Yes, I know you predicted I was going to say that, but it's true. I don't need this sort of thing...”
“But...maybe I do...” Selena sighed, running a hand through her hair. “Do you remember when you said that to me? And you said you'd feel terrible if me planning some big hub-bub cost me the United States Title?”
Deanna nodded.
“Thing is...that night I made a promise to myself. I made a promise that I was going to put as much into my marriage and motherhood as I did with being a wrestler. Everything was going to get my absolute most – my absolute best. And yet, here I stand: SCW have no idea what I am doing with a dented and busted title, our daughter is unsure of me because I didn't go after the Stantons fast enough, and I can't even take my beloved wife out and treat her like the amazing woman she is... I can't even...”
Selena stopped herself, looking away to collect herself. “Right now, Regan and Kelcey feel like they are at fault with their troubles. That they are to blame for what is happening to them. And I...I'm feeling the same. Yes, I'm a champion at work, but...” Selena shrugged. “Why can't I do better? Why can't I give my wife what she's wanted for so long? Why can't I surprise her like I had planned without work sliding in and ruining it?”
It was that last line that made the redhead confused. “What I wanted? Selena, I don't know what you're talking about...”
“Still?” Selena laughed. “Deanna, did you really think all I had planned was a cruise ship dinner? Some dancing on a boat?” she laughed. “When have I ever been that simple? You know me! Over-dramatic Selena! 'The crazy miner's daughter', 'The Snow Queen'. Everything is full and rich and...”
Deanna was suddenly up, leaving the papers to fall onto the bed to take her wife's hands into hers as the two stood there in the room. “Selena, breathe!” she ordered.
Despite herself, Selena obeyed, taking a few deep breaths.
“Now then...” Deanna gently urged as her wife calmed herself. “One thing at a time, okay?”
“Just...” Selena sighed. “I need you to tell me why... after everything I've just told you – the many ways I've screwed up... why do you love me? I need to know.”
A huff from her nostrils was all Deanna gave at first before she shook her head. “You're so stupid.” she stated. “You want me to give you a declaration of love or something?”
“No.” Selena shook her head. “I just want to know the truth – I've kept failing at giving you what you want and...what I want... and work... and...”
“Selena - The truth?” Deanna asked, her smile never fading. “The truth is I don't look at it as you do. You see it as a scoreboard. 'How many times I mess up vs how many times I succeed'. And all you do is give yourself more and more handicaps and reasons to lose points in your own game. You said you promised to be a 'better mother and wife' like you are a wrestler? How did you do that? You brought me and Elsianna along to take care of our daughter even though you were working. You pushed forward the charges on the Stantons so now our daughter is safe at school. So there were some bumps and trips along the way, you succeeded! And as for me? If by now you don't know why I love – you can't see why I love you – then nothing I say will convince you. I'm better off asking why you love me?”
Selena's eyes widened. “How can you even ask that?”
“You just did.” Deanna countered. “And let's face it, I'm not exactly the best companion. I mean, I can't be down there with you when you wrestle, watching your back. I just get in the way like when Chris threw me into that barricade. I can't always be with you when you're troubled because I have to look after our kids, and let's face it, I failed poorly when it came to your alcoholism coming back full force.”
“Deanna...I...” Selena tried.
“Come on, Selena.” Deanna shrugged. “If I was anything like Mikalea or Chris or any of the managers in SCW, you'd have been United States Champion years ago. Hell, you'd probably be world champion again. And, on top of that, I should have pressed the charges on the Stantons as soon as we learned it was them. But I didn't... So, the real question is-”
“Don't you dare ask that!” Selena suddenly spat, grasping her wife's arms. “You are being completely unfair to yourself!”
“Am I?” Deanna asked, her face unreadable. “Because I'm just saying what you are saying.”
“I'm different!” Selena pressed. “I'm a fighter – I was born to fight and survive and protect and...”
“And I was born to survive.” Deanna threw in. “But if you're going to absolve me for my shortcomings, how can you not allow me to absolve you of yours? To look past them and see the good you've done?”
With a huff, Selena pushed herself away from Deanna to pace the room. Her mind was running with memories of visiting Regan and visiting Kelcey, both filling her mind with the same thoughts. She wanted to treasure her time with Deanna – that was what Regan and Kelcey had made her realize. Kelcey had thought she and Chris would live together for the rest of their lives and Regan had sworn she could be the hero to save her daughter.
Both had been terribly mistaken and Selena hated that life had chosen to take those dreams from two people she had come to care very much for.
“I love you – every good thing and bad thing.” she heard Deanna said. “And whenever you come up short, I will forgive you.” she stated. “Just like others have. Remember when you brought that busted title to the next Breakdown last week? They forgave you! They cheered you! So why is it so hard to believe that I won't forgive you being too hurt to give me a surprise or a romantic night? And if I missed something or you wanted to give me something, just tell me what it is! Just do it!” she laughed. “It's not worth all this drama-”
“Fine!” Selena stated aloud, spinning around to face her wife. Maybe it was her words with Regan or maybe it was her time with Kelcey. Maybe she was done doing things as 'planned' because life was going to keep throwing her curveballs and wrenches in those plans. “Deanna-” without thinking, the Snow Queen dropped to a knee, earning a wide-eyed expression from her wife. “Will you marry me again?”
There was a moment of silence before a laugh suddenly broke out from the redhead, her hand covering her mouth. “Get up off the floor, silly.” she said, taking her wife's hands and guiding her to the bed. “We've been over this, Selena. You already asked me long ago. Yes, you know I'll remarry you. We've been planning it for some time-”
She suddenly stopped as a realization hit her, her gaze locked on the quiet expression of her wife, who simply matched her gaze. “Wait...you already asked me long ago...which means you weren't just going to ask me again on that cruise, were you?”
Selena shook her head slowly. “Remember when I made those reservations for us at the Maisonette?” she asked, referring to the castle-hotel in German the two had spent their honeymoon and their recent vacation together. “That time wasn't the only date I booked.” she admitted. “Gunther also helped me book a set of dates in the midsummer.”
A slow, shaky breath escaped Deanna. “Okay...” she said. “For?”
With a tilt of her head, Selena smiled. “For the pay-per-view break in June...and you know what for.”
“T...Tell me anyway.” Deanna's heart quickened, her hand flying to her chest. “P...please...”
“But we're not on a cruise or someplace romantic-”
“I don't care!” Deanna laughed. “Just please...tell me, Selena...please...”
“I...” Selena sighed. “The dates were for our renewal of vows. I wanted to give you a Midsummer Wedding.”
There was silence within the room for a moment as Selena and Deanna sat there, the words settling.
“I wanted something romantic with my wife. Yet, here I am, in Mexico City, late at night, after all that and I can't even do that righ-OOOMMPPFF!”
She couldn't get the last word out as she was suddenly tackled by her enthusiastic wife, Deanna laughing and kissing her wife's face repeatedly.
“Yes!” she said in jubilation! “Of course, yes!”
“Deanna!” Selena tried. “Can't breathe!”
“Sorry!” Deanna quickly lifted herself up to settle her weight on her elbows on either side of her wife. “Why couldn't you just tell me this sooner? I love the idea!”
“Even if it's barely over a month away?” Selena asked.
“I don't care!” Deanna laughed. “You just told me that I'm going to remarry the most amazing woman in the world! My soulmate!” she smiled.
“Hey! You used the word!” Selena smiled, her heart feeling a little lighter despite the depressing times.
“I want to!” she said, kissing her wife's forehead affectionately. “And I want to remarry my soulmate!”
“Even though the proposal is less than-”
“You're remarrying me in a castle, Selena.” Deanna laughed. “I think your 'flair for the dramatics' is safe.” she stated, shaking her head.
“Oh good.” Selena laughed at last. “Because I was afraid of losing my presidency of the dramatics society of dramatic wives.”
“Of which I am a proud member.” Deanna added, still straddling her wife.
The two lay there in silence, Selena caressing her wife's face with her right hand. “I'm sorry I couldn't do better for your birthday and all that.” she said.
“I'm sorry I can't be a better manager and partner in your SCW career.” Deanna countered.
“You don't need to.” Selena stated.
“Neither do you.” Deanna shot back. “Just be what you can be and I will love you all the more for it.”
Leaning down, the redhead captured her wife's lips in a searing kiss. For Selena, she was still troubled by so many things: SCW, Regan, Kelcey, the U.S title, her daughter, and still trying to figure out how Wentworth Stanton had gained the knowledge to try and 'shame' her.
Yet, and perhaps it was something as simple as this: The fact that she and Deanna could be happy as wives, even just for tonight...
Somehow... that was good enough for now...
For now...
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![[Image: tetXUW1.jpg]](http://i.imgur.com/tetXUW1.jpg)