06-28-2019, 05:13 PM
07-02-2019, 07:01 PM
This whole ordeal has been one that has put me through a lot of trials and tribulations. From the actual event of trying ot take my own life, to having to look at myself literally dying from above, to facing people one on one and answer their questions, it's not been easy. Some of it has been down-right painful. I should have known that before I did what I did, too. I should have known that I'd be hurting others, but most importantly, myself. I should have realized that the risks of forgetting how to do basic tasks or the risks of basic tasks becoming difficult, like breathing and talking, would be consequences of my own actions.
Instead, I decided to pretend I wouldn't ever have to face that reality.
Ultimately one of the hardest things to do was to convince others that what had happened would be the last time it would ever occur. But from my experience with my best friend doing the same thing in his own way, I know how much I worry about him doing it again on a daily basis. I wasn't just having to convince friends and family, though, I was having to prove to physicians, nurses, psychologists, psychiatrists, and other specialists alike, that I was ready to be integrated back with society. The worst part of that is they couldn't take me at my word. They couldn't trust me when I promised them anything. Effectively I had zero trust from any of them. That lack of trust, though, was what I deserved and needed because in my head, I knew I probably wouldn't ever try and go down that dark path, but it was never definitive. Sure, I told them it was, but in my head it was always a "probably." So I had to prove and convince myself that I was ready, and not just prove it to them.
Throughout the process there were milestones. The days when I would be given freedom to remove the shackles and just move around a little, the day that I didn't have to put them back on, and the day where I could see all of my care team look at one another with a sense of hope in their eye for the first time. It felt like I had finally broken through with them, and also in my own head, I began to realize that everything I had done had been as selfish as everyone had told me it was. It meant that I was "seeing the light" and realizing that what I had effectively done was try and push all of my problems onto others and run from them, instead of just facing them head on, becoming accepting of the reality in which I lived, and not trying to just be a little bitch and hide from it.
The ultimate dream moment was the day they all walked in, and they told me they were recommending I be discharged from the hospital and admitted to a halfway house to complete my treatment. They felt it was only right to let me begin to reintegrate, but also have the professionals still assisting me the rest of the way. I had requested that it be in the Greater Des Moines area, and not somewhere where his family and friends would have to travel a great distance. They agreed as long as I put my name to paper agreeing I wouldn't flee or try and discharge myself early.
Without hesitation, I signed that piece of paper.
Being in the halfway house, I won't lie, was like a mega sense of relief. I had moments where I could finally go out on my own, do things on my own again, and know that I was going back somewhere safe. The idea to run, stop treatment, or anything of the sorts never came until one very specific day. It was a day where I found myself facing a demon that I knew had more power than any other I had ever faced. That demon was the reality of myself, and what I had done.
Up until now, I had avoided going back to my home. I had avoided it like the plague. What happened that night, from what I remember, is one of hardest things for me to still talk about. It's where I realize I am not ready to be "cleared" for reality, but I also realized doing nothing would leave me in a constant state of fear of facing my past and my truths. I just didn't know how hard it would be...
I won't lie, I wanted to run. In that moment, seeing my own house, I wanted to run as far away as I could. It was like I was looking at the facade of a home that atrocities had been committed in, and I was being forced to see the damage done. I knew it was all bullshit, but I couldn't stop that feeling. I knew my mess had been cleaned up and everything would look normal, but I didn't know how I would react to seeing any of it. The comfort I had, however was everyone around me. From friends, to family, to the doctors, I knew that if I broke, I wouldn't be able to do anything to harm myself. But it just wasn't enough to take that edge off.
We stood there for what felt like an eternity. I wasn't in any rush to take that first step toward the door. This was enough for me. Enough of a "reality check," but the problem was it was just the beginning for everyone else. I also knew I couldn't turn back because they had asked me before we started this process if I wanted to do it in phases or all at once, and my dumbass said "let's just get it all over with." So I didn't get an option of turning back. But I also knew I wasn't going to be the one who just says, "sure let's Leroy Jenkins this shit." It wasn't until I felt a hand on my shoulder and look over to see my best friend, the man who had been in my very shoes, looking me in the eye and asking if I was ready that I knew I had to do what needed to be done...
Surreal... That's all I can say at that point. Standing in my own foyer, seeing my living room, knowing that this used to be a place of solace for me, and now was a place I feared wasn't something I could comprehend. It also began to make me remember that night, or what I could remember, about fighting with my wife, feeling at a breaking point, and finally deciding to do something about it. Let me tell you... Remembering how you felt the day you tried to off yourself is scary. It's also sad at the same time. You realize that there were better ways of handling things, and you took a way out to just avoid it, and now you're in the midst of handling it anyway.
They let me roam around that area for a while. I walked back out into the living room and I sat on my couch. I felt a lot of guilt come over me knowing I had done something I truly regretted. And I tried, damn did I try, to hold it together but sitting there I just broke. The tears began to flow and I think this was something they were hoping to see. I think they wanted the emotion to come out of me because it wasn't too long after this, they decided it was time for the main event...
I never liked that door, anyway...
They asked me if I felt better. Of fucking course I did. That door did something to me that I never wanted to see again. Plus I always preferred sliding doors to ones on hinges anyway!
The door... The sheet... They deserved what they got. They had tormented me in my head for I don't know how long, but it felt like a lifetime. They wanted me to "face" my fears, I did them one better. I eliminated them. The two things that had assisted in me doing the dumbest thing in my life were going to be gone from my life upon returning home. It wasn't the bathroom. It was the door, the door held that sheet in place. It was the sheet, the sheet that compressed itself across the blood flow and air supply to my body. THOSE were my demons. They wanted me to eliminate them, I did just that.
It was a moment of catharsis. It was a moment that told me that, when I was cleared to go home, the two prominent "players" outside of my own stress and life, that contributed to what I had done wouldn't be there. Yeah, I'm not stupid. I know it was all me, ultimately, but those two items needed to disappear. They needed to be destroyed. They needed to never be seen again. And they needed to be handled by the man who used them like they were never intended.
The rest of the ride back to the halfway house, I didn't say a word. Hell, nobody did. They didn't know how to approach me or what mindset I was in, and nobody wanted to test it either. Instead everyone opted for silence. It was honestly what I wanted, too. I wanted nothing to do with anyone. I wanted to think about that fucking blanket burning in my hands. I wanted to see what almost killed me die in my hands. It may seem morbid, but even though it didn't have a soul, I felt like I had destroyed the evil soul within its cloth and wood. As far as I was concerned, I had vanquished a demon in my life and felt, almost joyous. Was this what they wanted me to feel? Was this the closure I needed? If it was, it worked. I felt relief. I felt like I had eliminated things in my life that had haunted me for a considerable period of time.
This is what freedom feels like...
Jake Starr: Taking Hold of the Flame... Breakdown... Supreme Championship Wrestling... Did you miss me? Did you miss the most arrogant and yet asinine individual on the roster? You know, I haven't missed Jason Zero either, but I did see him backstage the other day.
But seriously... How many of you expected to see me walk out of those curtains? And how many of you expected to see me walk out of those curtains preceded by a man doing his best impersonation of Icarus? I would strive to say none of you did, and quite frankly, I'm glad. Because I didn't want people to expect me back. I didn't want to be another name "returning" at Taking Hold of the Flame that people could guess. I wanted to surprise the world. I wanted to shock the world. I wanted the world to have a collective, "WHAT THE FUCK," moment. And it happened. It continued through the match as I outlasted many of the SCW elite superstars who I have never beaten in ANYTHING. Like literally, I've never beaten them in the ring, in the unsanctioned poker games we had in the back, ookie cookie, anything.
They've simply had my number until that night.
So what does that mean?
TITLE SHOT!
I'M THE BEST!
GIVE ME THE MAIN EVENT!
No it means nothing. It means I had a good night. Yeah I didn't win, but that's a match that it takes, literally, the PERFECT night to win. It wasn't my night, at Taking Hold of the Flame, but I did better than I had ever done before. I stepped up, and I showed the world that, while, yeah, I'm nowhere near that "elite" status, I'm someone to respect. I used to be an elitist. I used to be one of the best. I used to be a lot of things. But now, what am I? I'm simply another name on the roster. Yeah, I carry with me some clout and reputation, but in SCW, that doesn't guarantee you or gift you anything. You STILL have to earn it. You still have to go out there and prove you deserve ANYTHING you get. And I've been clear on what I want. I haven't demanded anything outrageous, but I've been clear on what Jake Starr WANTS. If I don't get it, I guess the power's that be would decide I hadn't done enough, but Jake Starr wants a match at Rise to Greatness.
Period.
I'm not here demanding titles. I'm not here demanding opponents or stipulations. I'm simply8 saying I want to be part of the big spectacle I haven't missed since 2009. If that's too much to ask in 2019 SCW, then it's just sad, but I'll take it and deal with it. Regardless, I'm operating on the assumption that this isn't too much to ask. Like I said, I'm not asking for something involving a title. I'm not asking for future title shots. Shit, I'm not asking for a specific opponent, but if recent years serve me right, I'd like an easy win!
Kidding, Mr. D... Seriously... You bring back Soopaman Luva for me at Rise to Greatness, we WILL have words, and it WILL end with you being violated in some phallic manner!
Now, I know a lot of you are thinking this is a bunch of lip service. You're thinking Jake Starr is a cocky, arrogant, greedy, son of a bitch. And you'd be right... But I am also someone who has been through a lot over the past, virtually, year, that has led me to realize that TIME matters more than anything. And right now, I'd be insane and completely bonkers to argue it was "my time," in SCW. I would be sitting here virtually INSULTING a lot of people who I may not know, but I know have busted their asses to get airtime in this crowded field. So I realize even asking for a match based on WHO I am is pretty cocky. I realize some may think that I am being pretentious and "deserving" even with this.
Well deal with it... Rise to Greatness and Jake Starr simply GO TOGETHER! I'm not being a complete entitled ass and asking for the world. I'm simply asking for my moment to be included. If you can't understand why the FIRST MAN in the HISTORY of SCW to go 5-0 at Rise to Greatness deserves to be included, you're living under a fucking rock, and can crawl out and see daylight at anytime.
For the rest of you, HI!
The fact of the matter is I am back. I didn't come back for one match. I didn't come back for a title. I'm the first person in SCW history to win EVERY title they could. I'm still THE Supreme Champion. ButI did come back for a reason. I came back to be happy. I came back to be satisfied in what I can do, have already done, and have yet to achieve. It's no longer about fulfilling a career. I have done that. I've done more than most in SCW ever will. And the fact is I am back to prove to myself and the world that I can still be one of the HOTTEST superstars on the docket... Be one of the BIGGEST sellers at the merch stand... And be one of the most influential stars in the business TODAY. Who else can say that, and actually MEAN it? Who else has the CLOUT to back it up? Who else can walk their happy ass back in, survive until the bitter end, and legitimately say they deserve the attention they're getting?
No one...
Now with Breakdown around the corner, I have a chance to show the non-believers, those who doubt me, and those who believe I'm still the same ole same ole Jake Starr, that I'm walking out there with a different mentality. JUST like I did at Taking Hold of the Flame. I mean, think about it... Who EVER would have put Jake Starr in the final four? Ever? Not just this year, but even in my prime? Who has EVER given me that credit? And I'm OK with it. I'm to the point in my life I'm OK being doubted. Why? Because it means there's still someone left to prove wrong. It means there is still something to achieve. And when Breakdown rolls around and the old ass Mel Gibson comes out from behind the curtain, I'll bitch slap him back to the says when he was speaking Aramaic with Jesus!
... Huh?
... So Mel Gibson and his antisemitic ways aren't there for me to lambaste?
... Well fuck there goes my material...
... So who is this guy?
... Big, red, had sex with a corpse, once?
... Ok so shorter guy... Likes to do flippy shit... Likes fried sandwiches... And is a unicorn...
Alright! We're good!
This week marks a historic moment for me because I step back into the ring, one on one, with another individual in Supreme Championship Wrestling. At this point, 6 months ago, I didn't even know if I would be able to walk on my own two feet, or would possibly be six feet under. So for me, this is a special moment. Yeah, I stepped into the ring at Taking Hold of the Flame, but that wasn't the same as match that belongs to me and someone else. That is a clusterfuck. So now we have Breakdown, a night where for the first time I get my name on the card, and my chance to fight for a spot on the main card of Rise to Greatness. I'm not saying this match will propel me to a title shot or into contention, but if I can go out there and make a statement, then it will show Mr. D and the powers that be that Jake Starr STILL belongs on the Rise to Greatness card.
For a lot of people, they may not look at this Max Kane as someone who will make a difference in my position in SCW. I beg to differ. Why? Because this guy supposedly doesn't exist in the world, and once I'm done, the world will see unicorns exist! I'll be more famous than ever proving that there are mythological beings among us. Shit, I may even try and partner up with him and go on the road and sell tickets to see him. I'd be a modern PT Barnum. And SCW management wouldn't have a choice but to put me in a position of importance!
Alright, alright, alright... Max, in all honesty I don't know much about you. I can kid around about your nickname and finishing move name, but the fact is, I'm in the dark. I've been gone for such a lengthy period of time I don't know if you're super talented, a cake walk, or someone who can pull off upsets. I truly don't know anything. But what that lack of knowledge tells me is that I have to simply walk out there and have fun. I need to walk out there and do what I can to give myself the best chance of winning. It doesn't matter who YOU are, it matters how WE each perform. It matters how we look out there. It matters if the winner looks like they fought hard, and EARNED the win. So the fact that I don't know who you are, know your record, or know what you bring to the table makes me nervous, I won't lie. But at the same time, yeah, it's a bit exhilarating.
Why?
How can I be both nervous and excited?
It's simple... I get to challenge myself right off of the bat. I get to go in blindly, just like I did when I first came to SCW. It's something I've only gotten to really do once. Now I get to have that feeling again. I get to go out and feel like I have to re-establish myself not just with the locker room and management, but with fans, and most importantly, myself. I'm a lot older than I was when I first came here. So what I have to do to win is a lot more than what I had to do back then. So I'm BEGGING... I'm PLEADING... Bring your A game. Bring everything you have. Show the world how special Max Kane can be and make me, make Jake Starr bring out the best he has in return.
So as much as I may have joked earlier, know you're someone important in my career. You send me down the path I will be taking all the way to Rise to Greatness, so whatever that path is, is in your hands. You going to take me out? Or will you realize that this old asshole still has enough gas in the tank to hang with ANYONE in this industry? I won't lie... I hope it's the latter. I hope you lead me right to Rise to Greatness to a match that is going to thrill the masses. But if not, you were the better man, and I couldn't rise to the occasion, and I'll deal with whatever consequences come of it.
But if you think Jake Starr isn't going to say he's GOING to win... You don't know Jake starr!
Instead, I decided to pretend I wouldn't ever have to face that reality.
Ultimately one of the hardest things to do was to convince others that what had happened would be the last time it would ever occur. But from my experience with my best friend doing the same thing in his own way, I know how much I worry about him doing it again on a daily basis. I wasn't just having to convince friends and family, though, I was having to prove to physicians, nurses, psychologists, psychiatrists, and other specialists alike, that I was ready to be integrated back with society. The worst part of that is they couldn't take me at my word. They couldn't trust me when I promised them anything. Effectively I had zero trust from any of them. That lack of trust, though, was what I deserved and needed because in my head, I knew I probably wouldn't ever try and go down that dark path, but it was never definitive. Sure, I told them it was, but in my head it was always a "probably." So I had to prove and convince myself that I was ready, and not just prove it to them.
Throughout the process there were milestones. The days when I would be given freedom to remove the shackles and just move around a little, the day that I didn't have to put them back on, and the day where I could see all of my care team look at one another with a sense of hope in their eye for the first time. It felt like I had finally broken through with them, and also in my own head, I began to realize that everything I had done had been as selfish as everyone had told me it was. It meant that I was "seeing the light" and realizing that what I had effectively done was try and push all of my problems onto others and run from them, instead of just facing them head on, becoming accepting of the reality in which I lived, and not trying to just be a little bitch and hide from it.
The ultimate dream moment was the day they all walked in, and they told me they were recommending I be discharged from the hospital and admitted to a halfway house to complete my treatment. They felt it was only right to let me begin to reintegrate, but also have the professionals still assisting me the rest of the way. I had requested that it be in the Greater Des Moines area, and not somewhere where his family and friends would have to travel a great distance. They agreed as long as I put my name to paper agreeing I wouldn't flee or try and discharge myself early.
Without hesitation, I signed that piece of paper.
Being in the halfway house, I won't lie, was like a mega sense of relief. I had moments where I could finally go out on my own, do things on my own again, and know that I was going back somewhere safe. The idea to run, stop treatment, or anything of the sorts never came until one very specific day. It was a day where I found myself facing a demon that I knew had more power than any other I had ever faced. That demon was the reality of myself, and what I had done.
Up until now, I had avoided going back to my home. I had avoided it like the plague. What happened that night, from what I remember, is one of hardest things for me to still talk about. It's where I realize I am not ready to be "cleared" for reality, but I also realized doing nothing would leave me in a constant state of fear of facing my past and my truths. I just didn't know how hard it would be...
As part of the, now technically "outpatient" treatment of Jake Starr, after his suicide attempt, his care team has finally gotten to the point where it is time for him to return home for the first time, and see the location where everything went down. It's something Jake has been avoiding because he doesn't know what emotions will come over him, but as part of his therapy it is imperative for him to see where it went down, what went down, and come to grips with it himself.
In order to facilitate this, several sessions were had with Jake to mentally prepare him for the moment he sees his house for the first time. He was shown pictures, asked to walk through his house in his head, asked to think about the moment and the room he was in when it all went down, he was asked to visualize all of this. The goal was to show him that, while at that moment it may have had a lot of power over him, today it doesn't as it just resides in his memory. The places may be real, but the memories can slowly fall to the back of his mind. They teach him that he won't ever forget what he went through, but assure him they will teach him how to cope. They want him uncomfortable so he knows what it feels like, and how to deal with it.
Today, is that ultimate culmination of their work.
Pulling up in front of his home for the first time in months, Jake isn't alone. He's flanked by several members of his entourage who came in support of him. The primary members there are Brandon Evans, being the one who can relate to Jake's action the most, his wife Roeper Hart, and members of his care team. Mara Jade has been in isolation during most of this. Most of her father's ordeal has been kept from her, minus his hospital stay, where they left the reasoning as vague as they could. The doctors don't feel she needs to be made aware that her home is a scary place for Jake.
As the large group exits their respective cars, Jake steps onto his own lawn, and can feel his pulse begin to elevate. Brandon can feel the tension in his best friend grow, and even can see his heartbeat in his neck, as hard as it is pounding right now...
In order to facilitate this, several sessions were had with Jake to mentally prepare him for the moment he sees his house for the first time. He was shown pictures, asked to walk through his house in his head, asked to think about the moment and the room he was in when it all went down, he was asked to visualize all of this. The goal was to show him that, while at that moment it may have had a lot of power over him, today it doesn't as it just resides in his memory. The places may be real, but the memories can slowly fall to the back of his mind. They teach him that he won't ever forget what he went through, but assure him they will teach him how to cope. They want him uncomfortable so he knows what it feels like, and how to deal with it.
Today, is that ultimate culmination of their work.
Pulling up in front of his home for the first time in months, Jake isn't alone. He's flanked by several members of his entourage who came in support of him. The primary members there are Brandon Evans, being the one who can relate to Jake's action the most, his wife Roeper Hart, and members of his care team. Mara Jade has been in isolation during most of this. Most of her father's ordeal has been kept from her, minus his hospital stay, where they left the reasoning as vague as they could. The doctors don't feel she needs to be made aware that her home is a scary place for Jake.
As the large group exits their respective cars, Jake steps onto his own lawn, and can feel his pulse begin to elevate. Brandon can feel the tension in his best friend grow, and even can see his heartbeat in his neck, as hard as it is pounding right now...
I won't lie, I wanted to run. In that moment, seeing my own house, I wanted to run as far away as I could. It was like I was looking at the facade of a home that atrocities had been committed in, and I was being forced to see the damage done. I knew it was all bullshit, but I couldn't stop that feeling. I knew my mess had been cleaned up and everything would look normal, but I didn't know how I would react to seeing any of it. The comfort I had, however was everyone around me. From friends, to family, to the doctors, I knew that if I broke, I wouldn't be able to do anything to harm myself. But it just wasn't enough to take that edge off.
We stood there for what felt like an eternity. I wasn't in any rush to take that first step toward the door. This was enough for me. Enough of a "reality check," but the problem was it was just the beginning for everyone else. I also knew I couldn't turn back because they had asked me before we started this process if I wanted to do it in phases or all at once, and my dumbass said "let's just get it all over with." So I didn't get an option of turning back. But I also knew I wasn't going to be the one who just says, "sure let's Leroy Jenkins this shit." It wasn't until I felt a hand on my shoulder and look over to see my best friend, the man who had been in my very shoes, looking me in the eye and asking if I was ready that I knew I had to do what needed to be done...
As Brandon touches Jake's shoulder, Jake nods, and takes his first steps up the slight hill leading to his front doorstep. Surprisingly, Jake's pace was that of someone who seemed determined in the eyes of others. For Jake, he just wanted to get to that next "step" and assess how he felt.
In reaching the front door, Jake can feel his heart in his throat. The anxiety hadn't risen yet, but he knew once he crossed that threshold into his home, and even glanced down the hallway toward the bathroom, it would be at a level he had never faced before. He feels a squeeze on the opposite hand from Brandon and looks over to see Roeper standing there. Roeper knows that she and Jake have a lot to discuss, and knows Jake's heart is in several different places, but ultimately knows right now she simply needs to be there for him. In seeing this show of solidarity, Brandon reaches out and opens the door to Jake's home, and shifts his hand to the small of Jake's back to effectively "encourage" him to come inside.
As Jake crosses the threshold into his own home, he immediately feels his whole body shake. A sense of evil in the air that he knows he created looms above him. Many of the crew there for support quickly block Jake's view of the hallway, allowing him to simply take in the moment that he is in his own home.
In reaching the front door, Jake can feel his heart in his throat. The anxiety hadn't risen yet, but he knew once he crossed that threshold into his home, and even glanced down the hallway toward the bathroom, it would be at a level he had never faced before. He feels a squeeze on the opposite hand from Brandon and looks over to see Roeper standing there. Roeper knows that she and Jake have a lot to discuss, and knows Jake's heart is in several different places, but ultimately knows right now she simply needs to be there for him. In seeing this show of solidarity, Brandon reaches out and opens the door to Jake's home, and shifts his hand to the small of Jake's back to effectively "encourage" him to come inside.
As Jake crosses the threshold into his own home, he immediately feels his whole body shake. A sense of evil in the air that he knows he created looms above him. Many of the crew there for support quickly block Jake's view of the hallway, allowing him to simply take in the moment that he is in his own home.
Surreal... That's all I can say at that point. Standing in my own foyer, seeing my living room, knowing that this used to be a place of solace for me, and now was a place I feared wasn't something I could comprehend. It also began to make me remember that night, or what I could remember, about fighting with my wife, feeling at a breaking point, and finally deciding to do something about it. Let me tell you... Remembering how you felt the day you tried to off yourself is scary. It's also sad at the same time. You realize that there were better ways of handling things, and you took a way out to just avoid it, and now you're in the midst of handling it anyway.
They let me roam around that area for a while. I walked back out into the living room and I sat on my couch. I felt a lot of guilt come over me knowing I had done something I truly regretted. And I tried, damn did I try, to hold it together but sitting there I just broke. The tears began to flow and I think this was something they were hoping to see. I think they wanted the emotion to come out of me because it wasn't too long after this, they decided it was time for the main event...
The doctors let Jake know that it's time he truly face his ultimate fear. They see him vulnerable, and they know that if he has too much time to "toughen up" he won't have the same experience. Jake's head is slumped and he shakes them off, but the encouragement and numbers factor makes him realize they'll carry him if need be. Shawn and Brandon both walk up and put their arms under his armpits to lift him up. Jake doesn't fight back, and helps lift himself up as well. They begin to guide him back toward the front door, but make the turn down the infamous hallway.
As they made their way down, Jake sees his office and sees it just how he left it, decorated with his accomplishments and his computer monitor still glowing on ths lock screen. Passing it, however, gives Jake the realization of what's ahead. The bathroom in which both he and Brandon had tried to take their own lives in. Brandon removes his arm from Jake, and hugs him. Brandon assures Jake he's been there and this is like crossing a major evil out of your life. Shawn removes his arm, and assure Jake that he loves him, and he can do this.
The psychologist in charge looks at Jake and asks if he's ready. Jake shrugs, knowing it doesn't matter, and the psychologist opens Jake's personal portal to hell. Unlike what Jake expected, a wave of anger begins to overcome him. He walks in with a sense of gusto and slams the door shut and locks it behind him, immediately making everyone uncomfortable and scared outside. Jake, from the inside says, he would recommend moving out of the way of the door if he were them. Everyone on the other side looks at one another confused but obliges, and without warning, through the wooden door comes Jake's fist. Everyone is completely shocked and jumps as Jake then rears back and kicks the door near the hinges several times, before it finally breaks away from the frame, leaving shrapnel and confusion abound.
As they made their way down, Jake sees his office and sees it just how he left it, decorated with his accomplishments and his computer monitor still glowing on ths lock screen. Passing it, however, gives Jake the realization of what's ahead. The bathroom in which both he and Brandon had tried to take their own lives in. Brandon removes his arm from Jake, and hugs him. Brandon assures Jake he's been there and this is like crossing a major evil out of your life. Shawn removes his arm, and assure Jake that he loves him, and he can do this.
The psychologist in charge looks at Jake and asks if he's ready. Jake shrugs, knowing it doesn't matter, and the psychologist opens Jake's personal portal to hell. Unlike what Jake expected, a wave of anger begins to overcome him. He walks in with a sense of gusto and slams the door shut and locks it behind him, immediately making everyone uncomfortable and scared outside. Jake, from the inside says, he would recommend moving out of the way of the door if he were them. Everyone on the other side looks at one another confused but obliges, and without warning, through the wooden door comes Jake's fist. Everyone is completely shocked and jumps as Jake then rears back and kicks the door near the hinges several times, before it finally breaks away from the frame, leaving shrapnel and confusion abound.
I never liked that door, anyway...
With the door literally hanging by one hinge at the top, and dangling the rest of the way, Jake walks out. In walking out, he takes a deep breath, and makes eye contact with everyone around him.
They asked me if I felt better. Of fucking course I did. That door did something to me that I never wanted to see again. Plus I always preferred sliding doors to ones on hinges anyway!
Jake's emotional outburst didn't end there. As he began to turn and walk toward the front door, deciding he had enough of this test, out of the corner of his eye he sees something in the laundry room. His head slowly turns and he sees the sheet he used wadded up in the corner. That rage kicks in again and he pushes members of the clinical staff out of the way and storms into the laundry room and picks it up and begins staring at it. Roeper immediately realizes what sheet it is, and begins to plead with Jake, worrying about what he may do.
Jake immediately carries the sheet out of the laundry room with multiple people trying to grab it from him, and him looking at them each with a look of rage that quickly made them all let go. He continued storming out of the house to the backyard by their pool where he grabbed the lighter to their firepit and set the sheet on fire, holding it and watching it slowly burn more and more. As it got to where it was beginning to burn his skin he threw it into the pool, and watched the smoldering remains slowly extinguish themselves. After the last remnants had stopped flaming, Jake turned toward his home and stormed in, straight for the front door, and demanded everyone follow him, and take him back to the halfway house he was staying in. He jumped in the backseat of one of the vehicles, slammed the door shut, and stared out the window.
Jake immediately carries the sheet out of the laundry room with multiple people trying to grab it from him, and him looking at them each with a look of rage that quickly made them all let go. He continued storming out of the house to the backyard by their pool where he grabbed the lighter to their firepit and set the sheet on fire, holding it and watching it slowly burn more and more. As it got to where it was beginning to burn his skin he threw it into the pool, and watched the smoldering remains slowly extinguish themselves. After the last remnants had stopped flaming, Jake turned toward his home and stormed in, straight for the front door, and demanded everyone follow him, and take him back to the halfway house he was staying in. He jumped in the backseat of one of the vehicles, slammed the door shut, and stared out the window.
The door... The sheet... They deserved what they got. They had tormented me in my head for I don't know how long, but it felt like a lifetime. They wanted me to "face" my fears, I did them one better. I eliminated them. The two things that had assisted in me doing the dumbest thing in my life were going to be gone from my life upon returning home. It wasn't the bathroom. It was the door, the door held that sheet in place. It was the sheet, the sheet that compressed itself across the blood flow and air supply to my body. THOSE were my demons. They wanted me to eliminate them, I did just that.
It was a moment of catharsis. It was a moment that told me that, when I was cleared to go home, the two prominent "players" outside of my own stress and life, that contributed to what I had done wouldn't be there. Yeah, I'm not stupid. I know it was all me, ultimately, but those two items needed to disappear. They needed to be destroyed. They needed to never be seen again. And they needed to be handled by the man who used them like they were never intended.
The rest of the ride back to the halfway house, I didn't say a word. Hell, nobody did. They didn't know how to approach me or what mindset I was in, and nobody wanted to test it either. Instead everyone opted for silence. It was honestly what I wanted, too. I wanted nothing to do with anyone. I wanted to think about that fucking blanket burning in my hands. I wanted to see what almost killed me die in my hands. It may seem morbid, but even though it didn't have a soul, I felt like I had destroyed the evil soul within its cloth and wood. As far as I was concerned, I had vanquished a demon in my life and felt, almost joyous. Was this what they wanted me to feel? Was this the closure I needed? If it was, it worked. I felt relief. I felt like I had eliminated things in my life that had haunted me for a considerable period of time.
This is what freedom feels like...
----------------------------------------
Jake Starr: Taking Hold of the Flame... Breakdown... Supreme Championship Wrestling... Did you miss me? Did you miss the most arrogant and yet asinine individual on the roster? You know, I haven't missed Jason Zero either, but I did see him backstage the other day.
Jake smirks.
But seriously... How many of you expected to see me walk out of those curtains? And how many of you expected to see me walk out of those curtains preceded by a man doing his best impersonation of Icarus? I would strive to say none of you did, and quite frankly, I'm glad. Because I didn't want people to expect me back. I didn't want to be another name "returning" at Taking Hold of the Flame that people could guess. I wanted to surprise the world. I wanted to shock the world. I wanted the world to have a collective, "WHAT THE FUCK," moment. And it happened. It continued through the match as I outlasted many of the SCW elite superstars who I have never beaten in ANYTHING. Like literally, I've never beaten them in the ring, in the unsanctioned poker games we had in the back, ookie cookie, anything.
They've simply had my number until that night.
So what does that mean?
TITLE SHOT!
I'M THE BEST!
GIVE ME THE MAIN EVENT!
Jake chuckles.
No it means nothing. It means I had a good night. Yeah I didn't win, but that's a match that it takes, literally, the PERFECT night to win. It wasn't my night, at Taking Hold of the Flame, but I did better than I had ever done before. I stepped up, and I showed the world that, while, yeah, I'm nowhere near that "elite" status, I'm someone to respect. I used to be an elitist. I used to be one of the best. I used to be a lot of things. But now, what am I? I'm simply another name on the roster. Yeah, I carry with me some clout and reputation, but in SCW, that doesn't guarantee you or gift you anything. You STILL have to earn it. You still have to go out there and prove you deserve ANYTHING you get. And I've been clear on what I want. I haven't demanded anything outrageous, but I've been clear on what Jake Starr WANTS. If I don't get it, I guess the power's that be would decide I hadn't done enough, but Jake Starr wants a match at Rise to Greatness.
Period.
I'm not here demanding titles. I'm not here demanding opponents or stipulations. I'm simply8 saying I want to be part of the big spectacle I haven't missed since 2009. If that's too much to ask in 2019 SCW, then it's just sad, but I'll take it and deal with it. Regardless, I'm operating on the assumption that this isn't too much to ask. Like I said, I'm not asking for something involving a title. I'm not asking for future title shots. Shit, I'm not asking for a specific opponent, but if recent years serve me right, I'd like an easy win!
Jake laughs.
Kidding, Mr. D... Seriously... You bring back Soopaman Luva for me at Rise to Greatness, we WILL have words, and it WILL end with you being violated in some phallic manner!
Now, I know a lot of you are thinking this is a bunch of lip service. You're thinking Jake Starr is a cocky, arrogant, greedy, son of a bitch. And you'd be right... But I am also someone who has been through a lot over the past, virtually, year, that has led me to realize that TIME matters more than anything. And right now, I'd be insane and completely bonkers to argue it was "my time," in SCW. I would be sitting here virtually INSULTING a lot of people who I may not know, but I know have busted their asses to get airtime in this crowded field. So I realize even asking for a match based on WHO I am is pretty cocky. I realize some may think that I am being pretentious and "deserving" even with this.
Well deal with it... Rise to Greatness and Jake Starr simply GO TOGETHER! I'm not being a complete entitled ass and asking for the world. I'm simply asking for my moment to be included. If you can't understand why the FIRST MAN in the HISTORY of SCW to go 5-0 at Rise to Greatness deserves to be included, you're living under a fucking rock, and can crawl out and see daylight at anytime.
For the rest of you, HI!
Jake waves in a very silly manner.
The fact of the matter is I am back. I didn't come back for one match. I didn't come back for a title. I'm the first person in SCW history to win EVERY title they could. I'm still THE Supreme Champion. ButI did come back for a reason. I came back to be happy. I came back to be satisfied in what I can do, have already done, and have yet to achieve. It's no longer about fulfilling a career. I have done that. I've done more than most in SCW ever will. And the fact is I am back to prove to myself and the world that I can still be one of the HOTTEST superstars on the docket... Be one of the BIGGEST sellers at the merch stand... And be one of the most influential stars in the business TODAY. Who else can say that, and actually MEAN it? Who else has the CLOUT to back it up? Who else can walk their happy ass back in, survive until the bitter end, and legitimately say they deserve the attention they're getting?
No one...
Now with Breakdown around the corner, I have a chance to show the non-believers, those who doubt me, and those who believe I'm still the same ole same ole Jake Starr, that I'm walking out there with a different mentality. JUST like I did at Taking Hold of the Flame. I mean, think about it... Who EVER would have put Jake Starr in the final four? Ever? Not just this year, but even in my prime? Who has EVER given me that credit? And I'm OK with it. I'm to the point in my life I'm OK being doubted. Why? Because it means there's still someone left to prove wrong. It means there is still something to achieve. And when Breakdown rolls around and the old ass Mel Gibson comes out from behind the curtain, I'll bitch slap him back to the says when he was speaking Aramaic with Jesus!
The producer reminds Jake he's wrestling Max Kane, and not Mad Max. Jake looks confused.
... Huh?
The producer again tells him he's wrestling Max Kane, not Mad Max.
... So Mel Gibson and his antisemitic ways aren't there for me to lambaste?
The producer shakes his head.
... Well fuck there goes my material...
Jake looks behind the camera.
... So who is this guy?
The producer, again, says Max Kane.
... Big, red, had sex with a corpse, once?
The producer just shakes his head, and Jake gets frustrated. He walks out of frame and comes back in with his encyclopedia of SCW wrestlers and begins flipping through the pages. He comes to Max's bio and begins reading aloud.
... Ok so shorter guy... Likes to do flippy shit... Likes fried sandwiches... And is a unicorn...
Jake slams the book closed.
Alright! We're good!
Jake clears his throat.
This week marks a historic moment for me because I step back into the ring, one on one, with another individual in Supreme Championship Wrestling. At this point, 6 months ago, I didn't even know if I would be able to walk on my own two feet, or would possibly be six feet under. So for me, this is a special moment. Yeah, I stepped into the ring at Taking Hold of the Flame, but that wasn't the same as match that belongs to me and someone else. That is a clusterfuck. So now we have Breakdown, a night where for the first time I get my name on the card, and my chance to fight for a spot on the main card of Rise to Greatness. I'm not saying this match will propel me to a title shot or into contention, but if I can go out there and make a statement, then it will show Mr. D and the powers that be that Jake Starr STILL belongs on the Rise to Greatness card.
For a lot of people, they may not look at this Max Kane as someone who will make a difference in my position in SCW. I beg to differ. Why? Because this guy supposedly doesn't exist in the world, and once I'm done, the world will see unicorns exist! I'll be more famous than ever proving that there are mythological beings among us. Shit, I may even try and partner up with him and go on the road and sell tickets to see him. I'd be a modern PT Barnum. And SCW management wouldn't have a choice but to put me in a position of importance!
Jake chuckles.
Alright, alright, alright... Max, in all honesty I don't know much about you. I can kid around about your nickname and finishing move name, but the fact is, I'm in the dark. I've been gone for such a lengthy period of time I don't know if you're super talented, a cake walk, or someone who can pull off upsets. I truly don't know anything. But what that lack of knowledge tells me is that I have to simply walk out there and have fun. I need to walk out there and do what I can to give myself the best chance of winning. It doesn't matter who YOU are, it matters how WE each perform. It matters how we look out there. It matters if the winner looks like they fought hard, and EARNED the win. So the fact that I don't know who you are, know your record, or know what you bring to the table makes me nervous, I won't lie. But at the same time, yeah, it's a bit exhilarating.
Why?
How can I be both nervous and excited?
It's simple... I get to challenge myself right off of the bat. I get to go in blindly, just like I did when I first came to SCW. It's something I've only gotten to really do once. Now I get to have that feeling again. I get to go out and feel like I have to re-establish myself not just with the locker room and management, but with fans, and most importantly, myself. I'm a lot older than I was when I first came here. So what I have to do to win is a lot more than what I had to do back then. So I'm BEGGING... I'm PLEADING... Bring your A game. Bring everything you have. Show the world how special Max Kane can be and make me, make Jake Starr bring out the best he has in return.
So as much as I may have joked earlier, know you're someone important in my career. You send me down the path I will be taking all the way to Rise to Greatness, so whatever that path is, is in your hands. You going to take me out? Or will you realize that this old asshole still has enough gas in the tank to hang with ANYONE in this industry? I won't lie... I hope it's the latter. I hope you lead me right to Rise to Greatness to a match that is going to thrill the masses. But if not, you were the better man, and I couldn't rise to the occasion, and I'll deal with whatever consequences come of it.
But if you think Jake Starr isn't going to say he's GOING to win... You don't know Jake starr!
07-02-2019, 11:59 PM
[Summer time. San Francisco, California. The camera is shaky. The sky is dark. A bonfire is happening in the backyard of someone's house. There's a few people around the fire, drinking. Few others playing corn hole, drinking. Music is blaring. Somewhere, Max Kane is around the bonefire, dressed in just a leopard print vest and blue jeans shorts and a pair of shades of his face.]
Max: Sticks!
[Max yells towards the shaky camera.]
Max: Hey! Sticks! Hey!
[Max waves at his best friend, who's holding the camera.]
Max: Let's go inside. Yeah?
[Max grabs his bottle of beer off the ground and heads towards the camera. Sticks follows him through the backdoor and into a hallway. The hallway then leads to a dark basement.]
Max: Where's the fucking light to this place?
Sticks: It's over here.
Max: Over there?
Sticks. Yeah.
Max: Good. Turn it on.
[The basement gets some lighting. Max finds a chair and sits on it, reverse style. He takes a quick chug of his bottle, then places it down on the ground.]
Max: i don't fucking know when this thing is going to go up. I'll figure it out. It's fucking summer time. It's sunny everywhere. Warm. Don't have to worry about the cold and shit. It's always a party. Always. It's also..
[Max takes another swig of his bottle.]
Max: It's also..Rise to Greatness season. Best time to be in SCW. Everyone's running around with their fucking heads off their bodies, trying to get themselves into the big show. Everyone wants to be seen and look good and fucking make statements. Leave messages. All that shit. Half of them couldn't even send a statement if they had a fucking pen and paper. But we love it. Every year. We can't look away. Who's coming back? Who's main eventing? What are the matches? Good shit. Always a party.
[Max fake a toast to the camera.]
Max: Cheers.
[Max chugs a few more times.]
Max: Always a fucking party.
[He then rubs his face a bit.]
Max: Breakdown's heading to San Jose this week, too. That'll be fun. Don't have to take any connecting flights to get there. It right around the corner. Might as well be a home field advantage for me. Maybe. San Fran and San jose different. But, Bay Area is Bay Area right Alexis Quinne?
[A small laugh escapes his mouth.]
Max: You know, at this point, I'm not surprised by anything that happens in this business. That's one the lessons i learned waaaaay back when I was scrapping, when I was crawling, when i was jumping, when i was running and grinding and driving from place to place to make like $45 a pop and cleaning up the place after the wrestling was done an then scrambling back to work some bullshit dead end jobs and then going back to my Dad to pay that rent that left me broke as shit then back to my fucking bed so where I only got like four hours of sleep before I got back up, started my day and did it all over again. One of the lessons i learned then was anything you can think of that can happened, probably will happen. Part of me thinks it's cool to see on the card that i'm going to be in the ring with Jake Starr. The whole you watch certain people when you were growing up and now you're trying to punch them in the face type deal. It's not like I never thought it was impossible, but shit like that is kinda crazy.
[Max rubs a hand through his black hair.]
Max: I'm glad you decided to get off your stupor Jake to come back and make some extra money so you can..uh...go back to your expensive lifestyle.
[Max chuckles.]
Max: I don't know why you're back, buddy. I don't know. Maybe you pissed your money away or something. Maybe retirement wasn't going well for you or you thought those Gen Z's would fucking forget who you were. I wouldn't be surprised. But you're back. Just waltzing right back here in SCW. Your video was cute, buddy. Vintage Jake Starr. The whole thing was glossy. Expensive. Nostalgic. All you legends bank on fucking nostalgia. You gotta play the hits when you come back on your multiple come back tours.
[Max takes his bottle and takes a swig.]
Max: And it's not like you're watching or keeping track on what's going on. I could say a few things about you having to get one of your producers to tell you who I was. I could call it tacky. Predictable for someone in your shoes, a legend, talking to someone like me, a guy that's trying to become one. I'm just make it to Rise to Greatness, buddy. That's where I'm at. Still scrapping, still crawling, still punching, still kicking, still jumping, still running, still breathing as hard as any of my peers. Maybe one day, buddy, I'll be in your shoes and some fucking kid is going to step up to me and I won't have enough brain cells in my head to even remember who they were.
{Max laughs.]
Max: Shit. Who am I kidding? If I'm able to walk at your age, I'll take that as a win. But I have a question for you. You may not know who I am. You might and you might just be trying to fuck with me. But let's just assume that you don't have a clue who Max Kane is, fuck it. I just want to ask you this question. Real simple question, Jake. Painless. And if you could, I would appreciate if you could dignify me with a response, buddy.
[max takes a sip of his beer as small chuckles come out of his mouth.]
Max: Are you afraid to fail?
[He presses his lips together, the silence overtaking him and Sticks. His eyes never leave the camera.]
Max: Are you, after all that you've done and all that you've accomplished, are you afraid to fail?
[Max extends his arms, "waiting" for a response.]
Max: When I was eight years old. My Mom would take to the beach and her and my Dad, they use to surf. They used to wait for the waves, see the ones they liked and then they would go after it. it was fun to watch. Eventually I kept watching them ride those waves and I kept watching them go after those waves and I keep jumping up and down rooting them on an I kept getting excited when one would come to them and I would keep screaming shouting.
[He pauses.]
Max: That eventually...I wanted in on that action, Jake. Even then i wasn't a spectator. I needed to feel what that felt like. I needed to do it to feel it. I needed to know what it felt like to ride a wave. So I convinced them to do so. First time I tried, I was gun ho, went for it, almost drown.
[He pauses again.]
Max: I almost drown. Had it not been for some lady that saw me chase after those wave that i had no fucking chance of riding. There was also this time, I was like ten years old. And there was this girl that i liked. And I was really shy around her. I didn't know how to act or how to approach her Jake. One day I was like fuck it, I got to try it. if I don't try to make my move, aint' shit going to happen. So it's lunch time and she's sitting where she normally sits in the cafeteria. So it's my time. I'm going to sit next to her and I'm going to make it clear what I think. i fucking tie over my shoe laces, the fucking pudding lands on my face, in my hair. The chocolate milk splashes all over my fucking shirt. Everyone laughed. She never gave me the light of day.
[He laughs a bit.]
Max: Last year, Jake, since you weren't around last year and you didn't bother tuning into your TV set. I was on Rise to Greatness and I had one objection. Win the Tag Team titles for the True Love Twins and for Beauty Factory. There was money to be made and i wanted to personally do it myself. I didn't need a partner. I didn't want Jack or Savali or Dante. I can do this shit. I'm Max Kane. I got it. Jake, I went for a dive and Abigail lindsay pushed the Twins in front of her and I landed on them. Lost them the Tag Team titles. Lost out on some money.
[Max points a finger up.]
Max: I was trying to get to Taking Hold of the Flame this year? I wanted to get in on that. Didn't make it either. Lost. Failed. Shit sucked. I missed out on one of the biggest parties of the year. The best opportunity to make it to the main event of Rise to Greatness. Failed. And that shit doesn't taste great, buddy.
And to make matters worse, because you try to make good on your fuck ups, I fucked up my leg and the week later with my brace, I tried to get the titles for the Twins. it sounded good in my head but I landed on them, fucked up my leg got them DQ'ed. Lost out on some money.
[Max eyes the camera.]
Max: What's the fucking point here, Jake? Whether it's some stupid shit like trying to talk to a crush or failing on the biggest show in all of of wrestling, I have failed. I have fucked up so many times. I've fucked up royalty. As a son, as a boyfriend, as a wrestler, as a man. Shit I know how to fuck up something. I also know how to fuck someone up to, Jake. I have literally ruptured my spleen. That's a fun fact for you and your shitty producers, buddy. I'v jumped off a thirty foot balcony in front of like 300 people and separated my shoulder. My ankles fucking BURN after every match, buddy. Every match.
[He rubs his hand through his hair.]
Max: But are you afraid to fail? Because for me buddy, failing comes with the territory. I'm the guy that does what no one would even think of doing. I'm the guy that that is willing to take it to places people are afraid to go. I'm the guy who's willing to use his body to fuck you up in ways people think aren't safe or necessary. I have a goal. Male Wrestle of the Year. It's not going so well. We're half way through the year and if this keeps up, I'm going to fall flat on my face with how short I come up. It doesn't feel good because I know on any night I can take it to any of those fuckers in the back. And I know too what I can do.
[Max looks off into the distance before back to the camera.]
Max: But scared money doesn't make any money. And I want to make a lot of fucking money. And I want to be in all the things. And there's a lot of people watching this Jake that can relate. We all dream of different things we want to do or what to accomplish. it turns out harder than it seemed in our dream. So what do we do? Do we give up? A lot of the people watching this don't. Neither do I.
i'm fucking indestructible.
If all these injuries and bruises and fucks ups having put me down, then what makes you think you will? You got things to protect. A legacy to protect. A name to protect. An image to protect. A persona to protect. I'm not protecting shit, buddy. And I'm sure as fuck not protecting myself if it means getting to where i want to be. That's Rise to Greatness. That's opportunities where I can make my legend. Opportunities were I can become a fucking legend. And that's te fucking fun part.
[Max laughs.]
Max: Breakdown! It's live TV. Who knows what the fuck can happen? They can't stop me from doing what i want. And I can't stop myself from not trying to go after it. You wants thrills? You should jump on a fucking roller coaster. Feel tat shit in your lions, buddy. I''m the thrill. I'm the guy that brings the party. I'm the guy your wife or whoever you're with is going to be clutching to her fucking pillow Wednesday night when you step in the ring with me because she's going to see that I'm going to use EVERYTHING.
My elbows. My fists. My knees. my legs. My feet. My head.
[Max lightly punches himself.]
Max: There's a code that i go by. Take nine. Give out ten. And who knows what i'm going to do in San Jose, on Wednesday. Who knows. And that's the fun part. Facing you. Beating you and trying to make it to Rise to Greatness. You'll have your fans. You're Jake Starr. You haven't been around in a while. Absence makes the heart fonder. People like a nostalgia act. It's fun. Buuuut...you'll notice too that those same people will be up on their feet, clapping their hands; saying the same thing..
KANE!
MAX!
KANE!
KANE!
MAX!
KANE!
[Max chants with a smirk.]
Max: And that's when the party turns into a fucking riot. Breakdown, I'm turning Sane Jose into a fucking riot and I'm going to enjoy kicking your ass Jake Starr. So you might want to pay your producers to throw some tapes around about me or maybe you need a few Q-Tips or prescription glasses to read up before Wednesday about me. Doesn't matter to me. Can't think of a better introduction than punching you in the fucking face.
Should be fun!
And I'm coming for it all.
Max: Sticks!
[Max yells towards the shaky camera.]
Max: Hey! Sticks! Hey!
[Max waves at his best friend, who's holding the camera.]
Max: Let's go inside. Yeah?
[Max grabs his bottle of beer off the ground and heads towards the camera. Sticks follows him through the backdoor and into a hallway. The hallway then leads to a dark basement.]
Max: Where's the fucking light to this place?
Sticks: It's over here.
Max: Over there?
Sticks. Yeah.
Max: Good. Turn it on.
[The basement gets some lighting. Max finds a chair and sits on it, reverse style. He takes a quick chug of his bottle, then places it down on the ground.]
Max: i don't fucking know when this thing is going to go up. I'll figure it out. It's fucking summer time. It's sunny everywhere. Warm. Don't have to worry about the cold and shit. It's always a party. Always. It's also..
[Max takes another swig of his bottle.]
Max: It's also..Rise to Greatness season. Best time to be in SCW. Everyone's running around with their fucking heads off their bodies, trying to get themselves into the big show. Everyone wants to be seen and look good and fucking make statements. Leave messages. All that shit. Half of them couldn't even send a statement if they had a fucking pen and paper. But we love it. Every year. We can't look away. Who's coming back? Who's main eventing? What are the matches? Good shit. Always a party.
[Max fake a toast to the camera.]
Max: Cheers.
[Max chugs a few more times.]
Max: Always a fucking party.
[He then rubs his face a bit.]
Max: Breakdown's heading to San Jose this week, too. That'll be fun. Don't have to take any connecting flights to get there. It right around the corner. Might as well be a home field advantage for me. Maybe. San Fran and San jose different. But, Bay Area is Bay Area right Alexis Quinne?
[A small laugh escapes his mouth.]
Max: You know, at this point, I'm not surprised by anything that happens in this business. That's one the lessons i learned waaaaay back when I was scrapping, when I was crawling, when i was jumping, when i was running and grinding and driving from place to place to make like $45 a pop and cleaning up the place after the wrestling was done an then scrambling back to work some bullshit dead end jobs and then going back to my Dad to pay that rent that left me broke as shit then back to my fucking bed so where I only got like four hours of sleep before I got back up, started my day and did it all over again. One of the lessons i learned then was anything you can think of that can happened, probably will happen. Part of me thinks it's cool to see on the card that i'm going to be in the ring with Jake Starr. The whole you watch certain people when you were growing up and now you're trying to punch them in the face type deal. It's not like I never thought it was impossible, but shit like that is kinda crazy.
[Max rubs a hand through his black hair.]
Max: I'm glad you decided to get off your stupor Jake to come back and make some extra money so you can..uh...go back to your expensive lifestyle.
[Max chuckles.]
Max: I don't know why you're back, buddy. I don't know. Maybe you pissed your money away or something. Maybe retirement wasn't going well for you or you thought those Gen Z's would fucking forget who you were. I wouldn't be surprised. But you're back. Just waltzing right back here in SCW. Your video was cute, buddy. Vintage Jake Starr. The whole thing was glossy. Expensive. Nostalgic. All you legends bank on fucking nostalgia. You gotta play the hits when you come back on your multiple come back tours.
[Max takes his bottle and takes a swig.]
Max: And it's not like you're watching or keeping track on what's going on. I could say a few things about you having to get one of your producers to tell you who I was. I could call it tacky. Predictable for someone in your shoes, a legend, talking to someone like me, a guy that's trying to become one. I'm just make it to Rise to Greatness, buddy. That's where I'm at. Still scrapping, still crawling, still punching, still kicking, still jumping, still running, still breathing as hard as any of my peers. Maybe one day, buddy, I'll be in your shoes and some fucking kid is going to step up to me and I won't have enough brain cells in my head to even remember who they were.
{Max laughs.]
Max: Shit. Who am I kidding? If I'm able to walk at your age, I'll take that as a win. But I have a question for you. You may not know who I am. You might and you might just be trying to fuck with me. But let's just assume that you don't have a clue who Max Kane is, fuck it. I just want to ask you this question. Real simple question, Jake. Painless. And if you could, I would appreciate if you could dignify me with a response, buddy.
[max takes a sip of his beer as small chuckles come out of his mouth.]
Max: Are you afraid to fail?
[He presses his lips together, the silence overtaking him and Sticks. His eyes never leave the camera.]
Max: Are you, after all that you've done and all that you've accomplished, are you afraid to fail?
[Max extends his arms, "waiting" for a response.]
Max: When I was eight years old. My Mom would take to the beach and her and my Dad, they use to surf. They used to wait for the waves, see the ones they liked and then they would go after it. it was fun to watch. Eventually I kept watching them ride those waves and I kept watching them go after those waves and I keep jumping up and down rooting them on an I kept getting excited when one would come to them and I would keep screaming shouting.
[He pauses.]
Max: That eventually...I wanted in on that action, Jake. Even then i wasn't a spectator. I needed to feel what that felt like. I needed to do it to feel it. I needed to know what it felt like to ride a wave. So I convinced them to do so. First time I tried, I was gun ho, went for it, almost drown.
[He pauses again.]
Max: I almost drown. Had it not been for some lady that saw me chase after those wave that i had no fucking chance of riding. There was also this time, I was like ten years old. And there was this girl that i liked. And I was really shy around her. I didn't know how to act or how to approach her Jake. One day I was like fuck it, I got to try it. if I don't try to make my move, aint' shit going to happen. So it's lunch time and she's sitting where she normally sits in the cafeteria. So it's my time. I'm going to sit next to her and I'm going to make it clear what I think. i fucking tie over my shoe laces, the fucking pudding lands on my face, in my hair. The chocolate milk splashes all over my fucking shirt. Everyone laughed. She never gave me the light of day.
[He laughs a bit.]
Max: Last year, Jake, since you weren't around last year and you didn't bother tuning into your TV set. I was on Rise to Greatness and I had one objection. Win the Tag Team titles for the True Love Twins and for Beauty Factory. There was money to be made and i wanted to personally do it myself. I didn't need a partner. I didn't want Jack or Savali or Dante. I can do this shit. I'm Max Kane. I got it. Jake, I went for a dive and Abigail lindsay pushed the Twins in front of her and I landed on them. Lost them the Tag Team titles. Lost out on some money.
[Max points a finger up.]
Max: I was trying to get to Taking Hold of the Flame this year? I wanted to get in on that. Didn't make it either. Lost. Failed. Shit sucked. I missed out on one of the biggest parties of the year. The best opportunity to make it to the main event of Rise to Greatness. Failed. And that shit doesn't taste great, buddy.
And to make matters worse, because you try to make good on your fuck ups, I fucked up my leg and the week later with my brace, I tried to get the titles for the Twins. it sounded good in my head but I landed on them, fucked up my leg got them DQ'ed. Lost out on some money.
[Max eyes the camera.]
Max: What's the fucking point here, Jake? Whether it's some stupid shit like trying to talk to a crush or failing on the biggest show in all of of wrestling, I have failed. I have fucked up so many times. I've fucked up royalty. As a son, as a boyfriend, as a wrestler, as a man. Shit I know how to fuck up something. I also know how to fuck someone up to, Jake. I have literally ruptured my spleen. That's a fun fact for you and your shitty producers, buddy. I'v jumped off a thirty foot balcony in front of like 300 people and separated my shoulder. My ankles fucking BURN after every match, buddy. Every match.
[He rubs his hand through his hair.]
Max: But are you afraid to fail? Because for me buddy, failing comes with the territory. I'm the guy that does what no one would even think of doing. I'm the guy that that is willing to take it to places people are afraid to go. I'm the guy who's willing to use his body to fuck you up in ways people think aren't safe or necessary. I have a goal. Male Wrestle of the Year. It's not going so well. We're half way through the year and if this keeps up, I'm going to fall flat on my face with how short I come up. It doesn't feel good because I know on any night I can take it to any of those fuckers in the back. And I know too what I can do.
[Max looks off into the distance before back to the camera.]
Max: But scared money doesn't make any money. And I want to make a lot of fucking money. And I want to be in all the things. And there's a lot of people watching this Jake that can relate. We all dream of different things we want to do or what to accomplish. it turns out harder than it seemed in our dream. So what do we do? Do we give up? A lot of the people watching this don't. Neither do I.
i'm fucking indestructible.
If all these injuries and bruises and fucks ups having put me down, then what makes you think you will? You got things to protect. A legacy to protect. A name to protect. An image to protect. A persona to protect. I'm not protecting shit, buddy. And I'm sure as fuck not protecting myself if it means getting to where i want to be. That's Rise to Greatness. That's opportunities where I can make my legend. Opportunities were I can become a fucking legend. And that's te fucking fun part.
[Max laughs.]
Max: Breakdown! It's live TV. Who knows what the fuck can happen? They can't stop me from doing what i want. And I can't stop myself from not trying to go after it. You wants thrills? You should jump on a fucking roller coaster. Feel tat shit in your lions, buddy. I''m the thrill. I'm the guy that brings the party. I'm the guy your wife or whoever you're with is going to be clutching to her fucking pillow Wednesday night when you step in the ring with me because she's going to see that I'm going to use EVERYTHING.
My elbows. My fists. My knees. my legs. My feet. My head.
[Max lightly punches himself.]
Max: There's a code that i go by. Take nine. Give out ten. And who knows what i'm going to do in San Jose, on Wednesday. Who knows. And that's the fun part. Facing you. Beating you and trying to make it to Rise to Greatness. You'll have your fans. You're Jake Starr. You haven't been around in a while. Absence makes the heart fonder. People like a nostalgia act. It's fun. Buuuut...you'll notice too that those same people will be up on their feet, clapping their hands; saying the same thing..
KANE!
MAX!
KANE!
KANE!
MAX!
KANE!
[Max chants with a smirk.]
Max: And that's when the party turns into a fucking riot. Breakdown, I'm turning Sane Jose into a fucking riot and I'm going to enjoy kicking your ass Jake Starr. So you might want to pay your producers to throw some tapes around about me or maybe you need a few Q-Tips or prescription glasses to read up before Wednesday about me. Doesn't matter to me. Can't think of a better introduction than punching you in the fucking face.
Should be fun!
And I'm coming for it all.