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+--- Thread: Too long for discord (/showthread.php?tid=1826)
Too long for discord - Braddock - 06-26-2020
Depression sucks. I rarely speak about my depression, maybe I should do so more often. I don’t have a bad case of it, at least not in my opinion. People have it way worse than me. But I do think maybe it’d help if I spoke more.
My depression started when I was diagnosed with diabetes. I blamed myself because I knew about my family history of diabetes (both sides) and yet I didn’t heed the warnings. I didn’t diet and exercise. I ate what I wanted. So I blamed myself. I was already epileptic but now diabetic too. But I set my mind to fixing myself. I dieted, I exercised, took medicine, and brought my blood sugar level down to non diabetic/normal levels. I set a goal to eventually get off the medication. I started with 4 pills and dropped to 2. That’s when I peaked.
My blood sugar had been from 80 to 90 for nearly a year. Then when I got to just two pills it steadily rose back to 115 to 130. For a diabetic that’s not bad but I had set too high standards. 80 to 90 for nearly a year spoiled me. Part of me wanted to think i was no longer diabetic, even though my mind knew better. So my blood sugar jumping up again was a crushing blow. Even the weight I had lost from my diet and exercise started coming back.
It was so frustrating. I take my medicine. I diet. I exercise. But my blood sugar kept going up and the weight kept coming back.
I felt so bad I stopped exercising. Stopped dieting. Because I felt what was the point of doing that when I was still gonna gain weight regardless. I kept taking my medicine but I haven’t checked my blood sugar in awhile either. Too depressed to. That whole “what’s the point” thought still going through my head.
Then there’s the hate going on in the world today. I’m a very opinionated person but I rarely speak out via word or meme about my views. Part of it is because I have a local government job and being vocal about my views isn’t a good idea. But also because I just don’t want to get into a fight. I have seen many mutual friends of mine on Facebook get into wars over issues.
Sometimes I see friends of mine post things I disagree with. That’s fine. I don’t reply because either I can understand their points and understand their perspective or or because I just don’t want to dignify it with a response.
But I see other friends of mine arguing with each other and it seems as if they’re looking for a fight. No understanding. No attempt to see the other perspective. No tolerance. Just “I’m right, you’re wrong, and if you’re not ok with that then screw you.” It’s not just my friends on Facebook. It’s everywhere and that’s even more depressing. I just wish people could talk, understand, and dialogue again. Y’know?
Anyway that’s all. I’m sure eventually I’ll be fine. Usually these things pass by eventually and I’m ok. But I just wanted to get this off my chest.
RE: Too long for discord - Adamsama - 06-26-2020
It's a vicious cycle, one that I have found myself trapped in, it manifested differently, but there it was. I'm luckily finally on some medication that has addressed my overall bipolar depression. I think a lot what's going on is the byproduct of this world we live in. Take care of yourself, Matt and I hope you find the next reprieve from the darkness quickly.
RE: Too long for discord - HardyGirl - 06-26-2020
I think a lot of us are having similar issues about current events. Personally I am mentally exhausted of everything every day being some super serious, deeeeep conversation. I don't think I have depression... but I think covid gave me anxiety.
Just take care of yourself, and that doesn't just mean diet, meds, etc. Self-care is a thing and if you feel overwhelmed by anything, it's perfectly fine to step back and say "I can't deal with this right now" and take a break. Whether that means a diet cheat day, or avoiding social media/the internet in general for a day or two, or asking people to not have a certain discussion with you around, or whatever it may be. There's nothing wrong with any of that, in fact I'd say it's important, because if a person is screwed mentally/emotionally, everything else falls apart.
Wish you the best.
RE: Too long for discord - Simple77 - 06-27-2020
I know that I have depression, I see a counselor who helps me through a lot of issues while I have gotten my bachelors degree in psychology. I am currently studying for my masters in Education with the intention of being an Academic Advisor sometime next year.
My point is depression truly does not discriminate, and once you have it, there is no words for how it can make you feel. A complete loss of hopelessness, that is how I can best describe it myself. I am thankful to not have a bout with depression in several months now. Thank you for having the courage to say something about your condition. There are so many who are willing to help, the essence of what we call "community". We are all here for one another, especially with what is going on in the world presently. We are so fortunate to have each other, because believe me, not everyone is that blessed.
I wish you well, and remember bud, when you need someone, all you need to is reach like you did tonight.