SCW Taking Hold of the Flame Battle Royal

[Braddock]

2 of 2 for Religious Wright
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When we last left our spiritual leader, Religious Wright was hoping to hear good news about a brand new James Evans Monster Truck that he wants to use for the church. Why would a church need a monster truck? Who knows? But he wants it and what Religious Wright wants, Religious Wright gets. We now find Religious Wright in a black and white suit with an orange power tie walking alongside Brother Douglas who is dressed in denim overalls and a plaid shirt.

“So tell me something Brother Douglas…is my precious prize ready?”

“It is, Religious Wright.” Brother Douglas says, enthusiastically nodding his head. “I ordered Porn Wars: the entire ‘Thighlicker Saga’ for you and my sister to binge watch tonight.”

“That’s not what…” he pauses “...wait, the entire saga?”

“Yup! All 69 movies!”

“Good man, Brother Douglas! You get a raise!”

“Does that mean I actually get paid now?”

“No…but I will start sending you a yearly steak. Now where is my REAL prize?”

“You mean the Mr. D Effigy that we’re going to send to Selena Frost so that she can burn it?”

“No!” He shouts angrily. “But that’s a good idea. What I want to know about is the monster truck! Where is it?”

“Oh, it’s just outside.” Brother Douglas leads Religious Wright out of the doors and into the parking lot. They watch as they see a giant monster truck that would put gravedigger to shame come rolling up. There is the effigy of someone’s head at the very top of the truck…only this giant head on top of the truck isn’t James Evans’s image…no, unfortunately Brother Douglas messed it up.

“That’s not Brother James Evans!” Religious Wright turns and slaps Brother Douglas. “That’s CHAD Evans!”

“Chad?” Brother Douglas furrows his brow in confusion. “There’s another Evans?”

“Yes you dipshit!” He sighs as he gazes at the Chad Evans Monster Truck that comes to a stop before him. “I was going to ride this to the ring at Taking Hold of the Flame! Everyone would be in such awe at Brother James’s greatness that they would willingly eliminate themselves and I would be declared the winner by forfeit! But now what will happen if I drive this Chad Evans Monster Truck to the ring at Taking Hold of the Flame?!”

“Uh…” he shrugs his shoulders “...eat cauliflower?”

Religious Wright slaps Brother Douglas. “Shut up! Where’s the camera, I need to film my promo?!”

“It’s right here.” He points to the camera. “We’ve been filmed the entire time.”

“Oh…right…” Religious Wright turns to face the camera…

[BEGIN PROMO]

“I WILL WIN!”

[/END PROMO]