Gimmick Battle Royal
Off Camera

“Masz kłopoty, dupku!”

Well, this is it.  Levi realizes that he has done something to draw the ire of one Jessica Lasiewicz.  He has been friends with the Lasiewicz family for quite awhile, doing odd jobs for them every now and then.  Most recently he has been working as the marketing guru for the reigning Undisputed GCW Tag Team Champions, Fabulous…a team made up of Jessica herself and her best friend Summer Collins.  To be honest, he isn’t quite sure what she is so pissed off about today.  He would think that she would be happy, especially considering she just won back the tag titles.  But she is definitely pissed.  He knows this because she is speaking Polish.  She only uses her native tongue when she is angry.  When she is overly happy she will speak French.  She almost never speaks French nowadays.

“I think you just called me an asshole…or was it a jackass?” Levi stands outside Jessica’s dressing room.  “I’m terrible with Polish, Jess.  Just cuss me out in English.”

“Naprawdę schrzaniłeś, Levi.” Lasiewicz emerges from the dressing room in her tri-colored white, royal blue, and black cheerleading uniform. She will sometimes wear this as wrestling gear, but only if she’s in a particularly good mood.  She is not wrestling tonight, nor is she in a good mood.

“Uh, what’s with the getup?” He asks. Jessica smacks him in the back of his head.

“Duke Basketball!” She exclaims. “I’m attending the practice!  It’s Jon Scheyer’s first year as head coach and I want to see how he measures up to Coach K.”

“Oh, well that makes sense.”

“That doesn’t get you off the hook.” She growls. “You are still in trouble.  Do you have any idea what you’ve done?”

“Look, is this because I’ve been putting some extra training time in for myself instead of hyping the soon to be released ‘Jessica Lasiewicz Docu-Series?’ Because there is a good reason for that.”

“What?” She shakes her head. “No, I don’t care how much you work out.  And I don’t care about your stupid gimmicky videos and products or whatever.  I’m angry because you had one simple job at GCW For Glory & Gold.  You were to keep EVERYONE away from ringside so that the tag title match could be decided fairly.  Instead you were distracted by Geneva Alan, allowing Karen Eldon and Olly to sneak in underneath your radar and cost Ana and Skylar the tag titles.”

“But YOU are now the champions!” He grins from ear to ear. “Well, you and Summer!” Jessica smacks him again.

“But Ana is MY COUSIN you dipshit!  Now she’s mad at me.  Probably.  Now we need to make this up to her and Skylar.”

“Of course, your royal Laisewicz-ness!” Levi playfully bows. “But boy am I glad you are just mad at me for that.  I thought you were angry about me throwing my hat in the ring for that Gimmick Battle Royal for SCW Rise To Greatness.”

Suddenly its as if the room grows cold.  Hate enters Jessica’s eyes. “Konkurujesz? W SCW? Wznieść się do wielkości?”

“Uh, well, I mean…maybe…”

“Tak lub nie?”

“Yes!” He screams like a little girl. “But it’s just a gimmick battle royal!”

“Levi…” she has seemed to calm down just a little but Levi isn’t letting his guard down “ represent Fabulous.  You represent ME and Summer, you DO understand this, correct?”

“Of course.”

“Now if you win, sure, I suppose that could indirectly look good on us.  But that does seem to put more of a spotlight on you than it does…well…ME!  Plus, there is one other little thing you didn’t consider.”


“Kim is in it.”

“What?” He starts laughing. “Oh no, no, you must be mistaken.  That psychopath isn’t entering.  I never would have entered if she was in it.  It’s her sister Marie who is entering.”


“You just ellipses…that’s bad…”

“ are an idiot!” Jessica smacks Levi yet again and then storms away.

“Where are you going?”

“I’m going to enter this battle royal!  I’m going to do it to save your ass from my sister, because I’m one of the few who can control her…and maybe win in the process?”

“But you don’t have a gimmick?!”


On Camera

Rise To Greatness.

Last year I was in a tag team gauntlet for the SCW World Team Championship alongside my sister Kimberly.  We didn’t win.  But maybe this year Kim will finally get those elusive tag titles?  I’m cheering for ya, sis!

Honestly, I wasn’t sure that I would see another Rise To Greatness.  But then the opportunity presented itself, thanks in small part to Leviticus, I now have a chance to win at Rise To Greatness.  Unfortunately this year it will be at the expense of my sister Kim.

Excuse me.  Totally Not Kim Pretending To Be Marie.

Don’t worry, Kim, I’ll keep your secret.  I won’t tell anyone you’re dressing up as our sister and that it’s not really her. But I do want to win.  So we can work together throughout this thing, and if you can stop yourself from murdering Levi then maybe the three of us can run the tables?

Seriously, don’t murder Levi.  A good dumbass stooge is hard to come by.

I suppose the question is, do I have a gimmick?  Most of the time, the answer is no.  I’m as serious as they come inside the ring.  I will break your leg if you give me half a chance.  And gimmicks?  Who needs them?  Just wrestle baby.  But I do have something I can offer this battle royal that you could call a gimmick.

Beautiful.  Gorgeous.  Cheerleader.  And yes, I’m still going to beat the hell out of each and every one of you.

So before Shaun Cruiserweight…yes, it has a nice ring to it, Kim…says anything, I just want to say to him: you’re welcome.  Because thanks to me, this gimmick battle royal and Rise To Greatness will be ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS!
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[Image: KIMWILLIAMS.png]
SWC Southern Heavyweight Champion 1x
MWA Turmoil Champion 1x
GCW World Tag Team Champion 1x
UWA World Tag Team Champion 1x
HKW Bloodlust Champion 3x
SCW World Tag Team Champion 1x
SCW Underground Champion 2x
SCW Television Champion 1x
SCW United States Champion 1x
MWE Chicago Way Champion 1x
Queen of the Death Match

“I’m sorry, but the gimmick just isn’t working.”

It wasn’t the first time Carnage had heard those words. It seems like it was all he ever heard since his retirement from professional wrestling. It was the first time heʼd heard it courtesy of a used car salesman inside a drab office, however.

“I see,” Carnage said, straightening his mask.

When the local car dealership offered him a chance, Carnage thought it was his second coming. When he joined SCW, they were nothing more than a promotion just trying to make their mark upon thrusting themselves into the wrestling business. This dealership was no different. A struggling branch in a saturated business. They just needed some people to really make them stand out.

Who better than a man in a mask?

While his mask was usually used to put the fear into the heart of his opponents, Carnage saw this as an opportunity to use it for good. The Masked Salesman. It just had that special ring to it, just like Carnage did back in the early 2000s.

The same foundation that SCW found itself on almost twenty years later was the same foundation that Carnage helped build. This masked salesman gimmick—this is what would help prop up this dealership for the next twenty years.

Or that was the dream, at least.

“It was worth a shot,” the boss said. “We really appreciate you reaching out and offering your, uh…celebrity status. It was really noble of you to try and help us out like that, plus pretty brave for you to put yourself out there, what with your deformed face and all.”

“My face isn’t deformed.”

“Huh? But…you got that mask on.”

“Oh, it’s just part of the character,” Carnage explained. “I’m actually quite normal underneath.”

“Then…why don’t you ever take it off?”

“Because that’s part of the business. The gimmick only dies when you die.”

“Oh, right. I understand,” the boss lied.

“That being said, thank you for appreciating my bravery, but I’ve taken down the likes of Acid Burn and Masquerade over the years, sir, so something like putting my face to a sales campaign may be an act of noble bravery to the average man, but it’s just another day for yours truly.”

“Again, zero idea as to what any of that means. I mean, Acid Burn? Masquerade? And—no offense, but—Carnage? You sound like a bunch of superheroes.”

“Thank you,” Carnage said while flashing a smile through the small opening of his mask.

“It wasn't a compliment,” the boss flatly responded. “Listen, can I give you some advice?”


“Ditch the ‘gimmick.’ You’ve got a way with words—”

“Masquerade said I talked too much.”

“—but when people see the mask, it’s all they can think about. It doesn’t help that you’re huge, either…but you seem like a good guy who can talk people into a building. Just…you gotta kill the gimmick, man. It’s not working.”

Carnage was almost seven feet tall and was still in decent enough shape in his age to stand up to anyone, just like he did all those years ago against people like Nitro and City Boy, or even Mono Loco.

But it was this used car salesman—with his pot belly sticking out of his cheap, tiny suit—that made Carnage feel as small as Jay Gold. Not just physically, but mentally, too. It wasn’t because what he was saying was rude. It was because what he was saying was true.

“Thank you for your advice,” Carnage said, lumbering out of his chair and straightening his suit, which, in retrospect, maybe clashed with his mask. “Good luck with your business, sir.”

With that, Carnage made his way out of the office, through the rows of used cars, and back into the real world—a real world that hadn’t been kind to him over the last twenty years. The mask was supposed to give him the life he couldn’t obtain underneath it, but it seemed that life had passed him by on both sides of the track.

But then, a phone rang.

Pulling the phone from his pocket, he didn’t recognize the number. His first thought was that his AARP application must have gone through, which would have been some great news on a day that he desperately needed it. Heart full of hope, he answered the call.

“Hello, this is Carnage.”

“Still living the gimmick, huh?”

“Who’s this?”

“Franklin Mack,” the voice answered, “VP of Talent Relations at SCW.”

Carnage’s mind raced. SCW? They hadn’t called him since the day his contract expired, not even for the sake of a nostalgia pop. Apparently, he wasn’t important enough to SCW’s history to warrant that.

But that begged the question as to why they were calling now.

“What can I do for you, Mr. Mack?”

“First off, I hope you’re well,” said Franklin, not knowing that Carnage was seconds removed from an identity crisis. “The reason I’m calling is because Rise to Greatness is coming up, as you may know.”

“You need me?!” Carnage blurted out while trying not to sound as desperate as he felt. “Video game deal? Producer tryout? Facing a new masked wrestler in a passing-of-the-torch moment?!”

“No, not exactly. It’s a battle royal-type deal.”

“Like Taking Hold of the Flame? For a title shot?!”

“Oh, God, no,” Franklin laughed. Carnage had no idea why he found that question so absurd.

“Well, what’s the reason for it?”

“Just a thing for alumni—”

“Like a reunion show?”

“No, fresh blood is welcome, too. It’s more like—”

“A best-of battle royal?”

“Not really,” Franklin sighed. “How do I put this?” 

Pins and needles. Carnage waited. This was his chance to get back in the game. He just needed an opportunity better suited to him, not some car salesman gig.

“It’s more of a gimmick thing,” Franklin finally said. “Now, I know how that sounds—”

“It sounds perfect,” Carnage interrupted.

The gimmick was working once again.
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My last entry
posting Therese's RP for her here. Robin Brooks sub

It's been a long time since we have seen this house, many years in fact. The occupants remain the same, besides the dog of course, she has been replaced. 

“Oh God, what did I do now?” 
    very nervous former wrestler from SCW and ULW/IWC Hurse, bites his fingernails as he gets off his gaming chair, after writing AFK, to his buddy Ethan. Not so eager to respond to the wailing of the mother of his child, he attempts to write one last urgent message.  “IF YOU NEVER HEAR FROM ME AGAIN, YOU KNOW WHO TO BLAME... AVENGE ME!” 
Steven, does his best Tom Hanks impression as he slides across the hall floor wearing a long white t-shirt and socks. going to a perfect stop in Robin’s door way, but, as per usual with Hure, something always goes wrong. To avoid hitting Robin’s precious pup Faith 2, Steven tries to maneuver around the tiny pup but manages to hit the door frame and falls flat on his face.  his too big shirt flips up over his head, like a fight at a hockey game.  He poses on the floor, resting his head on his bent hand, after flinging the white material off his head.  Smooth move for Steven but his didn’t impress Robin at all. 
“Here I am Diaper Flower. What can I do...” 
“Before you say another word, I told you a million times that you HAVE TO WEAR UNDERWEAR! You’re going to get arrested for indecent exposure.” 
“Oh yeah, about that.” Steven never learns, its futile trying to explain himself to his longtime partner. 
“Save it!  One day You’ll traumatize Barry for life.” 
“I’m sorry my little Catus Pear” 
Hurse rolls over and starts to get up when he figures out what Robin was calling his for. The germophobic that he is starts looking a little green in the face as a shudder shakes his body. He starts peeling his shirt off and rubs at his collection of jewels. 
“Did you remember to take Faith outside to potty like I asked you an hour a go?” 
“Umm, no!” 
Just when Hurse was about to cover his ears of the onslaught of yelling, he covers his ears and closes his eyes. When a full minute passes in complete silence, his dares peek one eye open.  To his amazement, Robin was still standing in her room by her dresser.  she was staring at his with dull glazed over blue eyes and a blank face. 
“I know that look!” 
Barry appeared in the hall beside his dad who was slowly getting to his feet. Keeping the shirt strategically covering his manhood and rubbing the poop from his body. 
Barry pinches his nostrils closed. 

“Wasn’t me was all Hurse could manage to say as he walked closer to Robin. 
“Robin? You ok?” 
No answer, not even a blink to indicate that she heard him. 
“Look at her, she can’t hear you. It’s Aunt Katie, she doing it again.” 
Confusion crosses Steven’s face as he circles around Robin. 
“You Sure she can’t hear me?” he asks his only son. 
“She surely doesn’t seem to, or at least can’t respond right now.” 
Steven a true doubting Thomas pokes Robin on the shoulder.  She doesn’t budge or react in any way. 
“Oh I LIKE this!” 
He pokes her on the nose and says, 
“Take that!” 
“Dad, I wouldn’t if I were you,” Barry warned him. 
“Remember that time you embarrassed me in from of everyone at SCW?”, he slaps her on her rear end. 
“Mom said you embarrassed yourself all the time.” 
“Ya well, we had a match and she kicked my ass,  so embarrassing losing to a woman,” he whined to his son as he kicked Robin in the shins, but not to hard, he didn’t want to leave telltale signs later, just in case. 
“Well she was the former SCW ladies champion beating Auntie Katie”, Barry was proud of his 2 moms. 
“She left me for Katie Steward to do who knows what with who knows who.  Stupid Brat Pack!”  
Now he was getting made thinking of all the things Robin wronged him and he actually pushes Robin on the chin.  
“Dad, don’t! This thing won't last.  It’s Aunt Katie’s doing.  She’s been crazy lately and wants her horse women back.  Mom’s one of them. Besides the last time this happened, remember what happened when mom came back to herself?”   

Barry nudged his dad to get his thinking and hopefully avoiding a murder later one. 
Dazed and confused, the light finally comes back into Steven’s face.   
“Oh Yeah, Robin is in a trans but can still hear and remembers what was said to her,” he starts to visible shake. 
“So blame aunt Katie.” 
“That BITCH!” 
“You rang??” 
Steven’s eyes opened wide as he spun around on his heels. The beautiful, yet crazy Katie Steward is standing just inside the bedroom. She has a very satisfying smile on her face.   
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