http://redemptionjones.blogspot.com/2018...dvice.html

This week is a bit different. If you are able to write a match, please simply sign up and I will assign a match to you with any information I have at the time, page limits, and, following deadline and judging, a winner.

Derek Adonis: “And then you leeeeeeeeeeeean back, wrapping yourself under yourself like a tortilla around a burrito. Now, with assistance from your partner kneeling directly in front of you… here, let me show you…”
 
Our scene rises up in the middle of another KABLAMaerobics class. Derek Adonis is dressed unfairly, squeezed into a hot-pink and neon-green leotard as he instructs his uncertain class of KABLAMaerobics enthusiasts. His partner, the voluptuous and scantily-clad Cookie Dreams, demonstrates the pigeon pose, tucking her arms under her head as she leans back, her chest protruding in the air and almost out of her own tights. Derek, already on his knees, waddles over to her awkwardly before he is directly in front of her. He presses his thankfully-covered groin against her’s, reaching over and holding her shoulders as he leans around. Over-exerting his own effort, he speaks with a cough…
 
Adonis: “And this…” (cough) “…is called the”… (gasp)… “…”Sexy Hand Pie, and is…” (gag)… “also page 28 of the KABLAMasutra! Now you…”
 
He attempts to breathlessly stammer out some words, but as expected, the position that he’s in is pressing down on his diaphragm, meaning no sound comes out. Still, he looks around at the class, spotting the women attempting their best pigeon poses and the men mimicking Adonis by pressing against them and reaching over. Derek holds his pose for as long as he can, before his throat is parched and he tips to the side, spilling onto the mat. Looking over, an unknown man raises his hand.
 
Man: “Mr. Adonis, sir?”
 
Derek rolls onto his side, facing the man as he gasps for air.
 
Adonis: “Yes, Ranjeet?”
 
Ranjeet: “Are we supposed to fall to the side like you?”
 
Adonis: “What? No!”
 
He looks over towards Cookie, who motions towards the man with her head, subliminally planting the idea in Derek’s head.
 
Adonis: “I mean… yes, of course. That’s all a part of KABLAMaerobics! Then, before you let your lady use you as a chair, you just…”
 
Derek struggles a bit to get his arms under him and straighten his feet.
 
Adonis: “Hold on, I got this…”
 
Finally, after minutes of attempting, Adonis is able to push himself up, ending up in a bridge position much to the amazement of anyone who would witness it.
 
Adonis: “Because of my guru-status in the world of KABLAM, my starring in KABLAMasutra: The TV Series, and my work in developing this very KABLAMaerobics program, I am able to attain physical feats that were previously deemed unattainable by me! I’m stronger, have a better core, and definitely a lot more ravenous! Cookie…”
 
He motions towards his wife (Remember when Cookie and Derek ended up married somehow? Good times…), who bounds over towards him and mounts him, while Derek actually maintains the bridge position! You can’t believe your eyes!
 
Adonis: “Thanks babe!”
 
Cookie: “You’re welcome!”
 
Adonis: “Not yet… KABLAM!”
 
Derek winks an excessively-cheesy wink, and the students in the room pick up on the innuendo, groaning.
 
Adonis: “And in KABLAMaerobics, we call this “The Sybian”.”
 
Woman: “Mr. Adonis…”
 
Derek looks over to another couple, this time with the woman looking over.
 
Adonis: “Yes, Shaniqua.”
 
Shaniqua: “It’s Cheryl.”
 
Derek nods his head… kind of… as his knees wobble.
 
Adonis: “Okay. Nice to meet you Cheryl.”
 
Cheryl: “What is this “Sybian” you mention.”
 
Derek smiles, looking up to Cookie.
 
Adonis: “Google break?”
 
Cookie: “Google break.”
 
Cookie dismounts Derek, who falls back to the floor and grabs a nearby towel, tossing it over his… um… “tent”.
 
Adonis: “Anyone interested in learning about a sybian can huddle around Cookie, who will show you on Google. I need… I need a couple minutes.”
 
The men are the first to push towards Cookie, with their women partners having to penetrate through their cocoon-like shell around her just to see. Derek struggles to his feet before walking over to the water fountain, where a man in a suit can be seen standing.
 
Man: “Busy class today?”
 
Adonis: “It is, but you know what they say: You do what you love.”
 
Man: “They also say “If you can’t do, teach”.”
 
Derek stops to think about that, wondering if he’s being insulted.
 
Adonis: “Well, the best programs are ones that the teacher can participate in, and BEL-IEVE ME. I have NO shortage of KABLAMING.”
 
Man: “Right… your wife?”
 
The man motions over to Cookie.
 
Adonis: “Yeah. Still don’t know how that happened.”
 
Man: “That makes two of us.”
 
Adonis: “No, seriously. We were celebrating my successes one night, and woke up married in the morning”
 
Man: “And she hasn’t moved to annul it? While in the prime of her life?”
 
Derek laughs.
 
Adonis: “Ours is an unconventional union.”
 
Man: “So you sleep with other people, too.”
 
Derek goes to respond, but suddenly finds himself overwhelmed with suspicion. Why is this suit asking so many questions?
 
Adonis: “You’re asking a lot of questions. Are you looking to open up your life to the wonder that is the KABLAMasutra? Are you interested in learning more about KABLAMaerobics? Do you…”
 
Rolling his eyes, the man reaches into his suit jacket, pulling out an envelope. He hands it over to Derek before shaking his head.
 
Man: “I’ve done my job, and it smells TERRIBLE in here!”
 
Without stopping to explain, the man walks out of the gym to the coincidental sounds of the women in the group responding with positive intrigue, having seen a sybian video on Cookie’s phone. Derek looks at the envelope… it was sealed. Most envelopes that he receives are tucked in the back. So Derek rips the top of the envelope open and pulls out the very-official looking letter. He mutters as he reads it, attempting to absorb the information from the letter into his head. As he goes through it, his eyes widen and widen, attracting the attention of the crowd. Cookie gets out of the human cocoon, moving towards Adonis.
 
Cookie: “Did it happen again?”
 
Without any context towards what “it” is, we can only be left to assume that Derek Adonis… er… “Kablammed” solo. But looking in Derek’s eyes, she doesn’t see the euphoria of orgasm. She sees something else… something she hadn’t seen in Derek’s eyes before. She sees…
 
Adonis: “I’m being sued for child support.”
 
The scene shifts…
 
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[REC.]
“Apparently I have a son. One of my flings from 2016, after I just joined SCW, says that I impregnated her and she gave birth to a son: Ulysses Superman Adonis. It was a cool name! I love the name, to be honest. But that wasn’t the point. The point was I’m easy to find! I’m an entrepreneur… a philanthropist, for that matter! I’m always looking at bettering people’s lives through the miracle that is KABLAM! Who could POSSIBLY want to exploit me with a child support order? And does SHE want a relationship? Does she want me to be a father figure to my child? Because, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m not ENTIRELY parenting material.
 
That being said, it’s a pretty big cliché that fathers walking alone with children are MAGNETS for hot women! This could lead to a whole new BOOM period… no, no… a KABLAM period!
 
I wonder which suit I should wear to court? My orange? Nah… that one always makes me look like a Jack-o-lantern. Why are they called “Jack-o-lanterns” anyway? Did some dude named Jack invent them? Are they supposed to look like Michael Jackson? Hoo-hoo!”
 
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
Our scene rises up inside a small courtroom. Derek Adonis sits behind one of the presiding desks, clad in his deep purple suit with yellow trim and a matching yellow tie. In the public gallery behind him are Cookie, his aforementioned wife (somehow) and Manvel, Derek’s best friend and oil marketer extraordinaire. For some reason, Scott Burnside, Bree Lancaster’s Personal Assistant, happened to be in the area and is in the courtroom as well, sitting next to Manvel. There are a few others in attendance – the Dependables, Jimmy the Psycho Chihuahua from some chihuahua-themed movies, the Hi-Bounce Ball of Doom superball in its own seat, and Judge Judy, all sitting on Adonis’ side. Whatever is happening, it’s drawing out some unusual attendees.
 
Finally, Derek sees the doors at the back of the courtroom open, and the woman with whom he shared a night walks through. He instantly recognizes her.
 
Manvel: “Is she even 18?”
 
The woman glares over at Adonis’ side of the courtroom, having heard the quip.
 
Woman: “I’m 26, asshole.”
 
Her lawyer moves between the woman and Adonis’ side, cautioning her that any outbursts like that might negatively affect her case. The lawyer – the same man who appeared in Derek’s KABLAMaerobics gym earlier in this piece – looks over to Adonis.
 
Lawyer: “No attorney of your own?”
 
Adonis: “I just want to do the right thing, okay?”
 
Lawyer: “Hmm… good.”
 
The lawyer moves over to his side of the room. The woman, however, stares icy daggers over at Adonis, who tries to pretend he doesn’t notice.
 
Arnie Braunschweiger: “Do you think she is one of THEM?”
 
Chuck Taurus: “She might be. I’ve got ol’ Missy wound up just in case.”
 
Chuck brings his foot up, giving it… um… giving HER a kiss. Finally, the bailiff enters the courtroom.
 
Bailiff: “All rise for the Honorable Judge Horace Wapner.”
 
Yes, just like some other famous men of their profession have family members named Horace following in THEIR footsteps, Horace Wapner enters the courtroom. This results in Rain Man standing up…
 
Rain Man: “JUDGE WAPNER!”
 
There, hopefully you get the reference now. Rain Man casually exits the courtroom, having fulfilled his entire purpose. The Judge takes his seat and motions for everyone else to do so.
 
Wapner: “Okay, so this is the case of Adonis vs. Rose…”
 
He looks over at the two sides, seeing the relative normalcy on the side of “Rose”, and the utter insanity of the group that gathered to support Derek Adonis. Shaking his head and stacking his notes, he remarks…
 
Wapner: “Okay… Miss Rose, how did this come about?”
 
She stands up.
 
Rose: “I was in Las Vegas to get married.”
 
Wapner: “As many are.”
 
Rose: “My fiancé and I had it all planned out. Our parents didn’t want us to get married, so we HAD to go to Vegas to do it. We looked up and down at all these wedding chapels that would do it, but most of them were booked up, and we wanted to get it done quickly, so the wait times at any of them were unacceptable. Finally, we found the Chapel of Eternal KABLAM.”
 
Wapner: “And that’s owned by you?”
 
He motions over to Adonis, who nods his head.
 
Adonis: “Yes, your majesty.”
 
Rose: “When we got in, we had everything picked out: The dress,  his suit, the music, the backdrop. It was supposed to be perfect. Then, my fiancé… ex-fiancé, I guess… totally pussied out and left me at the altar.”
 
Wapner: “And that’s when Mr. Adonis…?”
 
The judge motions to Derek again, almost inferring in his tone that Derek took advantage of this woman.
 
Rose: “…was there.”
 
Wapner: “I don’t follow.”
 
Rose: “I was left at the altar, your honor. I was heartbroken, and decided to get revenge. This man was there. He had a honeymoon suite on site to rent by the hour. So yeah… right place, right time. Lucky him.”
 
Derek sits back grinning, as Manvel pats him on the back to congratulate him.
 
Wapner: “And now you’re seeking damages and support?”
 
Rose: “Yes, your honor.”
 
Wapner: “Okay. Mr. Adonis, your response?”
 
Derek stands up, straightening his tie and moving forward.
 
Adonis: “Your majesty, I didn’t even know she had a child until a few days ago when Pee Wee Herman delivered me the notice to appear.”
 
Wapner: “Pee Wee?”
 
The woman’s lawyer rises, holding his hand up.
 
Lawyer: “He’s referring to me, your honor.”
 
Wapner: “Ehh… I can see it. Carry on.”
 
Adonis: “So I wasn’t even given a chance to be in my son’s life before now. All I got out of the deal was a night of amazing KAB… er… amazing coitus. And I am a sentimental man… of course I would want to raise my child, teach him all my tricks and someday leave my chapel to him when I finally move to a nude beach in Europe.”
 
Rose: “Gross.”
 
Adonis: “So really, I’M the one who was damaged by being denied this. I’m a sentimental guy… a fucking teddy bear.”
 
Wapner: “We don’t need to know about your sex life, sir.”
 
Adonis: “I just want a chance to be there for my son, ok? I rest my case.”
 
The Judge looks over at Derek, who sits back on his chair, his arm crossed and nodding his head. The woman shakes her head as her lawyer leans over to her.
 
Lawyer: “Chastity, you told me that he knew.”
 
Rose: “I thought he did. Can’t you hook him up to a lie detector or something?”
 
Lawyer: “We could, but that evidence would be inadmissible in a courtroom. I think what we need to do is book a paternity test to make sure he’s even the right guy…”
 
Rose: “Of course he’s the right guy! I hadn’t even slept with my fiancé before going to Vegas… we were saving ourselves for marriage.”
 
Manvel: “Ironic…”
 
Chastity Rose… what a great name… looks over to Manvel.
 
Rose: “How about you SHUT YOUR FACE!”
 
Her lawyer perks up to calm her down.
 
Lawyer: “Leave him, ok? Forget him. He’s just going to get oil on you.”
 
Adonis: “KABLAM!”
 
All eyes in the courtroom turn to Adonis, who realizes his faux-pas and humbly lowers his head.
 
Adonis: “I mean… Kablam, your majesty.”
 
He lowers his head in reverence. Judge Wapner, having finally heard enough, speaks up.
 
Wapner: “Okay, so here’s what’s going to happen: You’re going to get a paternity test for…”
 
He looks down at the papers…
 
Wapner: “Ulysses Superman?”
 
Rose: “It’s a family name.”
 
Wapner: “Oh…kay? You’re going to get a paternity test to prove that Mr. Adonis is, in fact, the biological father of Ulysses. At the conclusion of that, there will be a child support order put in place if appropriate, and we can talk about visitation rights. In the meantime, I recommend you two talk it out and try to work something out that would be best for that child. Court is adjourned.”
 
Judge Wapner bangs his gavel and rises, exiting the courtroom. Once everyone is out, Derek turns to his gallery.
 
Adonis: “Um… thank you everyone for coming to support me and stuff. I guess we’re going to get to the bottom of this and…”
 
Rose: “Derek…”
 
Adonis jumps, nearly having a heart attack.
 
Adonis: “JESUS CHRIST! Don’t sneak up on me like that!”
 
Rose: “Can we speak in private?”
 
Derek looks to his gallery, half of whom already left. Manvel motions that it’s okay, moving Cookie out with his arm around her waist. One by one (and two), the courtroom empties until there are two left.
 
Rose: “Did you mean what you said there?”
 
Adonis: “Yes, we did have amazing coitus.”
 
Rose: “No…”
 
She lowers her head, trying not to appear too vulnerable to this man, who as far as she’s concerned is the father of her son.
 
Rose: “Do you really want to be in your son’s life?”
 
Adonis: “Well, yeah. If he’s the fruit of my loins (KABLAM), then I want to help him develop into a fully functional man.”
 
Rose: “This goes against every fibre of my being, but…”
 
She musters up some courage and sighs, handing him a slip of paper.
 
Rose: “There’s my address and phone number. Give me a call and we’ll set up for you to see him.”
 
Adonis: “You mean that?”
 
Rose: “I want what’s best for my son, and if that’s you, then… yeah.”
 
She doesn’t say another word, turning and leaving the courtroom as Derek looks over the phone number. A cheeky grin forms on his face.
 
Adonis: “Oh, I definitely will be using THIS… KABLAM!”
 
With that, Derek moves to exit the courtroom, but not before jumping and clicking his heels together, almost losing his balance on the ending and stumbling into the seating gallery. He catches himself, though, and once he regains his equilibrium, he exits the courtroom. The scene fades.
 
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[REC.]
“Ladies and gentlemen with ladies – because of you, KABLAMaerobics is TAKING OFF in all corners of the nation! Because of YOU, the KABLAMasutra is a New York Post Bestseller! Because of YOU, KABLAMAsutra: The TV Series swept the Skinemmys, and continues to set ratings records! So from the bottom of my heart’s heart, thank you for that. But our work, my friends, is far from done. We are always HARD (KABLAM) at work developing more and more to enhance YOUR lives through the miracle that is KABLAM! What was once my personal motto and what I shouted out upon climax has become a rallying cry for people like me, with insatiable appetites and a desire to feast upon the buffet of loooooooooove!
 
But there are non-believers walking among you! These are people who do not understand the true nature of KABLAM so they do not RESPECT it. They think we are smut-peddlers, and say that like it’s a BAD thing! But it’s not! It’s a wonderful, miraculous thing! It has brought joy to so many lives. It has made people’s lives better! It has made them healthier. I have done more than increase people’s appetites. I have SAVED relationships! I have had men and women come to me to THANK me, because through MY programs, and MY brainchild, they have been able to turn their relationships from flaccid to fabulous! They have been able to communicate their NEEEEEEEEDS better and their bonds have become stronger because of that! So, world, despite what other people might think, I am actually SAVING lives! And these critics… the people who would JUDGE me for that… those who call me a “cancer” or a “smut-peddler”… they are unhappy about that. And I don’t get it!
 
KABLAM = HAPPINESS!
 
But I can endure the slings and arrows of the judgmental few, because the words and motivation of the massive army of KABLAMasutra Believers pushes me on! They help me realize that I am doing the right thing. That my actions, while judged under a harsh light, are RIGHTEOUS! What this is… is a NEW revolution! Say it with me, folks…
 
KABLAM!
 
EQUALS!
 
HAPPY!
 
I don’t know what Fatal Fortunes has in store for Man Mountain and the Golden Triangle. But what I DO know is that whatever it is, I will stand with my head held high knowing that I am saving lives, saving relationships, and becoming UNDENIABLE! And, with KABLAMaerobics, I will be ready for anything that comes (KABLAM) my way!
 
KABLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!!!”

-OOC first part is off camera...so no one but there knows this stuff went down why read it...because ...i dunno i probably wont read yours...unless you ask then i probably will. 


We open backstage Something for you is playing as Billy Fatal Fortunes (Or Breakdown) walks through the curtain victorious after another amazing Title defense at an SCW Live Event...against I dont know Ace Marshall and if his writer doesnt deny it. It must have happened....Billy smiles confidently patting his SCW Universal Championship of Space and Time. He heres a chuckle and turns his head and see's Bianca Evans looking at him laughing.

Billy: What are you laughing at.

Bianca: You.

She says with a near demonic smile. 

Billy: Whats so funny at me I did what you couldnt do and that is win a match. 

Bianca: One Loss. But look at you...Billy Breakdown the biggest joke in SCW. And you dont even see it you walk around like you are the greatest thing since slice bread...but you are a loser. You are a joke. And no one tells you because they just think its so hilarious that you are just so ignorant so full of your self with out ever accomplishing anything. 

Billy: You forget one thing. I AM BILLY BREAKDOWN! Master of the backslide. The Challenger of the impossible. Wearer of novelty jackets, The Japanesse know me as Jaakuna ōgoe de hakujin, In Mexico I am known as Uno que grita como un avestruz. SAVIOR of the spot monkeys, In russia I am called Pochemu etot paren' zdes. Oh and I am called many...many more names but i am a gentlemen and If i were to reveal more of my many names your very MIND would EXPLODE! ...and you know then you would be dead. 

Bianca:Whatever.

Bianca says rolling her eyes. 

Billy: See Bianca you are one of those young up and coming stars. You have the entire future at your finger tips...but it isnt your time yet. NO its MY TIME is the Age of Billy Breakdown here in SCW. I am the one that sells the merch i am the one that all of these people come to see week in and week out. The show isnt called SCW Bianca...or SCW Evans. its called SCW BREAKDOWN BAY BAY!

Bianca: It was breakdown long before you got here moron and it will be long after. 

She says in an annoyed tone. 

Billy: What you Dont get little lady is you want to make history...yea i heard your sad attempt at a promo. BUT I Billy Breakdown AM HISTORY I am a legend because of how spectacularly amazing i am. 

Bianca: You are amazingly stupid i'll give you that. 

Billy: Do not test me Because I will not hesitate to TAKE YOU DOWN TOWN TO KICK MART where all the Kicks are SUPER!

Bianca: You are a joke to me right now you raise a finger to me you ignorant blowheart i will break it...and then constinue to snap break and crushevery part of you till i am satisfied. You are a comedy Act you get that you are the joke i dont know how much more i have to point that out to you...That title is nothing...its another joke a prop in your little comedy act. I am a wrestler. I am an Evans I am here to make history you are right about that. But beating you...even slapping the paste out of your mouth it does nothing for me. It does nothing for my legacy and that is why i am here i am going to be a legend i am going to be in the hall of fame and every move i make is for that purpose every move i make is designed to Be able to stand beside my husband God himself Chad Evans. 

Billy: Obviously you couldnt do it on your own unlike i BILLY BREAKDOWN THE GREATEST WRESTLER IN THE HISTORY OF SPACE AND TIME!

Bianca:You are nothing A Gnat... And You dont know happy that makes me feel to know that this company has a real champion one we can respect Sienna Swann. She isnt a punch line she fights the best she goes out there every night and does whatever it takes to win. Not entertain those fucking losers. No she does what needs to be done she's My Champion not you. 

Billy: Well thats...er...

Bianca: The Truth you may have had some talent at some point you may have had a chance to be something at some point. But you blew it you became the joke that will never be any thing more then this you will never be anything more then the warm up act the opener. Me I am never going to be that again I am never going to just accept being less then what i know i deserve. I will never be a joke like you...I am better then that. I dont know how you can just accept that you are so insigifigant. That your legacy will be a gag a joke that made some people chuckle not because your exactly what i am scared of becoming. I lost at the ppv i made mistakes...it sucked but i see you and really realize that i could be so much worse...so thank you. I see you and I see people like Sienna, Regan, Bree and Even that idiot Snow queen and i realize thats where i want to be where i need to be. So thank you i cant allow myself to fall...or worst of all to be you. A lost cause.

Billy: What?

Bianca:You are DOA dont you see it your ceiling is non existant you arent going to main event rise to greatness. You arent going to even be TV Champ...you arent going to be anything.And me... I cant allow that...I need to be something not just for chad but for myself. 

Billy:You clearly havent seen my t-shirts-

Bianca:Its a joke...the punchline that is you...does any of that shit really matter. Good luck...because really being you...i wouldnt wish that on anyone.

Bianca Walks away with a smug smile on her Face. Billy slumps down to the floor looking at the title he just stares at it the words stinging him at his core.

Billy: I just want to do what i love...i just want to be a part of this....

He says in a tone that seems hurt and defeated.

Billy: I wanted just to be something to make my mark but...is this really what i am.

Miss Missato Walks into the room with a concerned look on her face seeing how sad he looks.

Miss Missato: Billy are you ok?

Billy:Am I joke?

Miss Missato: No of course not why would you say that.

Billy: Everyone has their place in the world I get it. But I really wanted to stand out to show every one I really mattered. 

Miss Missato: You are a good person Billy you brought me here i am learning so much about this world i am nothing but thankful to you.

Billy: Why would you be thankful to me i caused you to miss the Deadline for your first emerge promo because I wanted to get a pedicure...i am just a selfish asshole.

Miss Missato: no you are my friend I wanted to be with you. You know so much about wrestling you know so much about how to entertain the people I learn something new each day. Why are you saying this.

Billy: I want you to leave me...Goto Emerge become the Superstar I know you can be. I'm not going to stop you. I want you to win that tournament. I've been so selfish so scared that maybe you'd end up better then i am.

Miss Missato: No I wont...i wont leave you....But I will make you proud in Emerge i will use everything I've learned from you Billy to show the world dreams do come true.

Billy: Thank you...

Miss Missato: Billy you are a Champion. You are so much more then those people think you are any less. You are my friend and to a girl from japan. Who is so far from home and everything is so different you have helped me so much dont feel bad for anything you are amazing billy.

Billy: I just dont know Bianca...she said some things that really stun...and they were the truth. Is being a joke really what i want to be. When maybe I can be more...maybe i can be something special she said that I am lost cause...

Miss Missato: Lets just get you back to the hotel and get you some rest. 

WELL That was a downer...usually we get some silly banter and a disillusioned man trapped in his own fantasy world. Clearly things are about to change...or maybe stay exactly the same due to the writers lack of creativity you never know with these types of things.

Billy arrived at the coffee shop who could he possibly be meeting with it couldnt possibly be another guest star in this writers stable of Characters as he really didnt have access to any one elses....Billy Sits down ordering a coffee why do we even bother detail these things he sits in the stall do you ever notice that these dinners seem to exist everywhere in the media yet it real life you hardly see them...yea thats weird.

Billy waits...definetly not for another guest star....Wait i Lied Its Katelyn Buehler....Really? You couldnt just Message Wasley? Get a helms? I'm sure Omar hasn't blocked you yet there's like Half a dozen streets he could have given you for a scene oh well the well of creativity continues with this one.

Katelyn: Hey Billy how are you doing.

Billy: Ok...I just...im all mixxed up in the head.

Katelyn: How so?

Katelyn asks tilting her head in a concerned manner.

Billy: My career...my life...I mean this extreme over confidence thing is fun....except when you know.

Katelyn: Oh Yea cant buy a win I've been there... Losing is a bitch but you know what its part of the job not every match can be an amazing win.

Billy: I know but I mean even when I win its like....oh shit did some one fuck up how could this idiot pull this off.

Katelyn: You are doing Great....I am so proud of you. 

Billy: Do you really Want the world To know Billy Breakdown is your brother....the loud mouth ass hole. 

Katelyn: I love my brother no matter what Billy or Kevin....Whatever name.

Billy: I'm glad your ok with you know not taking the family name.

Katelyn: Breakdown rolls off the tongue a little easier then Buehler. And less Faris Buehlers day off jokes.

The both chuckle.

Katelyn: And I got the whole me thing...with my history i dont really want my little brother having to deal with my past in the conversation with every match he's in.

Billy: I know enough about your sex life...the less it comes up the better. 

Katelyn: So whats wrong your still getting booked...Your in the fatal fortunes...hell we may end up facing each other who knows.

Billy: I want to be more Kate...you had that moment in your Career when you went from...you know.

Katelyn: a joke..?

Billy: Yea so how do i do it i love being Billy breakdown but how can i be the best Billy Breakdown i can be. 

Katelyn: Ok Kevin...Er Billy sorry I promise i'll never make that mistake on camera I swear. I think what you need to do is be you. You are hilarious there is a reason you have a cult following as is. Its not just the cute asian girl

Billy:Thanks for training her sis...she loves this stuff.

Katelyn:No problem...now is she your-

Billy: No no not at all. 

Katelyn: Oh ok whatever shes a good kid and i needed to do something with my time when i was healing up the elbow.

Billy: How are things with Ace.

Katelyn: Shitty.... i doubt things ever are when your friendship with your best friend is destroyed when he finds out he is the father of one of your children. 

Billy: Ah cant really say ive been there. Your maternity tests really are like a game of "Guess who"

Katelyn: Asshole.

Billy: So really the best you can give me is be yourself.

Katelyn: What do you think I have a road map to success. I've had my moments but the downs they happen. They happen and its because one person...wins one loses. The math is pretty simple with the real chance of success and failure.

Billy: But I have a %171 chance of winning...you only have a 50 percent...remeber i am Billy Breakdown...master of time space...and now math!...yea...thats it i have mastered math.

Katelyn giggles smiling 

Katelyn: Thats what SCW needs we have enough drama and bullshit we have enough people cheating on their spouces or doing horrible shit. This is you Billy not that not drudging up the drama. Because dude i have my share of Drama and it is sooooo boring i'd rather be having zanny adventures then. Dealing with Ex's getting married, kidnappings or whatever else may be happening this week.

Billy: I am the master of the backslide...THE GREATEST MOVE IN ALL SPACE AND TIME!

Katelyn starts laughing cracking up completly.

Katelyn:You know what to do... And I appreicate you coming to me for help maybe get a stamp on the big sister card. 

Billy: I do i just got it in me that i just was a joke.

Katelyn: All it takes is one moment and everything can turn around in this business. 

Billy: You know this business needs you dont you?

Katelyn: What do you mean.

Billy: I mean you SCW....wrestling it needs Katelyn Buehler...Sis you are a rock for so many people...me obviously but people are inspired by you. And i see how you are....you look like your ready to pack it in. I know the girls need you. I know you love being a mom. But this place its better when you are here then when you arent.

Katelyn:I love ya kev but come on I'm not that essential im just a girl who made some mistakes and some how turned it around. but then made several more.

Billy: You were the heart of IWC Kate. And alot of those people in the locker room they see you as a leader. dont under estimate youself. 

Katelyn: Fine... 

Billy: But if you and I face at Fatal Fortunes I WILL DESTROY YOU!.

Katelyn: Dude I will totally elbow you in the face lil bro.

Katelyn says playfully.

Billy: You sure you can even do that any more.

Katelyn:For you i will.

Billy: But you forget I can go intangible at will! For I AM BILLY BREAKDOWN CHALLENGER OF THE IMPOSSIBLE! 

==============
Billy Shoot -This stuff you can use...or just ignore it like we all know every one does-
==============

We open with a shot of Billy Breakdown turned away from the camera. He is wearing a leather jacket with his SCW Universal Championship of the Galaxy and also Space and Time. 

Billy: FATAL FORTUNES BAY BAY! The time of the year where its all on the line. It doesnt matter if you are among the elite like Sienna Swann...and Myself or at the Bottom of the pecking order. This is the one series of shows. So many will claim their big moment on this glorious night but they are all just ignorant BECAUSE IT IS I!!!! BILLY BREAKDOWN Who is the one who will claim the fatal fortunes. I already purchased the sub...well rented it...and I will find the eye of the ocean!

Billy stops and a black shirt production crew member comes up to him and whispers into his ear.

Billy: What....what do you mean it isnt an actual under water treasure hunt! SOME ONE TRICKED ME! NO ONE TRICKS BILLY BREAKDOWN MASTER OF THE BACKSLIDE!

The production crew member whispers some more into Billys ear.

Billy: That Actually makes alot more sense...why would a treasure hunt have anything to do with wrestling...But Why are angels, Seth lords and other obviously not owned by disney trademarks running around SCW. But I guess I should begin again....If you dont know who i am...  I AM BILLY BREAKDOWN! Master of the backslide. The Challenger of the impossible. Wearer of novelty jackets, The Japanesse know me as Jaakuna ōgoe de hakujin, In Mexico I am known as Uno que grita como un avestruz. SAVIOR of the spot monkeys, In russia I am called Pochemu etot paren' zdes. Oh and I am called many...many more names but i am a gentlemen and If i were to reveal more of my many names Oh such terrible things would happen...The very Fabrics of time and space would rip apart and an alternate reality version of earth where its exactly they same as our own but the people are rabbits would invade ours. And these rabbit people they would not feed on carrots and lettuce like Rabbits do but HUMAN FLESH!

Billy: But fear not SCW Fans....For I Billy Breakdown and for two weeks Billy Fatal Fortunes. Shall Protect reality from these breaches at these secret names I shall not reveal like a stalwart watch men i will keep these names close never letting these mystical names go...not even allowing the slightest whisper of them escape my lips. 

Billy: FATAL FORTUNES Will be a night where people will sit in a discord chat talking about these matches and maybe several of them will make reference to porn. And others will be like...we really didnt need to hear that. And there will also be much talk about Everything wrong with the product and how everything would be better if just one person were booked better. 

Billy: But LISTEN TO THESE WORDS I SPEAK! Billy Breakdown Is here at your stead the champion of TIME AND SPACE! I will ensure that no children are murdered in these fortunes of Fatal because lets face it...child death its not a cool thing and really that thing can just turn people off the product and what we're trying to do here is build an audience not lose one. 

Billy: To my potential Opponents do you truly believe there is any chance...against I! The master of THE MOST DEVASTATING MOVE IN ALL EXISTENCE THE BACKSLIDE! Others may try to slide the back...but believe me no one Can slide a back LIKE BILLY BREAKDOWN MASTER OF THE BACKSLIDE CHALLENGER OF THE IMPOSSIBLE! RECYCLER OF THE SNAPPLE BOTTLES! No there is many within SCW the land of Supreme who think they can escape the backslide! They believe they can counter the Backslide but the truth is that there is NO ESCAPE FROM THE BACKSLIDE OF BILLY BREAKDOWN! 

He screams pointing his finger at the wall....but you notice something weird....Because he has yet to face the camera...but trust me this wasnt lazy writing...no....there was a reason for this. 

Billy: You may notice i have yet to face you...to face you so the viewers could see the face of their champion. BECAUSE I BILLY BREAKDOWN HAVE AN AMAZING EARTH SHATTERING ANNOUCEMENT!....I AM TURNING....FACE!

See...


Billy Turns around and as you see he is now face...his heels are no where to be seen on the camera as its more of an upper body shot so yea.

Billy: YES I have seen that this world had many of villians most of them having heels. So I BILLY BREAKDOWN THE GREATEST OF CHAMPIONS IN ALL OF SUPREME CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING! Have TURNED FACE! I will NEVER GO BARE FOOT AGAIN! For it is obvious to me now that There is much wrong with SCW. And the time for selfishness has passed and...THE TIME OF HEROES IS NIGH!!!!!

Billy: Mark my Words those who would do Evil with in SCW I BILLY BREAKDOWN MASTER OF THE BACKSLIDE. KEEPER OF THE RENTAL CAR KEYS! BRINGER OF THE CAFFINE FREE LATTE'S! Will now stand on the side of GOOD! I will now be the DEFENDER OF ALL THAT IS GOOD EVEN IF IT IS GLUTEN FREE and tastes Kind of Gross. 


Billy: Many In SCW have been brought down by these heels of evil. Some have even been tempted in there thorns of evil But If you do not believe me....LOOK ITS DAVID HELMS!

The camera turns and we see David helms surpised to have the camera pointed at him.

David Helms: Er...Hi?

Billy: TELL THEM TELL THE SCW FANS This universe of good kind of people. THAT I BILLY BREAKDOWN AM A FACE! And by this acknowledgement by one of SCW's greatest of heroes i am truly accepted into this brotherhood.

David Helms: Yea...er...he's a face.

Billy: EXTRAORDINARY!  And like you did I shall fight the forces of evil no matter how short they may be...even if they are 5'3...but not under 4'11 BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE SILLY! And I Billy Breakdown the newest member of the Next Level am Anything but Silly!

David Helms: What? 

Billy: Yes...You David Helms Have inducted me as the newest member of the next Level. I HAVE LEVELED UP!

David Helms: I did not say that. 

Billy: Really...you pretty much did...

David Helms: No i didnt.

Billy stops and walks over to David Helms. They exchange some whispers which seem to include Billy Breakdown pleading with helms. Helms shaking his head...Then Billy apparently begging some more...then maybe...crying? David helms sighs and pats billy in the back and then suddenly.

Billy: THEN IT IS AGREED I AM AN HONORARY RESERVE BUT OFFICAL MEMBER OF THE NEXT LEVEL much like such great superheroes like Dark Hawk, Moon knight and Spiderman were reserve members...i should have probably led with spiderman but i didnt BECAUSE DARK HAWK IS AWESOME! You may go now my brother in levels of next we shall fight many bosses together and go to many castles searching for princess's who are apparently never there. 

David: Please lose my number. 

David Helms walks away probably as quickly as he can. And Likely wishing for the days who were written by a bearded british man instead of a canadian....who is also quite bearded. 

Billy: SO you See SCW Villians...or heeled ones....I am now on the forces of good and that means bad news for each of you because I plan to defend justice...To Beat the weak...wait no that was a heeled one thing to say sorry...i just turned. But BILLY BREAKDOWN THE NEWEST RESERVE MEMBER OF THE NEXT LEVEL AND DEFINETLY CANNON Will now and forever be a warrior in the fight for good. And At Fatal Fortunes all that dear do evil Deeds be well aware A BACKSLIDE MAY JUST BE IN YOUR FUTURE! BILLY BREAKDOWN BAY BAY!!!!

Billy Breakdown screams out proudly as the scene cuts to black....

So we've reached the end of this story that may just be the insane rambling off a mad caffine binge that may never be touched on again...or maybe this is the one promo that changes everything...no probably not. And really you'd think after writing this stuff for so long this guy would have more creative ways to end these...but no same old scene cuts to black. How sad....how very very sad.

Use the 19th September Breakdown show RP, please. Thank you.

Tag Team Name: Insanity.Inc
Members: Anthony Wallace & Nicole “Ducky” Kinneck
Status: Active
Pic Bases: Tom Hardy & Avril Lavigne
Alignment: Heel
Combined Weight: 354lbs
Theme Song: "Sick or Sane”" By Senses Fail

Relationship Between Partners:
Wallace and Nicole are former members of the stable The Rejected, which was a rag tag group of miscreants not deemed ‘normal’ enough for society to accept them. The group eventually fell to pieces but Wallace and Nicole remained together as they had started dating and are now married.

Tag Team Finisher:
Greetings from the Psyche Ward:
- Flapjack/Inverted Lungblower
Ducky stands by as Wallace whips the opponent into the ropes and as they rebound, he lifts them up into the air with a flapjack. Kinneck rushes in and as the opponent falls, she nails an inverted lungblower. 

The Lobotomy:
- Top rope go to sleep/Top rope double foot stomp to face.
Kinneck climbs the ropes as Wallace drags the opponent to the opposite corner. He lifts them up onto the top before hitting his Shock Therapy singles finisher from up there. He quickly then rolls out of the way as Kinneck then dives off the top and nails a double foot stomp, she then turns around and blows the downed opponent a kiss before the legal person goes for the pin.

Entrance: 
The arena lights cut as a video package opens up on the screen. An old Asylum is visible, with the camera walking down a gravel driveway towards the door as rain pours all around. The sounds of circular saws, drills and screams are coming from the building and you can just about hear the gravel crunching under foot as the camera makes it to the door. A hand reaches out for the door handle and as the door opens, the image is replaced suddenly with a close up of a woman in a straight jacket screaming her lungs out. The woman lunges towards the screen as “"Sick or Sane”" by Senses Fail blasts over the pa system; the crowd giving a mixed reaction of cheers and boos. As the music continues, Nicole Kinneck skips out from the back and nervously looks out at the crowd, tentatively waving to a select few in the audience. As she’s waving, Anthony Wallace walks out through the curtain, ignoring the crowd reaction completely, making his way over to where Nicole is stood. He wraps his arm around Nicole’s back, making her jump slightly before she turns to look him in the eye. 

Kidman: Making their way to the ring, with a combined weight of three hundred thirty three pounds; they are the team of Anthony Wallace and Nicole Kinneck…... INSANITY INC!

The crowd continue with a mix of cheers and boos as Wallace leans his forehead against Nicole’s and starts shouting in her face, before Nicole starts screaming back at him. After a few seconds Nicole pushes Wallace back and throws her head back, screaming to the world at large. As she does, Wallace turns to the crowd and throws his right arm in the air, his fists clenches tight before bringing it down and beating it hard against his chest twice in quick succession. Wallace and Nicole look at each other before walking down to the ring, Nicole smiling at the fans down the ramp as she skips and Wallace ignoring them completely. As they reach the ring, he just pulls him self to the apron using the ropes and steps over the top as Nicole slides into the ring under the bottom rope. Kinneck skips around the ring waving to the fans as Wallace makes his way to a corner and leans back into the ropes, waiting for the start of the match, his concentration not breaking once.

Show is largely complete, but I'm waiting for one match to be turned in. Hopefully it will be in soon. I will post the show when I can tomorrow.

Roster to be booked across the next two weeks:
Aaron Blackbourne
Abigail Lindsay
AJ Helms
Alexis Quinne
Alistaire Allocco
Andrew Raynes
Angelica Jones
Autumn Valentine
Behemoth
Bianca Evans
Billy Fatal Fortunes
Blake Mason
Bree Lancaster
Cassidy Carter
Casterillo
Chris Cannon
Christy Matthews
Crissy Gardner
Damian Angel
Dante McCaffery
Dawn Lohan
Derek Adonis
Donovan Kayl
Dustin Adams
Gigi Steward
Ikiro Yoshida
Jake Starr
James Evans
Jason Helms
Josh Hudson
Justin Davis
Kali
Katelyn Buehler
Katie Steward
Kennedy Street
Konrad Raab
London Truelove
Madison Steward
Malphas
Manvel
Marie Jones
Max Kane
Owen Cruze
Paris Truelove
Ravyn Taylor
Regan Street
Ruby Amarant
Samantha Raine
Scarlet Grey
Selena Frost
Sienna Swann
Slayter McKinney
Syren
Thirteen
Tommy Valentine
Total Terror

Please double-check this list. If I have missed someone, I apologize, but please let me know. 

Fatal Fortunes returns – EVERY TITLE will be on the line across the two shows. The Television Championship will be on the line both weeks. EVERY wrestler will be booked on both across both shows. The participants (and stipulations) for every match will be completely random. I will have a complete list of everyone who will be booked up next week.
 
To roleplay for this show: Simply post a roleplay. The show has a 1 RP limit and must be posted by Noon ET Tuesday, September 25, 2018. There is one caveat – if you are booked on Breakdown for September 19, you can choose to have your roleplay for that show count for Fatal Fortunes. This is because I realize some people may be unable to roleplay in back to back weeks. Otherwise, if you don't have a roleplay posted for Fatal Fortunes or the September 19 Breakdown, I will consider it the same as no roleplay posted.