Selena Frost vs. Religious Wright

[Braddock]

The camera opens and we see the pastor of The Sword of Joshua Full Gospel Pentecostal Temple of Joy Holiness by way of Mt. Judea, Arknasas. He is wearing a bright baby blue pastoral robe with an image of Selena Frost on the front. On the wall behind Wright is a plaque that reads “I STILL BELIEVE!” Standing next to Wright, cosplaying as Deanna Frost, is Brother Douglas.

“My brothas and my sistas in THA LAWD, I come to you from this unholy filth of a social media platform known as YOUTUBE for the sole purpose of delivering the beautiful, soul saving message of integrity, the soul saving message of SELENA FROST! CAN I GET AN AMEN?!”

“Amen!” Brother Douglas says.

“Some of you witnessed what that fraud, that BREELIEVER, tried to do to me on Breakdown, but despite that minor setback I was not deterred! In fact, there have been many who have tried to silence the blessed word of hope and beauty…the FRAUDULENT FAKE GOD James Evans, the BEAST INCARNATE Adam Brock…but have I stopped? Has the faith of your pastor ever failed or faltered?”

“Actually, you were threatening to quit the ministry after James Evans whipped your ass, Pastor Wright.”

“Shut up!” Wright angrily declares. “No one asked you! Besides, James was a fraud! Our one true source of soul saving sanctifying grace is SELENA FROST! CAN I GET AN AMEN?!”

“Amen!” Brother Douglas says.

“I have long declared that SCW stands for Satanic Championship Wrestling and what further proof do you need of the truth of that statement than how SCW has betrayed Selena Frost? But I, YOUR PASTOR RELIGIOUS WRIGHT, stands here before the glory of THA LAWD to fight for Selena Frost and her godly virtue! CAN I GET AN AMEN?!”

“Amen!” Brother Douglas says.

“Now my next opponent…what poor sap do I face next, Brother Douglas?”

“Selena Frost.”

“The pop singer?”

“No, that’s Selena GOMEZ.”

“You mean the guy married to Morticia?”

“That’s Gomez Addams.”

“I thought that was the chick who ran her own reality show and tried to get Brittany Lohan to buy her a latte…”

“That’s Holly Adams.”

“I thought that was the attractive broad on the show starring three witches…”

“That’s Holly Marie Combs.”

“Then who the hell am I thinking of?!” Wright shrugs his shoulders.

“Selena Frost.”

“Wait…” Wright looks down at his robe, at the image of Selena Frost printed on the front, then he looks back up at Brother Douglas “...I HAVE TO FIGHT MY SAVIOR?!”

“Yes.” Brother Douglas confirms, nodding his head.

“MY GODDESS!” Wright exclaims. “Selena, I gladly sacrifice myself to you and your holy mission of integrity! Kick my ass! Kick my ass for your holy name!”