08-08-2026, 11:28 PM
One would think that if Rise To Greatness is going to have a ladder match for the United States title, then someone would really go out of their way to really give the people what they want: a taste of the true American spirit to show who really deserves to wear the belt representing the stars and stripes. Someone seems to have decided to do just that, and it's resulted in probably one of the craziest scenes we could've possibly stumbled upon. We hear motorcycles revving, we see sparklers dancing in front of our view, but our focus beyond all of that? It's on the good ol' American flag... kind of. It becomes clear very quickly that our view is actually consumed entirely by a pair of very ample asses, and American flag thongs do their part in making you want to pledge allegiance to the raw sexual spirit of the United States of America. In the midst of all of this, we here several voices of all different ranges singing their take on a very familiar tune.
Voices: Hail to the champs we have chosen for the nation! Hail to the asses, we salute them, one and all! Hail to the titties as we pledge allegiance, in proud fulfillment of a hot and sexy call! Yours is the spirit to make this sexy country sexier! This you will do, that's our rock hard belief! Hail to the bombshells we worship as our goddesses! Hail to the Glimmers, hail to the champs!
This “remixed” rendition of “Hail to The Chief” is followed by tons of cheering as we slowly pull away from the tantalizing sight, and perhaps it's no surprise that those perfect peaches are revealed to belong to the Glimmer Sisters. Gia & Gina both slowly turn to face us, swiveling their hips as they reveal their tops are literally just tiny white glittery stars barely covering their nipples tied up with red and blue string, and it's not hard to assume we're on the grounds of wherever Cirque du Sins has set up shop in Detroit... which seems to be fairly close to Ford Field as it and tons of SCW-related activities can be seen in the background within walking distance. Not to mention the twins are surrounded by their fellow circus freaks, who've all put on their best appearances when it comes to making you want to simply rip off your pants and go to town right now. Feel free to pause the video if you need to, this horny menagerie would happily understand. Jugglers are tossing lit sparklers between them around the Glimmers, and as if paying homage to the Motor City, it seems the circus has a new act in the form of motorcycle stunt riders leaping through flaming hoops while wearing probably the tightest suits that have ever been designed to intentionally show off everything as they make some rather suggestive motions during their stunts. While the fun continues on around them, however, the Glimmers do strut forward to take the implied spotlight.
Gia(?): So... who actually thought our hot asses were going to be left off the card for Rise To Glimmer?
Gina(?): Quite a few people it seems, which is truly sad. I mean, this whole event is named after us...
Gia(?): Not Rise To Gavin or Rise To Glory or Rise To- who the fuck cares because everyone knows who the real moneymakers are around here!
Gina(?): Let them all keep pretending sis. I hear it soothes a broken ego when you believe your own bullshit hoping it'll manifest into reality.
Gia(?): Really? Pretty sure there's far too many dipshits out there making those same claims about us.
Gina(?): Truly a shame... nobody around here actually understands our art, they just whine and bitch and moan about how we don't belong here or don't deserve this or shouldn't have that when, last I checked, we spent the first year of our SCW careers dominating everybody put in front of us.
Gia(?): And she does mean everybody. You can literally count on one hand the number of people who've beaten us, and then reality flashes you its titties to remind you that we've also beaten almost everyone on that list. Selena?
Gina(?): Humbled.
Gia(?): Amelia?
Gina(?): Humiliated, twice.
Gia(?): Xander?
Gina(?): Fucked off when we kicked his ass.
Gia(?): The only names we haven't gotten our wins back from are Deanna and Luz, but it's only a matter of time. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure that means the only ones who've ever actually beaten us are SCW's so-called absolute best... so what does that make us?
Gina(?): Pretty sure that makes us fucking goddesses, but we know you'll all agree to disagree while you're all trying so hard to resist giving in to temptation and giving us our prize and skipping this match altogether. Let's face it... it's inevitable.
Gia(?): I mean, who else in SCW embodies the true spirit of America than the Glimmer Sisters?
The Cirque du Sins troupe all cheer as both twins can't help but shake their tits and asses a little more, dancing around one another in a way that's not only meant to entice you and whatever parts you're working with below the belt, but also mix them up when combined with all the other circus chaos going on around them, just in case you might've been trying to piece together which twin in which.
Gina(?): Come on boys and girls, we all know that America's true heart and soul lies in the fact that it's the home of, hands down, the single sexiest people on the entire fucking planet, as well as the most talented. Sorry to anyone who finds that offensive, but considering I'm obviously referring to the two of us, it's not racist if every other American out there also can't compare and only wishes they could be us.
Gia(?): If this were a campaign and we were rallying to be elected as your next United States champions, we'd have your vote hands down. Unfortunately, it seems like democracy dying a slow, painful death at the hands of a sad old man who desperately wants to keep pretending he's in control is how we ended up instead having to solve this manner via climbing ladders to retrieve the gold.
Gina(?): Make of my sister's words as you will and direct any insults to the crusty old bastard who pops into your head, but a ladder match for that title between seven people doesn't change the fact that you're looking at your winners right here.
Gia(?): Before you all start getting your panties in a twist, think long and hard about what you're up against. Yeah, we're sure some of you have been in ladder matches before, good for you. But you've never been in a ladder match against the likes of us before.
Gina(?): If it hasn't become stupidly obvious yet, a match like this might as well be home for us. Unparalleled sex appeal aside, my sister and I have built our names on being acrobats that would put the clowns of Cirque du Soleil to shame. There is no risk we won't take, no heights we won't soar to...
Gia(?): And plenty of tricks you haven't even seen from us yet. Yeah, we can flip and spin and walk the ropes like a high wire, but outside the ring? We're usually doing stunt like that from much higher in the air, and even if you take away the safety net, we're not afraid because we know we're flexible and agile enough to hit the mark every single time. Give us that extra height via ladders, and you'll realize pretty quickly that you idiots practically gave us home field advantage.
Gina(?): I can hear Dexy crying and complaining from here. We can't help it, the guy just makes it so easy to fuck with him and make him start frothing at the mouth like a rabid raccoon. I mean, how long now has he been making excuses for his own stupidity to try and discredit the fact that we kicked his ass along with some other loser out in the parking lot back during Fatal Fortunes?
Gia(?): Probably as long as he's been butthurt about the fact that his nerdy nobody of a flunky has more game than him and we were just trying to help our friend Destiny really rock his world. But no, we apparently just don't get it and he's going to violent “disconnect” us or whatever because he just can't accept that we've been ten steps ahead of him every single time, and Rise To Glimmer will be no different.
Gina(?): If he has anything in common with Marie Jones, it's the fact that they're both delusional dumbasses who can't figure out that getting into people's heads is what we do best, and since we're already living rent free in both spaces, I think we can write the both of them off right now.
Gia(?): Marie, babe? Nice little ego trip you went on while proving us right, not about you actually sucking Franky's shriveled dick because you could be blowing CHBK instead and we wouldn't fucking care. But to think we're in this match because of you? Calm your tits bitch, because if anything? You were just a fun little side adventure to prove who the best twins are around here. If anybody's the reason we're in this match, it's the nutcase complaining about social media and thinking he's going to save the world some some imaginary plague because as we've established, we've been fucking with Dexy-Poo all year.
Gina(?): But sure, tell yourself you were going to beat him for the title and everything was going to be sunshine and rainbows. Maybe that would've opened up Dexnut for another dance with us with his little emo ex, but we probably would've come to get “acquainted” with you anyway. After all, the real reason we're here is the same shiny little hunk of gold you're PMSing over. But, we get it, just like we get why you completely failed to understand the point of what we did at Taking Holds of the Flame. It's no surprise you take this shit way too seriously, and that's exactly why when we have our kinky clown fun at Rise To Glimmer, it's going to end with us hanging from the rafters rubbing that title between us while you're wondering how the fuck you ended up broken and crippled at the hands of a couple of proud sluts who outshined you.
Gia(?): Just as Dexter will go right back to bitching from his own hospital bed because he learned the hard way that when you play stupid games...
Gina(?): The Glimmers deliver your stupid prizes in the form of hospital bills and broken pride.
The twins both slowly bend over, cheered on by their circus family as they wink and blow kisses to Dexter and Marie while knowing full well they've only added to the temptation with the sheer amount of cleavage on display now.
Gina(?): I suppose we should move on to Oskar now.
Gia(?): Do we though? Do we really?
Gina(?): I mean, he is another victim on the list, sis.
Gia(?): But what is there to even say about him? He's European, he's another fuckwit from the Fiery Nation, he's just going to repeat the same bullshit they've all spewed towards us every single time we've put them in their place about how we don't belong here, we're not real wrestlers, we're whores who should be ashamed, they're going to maim and kill and destroy us...
Gina(?): OK, yeah, when you put it like that, saying anything to Oskar at this point is like bullying a special needs kid: sad and just makes you feel bad, as it should. Besides, we handed his ass to him in a tag match already just a few weeks ago, so what more is there to even say to him?
Gia(?): I'd much rather talk about the other actual Franky D. dickrider in this match, and not just because Chris Lawler is a man who looks like he might actually know how to show a lady a good time.
Gina(?): It's just a shame that he threw away any hope of punching his Lust Ticket with us the moment we decided to let the CEO convince him that he was such a special snowflake who could achieve all his dreams if he traded being a real man for being a corporate shill. Seriously Chris, how's that been working out for you? Is getting your ass kicked just like it probably was back in the “good ol' days” of ancient SCW ringing in the nostalgic feels yet?
Gia(?): Face it Chris, the only reason you even find yourself with a chance at actually doing something is because you've proven you know how to kiss ass just as well as Oskar and his funny European circle jerk to a degree that Marie could only dream of doing. Compared to us, though? All three of you, regardless of whether or not you worship Franky like a god because we could care less, have done what ultimately amounts to jack and shit around here, and when you realize the two of us have literally spent the last year kicking ass and humbling the entire roster while looking hot as hell doing it?
Gina(?): Yeah, I'd say we deserve this way more than any of you do. But if you ask some people, the only person who deserves this any more than us is a cranky cowgirl who rode back into town demanding her bounty back, only to find two new sheriffs in charge around here who've already proven she doesn't stack up to us in any category.
Some of the stunt riders begin revving their motorcycles as Meghan Strader becomes the topic of conversation.
Gia(?): Settle down boys. We get it, Meghan loves to ride her hog and threaten everyone with a good time, but as my twin said, we've outwitted her before and she's out of her depth in our sinful world. Go ahead and declare vengeance for how we “robbed” you of a Trios contract last year, because I think we went and proved it had much more value in our hands anyway.
Gina(?): Maybe this is supposed to be your redeeming glory, Meghan. Maybe this is where you prove that CHBK had the right idea letting you think you deserved to get your title back, but we know the truth: your reign was on borrowed time as it was. When the two of us say that all that Glimmers is gold, that's us telling the world that every title in SCW is fated to end up wrapped around our sinfully sexy bodies eventually. It's inevitable...
Gia(?): Just like you riding off into the sunset once again to tell your family how much of a failure you are to a family name no one gives two shits about.
By now, you've probably noticed that both Glimmers have been making sure not to give away the game of who's who, but we've also reached the point now where they've run out of people to talk about. That is... aside from each other, since they're technically opponents as well in this ladder match with how it's set up. Slowly, that realization seems to dawn on them as they turn to face one another, their haughty smiles vanishing as a sudden tension begins to build, one that even brings all the joyful and raunchy activity around them to a halt. Everyone watches with worry as the twins get nose-to-nose, tit-to-tit, sizing each other up like they may not wait until the bell rings to try and gain any sort of advantage over one another...
Only for the both of them to pull away from each other, laughing their asses off and inciting everyone around them to laugh as well, all of them clearly in on the joke as bright circus joy shines through, even if it's in a way that we know still has your hand stuffed into your waistband.
Gia(?): Holy shit! I wonder how many idiots out there actually bought that tension?
Gina(?): Probably all of them because they clearly don't know who the fuck we are.
Gia(?): OK, for those slow on the uptake, we'll be nice and fill in the holes for you.
Gina(?): We know how to read the card, and we know we're listed to supposedly fight each other as well in this thing. After all, only one of us can actually win.
Gia(?): And to that, we say a loud and proud “FUCK YOU!” Sorry boys and girls, but if you actually believed a singles title meant for only one person to hold was going to tear us apart, then congrats on proving just how fucked all of you truly are beyond stepping onto our stage and playing our acrobatic game.
Gina(?): Yeah, maybe that's how it's “supposed” to work, but if we haven't made it clear over the past year, the two of us believe that rules, like clothes sometimes, are merely a suggestion. Don't believe us? Then tell me: what happens if the both of us just so happen to pull the U.S. title down together? Kind of hard to pick one or the other when we both win fair and square, isn't it?
Gia(?): But say you somehow do manage to force it so that only one of us pulls that belt down? Yeah, either Gia or Gina will be the champion then... but what's stopping us from having a little fun and making you wonder if it's the Glimmer who grabbed the gold you're actually facing or the Glimmer who's still happy to share the glory without “earning” it because we all know how much that pisses you all off.
Gina(?): The fact of the matter is... you can't. Franky, CHBK, the board, none of them can truly stop the Glimmer Express from rolling out of Detroit as your co-champions, just as none of you can stop the only two people who will happily work together to make a joke out of each and every one of you because this is our show, our night, our moment.
Gia(?): So we welcome you all to Rise To Glimmer...
Gina(?): ...and we hope you enjoy the show.
Gia(?): Because all that Glimmers is gold.
Gina(?): And you'll all embrace the Glimmerican dream when we flaunt the stars and stripes the way they were meant to be presented every single week going forward.
All the horny circus freaks around the twins start singing their rendition of “Hail to The Chief” again as Gia & Gina take a bow, bending low enough that they contort themselves in a way that makes sure we still get one last look at those proud wrecking balls they call their booties before showing off a bit of their acrobatic prowess that will pose a problem come Sunday night with as they backflip and handspring their way into the crowd, ready to have some fun to pass the time until they take to the sky and claim their prize come Rise To Glimmer... I mean, Greatness.
Voices: Hail to the champs we have chosen for the nation! Hail to the asses, we salute them, one and all! Hail to the titties as we pledge allegiance, in proud fulfillment of a hot and sexy call! Yours is the spirit to make this sexy country sexier! This you will do, that's our rock hard belief! Hail to the bombshells we worship as our goddesses! Hail to the Glimmers, hail to the champs!
This “remixed” rendition of “Hail to The Chief” is followed by tons of cheering as we slowly pull away from the tantalizing sight, and perhaps it's no surprise that those perfect peaches are revealed to belong to the Glimmer Sisters. Gia & Gina both slowly turn to face us, swiveling their hips as they reveal their tops are literally just tiny white glittery stars barely covering their nipples tied up with red and blue string, and it's not hard to assume we're on the grounds of wherever Cirque du Sins has set up shop in Detroit... which seems to be fairly close to Ford Field as it and tons of SCW-related activities can be seen in the background within walking distance. Not to mention the twins are surrounded by their fellow circus freaks, who've all put on their best appearances when it comes to making you want to simply rip off your pants and go to town right now. Feel free to pause the video if you need to, this horny menagerie would happily understand. Jugglers are tossing lit sparklers between them around the Glimmers, and as if paying homage to the Motor City, it seems the circus has a new act in the form of motorcycle stunt riders leaping through flaming hoops while wearing probably the tightest suits that have ever been designed to intentionally show off everything as they make some rather suggestive motions during their stunts. While the fun continues on around them, however, the Glimmers do strut forward to take the implied spotlight.
Gia(?): So... who actually thought our hot asses were going to be left off the card for Rise To Glimmer?
Gina(?): Quite a few people it seems, which is truly sad. I mean, this whole event is named after us...
Gia(?): Not Rise To Gavin or Rise To Glory or Rise To- who the fuck cares because everyone knows who the real moneymakers are around here!
Gina(?): Let them all keep pretending sis. I hear it soothes a broken ego when you believe your own bullshit hoping it'll manifest into reality.
Gia(?): Really? Pretty sure there's far too many dipshits out there making those same claims about us.
Gina(?): Truly a shame... nobody around here actually understands our art, they just whine and bitch and moan about how we don't belong here or don't deserve this or shouldn't have that when, last I checked, we spent the first year of our SCW careers dominating everybody put in front of us.
Gia(?): And she does mean everybody. You can literally count on one hand the number of people who've beaten us, and then reality flashes you its titties to remind you that we've also beaten almost everyone on that list. Selena?
Gina(?): Humbled.
Gia(?): Amelia?
Gina(?): Humiliated, twice.
Gia(?): Xander?
Gina(?): Fucked off when we kicked his ass.
Gia(?): The only names we haven't gotten our wins back from are Deanna and Luz, but it's only a matter of time. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure that means the only ones who've ever actually beaten us are SCW's so-called absolute best... so what does that make us?
Gina(?): Pretty sure that makes us fucking goddesses, but we know you'll all agree to disagree while you're all trying so hard to resist giving in to temptation and giving us our prize and skipping this match altogether. Let's face it... it's inevitable.
Gia(?): I mean, who else in SCW embodies the true spirit of America than the Glimmer Sisters?
The Cirque du Sins troupe all cheer as both twins can't help but shake their tits and asses a little more, dancing around one another in a way that's not only meant to entice you and whatever parts you're working with below the belt, but also mix them up when combined with all the other circus chaos going on around them, just in case you might've been trying to piece together which twin in which.
Gina(?): Come on boys and girls, we all know that America's true heart and soul lies in the fact that it's the home of, hands down, the single sexiest people on the entire fucking planet, as well as the most talented. Sorry to anyone who finds that offensive, but considering I'm obviously referring to the two of us, it's not racist if every other American out there also can't compare and only wishes they could be us.
Gia(?): If this were a campaign and we were rallying to be elected as your next United States champions, we'd have your vote hands down. Unfortunately, it seems like democracy dying a slow, painful death at the hands of a sad old man who desperately wants to keep pretending he's in control is how we ended up instead having to solve this manner via climbing ladders to retrieve the gold.
Gina(?): Make of my sister's words as you will and direct any insults to the crusty old bastard who pops into your head, but a ladder match for that title between seven people doesn't change the fact that you're looking at your winners right here.
Gia(?): Before you all start getting your panties in a twist, think long and hard about what you're up against. Yeah, we're sure some of you have been in ladder matches before, good for you. But you've never been in a ladder match against the likes of us before.
Gina(?): If it hasn't become stupidly obvious yet, a match like this might as well be home for us. Unparalleled sex appeal aside, my sister and I have built our names on being acrobats that would put the clowns of Cirque du Soleil to shame. There is no risk we won't take, no heights we won't soar to...
Gia(?): And plenty of tricks you haven't even seen from us yet. Yeah, we can flip and spin and walk the ropes like a high wire, but outside the ring? We're usually doing stunt like that from much higher in the air, and even if you take away the safety net, we're not afraid because we know we're flexible and agile enough to hit the mark every single time. Give us that extra height via ladders, and you'll realize pretty quickly that you idiots practically gave us home field advantage.
Gina(?): I can hear Dexy crying and complaining from here. We can't help it, the guy just makes it so easy to fuck with him and make him start frothing at the mouth like a rabid raccoon. I mean, how long now has he been making excuses for his own stupidity to try and discredit the fact that we kicked his ass along with some other loser out in the parking lot back during Fatal Fortunes?
Gia(?): Probably as long as he's been butthurt about the fact that his nerdy nobody of a flunky has more game than him and we were just trying to help our friend Destiny really rock his world. But no, we apparently just don't get it and he's going to violent “disconnect” us or whatever because he just can't accept that we've been ten steps ahead of him every single time, and Rise To Glimmer will be no different.
Gina(?): If he has anything in common with Marie Jones, it's the fact that they're both delusional dumbasses who can't figure out that getting into people's heads is what we do best, and since we're already living rent free in both spaces, I think we can write the both of them off right now.
Gia(?): Marie, babe? Nice little ego trip you went on while proving us right, not about you actually sucking Franky's shriveled dick because you could be blowing CHBK instead and we wouldn't fucking care. But to think we're in this match because of you? Calm your tits bitch, because if anything? You were just a fun little side adventure to prove who the best twins are around here. If anybody's the reason we're in this match, it's the nutcase complaining about social media and thinking he's going to save the world some some imaginary plague because as we've established, we've been fucking with Dexy-Poo all year.
Gina(?): But sure, tell yourself you were going to beat him for the title and everything was going to be sunshine and rainbows. Maybe that would've opened up Dexnut for another dance with us with his little emo ex, but we probably would've come to get “acquainted” with you anyway. After all, the real reason we're here is the same shiny little hunk of gold you're PMSing over. But, we get it, just like we get why you completely failed to understand the point of what we did at Taking Holds of the Flame. It's no surprise you take this shit way too seriously, and that's exactly why when we have our kinky clown fun at Rise To Glimmer, it's going to end with us hanging from the rafters rubbing that title between us while you're wondering how the fuck you ended up broken and crippled at the hands of a couple of proud sluts who outshined you.
Gia(?): Just as Dexter will go right back to bitching from his own hospital bed because he learned the hard way that when you play stupid games...
Gina(?): The Glimmers deliver your stupid prizes in the form of hospital bills and broken pride.
The twins both slowly bend over, cheered on by their circus family as they wink and blow kisses to Dexter and Marie while knowing full well they've only added to the temptation with the sheer amount of cleavage on display now.
Gina(?): I suppose we should move on to Oskar now.
Gia(?): Do we though? Do we really?
Gina(?): I mean, he is another victim on the list, sis.
Gia(?): But what is there to even say about him? He's European, he's another fuckwit from the Fiery Nation, he's just going to repeat the same bullshit they've all spewed towards us every single time we've put them in their place about how we don't belong here, we're not real wrestlers, we're whores who should be ashamed, they're going to maim and kill and destroy us...
Gina(?): OK, yeah, when you put it like that, saying anything to Oskar at this point is like bullying a special needs kid: sad and just makes you feel bad, as it should. Besides, we handed his ass to him in a tag match already just a few weeks ago, so what more is there to even say to him?
Gia(?): I'd much rather talk about the other actual Franky D. dickrider in this match, and not just because Chris Lawler is a man who looks like he might actually know how to show a lady a good time.
Gina(?): It's just a shame that he threw away any hope of punching his Lust Ticket with us the moment we decided to let the CEO convince him that he was such a special snowflake who could achieve all his dreams if he traded being a real man for being a corporate shill. Seriously Chris, how's that been working out for you? Is getting your ass kicked just like it probably was back in the “good ol' days” of ancient SCW ringing in the nostalgic feels yet?
Gia(?): Face it Chris, the only reason you even find yourself with a chance at actually doing something is because you've proven you know how to kiss ass just as well as Oskar and his funny European circle jerk to a degree that Marie could only dream of doing. Compared to us, though? All three of you, regardless of whether or not you worship Franky like a god because we could care less, have done what ultimately amounts to jack and shit around here, and when you realize the two of us have literally spent the last year kicking ass and humbling the entire roster while looking hot as hell doing it?
Gina(?): Yeah, I'd say we deserve this way more than any of you do. But if you ask some people, the only person who deserves this any more than us is a cranky cowgirl who rode back into town demanding her bounty back, only to find two new sheriffs in charge around here who've already proven she doesn't stack up to us in any category.
Some of the stunt riders begin revving their motorcycles as Meghan Strader becomes the topic of conversation.
Gia(?): Settle down boys. We get it, Meghan loves to ride her hog and threaten everyone with a good time, but as my twin said, we've outwitted her before and she's out of her depth in our sinful world. Go ahead and declare vengeance for how we “robbed” you of a Trios contract last year, because I think we went and proved it had much more value in our hands anyway.
Gina(?): Maybe this is supposed to be your redeeming glory, Meghan. Maybe this is where you prove that CHBK had the right idea letting you think you deserved to get your title back, but we know the truth: your reign was on borrowed time as it was. When the two of us say that all that Glimmers is gold, that's us telling the world that every title in SCW is fated to end up wrapped around our sinfully sexy bodies eventually. It's inevitable...
Gia(?): Just like you riding off into the sunset once again to tell your family how much of a failure you are to a family name no one gives two shits about.
By now, you've probably noticed that both Glimmers have been making sure not to give away the game of who's who, but we've also reached the point now where they've run out of people to talk about. That is... aside from each other, since they're technically opponents as well in this ladder match with how it's set up. Slowly, that realization seems to dawn on them as they turn to face one another, their haughty smiles vanishing as a sudden tension begins to build, one that even brings all the joyful and raunchy activity around them to a halt. Everyone watches with worry as the twins get nose-to-nose, tit-to-tit, sizing each other up like they may not wait until the bell rings to try and gain any sort of advantage over one another...
Only for the both of them to pull away from each other, laughing their asses off and inciting everyone around them to laugh as well, all of them clearly in on the joke as bright circus joy shines through, even if it's in a way that we know still has your hand stuffed into your waistband.
Gia(?): Holy shit! I wonder how many idiots out there actually bought that tension?
Gina(?): Probably all of them because they clearly don't know who the fuck we are.
Gia(?): OK, for those slow on the uptake, we'll be nice and fill in the holes for you.
Gina(?): We know how to read the card, and we know we're listed to supposedly fight each other as well in this thing. After all, only one of us can actually win.
Gia(?): And to that, we say a loud and proud “FUCK YOU!” Sorry boys and girls, but if you actually believed a singles title meant for only one person to hold was going to tear us apart, then congrats on proving just how fucked all of you truly are beyond stepping onto our stage and playing our acrobatic game.
Gina(?): Yeah, maybe that's how it's “supposed” to work, but if we haven't made it clear over the past year, the two of us believe that rules, like clothes sometimes, are merely a suggestion. Don't believe us? Then tell me: what happens if the both of us just so happen to pull the U.S. title down together? Kind of hard to pick one or the other when we both win fair and square, isn't it?
Gia(?): But say you somehow do manage to force it so that only one of us pulls that belt down? Yeah, either Gia or Gina will be the champion then... but what's stopping us from having a little fun and making you wonder if it's the Glimmer who grabbed the gold you're actually facing or the Glimmer who's still happy to share the glory without “earning” it because we all know how much that pisses you all off.
Gina(?): The fact of the matter is... you can't. Franky, CHBK, the board, none of them can truly stop the Glimmer Express from rolling out of Detroit as your co-champions, just as none of you can stop the only two people who will happily work together to make a joke out of each and every one of you because this is our show, our night, our moment.
Gia(?): So we welcome you all to Rise To Glimmer...
Gina(?): ...and we hope you enjoy the show.
Gia(?): Because all that Glimmers is gold.
Gina(?): And you'll all embrace the Glimmerican dream when we flaunt the stars and stripes the way they were meant to be presented every single week going forward.
All the horny circus freaks around the twins start singing their rendition of “Hail to The Chief” again as Gia & Gina take a bow, bending low enough that they contort themselves in a way that makes sure we still get one last look at those proud wrecking balls they call their booties before showing off a bit of their acrobatic prowess that will pose a problem come Sunday night with as they backflip and handspring their way into the crowd, ready to have some fun to pass the time until they take to the sky and claim their prize come Rise To Glimmer... I mean, Greatness.