04-07-2020, 11:58 PM
(This post was last modified: 04-08-2020, 12:11 AM by Jay Gold.
Edit Reason: Computer not accepting all words I've typed. It also deleted my first posting attempt, which was at 11:58 PM.... <_<
)
OOC: I had to strip all the formatting. Apologies to Olek and to Ruppy and to everyone else. I'll try to get stuff sorted next time I'm due to role-play for a match. It does suck being on a Mac instead of IBM. I'm STILL getting used to it. 
DATE: Tuesday, April 7, 2020
TIME: 7:53 PM CDT
CITY: Mexico City, Mexico
LOCATION: Hotel Room
[To be honest, I am not feeling motivated at all right now. Not one bit. All I'm feeling is disappointment. A lot of you out there will of course point your fingers right at me at this current moment of time, because of what has recently happened. From me picking Xander Valentine for the Trios Tournament, to losing a hard-fought contest against Gavin Taylor where he had to take a liberty in order to get the job done, and to finally not wanting to continue in the match against Selena Frost, when the feelings between her and myself were mutual. We were both hurt. We both in that moment agreed that we could continue this at some other time, which was a very respectful decision to make between us.]
[So, why am I feeling disappointment? For the first time in my wrestling career, I'm disappointed with the fans out there. They booed when not a single one of them had a reason to do so. Trust me, it hurt, just as much as my shoulder and upper arm. After I left to the back that night, I tried to get a hold of Selena backstage, but opted against it when I got to her door and could hear that she was busy. I went back to my own locker room and feeling quite tired, conked right out on the couch. What I saw next was a vivid image that I just can't forget...]
[I could see Selena coming down the hallway towards me, holding her own arm and wincing, just like I'm doing. I take her aside and immediately tell her the truth, that I am disappointed in the fans for booing us out there. She looks into my eyes and can see the pain and unsureness in them. Even though she is in pain, she places her hands on my shoulders and continues to look me straight in the eyes, giving off a "It will all be fine. They will get over it. They're just disappointed." look. To that I respond...]
“I truly do hope so Selena. I REALLY want to believe that."
[I remember seeing her mouth the words "I know you do", before she excused herself. And then the image of her washed away...]
[Washing away... Something that I don't want to have happen to my adoration for the fans. I don't want to have a reason to be angry or even disappointed in them. It's just not a good feeling. So I guess... maybe that's my motivation. To make sure that NO ONE is disappointed tomorrow night, regardless of the outcome between Aaron and myself.]
[Sigh. It’s not going to be easy. Honestly though, it never has been.]
DATE: Sunday, April 5, 2020
TIME: 9:31 PM CDT
CITY: Mexico City, Mexico
LOCATION: Hotel Gym Room
[I have just gotten done riding one of the bikes in the room and that has gotten the blood flowing in my legs and in my heart. I have definitely earned myself a breather, and right now I’m thinking about calling Martha. She made it clear last time that she was worried, but I don’t know. I don’t want to worry her more about SCW goings-on, when she is doing her absolute best with Sarah Vixen, definitely being a wonderful mother, and wife of course. With what’s going on in the world, I just want the two of them to stay safe. So maybe that’s not the best course of action. I do feel kind of bad for driving through Dallas and not stopping off to see my cousin though, but then again she is undoubtedly doing her best to stay isolated with Craig and their child. So once again, much like this past Wednesday night, I’m all alone. Once again, I’m unsure of what happens next. I will say this. I again... I just feel... exhausted...]
[I start to shake the cobwebs out as I find myself on the floor, still here at the gym. I go to get up, but as I do, I hear a familiar female voice from the past, one that belongs to a young woman who has since passed on from this world.]
“Now I know I’m dreaming. Sparkle? You passed away all those years ago...”
“Yes. I did. But you need me, now more than ever. Jay, I know SCW is nothing like what it used to be. But you need to be there, not just for yourself, and for Martha, and for your daughter... but for those who care.”
“I know, but-”
“Mmm. Jay. Look, I know we had our moments years ago too, but if you remember deeper into those times, you needed me to keep you from losing it. It’s why I’ve come to you now. I’m not here to toy with your emotions or anything, but please, don’t lose it. Sure SCW is a drama-fest now, but you can do your best along with sooo many others to minimize that and make it all about the wrestling. I have always had faith in you. And even if you don’t want to take it from me, your daughter and your Martha have always had faith in you, and will continue to do so. They love you. As a friend, I love you. While it may not seem like it now, the fans do still love you. Don’t let one bad moment get to you. It’s what the Gavins, and Siennas, and Syrens of the world want.”
[She pauses. I look around the room with my eyes to see if I can see her. But she is nowhere to be seen. Only her spirit is here.]
“I unfortunately have to go, but please keep in mind everything I’ve told you. We all believe in you Jay. Do what must be done when it comes time to do it. SCW will then thrive fully once again, with no drama and antics blocking its way...”
[Her voice fades and I just kneel down on the floor before my eyes close once again.]
[I now feel water being splashed on my face. I slowly sit up and shake my head from side to side.]
“Whoa, what the hell?!”
[I look around and see a female hotel employee and a female EMT above me and looking down at me. The EMT speaks.]
“It looks like you blacked out sir. Did you perhaps overdo it while exercising?”
“Um, I don’t think so. I’ve just had a full mind, that’s all. I’m fine. I think I’ll head up to my room. I have a lot to process. Thanks for that, I guess.”
“You still look a little flushed. I’ll assist you to your room and make sure you are fully okay before I go. Thank you for finding him.”
[The hotel employee nods and scampers off, probably needing to get back to what she was doing prior to finding me. The EMT grabs my things and escorts me carefully to the elevator which is nearby. At least my room is right by the elevator on the third floor. This is where she brings me. She doesn’t stay for long as she once again checks my face to see that it is regaining color. I thank her and she departs. At this point I’m not taking any chances. I lay down on the bed and just lay there until my eyes get tired enough to drift off to sleep. As it seems to be these days, it doesn’t come easy.]
DATE: Tuesday, April 7, 2020
TIME: 11:53 PM CDT
CITY: Mexico City, Mexico
LOCATION: Outside Palacio de los Deportes
[This is not like me, being out here on the streets at night. Then again, I just haven’t felt like my usual self as of late. And for that I am in a way sorry, but it does seem like many around me are a reason for it. Gavin Taylor and Ava St. Claire... two reasons for it. Sasha’s decision-making sometimes... a reason for it. Though the biggest one is definitely the current state of SCW. My opponent Aaron Blackbourne knows exactly what I speak of, as he is just embroiled in a state of uncertainty as I am. For that, I wanted to wait until long after night had fallen, so I would be out here... alone... with no one gathered near me, in order to speak towards Aaron. It’s how I’ve felt for the last little while anyways... alone.]
“This is not where I thought I would be. These are not thoughts that I ever thought I’d have. Yet here I am and here we are. Tomorrow night I have to take on yet another fellow respected comrade in you Aaron. Honestly, I don’t feel like we should be having this match tomorrow night. There are just SO many people on this roster that need to have their eyes opened. They need to eat their slices of humble pie. Yet here are all of us whom respect this business, respect SCW, and respect one another... fighting one another. You and me. Owen and Kelsai. I know once in a while it is refreshing to face someone that gets it, but to me Aaron, I just don’t know. I guess I’m just getting sick and tired of seeing the Siennas and Syrens and the Chris Cannons of the world getting what they want, only having to compete when THEY want to. This is NOT a slight against you. Not at all. It’s just... I’m not in the right mindset right now Aaron. When Selena and I took that fall last week, it hit me, like a ton of bricks. And it hit Selena too. We knew we were both hurt and could not continue in that moment. The reason why I don’t think it’s right that we are facing each other here tomorrow night is that I’m scared Aaron. Forget about me. But I’m scared it could happen to YOU. I don’t want anything bad to happen to anyone who deserves to see success. You ALMOST became the SCW World Champion against James Evans, and next time that opportunity arises, I have the utmost confidence in you... that you will get over that hump and get that championship.”
[I pause and sigh. I know I should be motivated. I am at least facing someone that I can and do respect.]
“Thus I’m going to make sure this is not some bloody affair. This should ONLY be a wrestling classic between two men, one of whom has been to the top of the SCW mountain, and one who WILL be at the top of the SCW mountain. If I see at any moment that you are hurt, I will feel like crap, as you won’t have deserved it at all. That’s just how I am Aaron. As much as this match does mean to your near-future career path and for mine, it is NOT worth killing ourselves just for the enjoyment of those who clearly don’t care for either of us! Shilo for one being you brought him up. Gavin who only cares about himself. The fans who just want the blood, guts and gore... I really truly hope they don’t boo again when they don’t get it. I... I guess Aaron... I’ve never been so unsure of myself in my whole career. I guess I was hoping to come back and help the future of SCW, but clearly all that is happening is being pitted against that future... while those who deserve to have their butts kicked get to sit on the sidelines and laugh it up. I would hope Aaron that all of them would learn from watching us wrestle against one another, but you and I both already know that they won’t, because they are getting exactly what they want. They are getting an SCW where they can be complacent and instead get by on entertainment, dramatics, smoke, and mirrors.”
“It saddens me. Even so, I WILL give you everything I have tomorrow night Aaron, because you deserve that, just like Selena did. After it’s over between us though Aaron, I will be doing some serious thinking, because I have heard the rumblings. I have heard that maybe, just maybe, I shouldn’t be here. Considering the future of SCW in the hands of great wrestlers like yourself, like Selena, like Owen, like Kelsai, like Peyton? That’s the SCW I want to be a part of. This “2020 SCW” as it is right now, all the naysayers I think are right, I don’t belong in this SCW. But here’s the thing...”
“I don’t WANT to be a part of THIS SCW. That’s why it’s time for change. Regardless of who wins between us tomorrow night Aaron, I hope we can band together so SCW can move on to a much brighter future, one that we wholeheartedly deserve... one that the whole world should get to see.”
DATE: Tuesday, April 7, 2020
TIME: 7:53 PM CDT
CITY: Mexico City, Mexico
LOCATION: Hotel Room
[To be honest, I am not feeling motivated at all right now. Not one bit. All I'm feeling is disappointment. A lot of you out there will of course point your fingers right at me at this current moment of time, because of what has recently happened. From me picking Xander Valentine for the Trios Tournament, to losing a hard-fought contest against Gavin Taylor where he had to take a liberty in order to get the job done, and to finally not wanting to continue in the match against Selena Frost, when the feelings between her and myself were mutual. We were both hurt. We both in that moment agreed that we could continue this at some other time, which was a very respectful decision to make between us.]
[So, why am I feeling disappointment? For the first time in my wrestling career, I'm disappointed with the fans out there. They booed when not a single one of them had a reason to do so. Trust me, it hurt, just as much as my shoulder and upper arm. After I left to the back that night, I tried to get a hold of Selena backstage, but opted against it when I got to her door and could hear that she was busy. I went back to my own locker room and feeling quite tired, conked right out on the couch. What I saw next was a vivid image that I just can't forget...]
[I could see Selena coming down the hallway towards me, holding her own arm and wincing, just like I'm doing. I take her aside and immediately tell her the truth, that I am disappointed in the fans for booing us out there. She looks into my eyes and can see the pain and unsureness in them. Even though she is in pain, she places her hands on my shoulders and continues to look me straight in the eyes, giving off a "It will all be fine. They will get over it. They're just disappointed." look. To that I respond...]
“I truly do hope so Selena. I REALLY want to believe that."
[I remember seeing her mouth the words "I know you do", before she excused herself. And then the image of her washed away...]
[Washing away... Something that I don't want to have happen to my adoration for the fans. I don't want to have a reason to be angry or even disappointed in them. It's just not a good feeling. So I guess... maybe that's my motivation. To make sure that NO ONE is disappointed tomorrow night, regardless of the outcome between Aaron and myself.]
[Sigh. It’s not going to be easy. Honestly though, it never has been.]
DATE: Sunday, April 5, 2020
TIME: 9:31 PM CDT
CITY: Mexico City, Mexico
LOCATION: Hotel Gym Room
[I have just gotten done riding one of the bikes in the room and that has gotten the blood flowing in my legs and in my heart. I have definitely earned myself a breather, and right now I’m thinking about calling Martha. She made it clear last time that she was worried, but I don’t know. I don’t want to worry her more about SCW goings-on, when she is doing her absolute best with Sarah Vixen, definitely being a wonderful mother, and wife of course. With what’s going on in the world, I just want the two of them to stay safe. So maybe that’s not the best course of action. I do feel kind of bad for driving through Dallas and not stopping off to see my cousin though, but then again she is undoubtedly doing her best to stay isolated with Craig and their child. So once again, much like this past Wednesday night, I’m all alone. Once again, I’m unsure of what happens next. I will say this. I again... I just feel... exhausted...]
[I start to shake the cobwebs out as I find myself on the floor, still here at the gym. I go to get up, but as I do, I hear a familiar female voice from the past, one that belongs to a young woman who has since passed on from this world.]
“Now I know I’m dreaming. Sparkle? You passed away all those years ago...”
“Yes. I did. But you need me, now more than ever. Jay, I know SCW is nothing like what it used to be. But you need to be there, not just for yourself, and for Martha, and for your daughter... but for those who care.”
“I know, but-”
“Mmm. Jay. Look, I know we had our moments years ago too, but if you remember deeper into those times, you needed me to keep you from losing it. It’s why I’ve come to you now. I’m not here to toy with your emotions or anything, but please, don’t lose it. Sure SCW is a drama-fest now, but you can do your best along with sooo many others to minimize that and make it all about the wrestling. I have always had faith in you. And even if you don’t want to take it from me, your daughter and your Martha have always had faith in you, and will continue to do so. They love you. As a friend, I love you. While it may not seem like it now, the fans do still love you. Don’t let one bad moment get to you. It’s what the Gavins, and Siennas, and Syrens of the world want.”
[She pauses. I look around the room with my eyes to see if I can see her. But she is nowhere to be seen. Only her spirit is here.]
“I unfortunately have to go, but please keep in mind everything I’ve told you. We all believe in you Jay. Do what must be done when it comes time to do it. SCW will then thrive fully once again, with no drama and antics blocking its way...”
[Her voice fades and I just kneel down on the floor before my eyes close once again.]
[I now feel water being splashed on my face. I slowly sit up and shake my head from side to side.]
“Whoa, what the hell?!”
[I look around and see a female hotel employee and a female EMT above me and looking down at me. The EMT speaks.]
“It looks like you blacked out sir. Did you perhaps overdo it while exercising?”
“Um, I don’t think so. I’ve just had a full mind, that’s all. I’m fine. I think I’ll head up to my room. I have a lot to process. Thanks for that, I guess.”
“You still look a little flushed. I’ll assist you to your room and make sure you are fully okay before I go. Thank you for finding him.”
[The hotel employee nods and scampers off, probably needing to get back to what she was doing prior to finding me. The EMT grabs my things and escorts me carefully to the elevator which is nearby. At least my room is right by the elevator on the third floor. This is where she brings me. She doesn’t stay for long as she once again checks my face to see that it is regaining color. I thank her and she departs. At this point I’m not taking any chances. I lay down on the bed and just lay there until my eyes get tired enough to drift off to sleep. As it seems to be these days, it doesn’t come easy.]
DATE: Tuesday, April 7, 2020
TIME: 11:53 PM CDT
CITY: Mexico City, Mexico
LOCATION: Outside Palacio de los Deportes
[This is not like me, being out here on the streets at night. Then again, I just haven’t felt like my usual self as of late. And for that I am in a way sorry, but it does seem like many around me are a reason for it. Gavin Taylor and Ava St. Claire... two reasons for it. Sasha’s decision-making sometimes... a reason for it. Though the biggest one is definitely the current state of SCW. My opponent Aaron Blackbourne knows exactly what I speak of, as he is just embroiled in a state of uncertainty as I am. For that, I wanted to wait until long after night had fallen, so I would be out here... alone... with no one gathered near me, in order to speak towards Aaron. It’s how I’ve felt for the last little while anyways... alone.]
“This is not where I thought I would be. These are not thoughts that I ever thought I’d have. Yet here I am and here we are. Tomorrow night I have to take on yet another fellow respected comrade in you Aaron. Honestly, I don’t feel like we should be having this match tomorrow night. There are just SO many people on this roster that need to have their eyes opened. They need to eat their slices of humble pie. Yet here are all of us whom respect this business, respect SCW, and respect one another... fighting one another. You and me. Owen and Kelsai. I know once in a while it is refreshing to face someone that gets it, but to me Aaron, I just don’t know. I guess I’m just getting sick and tired of seeing the Siennas and Syrens and the Chris Cannons of the world getting what they want, only having to compete when THEY want to. This is NOT a slight against you. Not at all. It’s just... I’m not in the right mindset right now Aaron. When Selena and I took that fall last week, it hit me, like a ton of bricks. And it hit Selena too. We knew we were both hurt and could not continue in that moment. The reason why I don’t think it’s right that we are facing each other here tomorrow night is that I’m scared Aaron. Forget about me. But I’m scared it could happen to YOU. I don’t want anything bad to happen to anyone who deserves to see success. You ALMOST became the SCW World Champion against James Evans, and next time that opportunity arises, I have the utmost confidence in you... that you will get over that hump and get that championship.”
[I pause and sigh. I know I should be motivated. I am at least facing someone that I can and do respect.]
“Thus I’m going to make sure this is not some bloody affair. This should ONLY be a wrestling classic between two men, one of whom has been to the top of the SCW mountain, and one who WILL be at the top of the SCW mountain. If I see at any moment that you are hurt, I will feel like crap, as you won’t have deserved it at all. That’s just how I am Aaron. As much as this match does mean to your near-future career path and for mine, it is NOT worth killing ourselves just for the enjoyment of those who clearly don’t care for either of us! Shilo for one being you brought him up. Gavin who only cares about himself. The fans who just want the blood, guts and gore... I really truly hope they don’t boo again when they don’t get it. I... I guess Aaron... I’ve never been so unsure of myself in my whole career. I guess I was hoping to come back and help the future of SCW, but clearly all that is happening is being pitted against that future... while those who deserve to have their butts kicked get to sit on the sidelines and laugh it up. I would hope Aaron that all of them would learn from watching us wrestle against one another, but you and I both already know that they won’t, because they are getting exactly what they want. They are getting an SCW where they can be complacent and instead get by on entertainment, dramatics, smoke, and mirrors.”
“It saddens me. Even so, I WILL give you everything I have tomorrow night Aaron, because you deserve that, just like Selena did. After it’s over between us though Aaron, I will be doing some serious thinking, because I have heard the rumblings. I have heard that maybe, just maybe, I shouldn’t be here. Considering the future of SCW in the hands of great wrestlers like yourself, like Selena, like Owen, like Kelsai, like Peyton? That’s the SCW I want to be a part of. This “2020 SCW” as it is right now, all the naysayers I think are right, I don’t belong in this SCW. But here’s the thing...”
“I don’t WANT to be a part of THIS SCW. That’s why it’s time for change. Regardless of who wins between us tomorrow night Aaron, I hope we can band together so SCW can move on to a much brighter future, one that we wholeheartedly deserve... one that the whole world should get to see.”