09-18-2020, 07:18 PM
OOC: Best of luck Randy and enjoy everyone!
The following story you are about to read, although incredibly obnoxious and ridiculous is based upon actual events. The characters in the story though utterly dense are not being harmed by anyone unless it is The Chuke, but that can happen when you go on a three day bender that lasts an entire summer. Fun right? You better believe that it is fun! Anyway, enjoy the show!
They say that you will never forget your first time don’t they? For our unlikely hero, The Chuke AKA Charles AKA the person writing this narrative for everyone because sometimes he just needs something to write that isn’t so damn serious, we have had a few instances of “first” haven’t we?
The first time that The Chuke fell in love….it is with wrestling
The first time that The Chuke was ever called The Chuke….it was while he was wrestling
The first time that The Chuke was in a threesome….it had NOTHING to due with wrestling
The first time that The Chuke drank a flat on quarter draught night….what’s wrestling?
But the one first that we have never discussed is the first time that The Chuke fell in love, and it was not about wrestling at all. In fact, though she ended up watching it with Charles regularly it was just so she could make fun of it, because Lacey thought that wrestling was *gasp* fake! Normally Charles would want nothing to do with such a woman, but there was just something different about Lacey, and he knew it from the first time that he met her. He met while he was at the employee bar, which if you are thinking that this starting to sound like it is not that different from the way Charles met a lot of people in the summer of 1997, well you wouldn’t be mistaken in that.
Still, Lacey was different from all of those other people and Charles not only knew that she was different; he knew that immediately. Lacey looked like she should be a supermodel or a movie star actress with her long blonde hair spilling everywhere over her 5’ 8” frame and she played with explosives for a living, how cool was that? Lacey didn’t even care that Charles was three sheets to the wind when they first met (Wasn’t he always three sheets to the wind that summer?), in fact she thought he was genuinely funny despite the fact she was perfectly sober. Out there on the dance floor where Charles had been watching her for a while before even getting the courage to go up to her, he could have sworn that Lacey was an angel on earth.
23 years later if you were to ask him about it now, Charles still believes that Lacey was an angel on earth. An angel on earth who he was lucky enough to accidentally say the first thing that came to mind when he did get the courage to walk up to her and say the last thing that a guy would want to say to a girl he is interested in talking to her for the first time.
As you might imagine, that did not turn out how you would expect either.
Charles: (Bumping into the girl he has been watching for hours now as she turns around) “I think I love you!”
Girl: (Smiles brightly) “What’s not to love?”
Charles: “Nothing at all. Can I drink you a buy?”
Girl: (Laughing) “You’re funny. I’m drinking tonight though, so no thank you.”
Charles: (Getting close enough to whisper to her) “Would you believe that I am drinking tonight?”
Girl: (Laughs louder) “Isn’t every night a night that you drink, Charles?”
Charles: (Thinks for a moment) “I don’t drink on days that don’t end in y.”
Girl: (Laughs even more) “Exactly.”
Charles: (Thinks even more) “You know my name. Why did you know my name?”
Girl: “Because girls are smart Charles, we know things!”
Charles stood on the dance floor and looked at the girl with his mouth agape. What was he supposed to think. Was this mystery girl correct, and did girls really know things that guys did not? Who even was this girl to begin with, was she actually an angel on earth and that was how she knew things, because they were things that the almighty had told, things that she now use to confuse Charles, not that it would take much by this point. While Charles was thinking about all of this, he and the girl head over to a nearby table so that they could sit down. The girl was laughing harder still as she watched Charles try to wrestle with these important questions until she finally started to give him some answers.
Girl: “Charles, I’m Lacey. It’s nice to finally meet you.”
Charles: (Looking at her skeptically) “Lacey, if that is your real name, do I know you?”
Lacey: “Why yes, I just introduced myself silly.”
Charles: “You know what I mean.”
Lacey: “Alright, alright I don’t know you, know you per se, but I have heard a lot about you. I am your roommate Alex’s new friend.”
Charles' eyes bug out slowly, finally realizing what Lacy is talking about now and who she is.
Charles: “You are that Lacey!”
Lacey: (Laughing again) “Guilty as charged sir. How are you?”
Charles: “I am doing pretty well. I just never realize that Alex’s friend was such a stunner.”
Lacey: “Charles, you can quit trying to pick me up now that you know who I am alright? Alex might not like it too much if I tell him you were hitting on me tonight.”
It could be the second pitcher of Alabama Slammers that he was quickly drinking his way through, but Charles was not backing off something he could see that he wanted.
Charles: “I thought that you and Alex were just friends?”
Lacey: “Charles, you are drunk, but I don’t think you are stupid alright? Alex and I are “friends” got it?”
Air quotes and wink later and Charles realized what Lacey meant, but he still was drunk enough that he didn’t really care.
Charles: “Maybe Alex should stop having such gorgeous friends around all of the time then.”
Lacey cocked her one eyebrow.
Lacey: “What do you mean by gorgeous friends, Charles?”
Realizing his mistake, Charles tries to change the subject pretty quickly, knowing that Alex was out with a different girl tonight, something that he is very aware that Lacey probably did not know, and he did not want to cause a disagreement between him and Alex.
Charles: “Do you know that I have had almost two pitchers of Alabama Slammers tonight already and I am about to go get a third?”
Lacey was having none of it however, though she was trying a different approach.
Lacey: “No, you are not?”
Charles: “I’m not.”
Lacey: “No. You are going to take me out on the dance floor and dance with me. You do know Lady in Red, right?”
Suddenly Charles is becoming very worried.
Charles: “Ummmm…. that is a slow song.”
Lacey: “So, you don’t know how to dance to slow songs?”
Charles: “Alex might not like it very much if I were dancing with you to a slow song.”
Lacey: “Look you were watching me for over three hours before you knew who I was. So what if Alex does not like it? Let’s go, unless you are really worried about being loyal to Alex who I am guessing is probably with another one of his gorgeous friends right now, am I correct?”
With that, Charles and Lacey went out to the dance floor and started dancing together. Lacey had her head on Charles’s shoulder which Charles thought was amazing when Lacey whispered softly to him.
Lacey: “Has anybody ever to you that you are a really great dancer?”
Charles thought for a minute carefully.
Charles: “No actually, nobody ever has.”
Lacey: “Good. I think you are a really sweet guy from everything that Alex has told me about you so I was going to be really pissed off if someone was lying to you.”
Charles: “Oh, what do you mean?”
Lacey: “Sweetheart, you can’t dance unless you are just too drunk to notice. You have been standing on my foot since we started.”
Charles: (Moving his feet) “Oh my gosh, I am so sorry.”
Lacey: (Giggles) “It’s okay, let’s get out of here.”
Charles: “Okay.”
So Lacey and Charles left the bar. It was almost two o’clock in the morning anyway which meant that the two of them were going to be leaving the bar soon anyway, for it was almost closing time. Riding in Lacey’s convertible, it doesn’t take long before Lacey and Charles are in the parking lot out front of some very expensive looking apartments.
Charles: “Where are we?”
Lacey: “We are outside my apartment.”
Charles: “Cedar Point is paying for this apartment for you?”
Lacey: “Heavens no, they would never pay for this. The company I work for, Rock Creek, they are the company that pays for this.”
Charles: “That makes more sense. How much does it cost them?”
Lacey: “$1400 a month.”
Charles: “Get the fuck out of here!”
Lacey: (Laughing again) “No really, $1400 a month. They make sure that we are well taken care of while we are here.”
Charles: “You can say that again.”
Lacey: “They make sure that we are well taken care of while we are here.”
Charles: “Very funny, smart ass.”
Lacey: “Rather be a smart ass then a dumb ass.”
Charles: “Either way, there is nothing wrong with that ass.”
Lacey looks at Charles invitingly.
Lacey: “It is a nice ass, don’t you think?
Charles begins to sweat, and not just from all of the liquor he has been drinking.
Charles: “Ummmm yeah, it is very nice ass I guess.”
Lacey: “You guess? You were looking at this ass for several hours. I am going to be very offended if you do not agree with me that it is a nice ass.”
Charles: “Very well, it’s an exquisite ass, how is that?”
Lacey: “See, that is more like it now, Charles.”
Before Charles can say anything else, he and Lacey are playing tonsil hockey. It starts to get very hot in the convertible with Lacey looking at Charles, smiling.
Lacey: “Charles, can I ask you a question?”
Charles: “Sure.”
Lacey: “It’s not really a question, I am going to give you two options. I know that you are pretty drunk. Can you decide between the two options?”
Charles: “I can try.”
Lacey: “Okay, option 1. We go out stairs to my very nice looking apartment and you can look at this very exquisite looking ass in the light.”
Charles: “I’m liking that option so far.”
Lacey: “I thought that you might. Just so you know right now, if you choose option 1, that is more than likely going to end with me fucking your brains out. After that we will have to act like this night never happened to all of your friends.”
Charles: “Including Alex?”
Lacey: “Especially Alex. He can never know that this night ever existed if you decide to choose option number 1. Do you understand?”
Charles: “Alright, I do understand. What is option number 2?”
Lacey: “Option number 2, we sit down here in the car and talk all night about everything that you can think of and I take you back to your apartment whenever you decide that you are tired and want to go to bed.”
Charles: “That’s not a bad option either. I really like talking to you too.”
Lacey: “I like talking to you, too. If you take this option, I really don’t know what will happen to us after tonight. I know that either way we are going to become great friends.”
Charles: “I would like to be your friend.”
Lacey: “Great friends.”
Charles stares deeply into Lacey’s eyes.
Charles: “Great friends.”
Lacey: “Right. However, at this point, I am going to need you to make a decision alright? Please choose wisely.”
Charles: “I think I love you.”
And now it is Lacey who is gasping.
Lacey: “And I think that I am flattered but that really should not be what you are saying to me right now, regardless of what choice that you are going to make.”
Charles: “I cannot help it and I am not just drunk. I think I love you and I think that it feels right too.”
Lacey: “Alright, so we are going upstairs then.”
Lacey opens her door but Charles reaches around her and shuts it.
Charles: “No, I choose option number 2.”
Lacey gives Charles a genuine smile
Lacey: “You surprise me Charles, really you do. You might make some things harder on me after this as well.”
Charles: “How might I make things harder on you Lacey?”
Lacey: “You just might, that’s all. That is for me to work out though on my own. So, what do you want to talk about?”
Charles: “Tell me what life was like growing up in Florida 22 years ago?”
Lacey: “22 years ago? Oh babe, I am 29.”
Charles: “You are 10 years older than me?!”
Lacey: (Laughing once more) “Yep.”
Charles: “And we could have gone upstairs?!”
Lacey: “Yes.”
Charles: “Can we still?”
Lacey: “Nah, neither one of us wants to now.”
Charles thinks for a minute.
Charles: “Yeah, you're right.”
Charles and Lacey talked until 10 o clock in the morning almost 8 hours later, after which Lacey did exactly what she said that she was going to do and dropped him off at his apartment. As he watched her convertible speed away Charles thought to himself silently…
Charles: “I know I love her, and someday that woman is going to be my wife.”
Legends of The Chuke
Volume 7
“I think I love you!”
Volume 7
“I think I love you!”
WARNING!!!
The following story you are about to read, although incredibly obnoxious and ridiculous is based upon actual events. The characters in the story though utterly dense are not being harmed by anyone unless it is The Chuke, but that can happen when you go on a three day bender that lasts an entire summer. Fun right? You better believe that it is fun! Anyway, enjoy the show!
They say that you will never forget your first time don’t they? For our unlikely hero, The Chuke AKA Charles AKA the person writing this narrative for everyone because sometimes he just needs something to write that isn’t so damn serious, we have had a few instances of “first” haven’t we?
The first time that The Chuke fell in love….it is with wrestling
The first time that The Chuke was ever called The Chuke….it was while he was wrestling
The first time that The Chuke was in a threesome….it had NOTHING to due with wrestling
The first time that The Chuke drank a flat on quarter draught night….what’s wrestling?
But the one first that we have never discussed is the first time that The Chuke fell in love, and it was not about wrestling at all. In fact, though she ended up watching it with Charles regularly it was just so she could make fun of it, because Lacey thought that wrestling was *gasp* fake! Normally Charles would want nothing to do with such a woman, but there was just something different about Lacey, and he knew it from the first time that he met her. He met while he was at the employee bar, which if you are thinking that this starting to sound like it is not that different from the way Charles met a lot of people in the summer of 1997, well you wouldn’t be mistaken in that.
Still, Lacey was different from all of those other people and Charles not only knew that she was different; he knew that immediately. Lacey looked like she should be a supermodel or a movie star actress with her long blonde hair spilling everywhere over her 5’ 8” frame and she played with explosives for a living, how cool was that? Lacey didn’t even care that Charles was three sheets to the wind when they first met (Wasn’t he always three sheets to the wind that summer?), in fact she thought he was genuinely funny despite the fact she was perfectly sober. Out there on the dance floor where Charles had been watching her for a while before even getting the courage to go up to her, he could have sworn that Lacey was an angel on earth.
23 years later if you were to ask him about it now, Charles still believes that Lacey was an angel on earth. An angel on earth who he was lucky enough to accidentally say the first thing that came to mind when he did get the courage to walk up to her and say the last thing that a guy would want to say to a girl he is interested in talking to her for the first time.
As you might imagine, that did not turn out how you would expect either.
Charles: (Bumping into the girl he has been watching for hours now as she turns around) “I think I love you!”
Girl: (Smiles brightly) “What’s not to love?”
Charles: “Nothing at all. Can I drink you a buy?”
Girl: (Laughing) “You’re funny. I’m drinking tonight though, so no thank you.”
Charles: (Getting close enough to whisper to her) “Would you believe that I am drinking tonight?”
Girl: (Laughs louder) “Isn’t every night a night that you drink, Charles?”
Charles: (Thinks for a moment) “I don’t drink on days that don’t end in y.”
Girl: (Laughs even more) “Exactly.”
Charles: (Thinks even more) “You know my name. Why did you know my name?”
Girl: “Because girls are smart Charles, we know things!”
Charles stood on the dance floor and looked at the girl with his mouth agape. What was he supposed to think. Was this mystery girl correct, and did girls really know things that guys did not? Who even was this girl to begin with, was she actually an angel on earth and that was how she knew things, because they were things that the almighty had told, things that she now use to confuse Charles, not that it would take much by this point. While Charles was thinking about all of this, he and the girl head over to a nearby table so that they could sit down. The girl was laughing harder still as she watched Charles try to wrestle with these important questions until she finally started to give him some answers.
Girl: “Charles, I’m Lacey. It’s nice to finally meet you.”
Charles: (Looking at her skeptically) “Lacey, if that is your real name, do I know you?”
Lacey: “Why yes, I just introduced myself silly.”
Charles: “You know what I mean.”
Lacey: “Alright, alright I don’t know you, know you per se, but I have heard a lot about you. I am your roommate Alex’s new friend.”
Charles' eyes bug out slowly, finally realizing what Lacy is talking about now and who she is.
Charles: “You are that Lacey!”
Lacey: (Laughing again) “Guilty as charged sir. How are you?”
Charles: “I am doing pretty well. I just never realize that Alex’s friend was such a stunner.”
Lacey: “Charles, you can quit trying to pick me up now that you know who I am alright? Alex might not like it too much if I tell him you were hitting on me tonight.”
It could be the second pitcher of Alabama Slammers that he was quickly drinking his way through, but Charles was not backing off something he could see that he wanted.
Charles: “I thought that you and Alex were just friends?”
Lacey: “Charles, you are drunk, but I don’t think you are stupid alright? Alex and I are “friends” got it?”
Air quotes and wink later and Charles realized what Lacey meant, but he still was drunk enough that he didn’t really care.
Charles: “Maybe Alex should stop having such gorgeous friends around all of the time then.”
Lacey cocked her one eyebrow.
Lacey: “What do you mean by gorgeous friends, Charles?”
Realizing his mistake, Charles tries to change the subject pretty quickly, knowing that Alex was out with a different girl tonight, something that he is very aware that Lacey probably did not know, and he did not want to cause a disagreement between him and Alex.
Charles: “Do you know that I have had almost two pitchers of Alabama Slammers tonight already and I am about to go get a third?”
Lacey was having none of it however, though she was trying a different approach.
Lacey: “No, you are not?”
Charles: “I’m not.”
Lacey: “No. You are going to take me out on the dance floor and dance with me. You do know Lady in Red, right?”
Suddenly Charles is becoming very worried.
Charles: “Ummmm…. that is a slow song.”
Lacey: “So, you don’t know how to dance to slow songs?”
Charles: “Alex might not like it very much if I were dancing with you to a slow song.”
Lacey: “Look you were watching me for over three hours before you knew who I was. So what if Alex does not like it? Let’s go, unless you are really worried about being loyal to Alex who I am guessing is probably with another one of his gorgeous friends right now, am I correct?”
With that, Charles and Lacey went out to the dance floor and started dancing together. Lacey had her head on Charles’s shoulder which Charles thought was amazing when Lacey whispered softly to him.
Lacey: “Has anybody ever to you that you are a really great dancer?”
Charles thought for a minute carefully.
Charles: “No actually, nobody ever has.”
Lacey: “Good. I think you are a really sweet guy from everything that Alex has told me about you so I was going to be really pissed off if someone was lying to you.”
Charles: “Oh, what do you mean?”
Lacey: “Sweetheart, you can’t dance unless you are just too drunk to notice. You have been standing on my foot since we started.”
Charles: (Moving his feet) “Oh my gosh, I am so sorry.”
Lacey: (Giggles) “It’s okay, let’s get out of here.”
Charles: “Okay.”
So Lacey and Charles left the bar. It was almost two o’clock in the morning anyway which meant that the two of them were going to be leaving the bar soon anyway, for it was almost closing time. Riding in Lacey’s convertible, it doesn’t take long before Lacey and Charles are in the parking lot out front of some very expensive looking apartments.
Charles: “Where are we?”
Lacey: “We are outside my apartment.”
Charles: “Cedar Point is paying for this apartment for you?”
Lacey: “Heavens no, they would never pay for this. The company I work for, Rock Creek, they are the company that pays for this.”
Charles: “That makes more sense. How much does it cost them?”
Lacey: “$1400 a month.”
Charles: “Get the fuck out of here!”
Lacey: (Laughing again) “No really, $1400 a month. They make sure that we are well taken care of while we are here.”
Charles: “You can say that again.”
Lacey: “They make sure that we are well taken care of while we are here.”
Charles: “Very funny, smart ass.”
Lacey: “Rather be a smart ass then a dumb ass.”
Charles: “Either way, there is nothing wrong with that ass.”
Lacey looks at Charles invitingly.
Lacey: “It is a nice ass, don’t you think?
Charles begins to sweat, and not just from all of the liquor he has been drinking.
Charles: “Ummmm yeah, it is very nice ass I guess.”
Lacey: “You guess? You were looking at this ass for several hours. I am going to be very offended if you do not agree with me that it is a nice ass.”
Charles: “Very well, it’s an exquisite ass, how is that?”
Lacey: “See, that is more like it now, Charles.”
Before Charles can say anything else, he and Lacey are playing tonsil hockey. It starts to get very hot in the convertible with Lacey looking at Charles, smiling.
Lacey: “Charles, can I ask you a question?”
Charles: “Sure.”
Lacey: “It’s not really a question, I am going to give you two options. I know that you are pretty drunk. Can you decide between the two options?”
Charles: “I can try.”
Lacey: “Okay, option 1. We go out stairs to my very nice looking apartment and you can look at this very exquisite looking ass in the light.”
Charles: “I’m liking that option so far.”
Lacey: “I thought that you might. Just so you know right now, if you choose option 1, that is more than likely going to end with me fucking your brains out. After that we will have to act like this night never happened to all of your friends.”
Charles: “Including Alex?”
Lacey: “Especially Alex. He can never know that this night ever existed if you decide to choose option number 1. Do you understand?”
Charles: “Alright, I do understand. What is option number 2?”
Lacey: “Option number 2, we sit down here in the car and talk all night about everything that you can think of and I take you back to your apartment whenever you decide that you are tired and want to go to bed.”
Charles: “That’s not a bad option either. I really like talking to you too.”
Lacey: “I like talking to you, too. If you take this option, I really don’t know what will happen to us after tonight. I know that either way we are going to become great friends.”
Charles: “I would like to be your friend.”
Lacey: “Great friends.”
Charles stares deeply into Lacey’s eyes.
Charles: “Great friends.”
Lacey: “Right. However, at this point, I am going to need you to make a decision alright? Please choose wisely.”
Charles: “I think I love you.”
And now it is Lacey who is gasping.
Lacey: “And I think that I am flattered but that really should not be what you are saying to me right now, regardless of what choice that you are going to make.”
Charles: “I cannot help it and I am not just drunk. I think I love you and I think that it feels right too.”
Lacey: “Alright, so we are going upstairs then.”
Lacey opens her door but Charles reaches around her and shuts it.
Charles: “No, I choose option number 2.”
Lacey gives Charles a genuine smile
Lacey: “You surprise me Charles, really you do. You might make some things harder on me after this as well.”
Charles: “How might I make things harder on you Lacey?”
Lacey: “You just might, that’s all. That is for me to work out though on my own. So, what do you want to talk about?”
Charles: “Tell me what life was like growing up in Florida 22 years ago?”
Lacey: “22 years ago? Oh babe, I am 29.”
Charles: “You are 10 years older than me?!”
Lacey: (Laughing once more) “Yep.”
Charles: “And we could have gone upstairs?!”
Lacey: “Yes.”
Charles: “Can we still?”
Lacey: “Nah, neither one of us wants to now.”
Charles thinks for a minute.
Charles: “Yeah, you're right.”
Charles and Lacey talked until 10 o clock in the morning almost 8 hours later, after which Lacey did exactly what she said that she was going to do and dropped him off at his apartment. As he watched her convertible speed away Charles thought to himself silently…
Charles: “I know I love her, and someday that woman is going to be my wife.”
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