Syren vs. Kimberly Williams

[The Matt]

2 of 2
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On Camera
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It is dusk, unviniting, and dreary at an undisclosed location. We are somewhere in the woods because the moonlight overhead is the lone source of light that we have currently. Ragged trees with branches that are empty, its leaves having fallen to the ground. This isn’t exactly your ideal camping location. Only the most adventurous of hikers might dare step through these woods. In fact, this is just the exact type of stereotypical creepy forest that you would expect to find in some B-Rate flasher flick. But the monster that these woods contains happens to be more dangerous than any iconic horror movie star that you can possibly think of. The pepper pot shaped Dalek rolls into view from stage right. No, the Dalek is not the deadly figure I speak of. In fact, the Dalek is too preoccupied right now with trying to win the heart of Kennedy Street (you can tell that based on the sign that is hanging from its eyestalk, a sign that reads “Marry me Keenie”. Dalek is also preoccupied with doing his job and his job right now is dragging a heavy load behind him. The hate-bot is dragging what appears to be a sleigh. Sitting in the sleigh is none other than “The Woman Scorned” Kimberly Williams. The deranged ginger is dressed in torn denim jeans, black boots, and a ‘Wasley The Penguin’ t-shirt. She has her MWE Chicago Way Championship title belt draped over her left shoulder and her newly won SCW Underground Championship title belt draped over her right shoulder.

“Ladies and gentlemen, I…” Kimberly starts to talk but unfortunately her toy robot isn’t stopping. The Dalek continues to drag Kimberly and the sleigh. “Hey! Wait a sec! Stop it!”

“NEGATIVE! WE MUST MAINTAIN THIS CURRENT PACE IF WE ARE TO MAKE IT TO THE SAP CENTER IN SAN JOSE CALIFORNIA FOR SCW BREAKDOWN!” The Dalek drags Kimberly and the sleigh off screen but we can still hear The Woman Scorned shouting at her robot friend.

“Listen to me you lovesick hate-bot, I’m taking a flight out to San Jose! It will take no time at all! Now if you don’t take me back there this instant I won’t give Kennedy your phone number!” Well, that threat was all it took. It isn’t long before the Dalek drags Kimberly and her sleigh back to front and center. Dalek stops. This time Williams exits the sleigh, just in case Dalek gets any funny ideas about leaving. She glares at Dalek. “Now you just wait right there! I have a few things to say to a certain no good bitch.”

“SYREN?!”

“Affirmative.” Kimberly rolls her eyes. “Now you got me doing that crap!”

“APOLOGIES!”

The Woman Scorned sighs. “See what I have to put up with? You can’t get good help these days, not even from a highly advanced drone that thinks it is a mutant hate-bot bent on galactic domination.

“I AM NOT A DRONE!”

“He is sensitive.” Kimberly explains in a hushed whisper. She smirks. “But you know what? I can’t blame him. I mean, for a long time I thought I was this sociopath, disconnected from my emotions and all that shit. But lately I have had this overwhelming sense of joy and satisfaction. I can just feel the love coming from the entire SCW locker room! You love me, you really love me! For starters, you recognized the legitimacy of my ongoing Underground Rules Match against Jordan Majors. Most would have just cast that aside as the ravings of a deranged lunatic. Admittedly I am a deranged lunatic and I do rave quite a bit, but you paid attention to me and you let me finish the match, even if it did take awhile! And on top of that, you let me and Jordan settle our differences inside of a steel cage and after I beat Jordan, you gave me this…” she pats the Underground Championship title belt that rests over her shoulder.

“...and this right here, along with my other fun hardcore bloodletting championship,” she pats the Chicago Way Title belt resting over her other shoulder “...cements my claim as the one and only Queen of the Underground and the one and only QUEEN OF THE DEATH MATCH! No one can deny my claims any longer and it is all thanks to you, SCW! I LOVE YOU!” Kimberly blows a kiss at the camera. Is she blowing a kiss at the SCW fans or at Cian O’Dywer? That’s hard to say. But someone got a kiss blown at them, that’s for sure!

“Oh but you didn’t stop showing your love. See as your Underground Death Queen I fully expected to be booked in some sort of death match against a homicidal maniac as bizarre as myself. But then I looked at the Breakdown card and lo and behold whose name do I see across from mine?” She kicks the Dalek. “Tell them, my hate-filled friend! Who do I fight on Breakdown?”

“SYREN! SYREN! SYREN! SYREN! SYREN! SYREN! SYREN! SYREN! SYREN! SYREN! SYREN! SYREN! SYREN! SYREN! SYREN!” Dalek keeps screeching repeatedly until Williams kicks it again and it stops.

“Shut up! I think they heard you the first five times!”

“APOLOGIES!”

“Anyway, yeah, I am facing Syren on Breakdown! Yay! Good for me! I get to face a legend! I get to face a superstar! I get to face the great Syren! Maybe I’ll get an autograph after I’m done maiming her?” Williams chuckles nastily and shakes her head. “Seriously, am I supposed to stand here in awe of her greatness? Am I supposed to bow down and worship at her altar?” A sinister glare forms on her face.

“I heard the cheers for Syren on Breakdown. I heard the cheers from Syren at Apocalypse. And it makes me sick to my god damn stomach. Aren’t you the same Syren that ran the anti-bullying campaign and yet, ironically enough, became a bully herself? Are we supposed to just forget that this is the same egomaniacal, manipulative, power hungry bitch who framed Kennedy Street for attempted vehicular assault years ago, damn near getting her fired? The same Syren that used the boss’s daughter to maintain an iron grip over the world championship through cheap tricks, chicanery, and manipulation? You’re the same Syren who acted like a spoiled bitch and refused to compete in matches if she didn’t get her way. And we’re supposed to forget about all of this because why? Because Asher gave her a fucking pile driver or two?” A fierce, hateful glare forms on Kimberly’s face.

“I have had my head bashed in with a damn lead pipe! I have rolled around in barbed wire! I have been electrocuted and set on fire! I am pretty fucking sure that is worse than a damn pile driver! Do you see me whining, bitching, and complaining? Do you see me seeking revenge because someone tried to end my damn career?” Williams shakes her head. “No. I sucked it up and I kept going. I kept fighting. But when it comes to the sweet, sensitive, beloved Syren we are supposed to forgive and forget, right?” The Woman Scorned shakes her head.

“I do not forgive and I damn sure do not forget! And I have had this little bit on my birthday and Christmas lists each and every year since I met your worthless ass. I played a small role in bringing down your and Katya’s dumbass regime at Retribution 2019 inside the Tactical Warfare Match and while that was at least somewhat satisfying, there was still so much more I wanted to do to you. And ever since then I have been on my knees praying to God above…” Williams drops to her knees “...Please God, let me fight Syren! And when that didn’t work I prayed to other deities! Please Buddha, let me fight Syren! Please Flying Spaghetti Monster, let me fight Syren! Please Majestic Furry Cat God, LET ME TEAR SYREN’S FUCKING HEAD OFF!”

The SCW Underground Champion rises back to her feet. An evil, sinister laugh escapes her lips. “But now finally I got my early Christmas gift! Finally I get my one on one match against you, Syren! And it came at just the right time for me, because I am on a roll. I just became the SCW Underground Champion. But this match came at the worst possible time for you, because it took me going to the darkest, most sinister part of my soul to become Underground Champion. And as you should know, since you once worked with me in the past…assuming you remember that…you do remember me, don’t you bitch? But anyway, as you should know, I was already deadly enough. Now I am even more violent, more deadly, and more dangerous.”

Williams chuckles. “Y’know, supposedly it is the new fad these days to quote Batman movies! So how about this quote for ya, Syren? You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain. You were a hero, you showed everyone your true colors and became the villain. Now somehow you’ve got a lot of people deluded into thinking you are a hero again.” She shakes her head. “You don’t have me fooled. You are no hero, Syren. In fact, the truth of the matter is that between you and me, I am the real hero and you are the villain. People may call me a psychopath but I call you a sociopath because of who you are and what you have done. A leopard does NOT change its spots and you do NOT get to rewrite history. You are every bit a monster as I am. But you get cheered by the fans now. Even the cleanest of clean cut heroes like Selena Frost are seemingly buddy-buddy with you nowadays. And why? Just because you hate Asher, and they hate Asher too? If that’s their reason for cheering you then they are stupid. And if that makes me the villain in our upcoming battle on Breakdown then so be it. I never cared about my reputation. I never cared what people think about me. So if I become the worst human being on the face of the earth because I did what Asher Hayes could not do at Taking Hold of the Flame, if I become the most hated person by ending your god damn career, then I will just wear that like a badge of honor. I will take pride in knowing that your blood will be on my hands you worthless bitch. So know this, Syren…in San Jose, I am going to tear you apart!”

Williams climbs back on the sleigh. “Let us be gone, Dalek!”

“AFFIRMATIVE! ONWARD TO SAN JOSE! ONWARD TO EXTERMINATE SYREN! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!” Dalek drags Kimberly and the sleigh off screen. The scene fades to black.