01-23-2020, 11:15 AM
I know I still have two and a half days or so left to write for the PPV. I have two characters who I have been fortunate enough to be getting a lot of attention from the bossman... This post isn't saying that I'm stepping away or that I'm taking another break, more that chances are I'm going to fairly flaky moving forward for a little while (hopefully just a little while).
I currently have 2/3 of a RP done for one character and nil for another. I have plans, ideas, and even sometimes a bouts of motivation; however, the only time I've found to dedicate to writing is on the weekends. I can only write a few hundreds words a week night at best. Reasoning? I've been struggling with energy and to be honest, I'm sleeping 10+ hours a day and by the time I get home from a work, even a very easy day, I'm mentally and physically exhausted. I barely can scrap enough energy to watch an television episode before I turn in... my physician believes it might be a side effect of the drug regimen I'm on for my bipolar depression. Initially, the meds helped, but now I'm starting to falter and in some ways, differently from before. I'm suffering from bouts of extreme anxiety and paranoia (like completely irrational shit like thinking that my morning commute will end up with me dead or that they're going to fire me at work despite not having any telltale signs). We've in the process of now switching my medication to something else and I'm getting referred for more in-depth psychiatric treatment.
I'm staring at the deadline, seeing my progress towards completion isn't what I want. I don't hate most of my work I produced for this cycle, but it's not right. I really only have until 8PM Friday because my best friend's coming to town for the weekend. Unless some miraculous burst of energy blesses me tonight, I doubt I have everything completed. I would have started earlier but last week I was basically bedridden with illness. Excuses but really made me think that right now I'm going through transition that I have no idea how my mind and body is going to react to. Right now, I'm not really up to snuff to put myself into the position to write anything serious and competitive. Both these matches I have, have meaning for me and not to be able to approach them is bothering me.
Apologies to Omar, Matt, and Oleks as all three deserve better.
I currently have 2/3 of a RP done for one character and nil for another. I have plans, ideas, and even sometimes a bouts of motivation; however, the only time I've found to dedicate to writing is on the weekends. I can only write a few hundreds words a week night at best. Reasoning? I've been struggling with energy and to be honest, I'm sleeping 10+ hours a day and by the time I get home from a work, even a very easy day, I'm mentally and physically exhausted. I barely can scrap enough energy to watch an television episode before I turn in... my physician believes it might be a side effect of the drug regimen I'm on for my bipolar depression. Initially, the meds helped, but now I'm starting to falter and in some ways, differently from before. I'm suffering from bouts of extreme anxiety and paranoia (like completely irrational shit like thinking that my morning commute will end up with me dead or that they're going to fire me at work despite not having any telltale signs). We've in the process of now switching my medication to something else and I'm getting referred for more in-depth psychiatric treatment.
I'm staring at the deadline, seeing my progress towards completion isn't what I want. I don't hate most of my work I produced for this cycle, but it's not right. I really only have until 8PM Friday because my best friend's coming to town for the weekend. Unless some miraculous burst of energy blesses me tonight, I doubt I have everything completed. I would have started earlier but last week I was basically bedridden with illness. Excuses but really made me think that right now I'm going through transition that I have no idea how my mind and body is going to react to. Right now, I'm not really up to snuff to put myself into the position to write anything serious and competitive. Both these matches I have, have meaning for me and not to be able to approach them is bothering me.
Apologies to Omar, Matt, and Oleks as all three deserve better.