05-05-2020, 11:58 PM
OOC- Good luck everyone!
Smoothie King Center, backstage
New Orleans, Louisiana
Sunday, April 19th, 2020
Great, more bullshit.
I know that is not what people are used to hearing from me, and they never will either, or at least not very often as I try to use my words very carefully. There is great power with words, something that I learned very early in life. Words are a lot like the Robert Frost poem "The Road Not Taken". In the poem Frost comes upon two divergent roads, one that is taken regularly by numerous people and one that is taken less often and less individuals. Words are similar to the poem in that we can either choose words that everyone expects to hear from us or we can go down the road less traveled and use words that people do not expect us to use. I tend to take the road that people expect me to take with what words that I am going to use.
So, normally I would never use the word "bullshit" and honestly you will still never hear me say it aloud. Parents look to me as a role model for their children, something that I thoroughly enjoy mind you, but because of this I need to make certain that I am using words that parents would want their children to use. Children look up to me, so if I say "bullshit" then it must be alright for a child to say to, correct? No, it's not alright, and while I realize that other athletes and celebrities don't care about the image that they project outwardly, even some have gone as far as to say that are not role models, I do not agree, and so I watch what I say because I know that other people do.
However, I can certainly think to myself that something is bullshit. Like an adoption agency representative suggesting that Victor and I may not be ready or willing to bring a child into our lives. Or how about the way Thomas Valentine and Kandis chose to mock and ridicule me because I believe in love and show that love to other people every chance that I get? Yeah, that absolutely was and is bullshit. Look, I know that my values are not the same as your average, everyday person, but I do not deserve to be marginalized because of this. That is why I wanted to win so badly at Cold Blooded too, because I wanted to make a point that Thomas, Kandis, or anyone else that my values matter and even if you don't agree with me, you should respect me. It really is not too much to ask.
Unfortunately though, Blake and I were not able to win that match and become the SCW World Tag Team Champions. Now after coming backstage to our locker rooms it looks like both Blake and Amy want to discuss the match. More bullshit because talking about the match is the last thing that I want to do right now, though it doesn't seem like I am going to be given a choice with Blake sliding over next to me on the bench and putting his arm around me.
Blake: "I apologize for what happened out there. I should have been better prepared for that match. Tommy and Kandis have been a team for a while now and they took advantage of the fact that we have not."
I shrug, not even looking up at him. I appreciate what I can tell he is doing right now, and it is noble, trying to shoulder the blame for our loss, but he is not the one who hasn't won a match in SCW in over a month.
Kelsai: "Don't apologize. You win some and you lose some, right?"
Blake: "Sure, that is true, but I the veteran and I was supposed to the leader in this instance. This one is on me, and I don't want you feeling any different. You were great out there, sister."
Yeah, I was great out there Blake, no problem. I was especially great at taking the pinfall. I have become an expert on how to do that recently. I will say this, at least my head is down so that you can't see the fact that I am rolling my eyes right now.
Kelsai: "Thanks."
Amy has been pacing back and forth since we got back to the locker room, I can tell because I can see her shoes in front of me. This is usually a sign that Amy is about to speak, and of course Amy does not leave me disappointed in that regard.
Amy: "I really think that the two of you need to be careful with how place blame for that match. A tag team match is a different animal as opposed to singles competition.”
Blake: "I just really do not want my sister taking any of the blame on herself. We will get another opportunity to go after the belts, and when we do, I will be better prepared for it."
Amy: But you need to function as one, a cohesive unit, something that the two are lacking in experience at this point. There is bound to be a learning curve because of that. There is no need for either one of you to be down on yourself for any reason."
It could just be them pounding that I took during the match that has me with such a giant-sized headache, but I just cannot take any more discussion about the match because I am about to scream. I look up at both my brother and my mentor.
Kelsai: "I know that the two of want to discuss what happened out there during the match, but I don't want to talk about, and in fact I am not going to talk about it right now, period."
Knowing me as both of them do, I can bet that is the last thing that either one of them was expecting from me at this point, but I could not have really cared less honestly. Amy is staring, trying to study my face for some sort of an expression while Blake just sounds both shocked and concerned.
Blake: "Is everything alright Kelsai?"
My voice came out sounding sharper than I intended, which is awful when you considered that I was feeling quiet tense at the moment. I looked at Blake again, my frustration mounting.
Kelsai: "Blake, I am fine, everything is fine, I just don't want to talk about our match, so I am not going to do it. This is non-negotiable."
At this point I did something that I never do, turning away Blake and Amy and staring at the wall. I think that Blake got the idea as he got up from the bench, though he kept his hand on my shoulder.
Blake: "Again, I am sorry about what happened out there in the match Kelsai. I will talk to you later.
Turning, Blake stops briefly in the doorway nods at Amy before going out to leave. Amy follows Blake leaving me alone in the locker room. Despite the two of them now talking in the hallway, I can still hear what is being said.
Amy: "Blake, can you wait up for a second. There is something that I would like to discuss with you?"
Blake: "Sure, what is it Amy?"
Amy: "Does it seem like something else is wrong with Kelsai?"
Blake: "You mean other than being disappointed and dejected because we lost a match that she really wanted to win? Not really, no."
Amy: "Blake this was a lot worse than Kelsai being disappointed and dejected about a match, even this match. I think there could be something more going on with her."
As I was listening and getting more frustrated by the second, there was a pause, which I took this to mean that Blake was thinking about what Amy had asked him before responding.
Blake: "Well, she was really short with me, and that is definitely not Kelsai. Yeah, you could be right. Any ideas as to what is going on with her?"
Maybe if the two people that want to help me would bother asking me what is going on, then maybe I would tell them what is going on. Scratch that, I just really don't want to talk altogether.
Amy: "I was going to ask you the same thing because I don't know."
Blake: "Me either."
Amy: "Well, I am going to go back in there and see if I can get her to open up and talk to me, because this just isn't normal. Its not just tonight even. Think about it, she hasn't been nearly as active on twitter, and when she been on there, she has not been as spunky or bubbly. Something is going on Blake, and I think that I need to at least try and get to the bottom of it."
Blake: "Yeah you could be right, and if you are going to try and talk to her, all I am going to say is good luck. Maybe you can get through to her, because obviously she doesn't want to talk to me right now..."
Yes, you have got that right Blake.
Blake: "I am going to go get a shower and then head home. Let me know how it goes please Amy?"
Amy: "Of course, and Blake remember this is the first time that you to have teamed together alright? It will get better as you become more familiar with one another."
Blake: "I know and thank you."
With that I could hear Blake's foot steps getting further away. I don't know if it was thinking about what Blake and Amy were saying or maybe just the night in general but I had finally had enough and I punched that wall in frustration, just as Amy was walking back into the room which was quite embarrassing.
Kelsai: "Ouch!"
Amy: "Yeah, I was going to say that probably did hurt a little. Are you alright?"
I just nod, as Amy is coming toward me while I still sit on the bench.
Kelsai: "Yeah I am doing alright, just hurts some, but I think that I have nobody to blame for it myself. It doesn't feel like anything is broke though."
Amy sits down along side of me on the bench where Blake was before, and now she is staring directly into my eyes. Immediately, I feel awful for how I have treated both she and Blake earlier.
Amy: "That is good that nothing feels like it is broken. Now let’s talk about why that happened if we can please? Because I have known you for over a year now and we have had our differences of opinion sometimes, but I have never known you to punch walls before Kelsai.”
Thinking about everything that Amy has just said I realize that she is right. But with so many things that are going on in my life, where do I begin to talk about it.? I feel like I am losing control.
Kelsai: "What is wrong with me Amy?"
Amy: "I was wondering the exact same thing."
Kelsai: "I feel like I am losing control in wrestling and in life. Do you realize that the last time that I won a match in SCW was against Konrad Raab, and that was over a month ago?"
Amy: "I do realize that yes, I just don't have any clue as to why that is happening sweetie, do you? You that Blake left here tonight feeling like he had really let you down."
I love Amy Chastaine. It is not surprising that I would say something like that, because I am Kelsai Adamson-Mason and I love everybody, or at least almost everybody. But Amy is special to me just like I know that I am special to her. Amy would do anything for me, as if I were her own child because I really believe that Amy feels that way. The trouble is however, there are just so many things that are spiraling out of control in my life that I am not sure where to begin. I decide to just with the obvious, which we have covered already, unfortunately.
Kelsai: "Yes, I really felt awful about the way I treated Blake and you. I know that the two of you were just trying to make me feel better. Like I said, I haven't beaten anyone in over a month, so there is no reason for Blake to feel like he let me down during the match."
Amy: "Do you want to know what I think?"
Maybe, maybe not.
Kelsai: "Please."
Amy: "I think that there is a lot going on inside of your head sweetie, but for whatever reason you don't feel comfortable talking to me about it, or maybe you don't think that you should, I don't know."
Wow, she really is good!
Amy: "Say, have you ever considered going to see a psychologist? Someone completely removed from the situation or situations is they are. Someone that can listen objectively and try to help you with whatever it is that you need help with?"
I scoff at this idea because to me it just sounds so ridiculous. Yes there are a few different things that I really need to talk about with someone, I will give you that. But a psychologist? Psychologists are for crazy people and while I am confused about some things, I am certainly not crazy. If it were anybody but Amy talking to me about this, I might be offended.
Kelsai: "Don't be ridiculous Amy. I am not crazy I promise you. Do you know of anyone who went to see a psychologist that wasn't crazy?"
Amy: "Me."
Oh shit, did my mentor, my friend Amy Chastaine tell me that she used to see a psychologist to help with her problems? No who absolutely feels awful? This girl right here, that's who.
Kelsai: "Amy...I didn't have any idea. I am so sorry."
Amy: "There is no reason for you to feel sorry about it, ok, and you definitely didn't have any idea that it had happened. At the time that it happened, we didn't even know each other. The question is however, do you think that this is something that would work for you?"
Kelsai: "Amy, I know that you are just trying to help but I really don't think that going to see a psychologist is going to work for me. I just don't see myself as opening up to someone about things that are really personal to me that I don't even know."
Knowing Amy as I do, I can tell when she is coming up with something in her mind because of the grin she gets on her face that looks like she just won the world title again, and yes, this was one of those times right now.
Amy: "See, this is just another reason why I was supposed to help you in wrestling and life. I know that you know Dr. Lucio that helps out a couple times a week at the shelter, right?"
Kelsai: "Dr. Lucio, of course. I adore her, she is so cool, and I just love the fact that she helps all of those women at the shelter, free of charge."
Amy: "I do too, and I will tell you another secret, when I needed to see a psychologist for over two years, I went to see Dr. Lucio."
Holy crap!
Kelsai: "You did?!"
Amy: "I did. So if you want to go and start seeing a psychologist, a psychologist you know so you wouldn't have to worry about seeing someone that you don't know, Dr. Lucio would certainly be willing to listen to you I believe."
I know that Amy is really just trying to help me anyway that she can so I look at her and nod, even while realizing in the back of my mind that I probably do not go to see Dr Lucio because it is just not something that I am completely comfortable with.
Kelsai: "Alright, anything for you Amy. If you think that it would help if I went to see Dr. Lucio, I will consider it. For now though, I am going to get cleaned up and go home."
Amy: "Sounds good to me sweetie. I am going to stick around and watch the rest of this show. I kind of have a vested interest in the main event."
I think for a minute and then I begin to smile realizing that Victor is away on a business trip.
Kelsai: "You know what? I kind of want to know who wins that one too. Mind if I stick around and watch with you?"
Amy: "Not at all."
And so that is what we did, as we started watching our monitor, we watched the rest of the show, Amy and me. It was a very memorable experience to say the least, and even being so close to home (and my bed where I would get some much need sleep later on) I am glad I stayed, because I wouldn't have wanted to miss was happening the rest of the night.
Home of Amy and Wyatt Lancaster
New Orleans, Louisiana
Saturday, May 2nd, 2020
Besides Victor, there are two people that are my best friends in the world. I don't know for certain if I am either one of them's best friend; you would have to ask them about that. Without question however, Jenni Helms and Jaina Lancaster couldn't mean more to me if the two of them were actually my sisters by birth. Jenni lives in California, so I don't get to see her all that much, especially with all of the restrictions that are put on due to the coronavirus around the country, though I miss her a great deal, and talk with her every chance that I have.
Jaina is another story entirely. 18 years old, Jaina is the daughter of Amy my manager, mentor, friend, and when she was active one of the best wrestlers in the world, including an SCW Supreme Champion. In many ways Amy is like having another Mom to keep me in check, fitting since my biological Mom Kay was Amy’s best friend before she passed away many years ago. It is also fitting then Jaina and I are also close, close enough to be like sisters, though even I will admit that sometimes it is hard to tell which one of us is younger and which one of us is older because Jaina is so much more mature than her age while I do admit to being a bit flighty sometimes.
Recently however, Jaina has been having it rough personally, having ended her relationship with Jordan Majors though not being sure whether that was the right thing to do or not. Just like I would do anything I can do for Amy I would also do anything for Jaina. Because of this Jaina was having a rough time while also trying to move out of her Mom and Dad’s house and into her Aunt Bree’s, who is also by the way the SCW World Champion now as well as being the SCW United States Champion already. When I noticed that she was having a hard time after reading comments that she made on twitter, I sprang into action offering to help my best friend because that is what friend are supposed to do, you help your friends if you can. Right away Jaina accepted my offer to help and in no time, I was off to lend my services to help Jaina move. When I arrived at Amy and Wyatt’s house, and since I know my way around pretty easily there you might say, I went right upstairs to Jaina’s room, but in finding Jaina, things were much worse the I could have possibly imagined. Though I didn’t say it at the time I was pissed. Jaina eyes were swollen and puffy, so it was obvious to anybody that looked at her that she had been crying. I immediately enveloped her into my arms and gave Jaina a hug.
Kelsai: “It’s been a rough day, hasn’t it sweetheart?”
Jaina: “It’s not all bad. I just really think that everything in my life is happening so fast right now, and I just want to slow things down and just breathe.”
I hold her a little bit longer because I hate what circumstances in her life are doing to her. Jaina is normally so full of energy and while she’s not as whimsical as some would say I am, she is generally so much fun to be around. Slowly though I back up now and just look at her and smile, something that she clearly could use more of right now.
Kelsai: “Well then, we will do whatever we need to today to try and slow things down for you, alright?”
Jaina: “That sounds like a perfect idea. Right now though more than anything else, I really just want to get the rest of the stuff packed up here, and then get it over to Aunt Bree’s. Maybe then I will have the chance to relax and see things more clearly.”
Kelsai: “Then let’s get everything packed up. We can talk about things if you want to while we are packing.”
Jaina: “Kelsai, just so you know though, I really don’t want to talk about the break-up between Jordan and I, alright? Can we please just talk about other things”
I smile, knowing that getting her to open up about this is going to be a lot harder than I had previously anticipated.
Kelsai: “We don’t talk about anything that you do not want to talk about it, I promise.”
We start packing up everything that was in Jaina’s room first, and let’s me just say, that girl was not lying in the slightest when she said that she has a lot of stuff. I have spent a lot of time in that room, and I could not even have told you that Jaina had so much stuff up there, and this was the second load that she was taking over to Bree’s house two. I don’t know how big her room is going to be at Bree’s but I do know that she is going to need a considerable amount of space. We talked while we were packing but it was only small talk, nothing of substance. By the time that we had packed the five boxes to go to the truck destined for Bree’s, I was already beat, and from sounds of things Jaina had enough as well, and the stuff still had to be unloaded at Bree’s too.
Jaina: “Oh my word, I feel so tired right now already!”
We both laugh through our tiredness and I nod, knowing that she is right about the two of us being tired, but at the same time not really caring at this moment, because I know once we get loaded up, there is a bit of drive to Bree’s and maybe I could try talking to Jaina about how she is doing with all of this again.
Kelsai: “Sweetie, did just see all of that stuff that you and I have just packed? We are tired right now alright, and normally you will never hear me say something like this, but I am so glad that I am not wrestling tonight!”
Jaina: “Uh-huh, aren’t you glad that Victor isn’t in town with you and instead away on a business trip Mrs. Mason because I don’t think there would be any touching of your hoo-ha tonight!”
I turn and just stare at Jaina momentarily, trying to act like I am offended but it is Jaina so she knows that I am just teasing her with my mouth open wide pretending to be shocked, or at least she better know.
Kelsai: “Jaina Lancaster, how dare you bring up my, my, well you know how dare you bring up THAT into our conversation! Let me tell you something though, if Victor was here, it wouldn’t make a difference if I felt tired or not.”
Jaina: “I don’t know…”
Jaina looks at me and begins to laugh again, remembering something that was said between the two of us months ago in this very room, something that happens between the two of us all of the time if I am being honest.
Jaina: “…the last thing that you would want is for you and Victor to being doing the adult and you to be feeling all tired and gross because we have done too much packing.”
Kelsai: “Touching my hoo-ha?”
Jaina: “You sad it!”
Kelsai: “Yes I said it darn it! Touching my hoo-ha, doing the adult? What did Asher try to get you have me say certain things that I wouldn’t normally say?”
As soon as I mention the name Asher, as in our friend Asher Hayes who always gives me so much flack about how only Victor is allowed to touch me because we are married, I knew that it was a mistake though I don’t know why. Jaina goes from that carefree woman that I know and adore, back to being on the verge of tears. I need to get to the bottom of this and in a hurry.
Kelsai: “Jaina, Jaina what is going on sweetie? Why don’t you want to talk about Asher? He is my friend, but I swear if Asher did something to you, he is going to answer to me!”
Jaina: “Asher didn’t do anything to me, I promise. But thinking of Asher makes me think of Jordan, and I just wish that…”
Finally, was Jaina ready to talk about what happened between she and Jordan? One can only hope that is what this is going to lead to as I look into her eyes, the pain of what she was going through weighing heavily on her.
Kelsai: “What do you wish Jaina?”
Jaina: “I really believe that I have made the right decision breaking up with Jordan even though I still love her very much, and honestly I just wish that things could go back to the beginning like they were between us.”
Kelsai: “Did you tell Jordan that you feel this way?”
Jaina: “So many things that have happened between us, things that I find really hard to talk about even with you Kelsai. Let me just say that Cold Blooded was a culmination of everything that has happened between Jordan and I, Cold Blooded was just that last straw in a string of straws. Why can’t we just go back to being happy and having fun, you know, like you and I do most of the time?”
I nod, because even I know that although Victor and I’s relationship and marriage may look pretty darn close to perfect from the outside, that being married to another person, that takes a lot of work. Jordan and Jaina, though they were not married yet, they were engaged, and again it is a lot of work, a partnership to stay together.
Kelsai: “Having that bond is special Jaina, and everything is not going to be fun all of the time sweetie. I know that you know this too, you have helped me with some of my issues in my marriage because you are so mature.”
Jaina: “I really appreciate you saying that Kelsai, you are such a great friend to me, more like a sister, but I need to tell you, honestly I do not feel all that mature.”
I smile to try and reassure her that everything is going to be ok because it will be, I will not have it any other way. I grab ahold of Jaina and hang on to her.
Kelsai: “Jaina, you are an intelligent, beautiful woman and I will always love you, you hold a very special place in my heart, you are just like a sister to me too, and I hate seeing you like this, but this does not mean that you are any less mature.”
Even before I felt the tears, I could hear Jaina starting to cry.
Jaina: “I don’t want to adult anymore.”
Kelsai: “Don’t you worry sweetie, we are going to figure this out together, I promise you. I am not going anywhere.”
And so, I stand there with my best friend in my arms, not going anywhere while we get through this crazy little game we call life together.
*ON CAMERA*
I am standing in the gym at BlackOut Academy with Jeans and my leather jacket at with black boots. I take a deep breath as I begin.
Fatal Fortunes.
Everyone that is a current wrestler with Supreme Championship Wrestling is getting ready for next two weeks for Fatal Fortunes when everyone has their match or matches determined by the hands of fate. It sounds just a tad bit ominous determined by the hands of fate, but in actuality it is a lot like the lottery come to SCW, except for those people who have a problem facing anybody on the SCW roster and believe me from what I have been told there are several people that have issues facing certain members of the SCW. And then there one person in particular that makes management’s job even harder because he actually his it as a stipulation in his contract that he is not going to face certain members of the SCW roster, at least for the time being.
Hi big brother!
For me, all kidding aside, and I hope that you understand I was only kidding Blake, this is the ideal format for me, because I don’t care, about what type of match I am in or who I might be facing in it. It just does not make a difference to me. All I want to do in my professional life is wrestle. That is all that I have wanted to do in my professional life from the time that I was a small child, and despite the fact the recently I have been going through a bit of a rough patch in my career in SCW, the fact remains that I all I want is to wrestle. So, it doesn’t matter to me who my ping pong ball might end up have me face, (We are using the ping pong method like the NBA Draft lottery right? Because if not, someone really ought to tell a girl things.) I will be ready for every possible situation that I could be facing.
I will be ready for this because of all the stuff that life has been putting me through, everything that I been struggling with, because while this year has been a lot of up and downs, the last couple months in particular in SCW have really made me question whether or not I should even be here altogether. I captured the SCW Television Championship on two separate occasion, wore it proudly and tried to become a spokesperson sorts for the promotion through the notoriety that title won me. Yet I was only able to defend that championship once in those two different reigns, and that had when questioning whether or not winning those title reigns was nothing more than a fluke. I have faced a ton of former SCW World Championship holders and while I certainly have relished in the competition that this has made me step up to face, the fact of the matter is at some point you need to beat that level of competition before you can step up and tell everyone that you are on that level. In my case, much more often than not, everyone is still waiting for me to step up to be put on that level.
Then you have all of the things surrounding Cold Blooded and what I went through because of that show.
Thomas Valentine and his partner in crime and a lot of other things including partners in the ring as The…well we will just take the Adam Sharper route and call them The Connection for lack of a politically correct name. The Connection are the two-time and current, reigning SCW World Tag Team Champions, so they are very good at what they do in the ring, that is not up for discussion. What they did to me outside of the ring however, what they cost me because they were able to get my focus off what really mattered. Because, what mattered as everyone can tell you was the fact that my brother Blake and I were given a gift. We had never been in a match as a tag team before and our first match on SCW pay-per-view no less was for the SCW World Tag Team Championships. That is a gift! We were not even an official tag team in SCW and there we were, going for one of the richest prizes in the game? That beyond a shadow of doubt should have been what really mattered, competing for belts while putting on the very best match on the card that night, like I try to do every night.
But Thomas and Kandis, I really have to hand it to them, they really handed my butt to me, and I am not even talking about what happened in the ring, though they I have to say to they handed my butt to me in the ring during the match as well. But they were so far inside of my head before that match begun that by the time that the bell rang Barney the Purple Dinosaur could have handed me my butt, I was so messed up mentally. Thomas and Kandis mocked and ridiculed me for me belief about love so much that I was more concerned with breaking their faces (Yeah I know me, a face breaker, right?) than I was with actually trying to put on the best match on the card, which is my calling card in this sport, and those SCW World Tag Team Championships? If I am being completely honest with all of you, I had forgotten the World Tag Team Championships were on the line in that match, that is how far the two of them were inside my head.
All I could think about was how much I wanted to hurt the two of them. Honestly, I don’t know which one of them came up with that idea to use love against me or maybe it was both of them, but I really have to hand it to them, it worked like a charm didn’t it? My big brother Blake took all of the blame for that loss but let me tell you there was more than enough blame to around for the two of us Blake if you want to play the blame game. I was so ill prepared for that match that our opponents have me between before the match had officially even started, so don’t you even try to put this all on you Blake because I won’t stand for it. Let’s just make sure that if we get another opportunity at those championship belts that we will be ready for them, the two of us.
So, I have had enough that I have been going through in the past couple months in SCW that it really left me to wonder whether I need to be doing this at all anymore, or maybe SCW was just too tough for me. I thought a lot about those things the past couple weeks, and then I thought about all of those times that I used to go to the arena with my Daddy watching him wrestle and you know what is the one thing that I don’t ever him doing win or lose no matter what because that man just didn’t know how to do it?
Quitting.
That right, my Daddy isn’t a quitter, and he will be darned proud to know that he didn’t raise any quitters either. You know who else isn’t a quitter either? Amy Chastaine, my mentor, my friend she definitely isn’t a quitter either. Both of those two people that I respect so much do not know the meaning of the word quit and you better believe then that I am not going to quit just because times have been hard for me right now. I have been in the SCW now for just over a year, so you can bet that this was bound to happen and now it has. I came in here with a whole lot of promise, started getting better and better and now I have hit the rookie wall so to speak, and everyone is waiting patiently to see how I am going to respond. Well, in case you are seeing this and you are one of those people wondering how I am going to respond, I am going to respond like this;
I am going to fight!
Oh yes, I am going to fight! I am going to fight because it does not matter how many times how many times they have knocked me down, (and believe me, they have knocked me down a lot recently) it matters how many times that I am going to pick myself back up, and be ready to fight again. I will fight whoever fate chooses for me to fight in Fatal Fortunes, and I will fight for my ideals, for love, I will fight to hear all of my Lovelies screaming for me to…
LET LOVE IN!
But more than anything I am going to fight for the brave, because, that is me, I am one of the brave and you know what they say about the brave this time of year right?
I take off my jacket to reveal a pink t-shirt that says..
Fortune Favors the Brave!
So, get ready everyone, Fatal Fortunes is here, and it is time for me to turn my fortunes around against whoever fate chooses, and I am going to do it MY way because?
KELSAI LOVES ALL OF YOU!
Smoothie King Center, backstage
New Orleans, Louisiana
Sunday, April 19th, 2020
Great, more bullshit.
I know that is not what people are used to hearing from me, and they never will either, or at least not very often as I try to use my words very carefully. There is great power with words, something that I learned very early in life. Words are a lot like the Robert Frost poem "The Road Not Taken". In the poem Frost comes upon two divergent roads, one that is taken regularly by numerous people and one that is taken less often and less individuals. Words are similar to the poem in that we can either choose words that everyone expects to hear from us or we can go down the road less traveled and use words that people do not expect us to use. I tend to take the road that people expect me to take with what words that I am going to use.
So, normally I would never use the word "bullshit" and honestly you will still never hear me say it aloud. Parents look to me as a role model for their children, something that I thoroughly enjoy mind you, but because of this I need to make certain that I am using words that parents would want their children to use. Children look up to me, so if I say "bullshit" then it must be alright for a child to say to, correct? No, it's not alright, and while I realize that other athletes and celebrities don't care about the image that they project outwardly, even some have gone as far as to say that are not role models, I do not agree, and so I watch what I say because I know that other people do.
However, I can certainly think to myself that something is bullshit. Like an adoption agency representative suggesting that Victor and I may not be ready or willing to bring a child into our lives. Or how about the way Thomas Valentine and Kandis chose to mock and ridicule me because I believe in love and show that love to other people every chance that I get? Yeah, that absolutely was and is bullshit. Look, I know that my values are not the same as your average, everyday person, but I do not deserve to be marginalized because of this. That is why I wanted to win so badly at Cold Blooded too, because I wanted to make a point that Thomas, Kandis, or anyone else that my values matter and even if you don't agree with me, you should respect me. It really is not too much to ask.
Unfortunately though, Blake and I were not able to win that match and become the SCW World Tag Team Champions. Now after coming backstage to our locker rooms it looks like both Blake and Amy want to discuss the match. More bullshit because talking about the match is the last thing that I want to do right now, though it doesn't seem like I am going to be given a choice with Blake sliding over next to me on the bench and putting his arm around me.
Blake: "I apologize for what happened out there. I should have been better prepared for that match. Tommy and Kandis have been a team for a while now and they took advantage of the fact that we have not."
I shrug, not even looking up at him. I appreciate what I can tell he is doing right now, and it is noble, trying to shoulder the blame for our loss, but he is not the one who hasn't won a match in SCW in over a month.
Kelsai: "Don't apologize. You win some and you lose some, right?"
Blake: "Sure, that is true, but I the veteran and I was supposed to the leader in this instance. This one is on me, and I don't want you feeling any different. You were great out there, sister."
Yeah, I was great out there Blake, no problem. I was especially great at taking the pinfall. I have become an expert on how to do that recently. I will say this, at least my head is down so that you can't see the fact that I am rolling my eyes right now.
Kelsai: "Thanks."
Amy has been pacing back and forth since we got back to the locker room, I can tell because I can see her shoes in front of me. This is usually a sign that Amy is about to speak, and of course Amy does not leave me disappointed in that regard.
Amy: "I really think that the two of you need to be careful with how place blame for that match. A tag team match is a different animal as opposed to singles competition.”
Blake: "I just really do not want my sister taking any of the blame on herself. We will get another opportunity to go after the belts, and when we do, I will be better prepared for it."
Amy: But you need to function as one, a cohesive unit, something that the two are lacking in experience at this point. There is bound to be a learning curve because of that. There is no need for either one of you to be down on yourself for any reason."
It could just be them pounding that I took during the match that has me with such a giant-sized headache, but I just cannot take any more discussion about the match because I am about to scream. I look up at both my brother and my mentor.
Kelsai: "I know that the two of want to discuss what happened out there during the match, but I don't want to talk about, and in fact I am not going to talk about it right now, period."
Knowing me as both of them do, I can bet that is the last thing that either one of them was expecting from me at this point, but I could not have really cared less honestly. Amy is staring, trying to study my face for some sort of an expression while Blake just sounds both shocked and concerned.
Blake: "Is everything alright Kelsai?"
My voice came out sounding sharper than I intended, which is awful when you considered that I was feeling quiet tense at the moment. I looked at Blake again, my frustration mounting.
Kelsai: "Blake, I am fine, everything is fine, I just don't want to talk about our match, so I am not going to do it. This is non-negotiable."
At this point I did something that I never do, turning away Blake and Amy and staring at the wall. I think that Blake got the idea as he got up from the bench, though he kept his hand on my shoulder.
Blake: "Again, I am sorry about what happened out there in the match Kelsai. I will talk to you later.
Turning, Blake stops briefly in the doorway nods at Amy before going out to leave. Amy follows Blake leaving me alone in the locker room. Despite the two of them now talking in the hallway, I can still hear what is being said.
Amy: "Blake, can you wait up for a second. There is something that I would like to discuss with you?"
Blake: "Sure, what is it Amy?"
Amy: "Does it seem like something else is wrong with Kelsai?"
Blake: "You mean other than being disappointed and dejected because we lost a match that she really wanted to win? Not really, no."
Amy: "Blake this was a lot worse than Kelsai being disappointed and dejected about a match, even this match. I think there could be something more going on with her."
As I was listening and getting more frustrated by the second, there was a pause, which I took this to mean that Blake was thinking about what Amy had asked him before responding.
Blake: "Well, she was really short with me, and that is definitely not Kelsai. Yeah, you could be right. Any ideas as to what is going on with her?"
Maybe if the two people that want to help me would bother asking me what is going on, then maybe I would tell them what is going on. Scratch that, I just really don't want to talk altogether.
Amy: "I was going to ask you the same thing because I don't know."
Blake: "Me either."
Amy: "Well, I am going to go back in there and see if I can get her to open up and talk to me, because this just isn't normal. Its not just tonight even. Think about it, she hasn't been nearly as active on twitter, and when she been on there, she has not been as spunky or bubbly. Something is going on Blake, and I think that I need to at least try and get to the bottom of it."
Blake: "Yeah you could be right, and if you are going to try and talk to her, all I am going to say is good luck. Maybe you can get through to her, because obviously she doesn't want to talk to me right now..."
Yes, you have got that right Blake.
Blake: "I am going to go get a shower and then head home. Let me know how it goes please Amy?"
Amy: "Of course, and Blake remember this is the first time that you to have teamed together alright? It will get better as you become more familiar with one another."
Blake: "I know and thank you."
With that I could hear Blake's foot steps getting further away. I don't know if it was thinking about what Blake and Amy were saying or maybe just the night in general but I had finally had enough and I punched that wall in frustration, just as Amy was walking back into the room which was quite embarrassing.
Kelsai: "Ouch!"
Amy: "Yeah, I was going to say that probably did hurt a little. Are you alright?"
I just nod, as Amy is coming toward me while I still sit on the bench.
Kelsai: "Yeah I am doing alright, just hurts some, but I think that I have nobody to blame for it myself. It doesn't feel like anything is broke though."
Amy sits down along side of me on the bench where Blake was before, and now she is staring directly into my eyes. Immediately, I feel awful for how I have treated both she and Blake earlier.
Amy: "That is good that nothing feels like it is broken. Now let’s talk about why that happened if we can please? Because I have known you for over a year now and we have had our differences of opinion sometimes, but I have never known you to punch walls before Kelsai.”
Thinking about everything that Amy has just said I realize that she is right. But with so many things that are going on in my life, where do I begin to talk about it.? I feel like I am losing control.
Kelsai: "What is wrong with me Amy?"
Amy: "I was wondering the exact same thing."
Kelsai: "I feel like I am losing control in wrestling and in life. Do you realize that the last time that I won a match in SCW was against Konrad Raab, and that was over a month ago?"
Amy: "I do realize that yes, I just don't have any clue as to why that is happening sweetie, do you? You that Blake left here tonight feeling like he had really let you down."
I love Amy Chastaine. It is not surprising that I would say something like that, because I am Kelsai Adamson-Mason and I love everybody, or at least almost everybody. But Amy is special to me just like I know that I am special to her. Amy would do anything for me, as if I were her own child because I really believe that Amy feels that way. The trouble is however, there are just so many things that are spiraling out of control in my life that I am not sure where to begin. I decide to just with the obvious, which we have covered already, unfortunately.
Kelsai: "Yes, I really felt awful about the way I treated Blake and you. I know that the two of you were just trying to make me feel better. Like I said, I haven't beaten anyone in over a month, so there is no reason for Blake to feel like he let me down during the match."
Amy: "Do you want to know what I think?"
Maybe, maybe not.
Kelsai: "Please."
Amy: "I think that there is a lot going on inside of your head sweetie, but for whatever reason you don't feel comfortable talking to me about it, or maybe you don't think that you should, I don't know."
Wow, she really is good!
Amy: "Say, have you ever considered going to see a psychologist? Someone completely removed from the situation or situations is they are. Someone that can listen objectively and try to help you with whatever it is that you need help with?"
I scoff at this idea because to me it just sounds so ridiculous. Yes there are a few different things that I really need to talk about with someone, I will give you that. But a psychologist? Psychologists are for crazy people and while I am confused about some things, I am certainly not crazy. If it were anybody but Amy talking to me about this, I might be offended.
Kelsai: "Don't be ridiculous Amy. I am not crazy I promise you. Do you know of anyone who went to see a psychologist that wasn't crazy?"
Amy: "Me."
Oh shit, did my mentor, my friend Amy Chastaine tell me that she used to see a psychologist to help with her problems? No who absolutely feels awful? This girl right here, that's who.
Kelsai: "Amy...I didn't have any idea. I am so sorry."
Amy: "There is no reason for you to feel sorry about it, ok, and you definitely didn't have any idea that it had happened. At the time that it happened, we didn't even know each other. The question is however, do you think that this is something that would work for you?"
Kelsai: "Amy, I know that you are just trying to help but I really don't think that going to see a psychologist is going to work for me. I just don't see myself as opening up to someone about things that are really personal to me that I don't even know."
Knowing Amy as I do, I can tell when she is coming up with something in her mind because of the grin she gets on her face that looks like she just won the world title again, and yes, this was one of those times right now.
Amy: "See, this is just another reason why I was supposed to help you in wrestling and life. I know that you know Dr. Lucio that helps out a couple times a week at the shelter, right?"
Kelsai: "Dr. Lucio, of course. I adore her, she is so cool, and I just love the fact that she helps all of those women at the shelter, free of charge."
Amy: "I do too, and I will tell you another secret, when I needed to see a psychologist for over two years, I went to see Dr. Lucio."
Holy crap!
Kelsai: "You did?!"
Amy: "I did. So if you want to go and start seeing a psychologist, a psychologist you know so you wouldn't have to worry about seeing someone that you don't know, Dr. Lucio would certainly be willing to listen to you I believe."
I know that Amy is really just trying to help me anyway that she can so I look at her and nod, even while realizing in the back of my mind that I probably do not go to see Dr Lucio because it is just not something that I am completely comfortable with.
Kelsai: "Alright, anything for you Amy. If you think that it would help if I went to see Dr. Lucio, I will consider it. For now though, I am going to get cleaned up and go home."
Amy: "Sounds good to me sweetie. I am going to stick around and watch the rest of this show. I kind of have a vested interest in the main event."
I think for a minute and then I begin to smile realizing that Victor is away on a business trip.
Kelsai: "You know what? I kind of want to know who wins that one too. Mind if I stick around and watch with you?"
Amy: "Not at all."
And so that is what we did, as we started watching our monitor, we watched the rest of the show, Amy and me. It was a very memorable experience to say the least, and even being so close to home (and my bed where I would get some much need sleep later on) I am glad I stayed, because I wouldn't have wanted to miss was happening the rest of the night.
Home of Amy and Wyatt Lancaster
New Orleans, Louisiana
Saturday, May 2nd, 2020
Besides Victor, there are two people that are my best friends in the world. I don't know for certain if I am either one of them's best friend; you would have to ask them about that. Without question however, Jenni Helms and Jaina Lancaster couldn't mean more to me if the two of them were actually my sisters by birth. Jenni lives in California, so I don't get to see her all that much, especially with all of the restrictions that are put on due to the coronavirus around the country, though I miss her a great deal, and talk with her every chance that I have.
Jaina is another story entirely. 18 years old, Jaina is the daughter of Amy my manager, mentor, friend, and when she was active one of the best wrestlers in the world, including an SCW Supreme Champion. In many ways Amy is like having another Mom to keep me in check, fitting since my biological Mom Kay was Amy’s best friend before she passed away many years ago. It is also fitting then Jaina and I are also close, close enough to be like sisters, though even I will admit that sometimes it is hard to tell which one of us is younger and which one of us is older because Jaina is so much more mature than her age while I do admit to being a bit flighty sometimes.
Recently however, Jaina has been having it rough personally, having ended her relationship with Jordan Majors though not being sure whether that was the right thing to do or not. Just like I would do anything I can do for Amy I would also do anything for Jaina. Because of this Jaina was having a rough time while also trying to move out of her Mom and Dad’s house and into her Aunt Bree’s, who is also by the way the SCW World Champion now as well as being the SCW United States Champion already. When I noticed that she was having a hard time after reading comments that she made on twitter, I sprang into action offering to help my best friend because that is what friend are supposed to do, you help your friends if you can. Right away Jaina accepted my offer to help and in no time, I was off to lend my services to help Jaina move. When I arrived at Amy and Wyatt’s house, and since I know my way around pretty easily there you might say, I went right upstairs to Jaina’s room, but in finding Jaina, things were much worse the I could have possibly imagined. Though I didn’t say it at the time I was pissed. Jaina eyes were swollen and puffy, so it was obvious to anybody that looked at her that she had been crying. I immediately enveloped her into my arms and gave Jaina a hug.
Kelsai: “It’s been a rough day, hasn’t it sweetheart?”
Jaina: “It’s not all bad. I just really think that everything in my life is happening so fast right now, and I just want to slow things down and just breathe.”
I hold her a little bit longer because I hate what circumstances in her life are doing to her. Jaina is normally so full of energy and while she’s not as whimsical as some would say I am, she is generally so much fun to be around. Slowly though I back up now and just look at her and smile, something that she clearly could use more of right now.
Kelsai: “Well then, we will do whatever we need to today to try and slow things down for you, alright?”
Jaina: “That sounds like a perfect idea. Right now though more than anything else, I really just want to get the rest of the stuff packed up here, and then get it over to Aunt Bree’s. Maybe then I will have the chance to relax and see things more clearly.”
Kelsai: “Then let’s get everything packed up. We can talk about things if you want to while we are packing.”
Jaina: “Kelsai, just so you know though, I really don’t want to talk about the break-up between Jordan and I, alright? Can we please just talk about other things”
I smile, knowing that getting her to open up about this is going to be a lot harder than I had previously anticipated.
Kelsai: “We don’t talk about anything that you do not want to talk about it, I promise.”
We start packing up everything that was in Jaina’s room first, and let’s me just say, that girl was not lying in the slightest when she said that she has a lot of stuff. I have spent a lot of time in that room, and I could not even have told you that Jaina had so much stuff up there, and this was the second load that she was taking over to Bree’s house two. I don’t know how big her room is going to be at Bree’s but I do know that she is going to need a considerable amount of space. We talked while we were packing but it was only small talk, nothing of substance. By the time that we had packed the five boxes to go to the truck destined for Bree’s, I was already beat, and from sounds of things Jaina had enough as well, and the stuff still had to be unloaded at Bree’s too.
Jaina: “Oh my word, I feel so tired right now already!”
We both laugh through our tiredness and I nod, knowing that she is right about the two of us being tired, but at the same time not really caring at this moment, because I know once we get loaded up, there is a bit of drive to Bree’s and maybe I could try talking to Jaina about how she is doing with all of this again.
Kelsai: “Sweetie, did just see all of that stuff that you and I have just packed? We are tired right now alright, and normally you will never hear me say something like this, but I am so glad that I am not wrestling tonight!”
Jaina: “Uh-huh, aren’t you glad that Victor isn’t in town with you and instead away on a business trip Mrs. Mason because I don’t think there would be any touching of your hoo-ha tonight!”
I turn and just stare at Jaina momentarily, trying to act like I am offended but it is Jaina so she knows that I am just teasing her with my mouth open wide pretending to be shocked, or at least she better know.
Kelsai: “Jaina Lancaster, how dare you bring up my, my, well you know how dare you bring up THAT into our conversation! Let me tell you something though, if Victor was here, it wouldn’t make a difference if I felt tired or not.”
Jaina: “I don’t know…”
Jaina looks at me and begins to laugh again, remembering something that was said between the two of us months ago in this very room, something that happens between the two of us all of the time if I am being honest.
Jaina: “…the last thing that you would want is for you and Victor to being doing the adult and you to be feeling all tired and gross because we have done too much packing.”
Kelsai: “Touching my hoo-ha?”
Jaina: “You sad it!”
Kelsai: “Yes I said it darn it! Touching my hoo-ha, doing the adult? What did Asher try to get you have me say certain things that I wouldn’t normally say?”
As soon as I mention the name Asher, as in our friend Asher Hayes who always gives me so much flack about how only Victor is allowed to touch me because we are married, I knew that it was a mistake though I don’t know why. Jaina goes from that carefree woman that I know and adore, back to being on the verge of tears. I need to get to the bottom of this and in a hurry.
Kelsai: “Jaina, Jaina what is going on sweetie? Why don’t you want to talk about Asher? He is my friend, but I swear if Asher did something to you, he is going to answer to me!”
Jaina: “Asher didn’t do anything to me, I promise. But thinking of Asher makes me think of Jordan, and I just wish that…”
Finally, was Jaina ready to talk about what happened between she and Jordan? One can only hope that is what this is going to lead to as I look into her eyes, the pain of what she was going through weighing heavily on her.
Kelsai: “What do you wish Jaina?”
Jaina: “I really believe that I have made the right decision breaking up with Jordan even though I still love her very much, and honestly I just wish that things could go back to the beginning like they were between us.”
Kelsai: “Did you tell Jordan that you feel this way?”
Jaina: “So many things that have happened between us, things that I find really hard to talk about even with you Kelsai. Let me just say that Cold Blooded was a culmination of everything that has happened between Jordan and I, Cold Blooded was just that last straw in a string of straws. Why can’t we just go back to being happy and having fun, you know, like you and I do most of the time?”
I nod, because even I know that although Victor and I’s relationship and marriage may look pretty darn close to perfect from the outside, that being married to another person, that takes a lot of work. Jordan and Jaina, though they were not married yet, they were engaged, and again it is a lot of work, a partnership to stay together.
Kelsai: “Having that bond is special Jaina, and everything is not going to be fun all of the time sweetie. I know that you know this too, you have helped me with some of my issues in my marriage because you are so mature.”
Jaina: “I really appreciate you saying that Kelsai, you are such a great friend to me, more like a sister, but I need to tell you, honestly I do not feel all that mature.”
I smile to try and reassure her that everything is going to be ok because it will be, I will not have it any other way. I grab ahold of Jaina and hang on to her.
Kelsai: “Jaina, you are an intelligent, beautiful woman and I will always love you, you hold a very special place in my heart, you are just like a sister to me too, and I hate seeing you like this, but this does not mean that you are any less mature.”
Even before I felt the tears, I could hear Jaina starting to cry.
Jaina: “I don’t want to adult anymore.”
Kelsai: “Don’t you worry sweetie, we are going to figure this out together, I promise you. I am not going anywhere.”
And so, I stand there with my best friend in my arms, not going anywhere while we get through this crazy little game we call life together.
*ON CAMERA*
I am standing in the gym at BlackOut Academy with Jeans and my leather jacket at with black boots. I take a deep breath as I begin.
Fatal Fortunes.
Everyone that is a current wrestler with Supreme Championship Wrestling is getting ready for next two weeks for Fatal Fortunes when everyone has their match or matches determined by the hands of fate. It sounds just a tad bit ominous determined by the hands of fate, but in actuality it is a lot like the lottery come to SCW, except for those people who have a problem facing anybody on the SCW roster and believe me from what I have been told there are several people that have issues facing certain members of the SCW. And then there one person in particular that makes management’s job even harder because he actually his it as a stipulation in his contract that he is not going to face certain members of the SCW roster, at least for the time being.
Hi big brother!
For me, all kidding aside, and I hope that you understand I was only kidding Blake, this is the ideal format for me, because I don’t care, about what type of match I am in or who I might be facing in it. It just does not make a difference to me. All I want to do in my professional life is wrestle. That is all that I have wanted to do in my professional life from the time that I was a small child, and despite the fact the recently I have been going through a bit of a rough patch in my career in SCW, the fact remains that I all I want is to wrestle. So, it doesn’t matter to me who my ping pong ball might end up have me face, (We are using the ping pong method like the NBA Draft lottery right? Because if not, someone really ought to tell a girl things.) I will be ready for every possible situation that I could be facing.
I will be ready for this because of all the stuff that life has been putting me through, everything that I been struggling with, because while this year has been a lot of up and downs, the last couple months in particular in SCW have really made me question whether or not I should even be here altogether. I captured the SCW Television Championship on two separate occasion, wore it proudly and tried to become a spokesperson sorts for the promotion through the notoriety that title won me. Yet I was only able to defend that championship once in those two different reigns, and that had when questioning whether or not winning those title reigns was nothing more than a fluke. I have faced a ton of former SCW World Championship holders and while I certainly have relished in the competition that this has made me step up to face, the fact of the matter is at some point you need to beat that level of competition before you can step up and tell everyone that you are on that level. In my case, much more often than not, everyone is still waiting for me to step up to be put on that level.
Then you have all of the things surrounding Cold Blooded and what I went through because of that show.
Thomas Valentine and his partner in crime and a lot of other things including partners in the ring as The…well we will just take the Adam Sharper route and call them The Connection for lack of a politically correct name. The Connection are the two-time and current, reigning SCW World Tag Team Champions, so they are very good at what they do in the ring, that is not up for discussion. What they did to me outside of the ring however, what they cost me because they were able to get my focus off what really mattered. Because, what mattered as everyone can tell you was the fact that my brother Blake and I were given a gift. We had never been in a match as a tag team before and our first match on SCW pay-per-view no less was for the SCW World Tag Team Championships. That is a gift! We were not even an official tag team in SCW and there we were, going for one of the richest prizes in the game? That beyond a shadow of doubt should have been what really mattered, competing for belts while putting on the very best match on the card that night, like I try to do every night.
But Thomas and Kandis, I really have to hand it to them, they really handed my butt to me, and I am not even talking about what happened in the ring, though they I have to say to they handed my butt to me in the ring during the match as well. But they were so far inside of my head before that match begun that by the time that the bell rang Barney the Purple Dinosaur could have handed me my butt, I was so messed up mentally. Thomas and Kandis mocked and ridiculed me for me belief about love so much that I was more concerned with breaking their faces (Yeah I know me, a face breaker, right?) than I was with actually trying to put on the best match on the card, which is my calling card in this sport, and those SCW World Tag Team Championships? If I am being completely honest with all of you, I had forgotten the World Tag Team Championships were on the line in that match, that is how far the two of them were inside my head.
All I could think about was how much I wanted to hurt the two of them. Honestly, I don’t know which one of them came up with that idea to use love against me or maybe it was both of them, but I really have to hand it to them, it worked like a charm didn’t it? My big brother Blake took all of the blame for that loss but let me tell you there was more than enough blame to around for the two of us Blake if you want to play the blame game. I was so ill prepared for that match that our opponents have me between before the match had officially even started, so don’t you even try to put this all on you Blake because I won’t stand for it. Let’s just make sure that if we get another opportunity at those championship belts that we will be ready for them, the two of us.
So, I have had enough that I have been going through in the past couple months in SCW that it really left me to wonder whether I need to be doing this at all anymore, or maybe SCW was just too tough for me. I thought a lot about those things the past couple weeks, and then I thought about all of those times that I used to go to the arena with my Daddy watching him wrestle and you know what is the one thing that I don’t ever him doing win or lose no matter what because that man just didn’t know how to do it?
Quitting.
That right, my Daddy isn’t a quitter, and he will be darned proud to know that he didn’t raise any quitters either. You know who else isn’t a quitter either? Amy Chastaine, my mentor, my friend she definitely isn’t a quitter either. Both of those two people that I respect so much do not know the meaning of the word quit and you better believe then that I am not going to quit just because times have been hard for me right now. I have been in the SCW now for just over a year, so you can bet that this was bound to happen and now it has. I came in here with a whole lot of promise, started getting better and better and now I have hit the rookie wall so to speak, and everyone is waiting patiently to see how I am going to respond. Well, in case you are seeing this and you are one of those people wondering how I am going to respond, I am going to respond like this;
I am going to fight!
Oh yes, I am going to fight! I am going to fight because it does not matter how many times how many times they have knocked me down, (and believe me, they have knocked me down a lot recently) it matters how many times that I am going to pick myself back up, and be ready to fight again. I will fight whoever fate chooses for me to fight in Fatal Fortunes, and I will fight for my ideals, for love, I will fight to hear all of my Lovelies screaming for me to…
LET LOVE IN!
But more than anything I am going to fight for the brave, because, that is me, I am one of the brave and you know what they say about the brave this time of year right?
I take off my jacket to reveal a pink t-shirt that says..
Fortune Favors the Brave!
So, get ready everyone, Fatal Fortunes is here, and it is time for me to turn my fortunes around against whoever fate chooses, and I am going to do it MY way because?
KELSAI LOVES ALL OF YOU!