Bree Lancaster vs. Kelsai Adamson-Mason

[Konrad Raab]

2 RP Limit for singles

Deadline: 11:59:59 pm ET Tuesday, June 23, 2020

[HardyGirl]

Breakdown 6-24-20

[Simple77]

OOC: Always a privilege J, best of luck. Everyone else, enjoy!

Wrestling with Wrestling (And a lot of other things)

Off Camera
Office of Dr. Lucio
New Orleans, Louisiana
Monday, June 22, 2020
9 am

Trapped.

That’s what I feel like, that I have been trapped inside of my own mind and while some of you might believe wouldn’t sound so bad, let me tell you that none of that could be further from the truth. I love what I do, and I love the people that I am doing it for, there is no doubt about that and given the opportunity to do so, I still would not even try to deny it and say otherwise. But there are those instances where I feel like everything that I have done is like quicksand and I am being pulled further and further under by my own life until and can’t breathe anymore.

Do you think I am fit for this world? I am starting to wonder, I really am. I see something like all of the wrestlers that were accused of sexual abuse recently,  even people who going out now and trying to use Black Lives Matter for something other than what it was meant for, and I really start to think....I don't want to die, there is so much live for just for me personally, I hope I live forever, but I really am not sure I want to live here, unless I can change it. That is it, that is what I want to do, I want to change the world. Sure, that sounds amusing coming from a wrestler, but I honestly if I had my way would make the world a better place to live in for my future children one day.

The problem is that though, trying to become that mother who is going to love her children, plus these fears that I have that I am failing at everything, not to mention I still am trying to get through the caffeine addiction that I have had in the past. As anyone who has struggled with addiction can tell you, when you are trying to cope with  having addiction to something you are never really over the addiction, and believe me just because I am a professional wrestler with my own group of fans doesn’t mean that I am immune to that. If that wasn’t enough though, then you add in the fact that I am still trying to figure out how I feel about being adopted and why my parents waited so long to tell me about the adoption. Then there is also the nagging belief that I need to be perfect for that group of fans that seems to be growing everytime that I go out into the arena. Don’t get me wrong, I adore all of my fans more than you could ever possibly imagine. There are really times however where something in wrestling or even in my life is bullshit, and I would really love to say that it is just that -bullshit- and I would like to be able to say that without having to worry about receiving hate mail from Mom’s who angry with me because their 8-year-old little girl just heard me say bullshit. Add in that I still volunteer in the community in New Orleans, and you can see why maybe Victor and Amy both might have a fair point when they question me about whether or not I am mentally and emotionally spreading myself too thin.

I can say to myself for the first time that I am honestly physically exhausted and it has really started to show up in my performance in the ring, if Taking Hold of the Flame could be any kind of an indicator. Oh yeah, this is a really big week for me professionally also, because I am going to go into Little Rock, Arkansas for SCW Breakdown Wednesday night and I am facing the SCW World Champion one-on-one. No, it will not be for the World Championship, but when the bell rings to start my match in just a few more days that will still be Bree Lancaster who will be my opponent. The Bree Lancaster that is the very best in the world right now at what we do. You can try to argue with me if you want, but at this point she has the hardware to back up my point. The same Bree Lancaster that I have been trying to convince that I think of her as one of my friends, but that doesn’t make any difference, I need to set aside my personal feelings, something that I can be sure that Bree will have no issue doing whatever her personal feelings toward me may be when I am standing across from so if I can’t do that?

I am going to be eaten alive, and we are going to have one very quick match, which is probably what most people are expecting anyway, a quick match.

I have been thinking about that during the time since this match was announced for Breakdown Wednesday night, what an incredible opportunity it is for me. This match is one opportunity that I do not want to squador because professional wrestling is like life in that you are only going to get a certain number of opportunities so I need to be prepared or this is one opportunity that will pass me by. That means as much as I want to change the world I need to concentrate on figuring out what is wrong with me mentally first, and why I feel so close to cracking at times. After all, how am I ever going to make the world a better place for my future children or anyone else’s for that matter if I can’t first discover how I make my world a better place for me. If I can’t do that then I am certainly in no condition to face the SCW World Champion Wednesday night, and I am determined one way or another to be ready for that. That is why I find myself back in the one place that I was honestly not sure that I would ever find myself again, in Dr. Lucio’s office. Because despite the fact that I didn’t like how we left things my last session, if there is one person that can help me get prepared for my match Wednesday night by helping figure out what is wrong with my life, it is the woman sitting across from me right now.

“Kelsai, when you called this morning, I have to admit that I was a little shocked. After the way that your last session ended, I wasn’t sure that we were ever going to see each other again, as a patient here in my office at least.”
“I really didn’t think that I wanted to come back to your office as a patient either honestly. There were a lot of things that were brought out in that session that I really was not comfortable talking about yet.”

Dr Lucio smiles at me and nods, but it is the kind of smile that lets me know that we are both lying to one another concerning what happened in my last session, because we both know that I was perfectly fine until the very end of the session. Still she appears willing to keep up this lie for now, and because that person which we ended up discussing is the last person I want to discuss currently or ever, I am equally willing to continue this mutual faux deception.

“I am happy you are here though however, and if you would like we can pick up right where you left off and start discussing your co-worker, Sienna?”
“No, we absolutely cannot discuss Sienna, and if you are insistent upon that, I will leave again immediately, and this time I will not be coming back.”
“Alright, there is nothing that says we must discuss Sienna for the moment, though I am interested, why do you not want to discuss Sienna?”
“Because I do not like the bitch alright? I do not like the bitch because I don’t like anyone who causes so much turmoil in the life of my sister or lies about who they really are.”
“Understood, but just so we are clear, if you are going to make progress in relation to what is going on with your career, I would strongly consider at some allowing us to discuss Sienna because that could be a large part of what is going on, your feelings toward her that is.”
“Sure, and I understand that. I am just not anywhere near wanting to discuss Sienna right now. In fact, we could not talk about her at all anymore today, that would be amazing.”
“Fair enough, we will table any discussion of Sienna for now. What would you like to discuss today then?”

That was a loaded question even if Dr. Lucio herself did not realize it. There was so much that we could talk about as we explored what in the world is going on with me upstairs actually, where could we begin? As I sat there with Dr. Lucio’s warm, friendly eyes staring back at me which probably meant that she was psychoanalyzing me as well, I quickly realized there is really only one place for us to begin.

“All of it.”
“Excuse me Kelsai, but what does that mean when you say all of it? I need more to go off from than that.”
We need to discuss everything that is currently going on with my life if I am going to be ready mentally for this Wednesday night.”
“Wednesday night, SCW Breakdown is on Wednesday nights isn’t it?”
“Yes it is.”
“And I take it from the excitement in your eyes that you must have a pretty important match on Breakdown this week?”
“I get to face Bree for the first time this week.”
“Wait a second, you are facing Bree Lancaster on Breakdown this week? Isn’t Bree the SCW World Champion this week?”
“Yes, but our match is not for the championship this week. Though if I were able to win it, then maybe who knows what the SCW Board or Sasha the promoter might think that I am in line for.”
“Wow Kelsai, this is a very important match for you! I know that I am very excited for you, and I am certain that a lot of people from New Orleans will be watching. How does that make you feel?”

Dr. Lucio is probably going to be confused by the answer that was coming next, but it is the first thing that comes to mind when I think about facing anyone on Breakdown, and especially when I think about facing Bree on Breakdown.

“Quicksand.”
“The first thing that comes to mind when you think about facing Bree on Breakdown is quicksand? You are going to need to explain that to me, because I am not sure that I do not follow.”
“Right. It is from the movie The Replacements. Keanu Reeves' character Shane Falco is asked what he is most afraid of on the football field as a replacement player. He says quicksand and then explains himself to the team as you are playing the game and everything is going along just fine but then one thing goes wrong and then another and another. It’s like you are being pulled back down by everything and the harder you try to get back up, the more everything is pulling you back down. Quicksand.”
“I think that I see what the problem is here then. You do not believe in your ability to be able to compete with Bree?”
“No, though I could see why it is that you might feel that way. I know I can compete with Bree, in fact I know that if things break right for me that I can beat her. Mentally however, with my entire life, I feel like I am drowning in quicksand, and no matter how hard I try to pull myself to my feet I feel like I am sinking further down in quicksand.”
“That sounds really awful Kelsai. How long have you felt this way?”
“For about 14 months or so anyway?”

I could see her doing some quick math in her head, and I knew almost assuredly what she was going to come back with.

“So this has been going on for you mentally even before you started working for SCW then?”
“Yes, that is correct was in Emerge at the time, which at that point was being used as like a smaller promotion to help rookies or people who have been out of wrestling for a while but want to make a return get prepared for SCW. ”
“So what we need to do is go back to what happened at the time 14 months ago and see if we can’t figure out what started this downward spiral for you mentally?”
“Well that is not going to take us too long. Everything started to go downhill mentally for me when I was assaulted. Victor and I were still living in New York City at the time and I had gone jogging through Central Park at 5 am and someone came up from behind and assaulted me.”
“And I take it from the way that you said someone that the perpetrator has yet to be found?”
“That is correct, yes.”
[color=wheat]“I can’t imagine what that must have been like for you Kelsai. I have never experienced anything like that myself, but I know that trauma can be a very hard thing to move past mentally, physically, and emotionally.”
“You have no idea Dr. Lucio. I still 14 months later wake up at night, shaking because I feel like I have been attacked from behind.”

I could feel myself starting to get nervous just talking about it now, but I try to do my best to be certain that Dr. Lucio can’t see anything that will tip her off as to just how bad everything is going for me mentally and emotionally. That is something this is crazy to think about because number 1 she is a psychologist and she probably has already discovered just how bad things have become for me, and number 2 the only way that she can help me is if I am willingly to discuss with her what is going on in my life. Otherwise, what is the point of this whole exercise?

“How does it feel when you say that 14 months later it feels like you are being assaulted from behind?”
“Excuse me, what?” My eyes start to water and hands bawl into fist as I am starting to get angry, though so far I am managing to keep my composure.
“I said how does it feel when you say that 14 months later it feels like you are being assaulted from behind?”
“I can’t figure out why you, being my psychologist would ask that question, but really thinking about it Doc, I guess it is about par for the course with everything I have been going through the last 14 months, with the only difference being that was the first in a long string of events.”
“There is more that is eating at you from the last 14 months then?”
“You might say that, yeah.
“Tell me what else is going on then if you want to.”

Finally frustrated and angry, I can’t take it anymore and I go off on Dr. Lucio.

“Alright you want to know what is really going on with me? When I said “All of it” I really meant “All of it”! So about a year ago it was discovered that I was a caffeine addict. Now everyone seems to think that because I am fucking perfect and that happened so long ago that I must be over with it by now only guess what? I am not over it, not even close! Just like 14 months later I wake up shaking, thinking that I have just been assaulted from behind, I still have mornings where all I want a year later is a cup of coffee, but I know it can’t have one because one leads to another and another and another until my job or even my life is in jeopardy all over again! Maybe this time my Daddy, my brother-in-law, and my husband will all quit speaking to me for good and why shouldn’t they when you consider that I am a complete loser who is failing miserably at everything she tries!

I’m even failing at trying to adopt a child despite the fact that I have more money coming out of my ass than I know what to do with! Don’t believe me? I am 23 years old and I could never work again for the rest of my life and still have more money when I die than several third world countries. Come here and pull my arm down, I dare you! My ass is an ATM or at least it ought to be, and what I want more than is to have a child I can share that with except I can't convince DHS of this, because they are convinced that I would rather be a wrestler! I guess that is perfect symmetry in a way though, because I can’t adopt although I am adopted, which my Momma and Daddy decided not to tell me until last year! Why? Who knows, maybe it all goes back to the fact that I am like I said a complete failure at everything I do, and when my parents realized that they decided to tell me that I was adopted! Although, I am not a complete failure I guess because I am doing a great job volunteering in the community which I adore doing and haven’t been fired from, at least not yet. Wrestling fans do love me though, despite the fact that I do not win very often, though I must say for someone that walks on eggshells most of the time trying to be so fucking perfect for those fans, there is tremendous irony in my win-loss record, right Doc, right!?

Dr. Lucio comes and sits beside me and without even asking for or getting permission, she wraps her arms around and I do not cry, I sob. I sob unashamedly, and listen, while Dr. Lucio is as supportive as anyone has ever been except for Victor and Amy.

“Kelsai, I am so sorry that you are feeling this way. I can't imagine what it was like for you to carry all of that around with you. I promise you honey we will confront all of your issues together. It is going to take time but we are going to get there.”

Dr. Lucio continues to hold me while I sob and me?

I continue to let her.


My Main Event

Bree Lancaster.

I could think back at all of the promos that I have done since I have come to SCW and I will be willing to bet that I have never started out my promo simply by saying the name of my next opponent. But this is different because when that bell rings for my match Wednesday night on Breakdown, standing across from me will be the SCW World Champion, Bree Lancaster. You better believe that a lot of people here in New Orleans are ready for this, being that I live in New Orleans now, have for a little over a year, and Bree, she has lived here all of her life.

Bree also happens to be a friend of mine even if some people are questioning whether or not I am a friend of hers. Maybe I am just being hopeful, but I really believe that I am winning her over, though I have to say that none of that is going to matter come Wednesday night. The World Championship is not on the line in Little Rock, Arkansas, but that does mean that everyone will not be watching because I know that they will. I need to be at my very best, just like I know Bree will be at that World Championship level, that level that I am trying to get to every time out.

Still I wonder as I get ready for the biggest match of my career so far, could I catch Bree looking too far ahead, because she might be a little preoccupied with all that is going on surrounding Rise to Greatness. I mean it is only the biggest event in wrestling that gets bigger and better every single year, and you are in the main event, set to defend the World Championship against the legendary David Helms, while me? Bree no one would blame you if you got distracted against me, looking forward to such amazing confrontation that you have in the not too distant future with David, who even happens to be a brother to the man in your life Dom Teller, so maybe this is even causing a little bit of resentment between you man and his brother, or maybe not I don't know. Truth be told, I hope that nothing like that is even close to happening right now. Just like being in this match against you is the biggest match of my career to date, a win over you, which I am perfectly of doing by the way, would be the biggest win of my career and I want to do it the right way. The right way is not hoping that you are distracted with your match with David at Rise to Greatness or you are more concerned that said match is causing a rift between David and Dom than you are with the match against me.

Doing it the right way would mean that I am getting to face the World Champion while she is at her very best and she is going to get to face me at my best, and for one episode of Breakdown my best is good enough to beat the World Champion. Because I want you to understand something Bree. I didn't just watch the match when you faced James Evans at Cold Blooded to become both the World Champion and the United States Champion nor was I just watching the match when you defeated Aaron Blackbourne at Taking Hold of the Flame to retain the World Championship. I was looking into your eyes Bree and do you know what I saw? I saw a woman that has become the very best wrestler in the world. It was not a lucky coincidence that you beat James, just like it wasn't a fluke that you defeated Aaron either. You won because you are the best now, the standard by which everyone else is now measured in SCW and even beyond.

I saw that you will do what ever it is that you need to do to be recognized as the best in the world, I saw that by looking into your eyes Bree but now I want you to look it to my eyes Bree, because when you look into my eyes just like you will be doing Wednesday night do you know what you are going to see Bree?

A woman who has nothing to lose at this point but so much to gain and whether you want to admit it or not that makes me a very dangerous woman for you to face!

I don't have a match for Rise to Greatness at this point, which means that this match is for all I know right now is my Rise to Greatness and guess what? I going to face the SCW World Champion at my Rise to Greatness, this is my main event right now, so understand when I tell you Bree, I will give it everything I have and more to win this main event.

I hope that you show up ready to give it everything you have as well and we will see at the end who win my main event