Taking Hold of the Flame Battle Royal

[Rachel Foxx]

Being empathetic had never been one of Cassidy Carter’s strong suits. It was probably not at all surprise to most people, but to those who believed her uncaring and aloof nature was simply a character that she portrayed in the ring, they would be disappointed to find that it was her reality.  Cassidy had always been the kind of person who would step over a homeless person without a thought, or if she did give it thought, it was annoyance at the fact that they were in her way.  She wasn’t phased by stories of sick children or injured puppies. The first time she watched Old Yeller with the family, she laughed at the ending.  During her teenage years, she had been known to tear down missing pet flyers, or worse yet, call the owners to give them false hope, then laugh as she watched them waiting with eager anticipation for the return of their pets that would never happen.  She lived for the moment where their faces turned from excited anxiety to depression.  When forced to go to church each week, she made overt attempts to turn priests away from their vow of chastity.  The thought of ruining innocence was a sublime pleasure, and she was determined to be the dirt and filth to corrupt the pure white snow.  

As she grew older, the desire to corrupt weakened. It never truly went away, but she started to realize that not attending church at all was much more fun than trying to corrupt men of the cloth.  Her desire to corrupt any purity left in the world seemed to slowly dissipate.  There was a part of her that hoped this would be accompanied by a blossoming of empathy, but that never seemed to manifest.  She still had an air of apathy and coldness about her that allowed her to turn a blind eye to the suffering of others.  She was never the shoulder to cry on, and she despised anyone who came to her with their problems.  

The only exception to her rule of never allowing herself to take on the problems of others was Austin.  Somehow, he had managed to elicit feelings of affection and love from her icy heart, and a part of her resented him for it.  Austin was the only person whose problems she took to heart, though her usual solution was to punch something or somebody until those problems were gone.  For him, she would be a shoulder to cry on, and a listening ear to lighten his load...though, there was only so much she would take.  Over the course of their friendship and eventual marriage, they had developed a tenuously symbiotic relationship.  She allowed him to air his grievances, but he seemed to understand that there was a finite limit to what she would tolerate.  It wasn’t that she didn’t care, it was just that she was unfamiliar with this role.  In return for allowing him to unburden himself, she received some gratification at the thought that he needed her.  

The relationship between Austin and Cassidy was much like that between a shark and a remora.  At first glance, it would seem like the remora is the only one who benefits from the pairing, feeding off the shark’s scraps, hitching a ride through the ocean.  But, upon closer review, you learn that the relationship truly is symbiotic.  The remora also feeds of parasites that would attach themselves to the shark, and keeps them healthy.  The unseen benefit of her relationship with Austin, is that he seemed to humanize Cassidy.  He made her feel things that she thought she was incapable of, which seemed to ease her mind.  She would probably never be the person to stop and give money to a homeless person, but she at least knew that she was capable of feelings.  

But now, flying across the country, far from the filth and familiarity of Las Vegas, on a quest to check on her older sister’s wellbeing, she felt...annoyed.  While she had developed the ability to emote and feel, it seemed that ability did not extend past Austin...did it?

The plane ride gave her time to reflect on this...time to wonder if she was truly as heartless as she hoped she was.  The truth of the matter is, she could have always ignored the phone calls from her parents.  She knew why they were calling, she had seen the not-so-cryptic tweets from Cailey...everyone had.  She had even used them to engage in one of her favorite pastimes, picking on Simon Lyman.  She truly did hate him, from the moment that her sister lowered herself to the insufferable wannabe Superman’s level.  Cassidy had always thought that Cailey was better than him, and she hated her sister for allowing herself to be ensnared by such a horrible bore.  Cassidy hated the air of self-righteousness and altruism that always emanated from him, and she made no attempt to hide this feeling at family functions.  She constantly picked on him, showing her absolute disdain for him.  Simon, to Cassidy’s absolute frustration, seemed to brush it off as hazing and teasing.  He seemed to have this annoying belief that they were friends, and that she was just teasing her sister’s partner as most sisters would.  He constantly invited Cassidy and Austin to double dates, and sent them Christmas cards.  

Cassidy had never taken the time or effort to consider where this hatred came from.  She had always assumed it was her belief that Simon was a phony.  No one was as nice as he liked to present himself.  If life had taught Cassidy anything, it was that there was a darkness in everyone.  Those who smiled the biggest held the fiercest monsters at bay, struggling against the bonds of phony smiles and generosity.  She saw Simon as the king of the frauds, hiding his selfishness and cruelty behind a veil of altruism and chivalry.  He rode around like a white knight, constantly looking for those he could save, but she believed it was not because of his love of saving people, but his lust for killing monsters.  What better way to mask your cruelty than through service to the greater good.  

He was a fraud, and she was the only one who saw it.

But...was that the only reason she hated him? Was it truly just her disdain for anyone who swooped in like a superhero, or was it something else?

Did she truly love her sister? Was she worried about her older sister’s wellbeing?

Again, she could have always ignored the calls.  She could have refused her parents’ request, casting the responsibility on the shoulders of her other 2 older sisters.  Carlysle and Cassandra should have known that their youngest daughter had little to no capacity for empathy and warmth.  They couldn’t have sent her because of her unveiled hatred for Simon...they had fallen for him hook line and sinker, just like everyone else.  They had even offered to throw a belated birthday for Simon’s daughter at one point.  They loved Angelina, even after meeting her only once.  He had fooled them the same way he fooled everyone around him.  

So, if this wasn’t the reason they sent her, then why?

The thought that she was allowing even more people into her heart absolutely disgusted her.  Cassidy reached up, ringing the flight attendant button over and over until a flight attendant, clearly trying to mask her annoyance behind a professional smile arrived.  Cassidy ordered as much alcohol as they were willing to give her, and she spent the majority of her flight trying to drink the thought away.

Two flights, and an annoying Uber ride later, Cassidy arrived in Martha’s Vineyard.  She couldn’t help but be disgusted by all of it as she was driven across the island.  Insufferable assholes playing badminton and croquet, douchebags sailing massive yachts around the island, morons in boat shoes and sweaters EVERYWHERE!! The further into the island she got, the more Cassidy wanted to burn the whole thing down.  Eventually, the driver turned down a relatively secluded road that darted through a wooded area before coming to a stop at the beginning of a driveway that led to a massive gray estate.  Cassidy tried to hide her amazement, turning back to the Uber driver.

CASSIDY: “Well?”

DRIVER: “Well what?”

Cassidy rolled her eyes.

CASSIDY: “You going to take me down the driveway?”

DRIVER: “That’s not how we do things here.  Most residents of the island prefer we don’t go on the property.”

Cassidy sighed in annoyance.

CASSIDY: “What if I told you this is my sister’s house, which means I’m a part owner of the property.”

DRIVER: “Forgive me ma’am, but...you don’t seem like the Vineyard type.”

She wanted to hit him, but she decided to take his words as a compliment.  Not being the type of person who would live on this insufferable island was a good thing. She thought about harassing the driver a bit more, but decided against it.  She thanked the driver, who reminded her to give him a 5 star rating, before popping the trunk so she could grab the small backpack she had brought, containing 5 pairs of what Cassidy called “emergency Louboutins,”  and began making her way down the driveway.  She pulled her phone from her pocket, and made sure to give her driver a single star rating as he drove off down the wooded road.  

As Cassidy made her way up the driveway, she couldn’t help but look around the property. The house itself was absolutely massive, far too much house considering it was just Simon and Cailey who lived there...or...just Cailey now. The house was a massive gray and white monstrocity with 7 bedrooms, 8.5 bathrooms, a home gym, multiple porches, a breathtaking sunroom, a pool, and as if that wasn’t enough, a private pond.  It was the type of property most people aspired to, and it made Cassidy absolutely sick.  It wasn’t just the fact that she hated this kind of overcompensatory display of wealth, it was the fact that it all felt like a gilded cage, meant to keep her sister imprisoned.  There was no doubt that he made it seem like the house was a gift to her, and that he was just trying to make her happy, but it felt to Cassidy like he had bought her a new gilded cage, and found a subtle way to assert his dominance over her.  The house was way more than Cailey could have afforded on her own.  It was meant to keep her tied to him.  Cassidy despised the entire thing immediately.  As she arrived at the front door, she considered knocking, but decided against it.  She turned the knob, and found the door unlocked.   She pushed the door open, and barged into the house, yelling as she did.  

CASSIDY: “HONEY, I’M HOME!!!!!”

There was no reply.  She looked around and found the house was absolutely immaculate which worried her.  To most people, this would not have even warranted any kind of reaction.  They would have looked around and complimented the cleanliness of the property.  But, Cassidy knew this was a bad thing.  Whenever Cailey was truly upset, she turned to cleaning, and not what most people thought of as cleaning, a once over with a mop and a few rags. No, when Cailey was truly upset, she cleaned as if she was trying to clean the impurities out of her own soul.   Looking around the house, it looked as if it had been staged by a realtor.  Nothing was out of place, not a spoon, not a napkin, not a speck of dust, nothing.  The house was immaculate.  Cassidy felt something tugging at her heart.  She thought about turning around, walking out, bumping her flight up and flying the hell back home, but her feet refused to turn around.  Instead, she began walking slowly through the house, calling out to her sister as she did.

CASSIDY: “Cailey?”

She moved through the kitchen and into the dinning room, where the table was set as if there was a dinner party planned.  Plates, napkins and silverware were set out with absolute precision, lined up on each side of the table perfectly.  The tugging at her heart got stronger as she called out again.  


CASSIDY: “Cailey?”

Still no response.  Cassidy pushed further into the house, somewhat scared, and yet somewhat amused that she might find her sister’s rotting corpse, displayed in some overdramatic last display.  As she moved, there was only the sounds she made, the creaking of a few loose floorboards, and the sounds of the birds chirping outside.  She continued moving through the house, checking each room she came across until she finally came to the master bedroom.  She tapped lightly on the door, calling out again.

CASSIDY: “Cail…”

On the king sized bed she saw a lump in the sheets, that did not move, even as she made noise.  Before she knew what was happening, Cassidy bolted into the room, hopped on the bed and started pulling at the blankets.

CASSIDY: “CAILEY!!”

She continued to pull until her sister’s weary, tear soaked eyes looked up at her. Cassidy felt a wave of relief as her sister started moving.  She stepped back from the bed and looked around the room.  The walls were absolutely barren, as multiple large framed photographs sat on the floor, facing the wall.  

So, the rumors were true...the old man had left her.  There was probably no one in the world who was happier about this than Cassidy, but she could see her sister was hurting, so she tried her best to bottle her excitement.  Cailey struggled to keep herself from crying again, then turned away from her sister, burying herself in her blanket.  Cassidy hesitated for a moment, then finally spoke.  Her voice wasn’t the usual boisterous holler, instead it was soft and hesitant.

CASSIDY: “So...I guess the rumors are true then.”

Her sister didn't reply, and the silence hung awkwardly between the two. Cassidy was not used to being in this side of one of these moments. As much as she pretended to despise her older sister in public, she had come to count on Cailey to be there in her times of need. She would always push her away of course, you can never tip your hand in a situation like that, but she was always relieved to have her. Now, she needed to pay back all of that support and love, and she didn't know how. In her heart, she truly wanted to help, but she wasn't used to this kind of thing. Nothing proves that more than the words that escaped her lips next.

CASSIDY: “Weird to think I am the one with a functioning marriage...huh?”

Fuck!!! No response again as she kicked herself internally. She had thought a nine might possibly lighten the mood. Unfortunately, she didn't realize how harsh the joke was until she heard it out loud. Again, awkward silence hung in the air.  

CASSIDY: “I’m sorry. I’m...I’m not very good at this kind of thing.”

Cassidy began to look around the room, taking in what she saw as the ridiculousness of it all.  The room had a king-size bed, a night stand, an accent chair, and a desk on each side of the bed, and yet there was still a ton of room.  Cassidy moved quietly to the on-suite bathroom, and found it to be not as over the top as she thought it would be.  It was a nice bathroom, with a huge bathtub, but there was no ridiculous gold accents or anything that she had expected from this ridiculous house.  She sighed in disappointment, and was about to pop her head out when something caught her eye.  It couldn’t be what she thought it was.  Cassidy took a step into the bathroom, looking down into a small trash can. It would have been easy to miss, easy to brush off as nothing, to ignore and move past, but Cassidy’s attention went right to it.  Sitting alone in the garbage can, was a single used pregnancy test.  She told herself to ignore it, but still found herself reaching down and picking it out of the trash.  The first line was dark, as it always is, but next to it...there was just a hint of a second line.  It was very faint, most people would have probably passed it off as nothing, but...she knew.  Cassidy sighed, debating whether or not to say anything, wishing she could just drop it and ignore that this all had happened.  She hesitated for a moment, then walked out of the bathroom.

CASSIDY: “Cailey...is this?”

There was a long pause before Cailey rolled over, popping her head out of the blanket to look at her, her blue eyes wide and shrink wrapped in tears which began streaking down her cheeks again.

CASSIDY: “Is this...what I think it is?”

Cailey didn’t speak, just a small nod.

CASSIDY: “Are you…?”


CAILEY: “I don’t know.”


Her voice was small and broken, tugging at Cassidy’s heart. She paused for a minute, then…

CASSIDY: “Does he know that you might be?”

Another pause.

CAILEY: “No.”

Cassidy signed.  This is why her parents had sent her here, but how would they have known? How would they have known about any of it?  

CASSIDY: “Have you been to see a doctor yet?”

Cailey shook her head.  Cassidy understood.  If she never visited the doctor, if she never had her fears confirmed, none of it would be real.  Unfortunately, that isn’t how things worked.  

CASSIDY: “So...what are you going to do now?”

There was another long pause, then…

CAILEY “I don’t know.”

She was sobbing.  Cassidy sighed again, this is not how she would have preferred to spend her off time, but she was here now, and she was a part of this now.  Cailey looked up at her little sister.

CAILEY: “What do I do now?”

Cassidy sighed again, softly nibbling on the inside of her cheek as she hesitated for a minute or two.  She hated opening up to people, but she could see that her sister was hurting  Cassidy sat down on the foot of the bed, her eyes staring off at the wall as the words began pouring out of her.

CASSIDY: “A few years ago...shortly after Austin broke up with Kennedy, we…”

She paused for a moment.

CASSIDY: “...you know.  It was a spur of the moment thing, and we didn’t have protection. But, in that moment, it didn’t matter.  It was one of those times where we didn’t stop to think of the repercussions, we were just living in the moment.”

She paused again.  This was the first time she was actually telling this story, and while she wasn’t excited about it, there was a part of her that was happy to be getting it off her chest.

CASSIDY: “About a month and a half later, I missed my period.  I didn’t think much about it at the time, until the morning sickness kicked in.  A few days later, a doctor confirmed what I feared was the case...I was pregnant.”

She paused again, as her older sister was now looking up at her with wide eyes.

CASSIDY: “The next day, I decided to...take care of the pregnancy, and while I understand the vibe I give off as a spur of the moment, impulsive girl...it was not a decision I took lightly.  I chose not to tell Austin at the time, as I didn’t want him to carry the same burden I did.  It was the hardest decision I ever made, but I knew it was the best for everyone.  I wasn’t ready to be a mother by any stretch of the imagination, and Austin was not ready to be a father again.”

It was hard for her, but she needed to get it out.

CASSIDY: “I remember every mile of the drive to the clinic...I remember every single insult the protestors yelled at me as I made my way into the door.  They called me a slut, a whore, a murderer...they made sure I knew I was going to hell for what I was about to do.  I remember every moment of the procedure, and I remember being berated on my way back to my car.  The next few weeks, I tried to drink the pain away, to forget what I had done in a waterfall of whisky and tequila.  It worked for a while.  The farther I got away from that day, the less I seemed to think of it.”

She paused, taking a deep breath before continuing.

CASSIDY: “That is when the nightmares started.  Every night, I see the face of my baby, looking at me with disappointment.  I hear it calling out to me, begging me to let it live, begging me to give it a chance.  I’ve come to grips with the fact that this is something I am going to have to live with for the rest of my life.  I will bear this burden until the day I die, and if there is an afterlife, it will most likely be the thing that condemns me to an eternity of suffering.  And yet…while I will carry this pain and this guilt with me through every day of my life...I know I made the correct decision, and I do not regret it.”

Cassidy fell silent, sitting under the weight of her confession.  It had been so long that she had carried that with her, it felt really good to get it off her chest.  She had only recently been able to confess it to her husband, who to his credit, seemed to understand it.  He was supportive of her, and did his best to reassure her that she had made the right decision.  But, finally telling her story to someone else was good.

Cailey sat up, her eyes still fixed on Cassidy.  She paused for a moment, then leaned in and hugged her sister.  It felt amazing, but there was still a part of her that couldn’t accept love, and wanted to shake her sister off.  She fought the urge, allowing herself to be loved for a moment.  They sat in silence for a few moments before Cailey spoke.

CAILEY: “So...what do I do?”

Silence again, Cassidy wanted to say a million things, chief among which was that Cailey needed to talk to the old bastard.  But, it wasn’t her decision to make.  In the end, as much as she wanted to make this better, this was her sister’s decision to make.  

CASSIDY: “I don’t know...you should probably start by seeing a doctor. Nothing is certain until you do.”

CAILEY: “Will you go with me?”

This is the part where she was supposed to say no.  Cassidy Carter didn’t do compassion, she didn’t do empathy. And yet, the words came out before she even had a moment to think.

CASSIDY: “Of course I will.”

She paused for a moment, reaching over and wrapping her arms around her sister, holding Cailey’s head to her shoulder.

CASSIDY: “I’m with you to the end.”


--------------------------------------------------

The scene opens in a massive sunroom, as we see Cassidy Carter, wearing a black hoodie with the hood up, and sipping on a cup of coffee. She reaches up and adjusts her phone, making sure she is centered in the picture, then takes another sip of her coffee before speaking into the camera.

CASSIDY: “Well...here we go again.  As you all know, I hate having to do these stupid little videos, and yet it seems to a prerequisite to me being able to kick people’s asses.  So, if I have to sit here and talk to you filthy pieces of garbage to be able to strangle a whole bunch of people, then so be it.”

She pauses, sipping her coffee.

CASSIDY: “So...where do we start?  Well, it would seem that the last few months haven’t exactly gone my way, have they?  From the pinnacle of the company, number 1 contender to the SCW World Championship, to the undercard in almost record time.  It’s been...quite the journey.”


She pauses for a moment.

CASSIDY: “Now, this is the part where I am supposed to go on my normal tirade about the fact that I don’t chase brass rings, and I couldn’t give a fuck about that stupid little belt.  Rachel spent so much of my training trying to show me that title belts were little more than systems of control, leashes meant to keep us all subservient to management as they made fistfuls of money on the back of our hard work.  For every penny that we make, they make a dollar, and they don’t have to work for their cut.  Those belts are meant to keep us distracted as they veil that fundamental truth from us.  And the sad thing about it all, is that it seems to work.  We all ignore the injustice of this split because we are too busy fighting each other over these meaningless little trinkets.  For the longest time, I even believed that I was capable of seeing the world the way my mentor did, piercing the curtain to expose the bumbling little man who controlled all of our fates.  I wanted so bad to believe that I could continue where she left off, tearing down the pillars of this massive hypocrisy.  I was going to be Moses, leading the roster to some kind of new utopia where we controlled our own fates, and made our own rules.  I wanted to be everything she saw in me and more.”

She pauses again, sipping hesitantly on her coffee.  

CASSIDY: “But...if I am forced to be honest with myself, and with you peasants...I have to admit that I am amused by the prospect of these brass rings.  I took pride in the fact that I disappointed you all by succeeding where I was meant to fail.  I was thrown to the wolves as a sacrifice, meant to be an appetizer before they moved on to bigger and better things.  Instead, I proved that I too was a wolf, capable of tearing apart those who were meant to be my downfall.  I relished my spot as the number one contender, even managing to keep that spot when they tried to take it away from me.  I succeeded in an environment designed for me to fail, and I threw off the balance of the company.  I was the wrench that was thrown in the gears of SCW’s status quo, and I absolutely loved it.  I sat here and told you all that I didn’t care if I ended up with the SCW Championship...told you that just being perched this close to the summit was good enough for me.”

She readjusts herself, sitting up in her chair and moving closer to the camera.

CASSIDY: “But...you don’t get that close to the top without developing a hunger for more.  No one has ever climbed Mt. Everest, just to stop before the summit, and climb back down.  No matter what the circumstances, if you come that close to glory, there will always be a big part of you that wants to see it through.  And I...WANT...that SCW Championship!!  I am done lying to myself, trying to convince myself that I am satisfied with what I have accomplished.  I came close to the pinnacle, but I failed in my ultimate pursuit.  And I would be lying if I told you that failure didn’t stick with me.  It has consumed me, tortured me, mocked me since that very moment.  Now, I could also sit here and tell you it wasn’t my fault.  Subject to interference and outside influences, the deck was further stacked against me.”

She pauses for a moment, her icy blue eyes looking to the floor before coming back up to meet the camera.

CASSIDY: “But, I am done trying to blame others for my own shortcomings.  Yes, it may not have gone my way, other pawns deciding that they would try and co-opt my moment of glory should not have been able to stop me.  Glory was mine to reach, and in the end, it was I who failed to grab it.  So, there is nothing more to do, than to fight my way back. It is up to me to grab hold of my own fate, and to create my own opportunities.”

She pauses again for dramatic effect, sipping her coffee.  

CAsSIDY: “So...here we are.  Standing in for my husband, I have returned to claim what is rightfully mine.  I will not whine and complain.  I will not beg for a second chance, or a do-over.  No, I am going to scratch and claw my way back, even if it means breaking dozens of other assholes along the way.  I realize that I am not the only one who wants this so badly I can taste it.  The ring will be full of competitors aspiring to be the next SCW Champion.  I cannot speak for what they are willing to do to snatch this opportunity away from me.  All I can speak to is my heart, and my desire.  I want this...it is the only thing I have been able to think about since the day I was forced to walk out of that ring empty handed.  I will not fail, I will not falter, and I am willing to sacrifice my body if it means I get another shot at that brass ring.  I know that it may not mean anything, and that it may actually be just a tool of control as Rachel says it does.  But, to me...that belt means absolutely EVERYTHING!!! You saw what I did to earn my way into that spot the first time, falling the pillars of this company one by one as I proved that this is MY time.  What do you think I can do now that I am driven by a hunger I didn’t have that time.  What do you think I can do, now that I have the memory of that failure giving chase behind me? This isn’t about proving anything to the world, or to any of the other participants in this match.  This is about proving to myself that I deserve this.  This is about proving that I can do it again. I will not fail...because I CANNOT fail!!”

She pauses again, setting her cup down and leaning forward in her seat to stare directly into the camera.

CASSIDY: “When all is said and done, I will stand triumphant, and I will earn my spot at Rise to Greatness.  I will succeed where my mentor failed, and I will finally prove that I am everything I have been told I can never be, even if I have to lose my soul to do it.  This is MY time, and if you think you can stand in my way, and stop me...you had better be ready to kill me, because I will do whatever it takes to take hold of the flame, and burn this company to the ground around me!!!”

Cassidy laughs as she sits back in her seat, picking up her mug and sipping from it as she reaches up and grabs her phone,  The picture shakes for a moment, then goes black as she ends the recording.