06-01-2019, 12:00 AM
SO WHERE WERE WE?
The scene opens up to with the KABLAM News Network logo on the big screen! Chesty LaRue, our famously well-endowed anchorwoman, sits on top of the news desk now in a dress that looks like it had to be physically stitched onto her. Her legs crossed over, wedged in place by the tightness of the dress, hang over the edge of the table, and her best assets protrude out in awe-inspiring 3D on a 2D camera. She smiles her pearly whites for the camera as the scene fades in.
Chesty: “When we last left Man-Mountain Derek Adonis, the King of KABLAM, he had fallen in defeat at the hands of… what was it? Scarlet Gray for the Television Champion? Or maybe it was his Tabula Rasa victory over Total Terror?”
She pauses and thinks about it, the blood flow to her brain possibly being inhibited by the tight dress she is stuck in.
Chesty: “It’s so hard to figure out what’s what anymore when you’re as in-demand as the Lady’s Man’s Man, but Derek finds a way to keep on keeping on as only he can. But we’re now on the cusp of Rise to Greatness season, with Taking Hold of the Flame just around the corner, and I can confirm to you now that, in addition to the KABLAMpress, Cookie, hosting the show, Derek Adonis WILL be one of the 40 competitors in the big battle royale!”
Chesty cannot contain her excitement, bouncing in delight of the news she just shared, nearly popping out of her dress in what would’ve been the greatest moment in KNN’s short history. She catches herself and readjusts her top, making it among the saddest.
Chesty: “And believe me… if Man-Mountain has anything to say about it, we’ll be headlong on the road to RISE TO KABLAM! I mean, who could possibly beat him? Casterillo? That guy’s a joke. BUT ANYWAY… I’ve been Chesty LaRue! Signing out!
The logo comes onto the screen before going to black.
The scene opens up to with the KABLAM News Network logo on the big screen! Chesty LaRue, our famously well-endowed anchorwoman, sits on top of the news desk now in a dress that looks like it had to be physically stitched onto her. Her legs crossed over, wedged in place by the tightness of the dress, hang over the edge of the table, and her best assets protrude out in awe-inspiring 3D on a 2D camera. She smiles her pearly whites for the camera as the scene fades in.
Chesty: “When we last left Man-Mountain Derek Adonis, the King of KABLAM, he had fallen in defeat at the hands of… what was it? Scarlet Gray for the Television Champion? Or maybe it was his Tabula Rasa victory over Total Terror?”
She pauses and thinks about it, the blood flow to her brain possibly being inhibited by the tight dress she is stuck in.
Chesty: “It’s so hard to figure out what’s what anymore when you’re as in-demand as the Lady’s Man’s Man, but Derek finds a way to keep on keeping on as only he can. But we’re now on the cusp of Rise to Greatness season, with Taking Hold of the Flame just around the corner, and I can confirm to you now that, in addition to the KABLAMpress, Cookie, hosting the show, Derek Adonis WILL be one of the 40 competitors in the big battle royale!”
Chesty cannot contain her excitement, bouncing in delight of the news she just shared, nearly popping out of her dress in what would’ve been the greatest moment in KNN’s short history. She catches herself and readjusts her top, making it among the saddest.
Chesty: “And believe me… if Man-Mountain has anything to say about it, we’ll be headlong on the road to RISE TO KABLAM! I mean, who could possibly beat him? Casterillo? That guy’s a joke. BUT ANYWAY… I’ve been Chesty LaRue! Signing out!
The logo comes onto the screen before going to black.