What would everyone say if I just continued where I was in the last column? Maybe even touched on the same headings? Granted, it may not be as awesome or cynical as then. Maybe the impact isn’t there. Perhaps those issues have been resolved. But what would you say if I just did that for like a year. Every column, same four things piss me off. And THEN, a new column comes up on the site. It’s not the Cynical View. It’s the Pissed off Perspective. And it covers the SAME subjects. Now while my writing may draw you in. Some may keep checking because they want to see if I have some great line, but probably people are going to feel rather disappointed about these commonalities. Same crap, different pile…LITERALLY.

Then why the hell does everyone else do it? Have you read the roleplays for some of SCW’s recent shows? Seriously. Go and spend a couple of hours and do it. Lord knows I do regularly. And let me be clear, this is not saying that quality is in the crapper. People are getting better in other ways, but at the same time, I now can’t go one show without seeing three to five people having a similar piece of character development…or some people writing the same promo they’ve been cutting since 2005.

Get NEW material! That’s the point. What’s this whole deal about? It’s simple. Where has all the creativity gone? Just not to the tune of a Pete Seeger song. I mean it. No screwing around on this one. I’m sick of reading some of the same stories, the same angles, the same everything! No more! This is my plea for people to start thinking a bit more, damn it!

So here we go!

Why does everyone hate authority?

Okay, I’m not saying this one because I’m technically the authority and ridiculously paranoid that everyone hates me. Let’s look past the strong possibility that I cry myself to sleep as a result of everyone apparently questioning my decision making process.

But SERIOUSLY?!

I get it. People get pissed off at authority. They make decisions they don’t care for. I don’t like it when the guy at the coffee shop doesn’t mix my coffee well enough. I don’t cut fourteen promos about how they’re against me and plotting my demise!

Yet some people see that if they don’t agree with you, apparently, that means the Board of Directors is against you. The roster is made up of some of the most egotistical people on the planet. My god, I wasn’t booked in the top of the hour match, someone on the board HATES ME! Well screw you, body of ten that only three have names! Screw you!

The problem I have is not this in general. In fact, some of the storylines directly lend themselves to people taking issue with the board (off the top of my head, Thirteen, Hurse, Dark Fantasy, and to a lesser extent, Jackson Adams, Tatum McGraw and Foxx Global could all realistically claim some problems with the board due to various character issues, or the storylines). But contemplate this. I have had on some cards in recent memory, BOTH sides in the matches claiming that the match is the Board being biased against them. Seriously. It’s the go to content for many people. It’s just like I’d see after someone loses a title and if they were in any way a heel (read: EVERYONE), the board showed that they didn’t care about them and are biased SOBs who wanted to see them fail. Can you not see how aggravating it is to read MINIMUM six to ten roleplays A SHOW (especially pay per views) where a focal point of the promo is this? I could start naming names, but that’s mean. In fact, Body, Heart and Soul is a great example. Read the promos and you’ll see why at times I wanted to further cry to sleep (not because you all hate my fictional decision making, but because I tapped out.)

I get it. People can’t take responsibility. Great. But be creative. The problem is…some people mention it every pay per view. They could be given a title match: “The board wants to set me on fire and roast marshmallows with my corpse….the biased little bastards!” But I’ll flat out say this. I can name at least ten people who use this not because it helps their character. It’s entirely used because IT’S A CRUTCH. Why think of creative reasons to explain losses or how you haven’t won your title yet when you can just claim the Board kicked your (non-existent?) child at the playground yesterday.

It’s all well and good if there’s a legit reason on the show. The Jake Starr/Thirteen angle at Body, Heart and Soul, for example, lent itself to it. Hurse has the same claim with how his storyline has been done. But everyone? The problem is that at some point, you’re wrong. At some point, you’re showing your character is either paranoid or stupid. At some point, I tune out because I’ve read it before. At some point, no one gives a damn if the board hates you as you’ve given up trying to actually come up with a good angle. At some point, you just turn into everyone else who bashes the board and the problem is…when that happens…well…I don’t want to spoil it. Keep reading!

Why is everyone suddenly having massive amounts of sex?

Okay, let’s get this out of the way. I don’t mind sex. I don’t mind sex in roleplays. I have an open mind to this subject in roleplays. I have no problem with homosexual, bisexual or heterosexual sexual content in roleplays. Characters have relationships, whether with other characters or secondary characters specifically for that character, male or female. Some are kinkier than others. Some need to hang from the ceiling when they do. Others want to wear the pants. Whatever. Great. I have no problem with sexual content in roleplays.

But, I have to ask this question….Was there a guy passing out Viagra in the back a couple of months ago and EVERYONE got incredibly horny?

And not only that, everyone is having promiscuous sex. Based off Twitter and roleplays, I swear this is what most people do between roleplays and shows:

Random SCW wrestler 1: “So, you have various sexual organs? Have you used them in the last fourteen minutes?”

Random secondary character/other SCW character/hot blonde at the bar: “Why yes I do and no I haven’t. Let’s go back to your extravagantly expensive hotel room and make passionate love?”

And here’s where the shift is.

If it’s a random character: “Excellent. This will show I can attract young females/males and enjoy life. Life is good.”

If it’s an SCW character: “Now I’m going to have an off and on again relationship for any time stretching between four minutes and a lifetime!”

And if that doesn’t work, you’ll turn to lesbianism. Seriously, half of the female roster has had sex with another member of the female roster in a roleplay since October. HALF. I’m not even exaggerating. Again, that’s fine and all. In some cases, it’s a key part of the character evolution. In others, it shows them being adventurous. All valid character development. The content itself I have no problem with. But the problem is…outside of a select few, it’s done for the sake of doing it. I’m not sure why. Is this to enact some fantasies in roleplay form (I note this with many female characters being written by male handlers)? Yeah, roleplaying is a form of escapism, but half the time, characters are taken down this route and for what reason?

It’s almost become a rite of passage for female characters. It’s done for the sake of doing it. It’s done to be “edgy.” The problem is, it ceases being edgy when EVERYONE has roleplays on the subject. It ceases to have much point also if everyone just does it because well, why not?! And it’s a shame as there have been some very good characters that have come through SCW and been homosexual or bisexual and it’s a pivotal part of their character. Now, it seems to be done just because it’s an avenue the character could go down. When in doubt, have them have sex with their friends.

Sexual scenes in roleplays can be VERY good. They can add some extra levels of intimacy to certain relationships and actually add layers to characters. The problem is that especially with half the roster apparently making it their mission to screw everyone else, face or heel, friend or foe, male or female and just for the sake of doing it, again, I tune out only because it’s becoming par for the course for a number of characters in SCW. It’s no longer a successful development piece. It’s rarely used as a key character element. It’s done to do it. All it means is those who do it well need to try harder to make sure it’s a pivotal element and not a throw-away scene to keep someone reading a roleplay on an off-week.

Wait? I’m supposed to know EVERYTHING going on?

And this gets me to my point for both….in both cases, what would be valid development concepts for characters would be far more effective if people just every once and while actually read someone else’s roleplay. I’m going to point something out to everyone on the roster. I’m going to give you a moment to prepare yourself for this earth-shattering news.

Ready?

 

Are you sure?

 

Alright…here goes….

I READ EVERYONE’S WORK!

So if you happen to write something similar to someone else, GUESS WHAT? You’re going to be compared to it. Roleplaying is relative. Not just to your opponent but to everyone else. Especially when CREATIVITY matters. If half the roster has roleplays about how they slept with some hot blonde in a bar, only the best of the best will have a fighting chance and those that do it more poorly are going to suffer. Add to the fact that you may actually hurt what may otherwise be a good roleplay. I see it often. People have a great promo and they ruin it by doing something that half the roster is doing and they don’t realize it. Let me just give some examples RIGHT NOW (mid-Feb 2013) of common things I see in roleplays (not even going into promos):

– emotional conversations with close friends/girlfriends/boyfriends (not normal happy hanging out, emotional, are we sure, soap opera/The O.C. level stuff)

– Someone is in the hospital and this forces the main character to cut a soliloquy on how much they mean to them.

– Someone comes to someone’s house, they tell this person their philosophy on life, some sexual tension (or flat out sex), promo

– Randomly wealthy character flaunts wealth in clichéd ways

And that’s just off the top of my head. And I didn’t go into promos. I’m not saying the above concepts suck either. It’s more that you sometimes need to realize that other people are doing similar things. This doesn’t mean you need to change it either (especially if your backstory is building to this…although, in many ways, I would question how many people legitimately are building to one of those ideas). It may mean you need to up your game, write it better, make it stand out in your own way.

But I don’t know how to smile and be happy? That’s what being a face is, right?

And this leads to me to the problem of being a face. The fact is everyone wants to be a heel. It’s easier. You can just be a jerk and voila, instant heel. In fact, I would say at least half of the people claiming to be a face right now are just as heelish as the heel portion of the roster. And I’ll again stress. It has less to do with whether they want to be face or heel. It has to do with the fact that being a heel means less effort…somewhat.

I said somewhat.

I’ll tell you why. If everyone is a heel, it’s harder to stand out. Just being arrogant doesn’t work. Just being violent does work. Just being ditzy doesn’t work. Just being this, that or the other doesn’t work. You actually have to work harder on adding the layers to your character. And how is that often done….look above. People don’t get much more creative. They go to further clichés.

The fact is that being a face is NOT necessarily easier. It’s more that it may take you a bit longer to establish what motivates your character. You don’t need to kiss babies, shake hands, take your vitamins, be a role-model, etc. You need to be someone people can get behind. Whether you just go out there and are a no-nonsense ass-kicking machine, or someone who is the kid who is living out his dream, to someone who stands up for underdogs, to BEING an underdog….all of those don’t require you to be the “smiling babyface.”

The problem is that people equate heels to being the “smiling babyface” (Which admittedly IS hard to write only because it’s hard not to get dopey and look way out of touch) or the “rebel bad ass” (which in my opinion is EQUALLY as hard only because most people who try this just bury people and figure it’s a license to be a cheered heel…not quite). But there’s a lot more to do and honestly, if some people figured going face made sense and thought about it for a few moments, thought about their character and often, just emphasized certain matters more than others, it can pay off MASSIVE as you add to your character, get those layers and STAND OUT. That’s the point of this whole rambling column. STAND OUT. Take five minutes longer to think things out, come up with a long-term plan (and not necessarily detailed) and voila, you may have a character that people remember or you have a great story and it rides you to greatness.

Taking crap and shining it up to AWESOMENESS

This is what it’s all about. There is NOTHING wrong with the ideas I mentioned above. NOTHING. Except that everyone is using them and often in the exact same ways. The same goes when people take one of those clichéd ideas or even simple ideas. If they’re executed well, they stand out just on that alone. But if your character adds something different to the scene, it becomes unique, it only gets better. It stands out more. I can’t then swap names out and interchange roleplays which sadly is starting to become more prevalent. And it’s only going to continue if half the roster tries to sleep with the other half and everyone blames the Board of Directors for everything. Come on guys. You know you’re better than that. You know you can come up with something that’s distinctly for your characters.

That’s all I ask. Take a chance and break the mould. Be the first you and all that jazz. Stand out from the crowd and blah, blah, blah. Insert a few more clichés here and you’ll get the point. I’d come up with a better ending, but well, the Board of Directors didn’t let me and Dark Fantasy and I are going to have a threesome.