Many individuals were interested by the following comments that I had posted on the SCW boards:
“And yet talking smack is, in good promo-writing, such a small portion. Fortunately, most people think that if they just trash-talk, they’re set and thus few people actually know how to write a good promo.”
– Posted on August 25, 2009
This really got me to thinking about how much this misconception of promo-writing has permeated e-fedding. I read countless of roleplays a year and over six years, this misconception has been present virtually every show and arguably in the overwhelming majority of matches.
Now, I’m going to make this disclaimer. The comments I will be expressing, first off, don’t pertain to one individual or another. These are things that I consistently see from a variety of people (and feds) and as I’ve just mentioned, over and over again. Secondly, there are always exceptions and good writing can always overcome a lot of these problems I list below. Furthermore, I will add that some may suggest that if they see their opponents doing any of the issues I list below would equate to a win for them. Hardly. Regardless of these mistakes or poor habits, if their roleplay is still better written or if you have your own fair share of these mistakes, it is still possible that they may win. These mistakes are only death knells if their roleplays are riddled with them OR if there is a particularly close match in which the smaller mistakes become amplified. These won’t equate to an instant loss, is what I am trying to say. I mainly state this because as I said, these issues and misconception, in my opinion, are so wide spread, that rarely is a match free of these.
So, just to also, help out in the structure of this article, I am going to first define a few terms. Afterwards, I’m going to point out how certain mistakes (usually stemming from burying one’s opponent) can really get me to bang my head against the wall.
DEFINITION #1:
Promo – A promo is traditionally viewed as the portion of a roleplay that talks about relevant matches, storylines, etc. Please remember this if you’re having difficulty remembering what a promo is. Promo is the root word of Promotion or more appropriately, the root of the verb “to promote.” You are promoting your match. You are promoting your angle/storyline, etc.
When in doubt, a promo should, in general, do three things:
1. Promote yourself
2. Promote your opponent(s)
3. Promote the match/storyline, etc.
You want these things to look good. I will explain why in an unorthodox fashion. I will explain this by contrasting this to two other terms that people perceive are the same as a promo.
DEFINITION #2:
Trash-Talk – Trash-talk is what it is. It is insulting your opponent or making fun of them. I will right now stress that trash-talk is not necessarily a bad thing. Trash-talking is a very powerful tool in fact. Trash-talking can help add comedy or even some seriousness to a match, depending on how it is used. Often, trash-talking can deal with an opponent’s appearance, actions, habits, name, etc. This has always been around in wrestling and I would be naive to suggest this is unwanted in roleplaying. It is going to happen and that’s fine. It is a perfectly acceptable aspect of a promo. HOWEVER, it also can be a part of my third definition. Trash-talking is tricky because it can be good or bad. It all depends on how it is used. But in general, trash-talking can add a lot of a character’s personality into a promo. But it also can push things too far over the edge and turn a good promo into a horrible one.
DEFINITION #3:
Burial – This is somewhat self-explanatory again. A lot of you should know what this is. It is when you “bury” your opponent. This stems from a wrestling term that means to make your opponent look bad. More appropriately, it makes your opponent look weak. This is where the problems result. Generally, burials come from trash-talking about a opponent’s skills in the ring or their record or their title, etc. It deals with something that directly relates to their ability. In general, this is where people shoot themselves in the proverbial foot. I have seen some excellent promos start off so promisingly and then it turns into how badly can we destroy any credibility their opponent has. There is a problem to this and I will spell it out below.
But quite simply, if your opponent has no credibility of being ANY threat, what is the point? Burials do the exact opposite of what a promo is supposed to do. Instead of giving your opponent any credit and giving a reason for us to care about the match, it makes you look like aoverwhelming superior. That’s fine. The problem is quite simply after the match.
Let us show this in a colourful equation:
Wrestler X vs. Wrestler Y > Wrestler X buries Wrestler Y > Wrestler X wins > Wrestler X beats a nothing
Wrestler X vs. Wrestler Y > Wrestler X buries Wrestler Y > Wrestler X loses > Wrestler X looks like a nobody because he was beaten by a nobody
See how things are lose/lose. You gain nothing from the match. NOTHING. If you promote yourself or the match, you at least gain something, win or lose. It’s not that difficult.
But here are some of the specific examples that really make me actually laugh at roleplayers when they bury their opponents:
I have your grave ready for you. I’m going to effectively put you in there and then throw the dirt on top….oh wait…you have a nice watch I want.
The problem is that when you bury your opponent and make them look like a complete waste of time, you do lead to the problem that you gain nothing win or lose from them. This is the major issue with it. However, there are several more comical issues that result from this as well. This is the most common.
When you bury someone and then later give them ANY credit. I don’t care what it is. I can be that they got one over your. It can be that they got a big win. It can be whatever. You effectively are backtracking regardless. And either way, you’re now saying you’re wrong. But, remember, most roleplayers don’t want their characters to look weak. So they never outright say they were wrong. They dance around it and just flat out give them credit, rarely without any rationale for their change of thought. Needless to say, you either look like you’re no longer confident and thus you’re worried about nothing (literally) or you look like an idiot because you’ve got your foot in your character’s mouth. Regardless it does you little favours.
But wait! What if my character is an arrogant heel, this seems to be impossible to get around.
Ah. My foolish friend. You would think so. I will admit, being a face makes it a lot easier to promote your opponent. At the same time, it’s a lot harder to show a differentiation of character from the bland face. For a heel, it’s easier to show character. You have to be more careful about burying your opponent though. It’s a difficult balancing act, but allow me to point out just one of the many ways people can avoid burying their opponent while still being arrogant.
Give your opponent some credit, but brush it off. Perhaps say they aren’t ready yet. Perhaps say they haven’t won that big one (if you’ve won the World Championship or another title and they haven’t). You’re not burying them. You’re questioning whether they are ready. In general, avoid talking about whether their opponents mean anything (there’s a difference between saying they are irrelevant and saying they are nothing). I say this because if you’ve faced those same opponents and you’ve buried them, you’re also effectively burying yourself. You can always discuss whether they deserve the shot or whether they are ready for the shot. You can try to get in their head. You can say you’re better than them. But never say they are nothing. Better yet, never firmly state they don’t deserve it or aren’t ready. Merely question it. It may seem weaker, but strong writing can make it actually stronger.
There is no competition in my division and that’s why I don’t defend the titles. So don’t call me on that!
Ugh. Do I even have to point out the stupidity of this logic? A champion NEVER admits there is NO competition. He/she can question the validity of his competition, but that I only suggest in a lengthy reign to establish confidence as well as dominance. However, never admit there is NO competition. The problem with that line of reasoning (especially when you’re facing someone for that title) is that it devalues the championship. If you’re holding a title with no contenders, what is the point? You’re now holding a piece of leather that has a golden faceplate on it and apparently has a fancy name. But none of it means anything.
Alternately, challengers should never state a champion is undeserving without a good reason (and that reason should never hinge on the wrestler’s limited ability). If your opponent is running from a challenge, bring that up. But NEVER state your opponent didn’t deserve the title because they can’t wrestle. Why? Just think. You win the title. So what? You beat an undeserving or underqualified champion. You, by your own argument, are stating that you’re undeserving because you beat someone who never deserved the title.
I laugh when I have people who destroy the credibility of the championship or alternately, counter those arguments by essentially rendering their championship as unneeded. Both arguments do no favours. They just make you look like an idiot and nothing more.
This is the song that never ends, it goes on and on forever…blah, blah, blah. (Song edited just to avoid me getting sued for it being trademarked)
Why do people feel the need to give me a twenty page essay for their promo? I don’t need to read that many reasons for why you’re going to win or why you’re going to pummel your opponent into the mat. Why do you feel the need to keep doing it though?
My simple rule for a promo: Have a decent premise, make your point and then get out. The longer you go on or dwell on a point, the more you water down your arguments. After a while, you just have a waterfall of points and I care little about any of them.
Let me give you an example:
You’re on the phone with a telemarketer. You decided that you were going to be nice today and foolishly picked up the phone and thus, for some reason are morally compelled to NOT hang up the phone. The guy on the other end explains who he is. You answer a few questions and then he tells you you can get some nice product for a limited price. You’re unsure about why you’d want the product, let alone NEED the product. But never fear, he’s got a laundry list of reasons as to why. He lists of his two or three most compelling and you’re sold. But you take just a second too long to respond and he continues to ramble for several hours, giving detailed reasons, many of which don’t matter or are just requisites of the initial two to three reasons that already sold you. But he keeps talking, forever, hoping he’ll seal the deal. At some point, you’re going to either stop caring and walk away from your phone, or more likely, hang up.
THAT is what I often go through with many promos. Now, I never like to give people limits for promos. That’s useless and should be unnecessary, because some people like to tell stories and thus a longer promo that tells a story can actually prove to be really effective with a strong moral that can get the reader and the opponent to think. In the end, promos are only good if effective. And flooding me with repetitive arguments and long drawn out arguments that could be far clearer in just a few sentences aren’t going to get it done. Instead, it can cost you your match. I frequently remind people never to throw every possible argument about why you’re going to win into a promo. Throw only a few. It prevents you from rambling and also saves material if your opponent is late to respond.
Shoot comments FTW!
Seriously, I don’t even know why I need to bring this up. In general, I hate OOC things put into roleplays. It’s petty and it’s lazy. Furthermore, there is one thing I HATE in roleplays.
“Wrestler X has been a bit quiet. Why is that? I made my comments a week ago and yet here I am. Nothing from you.”
I hate this for one reason. I already know that. You don’t need to tell me. And when you do, I’ve likely read that same formulation a few weeks earlier. People are rarely creative when they talk about people not having responded. It’s lazy and it’s showing me you have nothing better to say. In general, I have problems when people max out for no reason. Yes, I love to see roleplays. But I’d prefer to see meaningful roleplays. If you limit your material per roleplay, it can allow all of your roleplays to be meaningful. You avoid repetition. You also avoid clichéd responses and promo ideas. If you’ve said it before, then keep it really short and sweet. Merely remind me. I don’t need a whole promo reminding me. The problem is that shoot comments and talks about late replies always come out because people felt the need to post something for the hell of it. The problem is….it’s not needed and it rarely helps. It just annoys me. In general, post a promo if you have a reason for it. A Breakdown has been posted with some new storyline material. Your opponent has replied. You have something else to say that you didn’t think of. You don’t have to give me a full out promo in every roleplay for a match. Give me an effective promo if you’re going to write one.
Oh…and speaking of lazy, I love when people mention politics. Instead of coming up with a good reason and taking fourteen seconds to think of something creative, they throw that lovely word out. Whether it’s because they feel that legitimately or it works for the character, unless I’ve put that on the shows, I generally discourage with that. I say that because often I see people throw that out because they lost a match and they’re lazy in searching for a way to move on. Declaring politics can work, but people again throw it around so lazily that it just makes me groan every time I read it. In the recent storylines, there have been some obvious examples of the owner using politics to put ahead his faction. Bring that up, fine. Call politics there. But if it doesn’t directly relate to you, it comes off as petty and lazy.
Now all of these things are avoidable. I’d rather read two people roleplay against each other with good promos than one be clearly superior. It makes me excited about the storylines and possible matchups that I can go with afterwards.
Some general things to remember:
1) PROMOTE YOUR MATCH – If you at least give us a reason to watch the match, then you can probably get away with a bit. A lot of people don’t do this. I realize for Breakdown this would be difficult, but for a pay per view, if you don’t do this, it’s almost unforgiveable.
2) IF YOU’VE SAID IT BEFORE, DOES IT NEED TO BE SAID AGAIN? – Repetition can be used for effect. Rarely do I see it used as such. Saying something again once or twice is forgiveable, going on three tirades on it in one promo isn’t.
3) DON’T BURY YOUR OPPONENT – Give us a reason to care if you win. When in doubt, think about what you get out of the match. You can always insult your opponent or make fun of them, but never discount their wins or ability. You do that, it’s a slippery slope that generally backfires. In the end, think about what you get out of a match if you win. Try to maintain that.
4) KEEP TITLES SACRED – When in doubt, rarely discredit a champion and his credentials. You can question things about them, but also defend the value of the title and even what the status of champion represents. You can go after the wrestler, but for the love of God, keep those things sacred. It will at least give you some value for a win and protect you in a loss.
In general, what I’m pointing out here isn’t difficult. I’m essentially suggesting to you all to realize what your promos result in. Basic rule can simply be to re-read your promos before you post. Take out the names and just read the promo. If at the end you think that you gain nothing from a win, you’ve done too much damage. Perhaps a better way to look at it is, if you lose, can you save face? That may allow you to rethink some comments. Right now, I see a lot of people that are amazing at burying people and very few that can promote their opponent and gain the most out of every match. It would be amazing if people could do that. So many better storyline possibilities could come out of people. Too many people are afraid to give their opponents credit, however.
And allow me to make one comment before I end. I think a lot of people are afraid to give their opponent’s credit because they think it’s not cool. It’s only cool to trash talk your opponent. Think back to all of bad asses in wrestling. Scratch that. Think back to all of the SUCCESSFUL bad asses in wrestling. They never would say their opponent was crap. They never said that they couldn’t wrestle. Their ultimate message was always “You’re good. But I’m better. And if you don’t like it, I don’t care.” They belittle the person, but never the wrestler. Remember that. Too many people want to be the cool face. The problem is that most people forget that they are working in text and so things are read as they are written…and most people write things to make their opponent look like something that comes out of where they often leave their head.
Hope this helps. Good luck to you all.