OOC: Here we go! Tried something really different I have no idea how it is going to work out. Please be aware and this is not joke, but a genuine disclaimer for explicit content in this RP. Read at your own risk. Anyway, this is my offering. Best of luck, everyone.
Getting a Few Things Off of My Chest
Off Camera
Office of Dr. Lucio
New Orleans, Louisiana
Tuesday, May 26, 2020
10 am
There are certain things that you can count in this world, no matter who you are. These things are what my Momma you used to call while I was growing up absolutes. The concept here was simple; While in life there are things that we cannot control, there are also absolutes, that is things that are going to remain true in our life despite how you might screw up or do a great job at the other things around.
For example, I could do, have done, and probably will do something completely stupid for the rest of my life (see using caffeine pills till I almost lost my life) and at the end of the day, is Victor still going to love me?
Absolutely.
I could question and even become angry with my Momma and Daddy (and I have) concerning why they waited so long to tell me that I was adopted, but are they still going to love me through that?
Absolutely.
I could be down on myself all of the time (sometimes I am), something that frustrates Amy to no end because she hates it when I refuse to see all my positives about myself that she does, but is she always going to be there for me, to love and nurture me as only a mentor, friend, and Mom can?
Absolutely.
Those are my three most important absolutes in my life. Whenever things get too rough for me, I can always turn to one of those four people who will absolutely be in my corner to offer me advice and support, even if they do not agree with me. However, there are those instances that even talking to one of these people, one of my absolutes that just will not cut it for me. In these instances, I go outside my comfort zone. Because even my absolutes might have an opinion about something that is not exactly unbiased. It’s not even their fault. When dealing with subject that you already know so much about, you can have an opinion without even realizing it, therefore you cannot give an unbiased opinion even if you want to.
But I’m a turner, I turn pages all the time, and right now I am turning a page to the next chapter in my life, trying to be more assertive in the way that I go about things in life as well as in wrestling. While I know that this will be better off for me in the long run to be more assertive, to go after what I want, but I am nervous, and that nervousness causes me a lot of anxiety which in turn can cause a lot of depression.
That is the last thing that I want to do, me going from spreading all of the love I can to people all over and instead becoming depressed. So, after taking some suggestions about what I should do, I have decided to see a therapist, Dr. Lucio. Dr. Lucio is someone that I have met through Amy as she volunteers at Amy’s shelter, but she does not have any idea why I have decided to see her for therapy. Truth be told, I am still unsure about whether or not I want to do this because I don’t know how therapy will work for me, or if I really believe it will help. I did come for my initial intake session last week and that went well enough that I am willing to give therapy a try and see where it takes me. One thing is for sure though I am glad even as I am waiting for Dr. Lucio in her office to start the therapy session, that I know Dr. Lucio ahead of time and that she knows me, because there is no way I would be opening up about my life.
I am playing with my hair, a nervous habit that I have had for most of my life, when she walks in the door.
Dr. Lucio: “Kelsai, it is so good to see you again, how are you?”
As Dr. Lucio walks around me to the other side of her desk and sits down, I find it funny that here I am at a psychologist’s office for the first time in my life, and I am the one who is psychoanalyzing her. Or at least that is what I know. Chances are, she is psychoanalyzing me as well, but that is alright. I smile at her because that is what I do, hoping that she can not see through that smile to what is really going on, because there is a lot going on, and I am not sure what I want to talk about yet.
Kelsai: “It is good to see you again too, Dr. Lucio. I am doing well, thank you.”
Dr. Lucio is looking me and though she is smiling back at me, I can tell that she is definitely psychoanalyzing me as well. My analysis stops at why did Dr. Lucio decide to wear red shoes for this session, and immediately I have an impending sense of dread that makes me want to get back to my car as quickly as possible and leave this place.
Dr. Lucio: “Really? Because you are the first person that I have ever meant who ties her hair into knots with one hand when she is doing well.”
Oh crap, this is so much worse that what I realized this was going to be. I am in way over my head here. Maybe I should have went with a therapist who I had never met before after all. I try to remain composed.
Kelsai: “Amy did tell me that you can be very….direct?
And now she is laughing. I really wish that I knew what she was laughing about because if there was anyone in this room that could use a good joke right now, that would be this girl right here.
Dr Lucio: “Amy Chastaine and I have known each other for a very long time Kelsai and Amy didn’t say that I can be very direct. That is probably your way of cleaning it up when Amy told you that I wouldn’t let you try to bullshit me, right? Because while you would probably almost never swear, Amy just tells it like it is.”
Wow, this woman though? This woman is good! Still though, as odd as this is going to sound, hearing Dr. Lucio quote Amy almost word for word a really calming effect on me, as now I can feel the tension and nerves I had leaving my body. Hopefully that means that I am going to relax and start to open up a little bit at least. One can only hope.
Kelsai: “That is exactly what Amy said to me about you, yes. I do have to ask though, why do you believe that people can only tell it like it is if they are swearing?”
Maybe she wasn’t expecting me to answer her with a question, but hey what can I say? I am just telling it like it is.
Dr. Lucio: “Oh I never said that all people need to swear in or to tell it like it is. I was talking about you specifically Kelsai. After talking with you during our initial intake session last week, I believe that you have a difficult time telling it like it is at all.”
Wait a minute, did this woman just call me a liar? Because I swear to God I will get up, punch her in the throat, walk out of this therapy session and never come, because saying that I am a liar? Those are fighting words!
Kelsai: “I don’t really like what you are implying Dr. Lucio. I do not lie to people.”
I watch her now as she seems a little slightly uncomfortable herself, but she does seem genuine with what she is about to say next.
Dr. Lucio: “I don’t mean to say that I believe that you try to actively deceive other people Kelsai. I think you are a wonderful young woman with such a tender heart to give back to the people that you are allowed to touch. But I also believe that you choose your words very carefully not wanting to say something that people wouldn’t expect from you rather than just saying the first thing that comes to your mind. Do you understand what I am saying now?”
I have already said it once and I will it again, that woman is good at what she does, considering that is something that I say about myself all of the time. It is like she is reading my mind, or something eerily similar.
Kelsai: “Yes, I understand what you are saying now. When you said that I choose my words carefully not wanting to say something that people wouldn’t expect from me, I actually say that about myself lots of times. So, what are we going to talk about today? You said there were a lot of different avenues that we could explore after our intake session last week.”
Dr. Lucio smiles again, and I am really starting to wonder genuinely if this might be the only person that I know that smiles more often than I do.
Dr. Lucio: “I thought that we have been talking already Kelsai. Seriously though, what we are going to talk about today all depends on you. What do you think that you would feel comfortable talking about with me today?”
There are a lot of things that I would like to talk about actually, but it is just so hard to decide where we could begin.
Kelsai: “I feel perfectly comfortable talking to you about anything to do with my life, Dr. Lucio.”
Dr. Lucio: “Alright then let’s start with something that I think should be really easy. Let’s talk about your marriage.”
I know that immediately Dr. Lucio can tell that something is wrong with me from me strange look that is probably on my face, but I can’t help it. That suggestion just caught me so far off guard, which I am starting to learn that is something that Dr. Lucio seem to really enjoy. Why does Dr. Lucio want to talk about my marriage though? There is nothing that is wrong with my marriage, at least nothing that I can think of.
Dr. Lucio: “Is there something wrong, Kelsai?”
Kelsai: “I am just trying to figure out why among all of the things that we could talk about in my life, why you choose to have us discuss my marriage, because I can tell you, there is nothing wrong with my marriage.”
Dr. Lucio: “Yeah that is something that is often misunderstood about therapy. Most people just assume like you are now that we are only going to discuss problem issues in your life and how we are going to fix them, but that is often not the case. Most therapists, myself included, like to start off with something to talk about in your life that is going well. That way, you will feel more comfortable with the conversation and that way it will be easier to get you to open up more when we start transitioning into thing that are more trouble spots in your life, if that makes sense to you?”
Briefly, I thought about what Dr. Lucio was saying and it did make a lot of sense honestly, and this nothing going better in my life right now than my marriage to Victor. So, I guess then we were going to start by discussing my marriage to Victor, who Dr. Lucio had also known because of her work at the shelter, because like me, she he seen Victor at BlackOut Academy. The fact that we were going to talk about that love of my life and our union together automatically makes me beam.
Kelsai: “Sure, that makes perfect sense to me. So, what would you like to discuss about my
marriage?”
Dr. Lucio: “Well if you could please tell me, what was it like the last time that you and Victor were together. You indicated during our intake session that the two of you don’t always get to spend as much time together as you would like because of both of you needing to be away from home for work though you did say you are gone more than Victor is, but when was the last time that the two of you were able to spend some time together?”
I must have had to biggest grin on my face at that moment because I knew exactly when the last time we got to spend together was and yes it was a very good night if you know what I mean, and I think that you do.
Kelsai: “Actually, that is really easy to remember because it was just last night that we were able to spend time with one another.”
Dr. Lucio “And I can tell just from looking at you that you and Victor got to spend some real quality time together.”
I could not stop smiling ear-to-ear, and yes, I guess you could say that I might have given myself and my husband away but what do you expect considering Victor looks the way that he does, what do you expect?
Kelsai: “Yeah, you could say that. I have been wanting to get more assertive about a lot of things both in and out of the ring like we talked about last week, and I can say that last night for the first time I really became more assertive at home.”
Dr. Lucio: “Really? Can you tell me anything more about that?”
Kelsai: “Alright. I guess that it all started around 7 o’clock. Victor was away on business for a couple of days. Well we he got home, let’s just say that he got much more than he bargained for from his newly assertive wife and….”
Home of Victor and Kelsai Mason
New Orleans, Louisiana
Monday, May 25, 2020
7 pm
As I see Victor’s car pull into our driveway, I sweep into action. By the time that Victor walks into our front door he is clearly tired but also wondering what is going on as I am sitting that on our couch wearing mothing but my robe and a smile, while I sipping wine with a smile on my face. I could already tell how confused Victor was taking the whole scene in just looking at the blank expression on his face before he even spoke.
Victor: “Kelsai?”
Just like that and I was done. It happened before that really because all I had to do is just see him. I know that a lot of women might say this because they feel like they have to for one reason or another, but I say it because I genuinely think that is true. My husband Victor Mason is the sexiest man that I have ever laid eyes on. For me, there just is no equal to him, not even close, why else would I marry the man after the day after meeting, something I have taken a lot of heat for and I still do with some people. But I could help myself, I just could not take the chance after one date that some other woman would swoop in and steal him away from me. I am quite frankly, the luckiest woman alive being married to Victor, which is exactly what I was thinking about too as I walked up to him and kissed him full on the mouth causing Victor to drop his luggage, before I nibble on his right ear and whisper…
Kelsai: “I want and I need you inside of me now.”
You could hear a pin drop in our house, and I could tell that I had left Victor stunned and unsure of what to say.
Victor: “Kelsai ummm, what did you just say?”
Clearly as I was wanting to for some time I was being much more assertive about getting what I wanted and my husband didn’t know what to think. Looks like I will have too turn up heat a little bit more, as I start to untie my robe while whispering in Victor’s right ear again.
Kelsai: “I said that I want and I need you inside of me right now. Do you have a problem with that?”
Victor: “I have no idea where this is coming from, but absolutely not. Please continue.”
We turn and I start backing Victor up toward the couch, as slowly I starting to slide Victor clothes off. I start with Victor’s suitcoat as I quickly send it to the floor and I also am backing until he is seated on the couch. Victor is obviously very receptive now my aggressive actions. He is letting me take control and love it. I am straddling him, taking off his shirt one button at a time. My robe is still and so are Victor’s pants, but I am starting to slowly rock back and forth on my hips as growl…
Kelsai: “Who is my sexy beast Victor?”
Victor: “I am your sexy beast?”
That is not nearly good enough for me, I need something more as I stare straight into his eyes which although he is clearly enjoying what it is that I am doing, part of him still looks confused by the way I am acting right now, and I can’t have that while I reach down into Victor’s pants and find what I am searching for.
Kelsai: “No damn it, that’s not enough for me tonight, say it like you mean it!! I said who is my sexy beast Victor?!?
These time Victor is much more forceful with his response and that is music to my ears because that tells me that he is no longer worried about how I am acting and is just enjoying being with me as this time I can hear him growl.
Victor: “I AM YOUR SEXY BEAST!”
I lean down and start nibbling on his left ear lobe now, even my breasts become close to being freed from my robe and Victor starts to feel them up through what little bit of fabric is still covering that while I whisper as best as I can though it is getting harder to concentrate.
Kelsai: “Damn right…Ahhhhh…you are. Now…give me what…. oooooohhhh…I want you, you sexy…beast. I want your cock!”
If there is one thing that I can say for Victor besides the fact the he loves me, it is that he always tries to give more precisely what I want and this would be now be know different as Victor turned me over and with one thrust I could feel him entering deep inside of and…..
Dr. Lucio Office
New Orleans, Louisiana
Tuesday, May 26, 2020
Present Time
Kelsai: “…and let me just say that last night ended up changing my husband’s perception of me I believe, maybe as much as a complete 180, at least when we are just the two of us, he and I.”
I can tell just looking at her after listening to what happened in my living room last night that Dr. Lucio’s perception of me might have changed some as well, and honestly if it did in that moment, I liked that too.
Dr. Lucio: “Yeah I guess you could certainly say that. The questions now becomes however, how do you feel like about your assertiveness in your marriage now? Because your marriage is certainly different today than it was 24 hours earlier from now.”
My wide grin gave me away before Dr. Lucio could get the end of her question out, because was feeling like not only was I more assertive person because of this, but assertiveness was going to lead to more exciting things in my marriage and in turn maybe more exciting things for me in my wrestling career also.
Kelsai: “I feel great about the new level of assertiveness that I have achieved in my marriage, and I can tell you that this is a new idea in our marriage that both Victor and I are just waiting to explore, together.”
Dr. Lucio considers everything that I have just said carefully, I know this because I am starting to learn Dr Lucio and how she operates. Sometimes it is almost like while she is listening to what it is that you have to say, she also taking mental notes and preparing her response. Still I never expected what Dr. Lucio was going to say to me next.
Dr. Lucio: “I really glad to hear that Kelsai. So you would say that your marriage improved because of that fact that you were able to bring down some of your walls with Victor and let him see another side of you then maybe?”
Kelsai: “Without a doubt I would say so, yes.”
And with that simple statement I was trapped by my therapist who is brilliant. I didn’t know yet, but I was trapped as I was about to find out right now, as she started to get a big smile on her face.
Dr. Lucio: “I am really so glad to hear that Kelsai. That was pretty good for someone who has no problems in her marriage, still being able to improve her marriage anyway.”
Even though I wanted to say something in my defense which really there was no defense for me because I have already explained I was trapped, Dr Lucio came in and asked me another question first.
Dr. Lucio: “Moving on, do you feel that since you have found a new level of assertiveness in your marriage, do you think then that is can translate to others areas of your life?”
Kelsai: “Well I certainly hope so. That was one of the ideas that I had when coming to see you to begin with.”
Dr. Lucio: “Alright, with that being said then, do you want to try something else I have had in mind with what little time we have left today, maybe even setting this up for our next session together two weeks from now?”
I though about it very briefly and quickly decided that this seemed like a good idea, no matter what the idea might be, another sign to me when I think back on it that I am really become more comfortable with Dr. Lucio all of the time. Neither one of us could have predicted that this next exercise would have me end up leaving in a very fowl mood, but that is exactly what happened.
Kelsai: “Yeah whatever you have in mind, lets do it. What is the plan?
Dr. Lucio reached inside her desk and pulled out a deck of playing cards, but these were not normal cards. These were playing cards that depicted SCW wrestlers. Taking the playing cards out and placing the in front of her.
Dr. Lucio: “So last night you were able to open up emotionally to Victor last night in a way that you didn’t even know that you needed. We know how you feel when you see Victor immediately though anyway. What would be helpful you I think is if you know how you feel immediately when you see other people. So, my thought is a little word association with people in SCW. This is probably going to be harder than it was with Victor, but it is absolutely necessary to be more assertive in how you deal with other people that you might deal with in SCW. I am going to turn up a card, and will give me the first two or three word that you can tell me about that person, alright?”
Yes, this sounded like a lot of fun actually!
Kelsai: “Alright, lets do it. I am going to tell you ahead of time though, I like everyone in SCW, most of them are friends, so this might be a little boring for you towards the end of it. For me, I am just going to have a lot fun because I am going to look at pictures of my friends.”
Dr Lucio: “Alright then, lets just see how this works out then.”
Taking the deck cards in her hand, Dr Lucio turns over the first card and I smile as staring back at me is the smiling face of Amy.
Kelsai: “My me..Mom. My Mom.”
Dr. Lucio beams as well knowing that was a very easy won to start with.
Dr Lucio: “Alright, let’s continue.”
Dr. Lucio turns over the next card and we both share a laugh because the face staring back at us is the face belonging to none other than Blake Mason.
Kelsai: “My Brother!”
Dr Lucio flips over the next card and as if this couldn’t get any easier for me I am greeted with the smiling face of Jaina.
Kelsai: “My Sister!”
Dr. Lucio flips over the next card however, and I react with a smile, but also a big sigh looking back at Jordan Majors.
Kelsai: “A sweet girl.”
Dr. Lucio is taking notes the whole time of my reactions but continues flipping cards and this time it is the face of James Evans. I don’t even blink.
Kelsai: “Best in the World.”
A little surprised by the last response, Dr. Lucio flips over the next face and almost appropriately the next face that of Bree Lancaster.
Kelsai: “My friend”
Keeping her promise not to say anything right now but just observe my reactions Dr. Lucio has a lot to observe with this next card as we it was Glory Braddock. I say almost disgusted.
Kelsai: “A fraud.”
Dr. Lucio looks at me, knowing that I was very uncomfortable seeing Glory reaches out tapping me lightly on one shoulder.
Dr. Lucio: “Time for just one more?”
Kelsai: “Alright.”
I immediately regret that decision, and now I feel physically ill staring into the eyes of the one person I cannot stand more anyone else, the manipulative Sienna Swann.
Kelsai: “Bitch.”
Dr. Lucio: “Excuse me?”
Kelsai: “Evil, manipulative, bitch! She was never for the people damn it. I am for the people! And she helped to destroy Jaina and Jordans relationship! I will never forget for causing my sister so much pain!”
I want to break something…
Dr. Lucio: “And that is it for today’s session! I certainly feel like we have good point where we can start in two weeks though.”
I stand up, bawling both of my fist as I do.
Kelsai: “Yeah I think we had better stop, otherwise I have my doubts as to whether or not I would be coming back in two weeks. In fact, I am having my doubts now as it is.”
I turn and leave the office. I hear Dr. Lucio call my name after me, but I do not stop until I am in my car and driving away, angry tears now hitting the floor.
Somethings are just best processed alone.
Through Difficult Situations, I Burn For YOUR Flame
On Camera
With the annual Taking Hold of the Flame battle royal scheduled this Sunday at the Prudential Center in Newark, New Jersey I just wanted to take this opportunity to say thank you to a couple of groups of very important individuals. First of all, to my many fans around the world, who have continued to believe in me even when I started to question my belief in myself. Your continued faith in me is a large part of the reason why I am standing here before you today to begin with. More on that later. Second to the Sasha D. the Board of Directors, thank you for giving me the time I have needed to remember just how important what this is that is going on this Sunday. The waiting is over though because I am ready for this match on Sunday, as ready as I ever will be.
I am ready because of all of you, the fans, my lovelies. I have around this country during this pandemic and there is no doubt that I have run into many difficult situations. Everyone thinks that just because I was fortunate enough to grow up with a Daddy who was a superstar professional wrestler turned into megastar Hollywood actor and a Momma who is an attorney to all of these superstars, many people assume that I just grew up with wealth and privilege and that I don’t understand what it is like to live through a difficult situation. If you are one of those people, respectfully I am here to tell you that you are wrong, that I do understand what it means to live through difficult situation. I understand because I have been talking with you in every place that we go around this nation and not only have a been talking with you but I have listened and I have cared. So now, yes, I do know what it means to live through a difficult situation.
When you have diabetes and take every effort to make sure that your feet are properly cared for but waked one day to find out you might be losing a foot anyway despite your best efforts, that is a difficult situation.
When you are told that your place of employment is essential through the pandemic and so take every precaution possible but still end up getting the virus and end up nearly dying because of it, that is a difficult situation.
When you are working hard at your job even from home every day, but despite all of your hard work you have to live in the shadow says everyday you could end up getting laid off have no income support your wife and child, that is a difficult situation
When you out of nowhere have a panic attack so violent that nearly causes you to have a car accident which could have been tragic for so many people including yourself, that is a difficult situation.
When you have a stroke and it leaves one side of your body paralyzed and the other so tired and sore from over use because you are still trying to better yourself and get your Masters degree, that is a difficult situation
See, I am not physically having to deal all of these difficult situations but I am living all of them vicariously through all of you so damn it, I do understand what it means to live through a difficult situation.
Now then however, this Sunday night, I am asking you to come together my lovelies and help me as I try to overcome my own difficult situation. No, my life will not be on the line, nor might I lose a limb, lose my job, or end up paralyzed Sunday is own type of difficult situations. 39 of the best wrestlers that SCW has to offer will compete with me for the Flame and I am asking you to believe in me just one more time. It is a difficult situation, I am asking all of you to be there for me as I compete to bring home the Flame go on to the main event at Rise to Greatness and compete for the SCW World Championship. I know you will be there because it not my title, it YOUR title just like its YOUR flame.
With your help I am bringing it back home to all of YOU!
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