Gimmick Battle Royal

[Corner G]

The scene rises up inside a knock-off Food Network kitchen. There is a giant stock pot set upon the large burner of a stove and canned, public domain music playing over. The bubbling brew may not appear that appetizing to the naked eye, but I can assure you that the naked nose doesn't feel much better about it. But that doesn't matter... because the ripples around the bubbles herald the arrival of a man who is larger than life... larger than his stature may be able to maintain - former SCW superstar...

"Are you ready to be buff..."

A studio audience bellows out... "BUFF LIKE SLOTH!"

Yes, the man of 1000 pounds - only half of which are metaphors - Sloth lumbers into the scene. He walks over to his pot clad in an undersized Sloth apron and a chef's had resting upon his bulbous head.

"That's right... and with the brand new formula of our massive hit SLOTH BROTH, you too can become BUFF LIKE SLOTH!"

The audience politely applauds.

"And right now, to celebrate the inclusion of me, SLOTH, in the Rise to Greatness Gimmick Battle Royal, we are going to send everyone who orders that show with the code BUFFLIKESLOTH..."

*BUFFLIKESLOTH* begins to flash on the screen.

"...a FREE SAMPLE of RTG SLOTH BROTH, so you too can become BUFF..."

The audience again finishes the quote... "BUFF LIKE SLOTH!"

The scene shifts to a marketing phone number to order your own Sloth Broth, available in Keg, Oil Drum, and new Pallet sizes! Free samples to come in Paint Can sizes. Order now before supplies run out!

©BUFFLIKESLOTH Enterprises, 2022