People have been wondering what this next Cynical View of E-fedding will entail. To be honest, I really had thought of it for a while now and really just wanted to know what people thought. But time for a bit a history lesson.
On June 10, 2007, the SCW event Taking Hold of the Flame took place. The signature match of the event is the thirty-man battle royal. This saw some of the top roleplayers in SCW and Majestic go at it to see who would get a shot at the SCW Championship at Rise to Greatness….and I watched several people make the same mistakes people have made each and every year. The main mistake….I watched over half the field think that if they give me a long rambling promo, they will get the thumbs up from me on match relevance. The bigger mistake…several people did this in matches outside of the battle royal.
So thus, what will this be about? Well it’s pretty obvious. Trash-talking, or, in more general context, match relevance. People forget that just throwing down a promo isn’t going to cut it. It doesn’t take much talent to rip your opponent a new one through verbal insults. As can be seen from time to time, some people take it to the OOC boards and get the wonderful two-week suspension for their efforts. The fact of the matter remains, I have given people losses because their match relevance sucks or is subpar.
Now before I go on talking about this, please do not take the following as a guarantee to win. If you think that, you probably should bash yourself upside the head with a blunt object, because I will ALWAYS say that roleplaying is relative. It doesn’t matter whether you follow every suggestion I give you. If your opponent roleplays better than you or does those things better, you will lose. It happens. Realize this. I realize many people read these columns and many apply what I suggest in them for whatever reason. However, many of those people then find it hard to find why they lost because they “did everything that I said to do.” Well, if your opponent does everything I say to do too, does that mean it’s a draw by default? No. That’s just stupid. It means I need to decide that someone did something better and sometimes I forget to put things on this list. People are creative when they want to be and they can find ways that I don’t cover and turn them into roleplaying masterpieces. Please realize this.
So where to start? Well I’m going to simply cover five good habits for trash-talking and then five things that just piss me off when reading a promo.
Good things!
1. Including storyline
– You would be surprised how many people fail to do this. I try to write shows to give you even extra fodder for your opponent. So in the event that your opponent is going to be roleplaying later in the week, you should be able to post a solid piece of match relevance just by using what happened on previous weeks. If you’re in a storyline with these people, use it! It always makes me happy to know that you actually read the show and actually give a damn about what happens with your character.
2. Talk about your opponent
– This is something again a lot of people fail to do. This is a double-edged sword and sometimes being general can work very well. However, it takes a talented writer to do this and not make me bored. However, if you talk about your opponent, it is easy match relevance. However, also realize this….do something of your own. Don’t just give me basic promo #1 or something like this. Make it your own. This leads to the next point.
3. Inject your character into the promo
– Again, nothing too revolutionary. If you’re cutting a promo and your character development has you cowering in fear, then don’t be confident in your roleplay unless you’ve given me a reason for the shift. A lot of people just act like a cocky heel or cut a promo that would be The Rock or Stone Cold personified. Yeah, it may read well, but it rarely does favours to your character unless it is believable that your character would trash-talk like that. Avoid doing the basics and take a risk by writing a promo for your character and your character alone. If I can take your promo and just switch the names and it works for anyone else, there’s a problem.
4. Be creative
– I’ve already mentioned about not giving me basic promo #1, but a lot of people figure if they verbally beat their opponent into oblivion, they’re going to win. Make your opponent look like a fool and voila, you’re the next SCW Champion. Not necessarily. I’ve seen people make their opponents look like a fool in terms of their match relevance, but they just beat them down. Much like a bully on a school yard would insult a kindergartener and ask for their lunch money, it’s effective on the weak and just foolish on the strong. Anyone can spew insults. I know I could at age two. Does that mean you’ve done anything earth-shattering? No. It just means you’ve spewed out insults for several paragraphs.
5. For the love of God, format.
– This is a controversial point, but it does affect things. I’ve seen far too many people give me a block of text that has them trash-talking about their opponent. That’s all well and good, however, the main problem with that is that I often visualize the character giving the promo. If I see a block of text, I visualize your character saying that as one giant rant like promo. If that’s what you want, great. But if not, then it’s not going to do you favours. Most specifically, the problem with a block of text is if you do something I don’t care for, it often lingers with the rest of it. If I don’t have a break to reset myself for the next paragraph, I’ll be more likely to be far more critical on things, than if you do a minor thing and break up your promo a bit. If you do a minor thing, but fail to break up your promo, it can almost seem like a snowball effect.
There are five rules to follow. They won’t equal a win, but they can help and make things more effective. However, here are five things that basically piss me off because not only can they take the wind out of the sails of a good roleplay, but in some cases, it can make me absolutely hate the work.
1. Your character really says nothing.
– For those of you who don’t know, I am in several debating teams at my school. It’s something I enjoy. But as a result of this, I can also usually tell when someone is really just throwing a bunch of crap out. The problem is that people think that if they throw in a bunch of big words and talk and talk and talk, I’ll concede defeat and voila, they look good on the promo end of things. The fact of the matter is that, just as in roleplaying as a whole, it’s quality over quantity. Give me a ten page long promo that really is just wondering around talking about everything in the free world, I probably won’t care. If you tell me a story to use as a metaphor, make it clear I see the point. Don’t allow me to guess and hope that I’ll figure it out. I’m a smart guy, but remember how many roleplays I read. If you want something to come out, make it come out. You don’t necessarily need to slap me in the face with it, but make sure that you leave enough clear hints to make me get the message. Otherwise, you may get classified in the group of you saying nothing. Anyone can write for paragraph after paragraph. But do they say something meaningful. A lot of people don’t and thus, it sounds good, but has no meaning. Think of some of the promos from the early 90s….how many of them actually just sounded cool, but said nothing. In audio, you can get away with it. In type, it’s a bit harder and fortunately, I know how to read quite well and I usually catch it.
2. I’m going to talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and drown my opponent in hopes I win.
– A lot of people still don’t understand that if you give a long rambling promo, it doesn’t mean you’ll win. It just means you have a long, rambling promo. A lot of people did this for the Taking Hold of the Flame battle royal. They covered every thing they could think of and hoped they’d win. The problem with that is that you then have no clear message and furthermore, you can bore me to death. Unless you’re that good with words, promos shouldn’t go on forever. If you’re up to twenty pages of just solid promo, turn around and ask yourself how much of it is any good? Quantity means nothing to me. Look at Damian Angel. He is one of the best at making a little a lot. He can take a couple of paragraphs and make the message resonate for as long as he desires. He’s effective with his words. He’s not going to drown you, but he is going to make it clear what is point is.
3. I’m going to talk about everyone!
– This is specifically for battle royals. For the love of God, I don’t care if you can name everyone in the match and insult them. I really don’t. Again, no talent or creativity there. If all of them have talked about you in a roleplay, then fine, I can see it. But try to pace yourself. Do a few a roleplay. Or focus on those who are legitimate threats. Or focus on people your character has beef with. Why? Like before, it’s about effectiveness. If you talk about everyone, all it tells me is that you know who is in the match. It doesn’t make things clear. It doesn’t deliver a message all that well and unless you’re really creative with your language, it’s just repetitive.
4. I’m going to let you know I’m the best and make sure you remember it!
– This line is for all of those who feel the need to say the same thing, over and over and over again. Notice the trend here. All of these points have to do with diluting a message and repetition can be good, if used correctly for effect. The problem is that it’s just as easy to make it annoying as hell and just lose all effect. Saying the same thing over and over again. Also, remember, you have the ability to edit. Try and have some flow in your promos. If you’re going to talk about weaknesses, talk about all of them at the same time. Don’t flip-flop. It just makes me get a headache half the time.
5. The best offense is a good defense.
– Some people believe that if they counter everything their opponent said about them, they’re golden. It’s based off the philosophical principle of reductio ad absurdum. Basically, take your opponent’s points against you, show them to be completely insane and voila, they look like an idiot and you look bulletproof. Now, this I have no problems with. I do however have problems with people who make that their entire promo. The first question I have is immediately…you came out with that? If all you do is counter everything your opponent says and just show it to be stupid, it can reduce your opponent’s effectiveness but it makes your character look desperate and nothing more. Unless that is what you’re aiming for, give me a bit more. Go on the offensive a bit and attack your opponent instead of just defending. The problem with this is that a lot of people who do this are the cocky heels and that’s great and all, but if you’re a cocky heel, you don’t want to look desperate.
Essentially, my final point is this. There is an obvious trend with both lists. One is that it isn’t that difficult. The other is to simply be effective. This is where people forget what to do. In the Taking Hold of the Flame battle royal, a lot of people shot themselves in the foot because they weren’t that effective. They just threw a long bit of trash-talking at me instead of giving me an articulated promo. If you want a recent example of how to impress me, read the Greg Cherry vs. Xander Valentine roleplays from Taking Hold of the Flame. Those two showed how to write effectively and made my life a living hell in terms of judging as I thought both had probably put out their most effective work in months, if not the most effective work in SCW as a whole this year.
The difference between trash-talking and cutting a promo is simple, in my opinion. It merely is effectiveness. Trash-talking is done to serve one purpose: to tear down your opponent. A promo is done to serve a different purpose: to hype the match and to give an idea of mindset. They are two different things. Anyone can tear down their opponent and in most people’s work I expect to see it. It’s an effective tool within writing a promo. However, in order to have a consistent opportunity to get the thumbs up for me in this area, you need to give more than just a tear down of your opponent. You need to be able to give a reason for that, even if it simply is to show that you’re better than your opponent or for revenge. It really isn’t that hard. Most of you already do it to some extent. It’s just a matter of doing it consistently and not falling into a few traps. Unfortunately, even I fall into those traps still. They are hard to dodge. It’s just a matter of being aware of what you’re writing and writing things as you wish and with a plan in mind. You’ll likely never be able to do it each and every week unless you’re incredibly talented, but you can at least be on the lookout for it and avoid the major headaches that make me bounce my head off the wall in frustration.