Well it’s the end of January and it’s been a while since I’ve really attacked some of the interesting things I’ve seen in the last little while and therefore, it’s warranted that My Cynical View of E-fedding returns.

Basically, all of this is just a guide for things as I see them. Take them or leave it. It’s by no means the Bible and I don’t want it to be taken as such. I don’t need a religion named after me. And if you’re offended by that last statement…Welcome to the column!

I am the best! How the [insert 27 curse words here] did I lose? I’m the king of the world!

I’ve had this before. I laugh at these people. Why? It’s clear that won’t listen to whatever I say and will find a way to turn it against them. So that’s why I’ve decided to make a rule making it clear that if I don’t feel you’re even listening to me and are just going to yell at me for seven straight hours, you can do it in your washroom after eating twelve tacos and I can go watch some television. I have yet to call anyone on it, but really, if you’re that pissed at me and think I’m some biased jerk…why the hell would you want to stay? It’s not worth the headache on both sides.

But before you think about that, here’s a suggestion. Before you come yelling and screaming to me…think about this. Is it possible that you could’ve lost? Is it possible that your roleplay did roleplay better than you? Face it, there are close matches all the time. There are not as many clear cut cases anymore, especially when you’re in bigger matches. It’s a fact of the matter. Realize this. You may then perhaps be more open to what I say and furthermore, you may be more open to seeing what I saw in their work to give them the win.

Also, before you come yelling at me, take a day or two and calm down and then talk to me. You’re less likely to then get worked up and plus, you may get a chance to see what I saw in it. Remember, most matches and that’s 95% of matches per month, are judged by me and me alone. Only if it is really close and I want a back up opinion do I go to a second judge. If I don’t have that option, I go back to my grading system I used to use (I assign point values to different parts of your roleplays. This was done for three matches at Body, Heart and Soul, for example). I intentionally do things this way. It’s easier for me to defend my own opinion than someone else’s and I hope you realize that I’m not going to bullshit you. I’m going to tell it as I’ve seen it. Listen to what I say and then take it or leave it. Also, furthermore, I am human. I may miss something or goof and be more critical than I should be of something. It happens. I won’t change the match result, however, providing that you have a solid case and it’s not that it was close, I may consider giving a rematch.

But I’m still the best right!

Cool it with the egos. They are just annoying. Several people have taken it upon themselves to make statements, serious or not, on the boards that could be considered egotistical. I’ve noticed people are much easy to piss of these days and that’s part of the reason I prefer to keep them off the boards unless it’s blatantly a joke.

But I did everything you told me to. I must be the best now….right?

People have pulled this one too. I don’t give a damn if you write everything how I want it. If I want things written as I want it….I’d write it. It’s that simple. I merely give suggestions. I tell you what I liked and don’t like if you want me to. That’s all. But because I don’t like one part doesn’t mean that you should completely change everything. It may be the execution I don’t like. It may just be that it came off poorly. Who knows? Either way, write things as you want to. That’s how you usually do your best. I don’t usually have a problem with writing styles. I generally have a problem with content.

I have this great idea….

Stop right there. Don’t bother telling me your idea for a roleplay on MSN. I don’t care. Why? Everyone can have a great idea. I have several a day. I have to as the booker and writer of this place. If I didn’t have great ideas, you guys would hate the shows. However, as much as I have great ideas, the execution is the most important. The most simple things can be made to be huge with proper execution. I have seen people have great ideas and they start putting it into their roleplays and they fall flat on their face because they just didn’t think it through and how it would be best to do it.

Execution is just as important as the idea. This is something you will hear me say if you ask why you lost. Usually, people have good ideas. They may be even very creative. However, when you fail to write it well or properly or just write it in a way that just doesn’t work, it affects it and it comes off as poor and it will end up hurting you. Everyone has a bad day. Remember this. However, it’s one thing to just have a bad day. It’s another to just be bad at doing things. If you ask, I’ll tell and I’ll tell you if you need to rework something.

Wooo! I just beat you with the RKO!

This one just pisses me off. I was planning on looking it up and seeing how many people have the same finishers. I decided not to because I didn’t want to start crying. Some people have asked why I don’t use certain finishers. One reason is that half the roster is using it. This isn’t always the case but sometimes is. Think about the RKO/Ace Crusher/Diamond Cutter. I can think of at least five guys who use it.

Now, ask yourself this question. Remember how half the guys in the ring today now use a leg drop. Hogan still uses the damn thing as his finisher. Why the hell is he always winning with it and everyone else is lucky to get two? Is it just that he is that much better at executing it? If so, wouldn’t you think just by chance someone would hit it as well as he supposedly does? If this sounds stupid, you see my point. Because of that fact that everyone uses the move (Not just as a finisher), I tend to make it a desperation move to change the tide that way it still has some value when it’s used. However, if everyone uses it for different things, who cares.

So if you’re thinking about it and notice you have this move (or others) as a finisher, think if there is something better out there. I know everyone wants those great out of nowhere moves, but there are plenty. And I’ve been watching wrestling for 17 years and I’ve been writing it for three and half. I would hope I can help you out should you need it. There are plenty of moves that people never use and would work just as well.

You guys suck! I rule! You should pick me in the prediction threads!

For the love of God…every time I see someone get pissy about this, I want them to get their eyes stabbed out with a fork. Alright, maybe not that extreme. However, this is just stupid. It’s a God damn popularity contest and you know it. Hell, half of the people vote for their friends. Kassie Khane always votes for the same guys regardless of who they are facing. Epiphany will always vote for Dillusion, even if he’s facing God himself. It’s a meaningless thing. It means nothing. The only ones I’d take even somewhat seriously are those who actually give a reasoning for their choice. Those are the people I would look to please or prove wrong if anyone.

I win! My mom, dad and all of my extended family said so!

Yes, this has happened before. I’ve had people actually have their family who also happens to be in e-fedding tell me that one person should have won. I will merely say this. There is a reason they don’t let family members be character witnesses at trials.

He just copied this…how is that creative?

This is just stupid. I will put it this way. Everything in a way is copied. Technically, how I present Breakdown was probably copied by someone else. Ideas are copied. Hell, I can probably find someone else who each individual person in SCW copied. They are really only so many ideas. However there are many different scenarios and execution styles. This is what matters. When I say something is creative, I say it because I either haven’t see it in a while or it’s presented in a new and different way that made it their own. But if you want to argue with me on this, I guarantee you’ll lose. Why? Because Stone Cold said so!

Realism vs. Fantasy

Alright. This I shouldn’t even half to go into. However, please differentiate between dreams, visions, delusions and realism. Some of you, you fail to do this. Honestly, I’m not going to operate on the idea that if you fail to clearly tell me that it’s a dream, vision, etc., I’ll just ignore the roleplay. It’s not that hard. Change the font. Change the colour. Give an intro to it saying that someone collapses. Few of you are able to give me a clear understanding of whether something going on is real or not without me having to guess. I mainly say this because some people are using psychotic breaks and showing scenes of rape, death, etc. I’m fine with that…as long as it is not directly linked to you (as in you write yourself clearly doing it) or it’s clearly a dream, vision from the past, etc.